“You will never write? Anything? At all? Forever?”

“Yeah, I won’t. I can’t. I’m awkward with words.”

She is the most complicated creature I’ve ever known in my life. She pauses, staring at the ink that marks the white paper in wonder. It doesn’t look awkward so she keeps going. I’ve known her for years – in our early age. It was almost impossible to befriend her since we spoke different languages. I didn’t understand her and she didn’t understand me. Her Korean pronunciation was awfully bad and my English was a major fail. I don’t quite remember how we got through the obstacles. But we made it. I think I learned English harder and she studied Korean even in her sleep.

And then I…

I, what? She thinks. Lines of wrinkles form around her brows. She runs her fingers through her thin hair. Her stylists and managers have said to cut off the stress since it makes her hair falls more and more everyday. Screw them. It is their job to make her look presentable. It doesn’t matter what’s inside her. It’s for her to deal.

“And I what?” She whispers. The word is there, just at the tip of her pen. A little bit of bravery and it should be written there.

No.

This is not a good idea.

She crumbles the paper, kills off the light of her study room and gets out.

-----

“Writing can help you heal. Just put your thoughts on a paper and when you decide you’ve got it all out, rip it.”

“I have a better way.”

“How?”

“Sing.”

Standing ovation. She is so used to that. People praise her for how delicate she delivers the lyric, the melody; it synchronizes perfectly with the symphony. The audience is now crying emotionally. The song she sang was a sad one. The view upon her becomes blurred. She can feel her heart breaks into a thousand pieces just like a minute before, an hour ago, a year back – just like when she decided to leave.

Ocean apart, day after day and I slowly go insane. Her fingers tremble when she writes that certain lyric. If… if I see you next to never, how can you say forever?  It doesn’t make any sense. Nothing makes any sense. Everything stops making sense. In what world does she live? She pu