CHRISTMAS:

Of Merry Smiles and Fluttering Hearts

 

“It has been four years since we started the tradition of doing concerts on Christmas Eve yet you still always come.” Luhan said through his mic and gazed at the audience in front of him as if cherishing the sight of their loyal fans cheering loudly and merrily for them.

 

“Thank you for being with the four of us all this time despite us already getting older.” He continued and gazed at the three other guys next to him on stage. They nodded at him knowingly and smiled, allowing Luhan to continue. “We know there are already younger idols that are far better—“

 

“ANIYA!!!!” The fans have shouted in response to Luhan’s unfinished statement, making the four men in front smile boyishly in pride of still getting those feedbacks from their fans. Truly, this side of their fans always delighted them like a child. It was a privilege they would probably indulge in while they can.

 

“You guys are still the best!” Someone from the crowd hollered, her voice booming as people had their voices toned down. Heads turned in her direction, but she didn’t faze in her spot. She rather continued on cheering loudly for the four, proclaiming her earnest love for the four friends we have seen grow through the years.

 

Luhan chuckled, crinkling his eyes as he stared at the person who caused herself her own embarrassment. “You.” He pointed at the culprit. “You will never really change, won’t you?”

 

I sighed and watched, troubled, as Hani put up a proud face and showed a thumbs up to Luhan. “Of course!” She shouted again, making the guy sitting next to her hide his face in his hands in embarrassment while cradling their giggling son on his lap.

 

“You should have already gotten so used to her by now.” Jongin had mused as he patted Sehun’s shoulder, whilst the said boy tried recovering from his embarrassment because of Hani, his now wife.

 

Hani was already settling herself back on her husband’s right while craning her neck to continue watching the four soloists in front when Sehun leaned closer to Jongin and me to whisper, “God knows how much I invested on patience especially when she was delivering our son.” He shook his head and cringed at the memory of the past happening he had mentioned.

Actually, I remembered seeing Sehun coming out of the delivery room, after Hani had given birth with their son, two years ago, looking like he just came out from a battle that he had fought in the frontlines with a very tired-looking face, a messily disheveled hair, and crumpled clothes. The first thing he did when he came out was to look for Jongin and hug him, which was unusual for the usually cocky Sehun. But after he had told us what had happened inside the room with his wife, we understood why he came out like ready to pass out and was clinging to Jongin for dear life. Hani had pulled on his hair while in delivery and was beating out the crap on how incompetent he was as her husband—which she probably only managed to say due to the difficulty of her labor. Talking about it now, like our first reactions when he had spilled the beans, we only laugh at it though it still piques Sehun. To him, it was going to be a forever traumatizing event.

 

“She always screams at me but that doesn’t mean that I’ll get used to her embarrassing herself in those four’s concerts almost every time.” He smacked a hand on his face and rubbed it over in annoyance until suddenly Hani had given his arm a harsh slap.

 

She looked at him offended, probably from hearing the former’s complaints. “So, you’re embarrassed that your wife of so many years is cheering on your friends like this?” She shoved him on the shoulder a little and then glowered. ”Huh, huh, huh?” She pressed as she continued bullying Sehun.

 

Sehun forced out a grin at her and hauled her closer to appease her already sour mood. “Honey, I was just kidding.” He heaved us a knowing glance that made us chuckle, and turned his attention back to Hani. “Com’on, aren’t you the best? How could I feel embarrassed of my own wife?” He tried explaining to save himself from Hani’s wrath. “It-it’s just that… sometimes you’re going overboard and—“

 

“That’s implying that I’m doing something you don’t like, right? You’re really embarrassed of me, aren’t you?” Hani inquired with hurt visible on her face that Sehun had instantly softened to.

 

Jongin leaned close to my ear and muttered, “Here goes another round of arguments with these two.” I chuckled and watched in amusement as a squabble started arising between Sehun and Hani who were still like cat and dog despite being married for many years.

 

“Some things just don’t change at all.” I muttered back to him.

 

He kissed my forehead and beamed. “Right, just like us.”

 

I heaved a smile at him and watched as he bent down to kiss the temple of the sleeping four year old boy in my arms. The said boy stirred and smiled cutely in his sleep after Jongin pulled away but still didn’t wake up. Just the usual heavy sleeper he is.

 

Jongin chuckled at the sight and said, “How can this boy seriously sleep so well at a place like this?” He wandered his eyes around in amusement and then looked back at me.

 

I nudged his side teasingly and snorted. “Of course, it’s because he got the sleeping habits from you.” He made a face at me when I told him that, but eventually released a small smile—telling that he’s still proud this son of his still got something from him.

 

“I’m just glad Jaejoon’s less hyper than the twins or else I wouldn’t be able to catch up fast to him if he ever tries running around.” I uttered out as I looked down at the sleeping Jaejoon and his hair.

 

Jongin chuckled beside me and hauled us both closer to him by an arm he fixed around me. “I think he inherited more from you this time than the twins, that’s why. Jaejoon loves to play quietly by himself or be read by story books almost all the time.” He leaned his head over mine and started drawing patterns with his fingers on my arm. “He’s so like you. And I’m just glad heaven heard it when I asked for a less hyper child. That way, my wife wouldn’t have it hard.”

 

I giggled at what he said and nudged his side again. “Even though he got many of my traits… still his sleeping habits…”

 

“Don’t have to rub it in, you know.” He said gruffly when I had ignored what he said and instead tried teasing him some more. “I know I am a heavy sleeper by heart but—“

 

I surprised him with a kiss on his cheek just to shut him up. And when he finally looked back at me, beaming while touching the spot I had placed a kiss on, I smiled at him again adoringly and looked into his dark brown eyes as I said, “Thank you for being such a caring husband and wonderful father to our kids.”

 

He smiled back warmly and held onto the side of my face as he uttered back, “Shouldn’t it be me thanking you for giving me everything?” I breathed out a smile when I heard that from him, and in the occasion that he had leaned down and gave me a tender kiss on my lips had I silently thanked heaven for giving me this day too, to spend with him like this.

 

“Thank you for coming to our concert! Merry Christmas!”

 

“See you again next time!”

 

“Happy holidays everyone!”

 

Hearing the voices of those guys again, it was the only time Jongin and I went back to watching what was happening in the concert. Apparently, the four had already finished giving out their messages to the fans and were now saying their goodbyes. We weren’t able to hear whatever they said before since we were too into our own world, but just pretended to have had entirely watched and was delighted by the show when we stood up to give them rounds of applauses. We gave each other looks and laughed when the others didn’t even notice us not paying attention at all to the concert this time (since they always caught us in the other concerts we went to and got reprimanded for it).

 

Wrapping up with the concert, we waited till the fans have all gone out and the four boys who just finished with their concert were all done greeting the concert goers who still waited to see them by the parking lot. Xiumin’s little girl, Minji, and Jaejoon were in the middle of our circle dancing and entertaining their uncles when the soloists joined us and watched in amusement of the two. Najoo, who was more than excited to finally have her favorite uncle to herself, jumped down from Kris’ arms and rushed to Baekhyun’s side. On the other hand, Haejoon who has been playing with Tao, rushed to greet his other three uncles to welcome them.

 

“Aren’t my Najoo growing up so beautifully like her mother?” Baekhyun had mused, ruffling the said girl’s hair as he crouched down to her height.

 

“Uncle, really!... eomma is still prettier though.” Najoo had politely denied while having that usual flustered look on her face whenever the guys would throw compliments at her.

 

Baekhyun spared me a glance and smiled. “Would you agree to what she said?” He asked me, Najoo turns her head in my direction too with a proud smile.

 

However, I shook my head and returned a meek smile at her. “Ani. Najoo’s still the prettiest in our family.” At that, Najoo ran to my side and hugged me on my middle. She nuzzled her face on my shirt while I caressed her hair in affection.

 

“She will always be the most beautiful in my eyes.” I uttered out, crinkling my eyes happily at my little girl when she looked up at me with those dark brown orbs both her and Haejoon had inherited from their father.

 

“Eomma!” Haejoon joined the hug. “How could you guys leave me out on this?!” He jutted his lower lip cutely at me and tightened his hold around my waist.

 

“Ya! Haejoon-ah, stop hogging eomma and I! We can’t breathe!” Najoo chided as she shoved on her brother’s face.

 

Retaliating back, Haejoon shoved his sister on her shoulder and said, “I wasn’t! And besides why can’t you even call me your oppa. I’m born 12—“

 

“You’re born 12 seconds earlier and so you’re older than me?” Najoo pulled away and crossed her arms over her chest as she scoffed at her twin. Here goes another argument. “I will never call you oppa because you don’t deserve it! And what makes you think that much time difference will—“

 

“Ya. Ya. Ya. Why is it that I hear you two arguing again?” Jongin appeared at their side, going in the middle of the two as he always did to get them to reconcile whenever they get in an argument—which is almost always.

 

Najoo frowned as she glared at his brother and said to her father, “He started it!” she pointed accusingly to her brother who frowned immediately at the accusation. “He—he was coming out of somewhere telling us that—“

 

“But you said I was hogging you and eomma when I am not!” Haejoon started arguing again.

 

“You were!” Najoo pressed, annoyed.

 

“I wasn’t!” Haejoon spat back, almost attacking his sister, we’re just lucky Jongin was keeping them away from each other. I hauled Haejoon closer to me and signaled Jongin to get Najoo too. He agreed with a nod and pulled Najoo to him.

 

Facing my son, I said, “”Haejoon-ah. You can’t always argue with your sister. Do you understand?” He pouted at this and looked down in guilt. “Instead, aren’t you suppose to take care of her because she’s a girl? Girls should be protected, aren’t they? Besides, you are twins. You should understand each other the most.” I gave him a look that made him look already apologetic for arguing with his twin.

 

“But she’s always the one picking on me.” He muttered out. “And it’s annoying that she doesn’t even call me oppa when I’m older.”

 

At this, I breathed out a smile and touched his cheeks fondly. “Is that why you’re often mad at her?” He nodded.

 

“Najoo always does what she wants too and I hate it when she doesn’t listen to me like a younger sister should. She’s so bossy.” He confessed again and rolled his eyes at somewhere behind me. “At least Jaejoonnie listens to me well. My little brother is far better and nicer.” He smiled earnestly at the thought. “I wish my twin’s just a brother like him… Eomma, how can you give birth to that brat?!” He whined while scratching his head in annoyance.

 

I chuckled at him throwing a tantrum. “Listen Haejoon-ah.” I placed my hand at the small of his back and smiled when he came to attention so fast like the good child he is. “She’s your sister and just like you she’s a wonderful person too since she came from appa and eomma. She may be a little too much sometimes, but you should be the one understanding her the most, okay? You’re twins and you’re her older brother so instead of arguing with her, be patient and take care of her like how you take care of Jaejoonnie, arasso?” I looked at him inquiringly, and he nodded albeit reluctantly.

 

Patting his head to reward him for listening well, I added, “Don’t worry. Eomma will also talk to her, okay? But I’m sure appa’s already doing his job and is also talking to her about this. You will eventually get along as you two grow up. Just be more patient, okay?”

 

He contemplated as he pressed his lips to a thin line, but nonetheless nodded in assurance. “I will try.”

 

I leaned close to kiss his forehead and smiled. “Good.”

 

Looking back at Jongin and Najoo’s direction, the girl was already walking towards us with her eyes a bit teary. She threw her arms around Haejoon, who startled at the sudden action of his sister but smiled when he heard her apologize. “M-mianhe, H-Haejoon oppa. Appa told me that you’re just always mad because I don’t want to call you oppa. I didn’t know. I’m sorry. And for being such a brat… I’m just… just…” She pulled away as she started tearing up.

 

Haejoon smiled affectionately at his twin and started wiping Najoo’s tears with his sleeve like what he would always do whenever he saw her crying. “Oppa’s forgiven you already. I’m sorry too for being impatient. I should have been more understanding of my twin.”

 

Najoo wailed louder as she hugged her brother again. Soon, the others crowded around us and smiled at the affection the twins were finally showing each other. Jaejoon who was in Luhan’s arms giggled at the sight of his siblings, but sooner buried his face in the crook of his uncle’s neck as if not wanting to see his sister crying.

 

“How’s the drama going?” Tao chirped as he tiptoed behind Chanyeol and Kris. The two nudged his stomach in chiding.

 

“You always pick the wrong time to joke, Tao. Not even funny.” Kris scolded. Tao frowned.

 

“Be a little more decent.” Chanyeol scoffed at him. “That’s why your former girlfriend left you.”

 

Tao frowned deeper, feeling dejected with the two’s remarks. “H-how could you guys bring up my love life in this?!” He complained as he made big hand movements in the air to show his point.

 

We all shifted our attention at him, surprised of his sudden outburst, and before we knew it, we were already chuckling because of him pulling such a grim face as he sulked at a corner. “Sometimes I don’t understand why you keep scolding me. Am I still even a child to get a nagging?! Wae? Wae?” He muttered to himself while sniffing and flailing his arms in the air shamelessly as if no one can see him.

 

“Com’on guys.” Suho mused, “Actually we do have better plans than watching Tao act like he’s still shooting his drama.”

 

This made Tao turn his head to Suho, making sure to dig holes through his head as he watched the said guy open his car. “I wasn’t even acting you cruel CEO!”

 

“Weren’t you?” Yixing mused, slowly following after Suho.

 

“Tao, by the way, I heard that!” Suho smugly hollered over to the said guy. “Just to let you know, I’m going to cut your salary to half for talking disrespectfully about me behind my back!” He grinned victoriously when he saw the troubled look on Tao’s face.

 

“Ya! CEO-nim, I-I was just kidding you know!” He hurriedly rushed to Suho’s side and begged him for his career’s dear life. We all chuckled as soon as we saw him already pulling an aegyo face in front of our CEO but didn’t get the chance to win back Suho’s favor.

 

“Ya! Someone help me here!” Tao whined in frustration while stomping his feet on the ground like a five year old on tantrums.

 

“Get in your cars guys before Tao pulls you to join him to the dark side.” Xiumin deadpanned, gesturing for us to ride our cars and ignored Tao who is still in front of Suho’s car.

 

“YA! WHY ARE YOU ALL LEAVING ME HERE?!” Tao cried. “And you, Kris Wu! Aren’t we leaving in the same car?! Ya! Wait for me!” Giving up on Suho, he trotted towards Kris’ car while spouting curses at how badly we keep on treating him.

 

We all shook our heads at his childishness despite being already in his 30s, and went into our own cars. Jongin set the kids at the back seat, placing Jaejoon in between the twins so they could look after him better. “Let’s fasten your seatbelts, shall we?” He asked them as he pulled on the seatbelt at the side to tuck Jaejoon first.

 

“Ne!” The trio shouted in unison before giggling, while I settle myself at the passenger’s seat waiting for Jongin.

 

When he was done attending to the kids’ needs, he rushed to the driver’s seat and started the engine. “You guys, sure you’re all alright?” Jongin looked back at the kids, and when he saw them nodding, shifted his attention to me and clasped his hand around mine.

 

I smiled and squeezed his hand back. “You’re supposed to drive us home, not stare at me.” I mused, making him chuckle.

 

“Right.” He retorted whilst shaking his head, soon pulling out of his parking spot. “Sorry about that. You always are a beautiful distraction that I couldn’t take my eyes off you for too long.” He beamed before kissing the back of my hand that was in his, affectionately.

 

I smiled, finding my heart still skipping a beat at his sweet words. “Well, you better learn how to not get distracted because of me.”

 

He looked back briefly at me and said, “You think that’s possible? I’m betting it will take me forever to learn how to do that.”

 

I chuckled at his statement and playfully slapped his arm. “Then just live with it forever. Of me always being your distraction.”

 

He lifted our entwined hands again and kissed the back of mine again. “Worry not because I will certainly do that.”

 

“You’re still the cheesiest, aren’t you?” I teased whilst smiling widely at him in amusement and shame.

 

He beamed an equally huge smile and replied, “And you love me for being one, right?” I pouted with what he said, but ended up nodding in agreement.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“But Mr. Kim, make sure to drive us safely home. Stop looking so often at me.” I commanded when he kept looking back at me to smile so mushily that I could melt on the spot if I stare for too long at him. “Com’on, we have kids to take care of. Stop showing them this side of you. It’s too uncool. Look how grossed out Haejoon already is.” I pointed at Haejoon at the backseat who was observing his father with furrowed eyebrows. Jaejoon, who was in the middle, covered his eyes with his small hands whilst giggling when he noticed Jongin peeking at them.

 

“Dada, don’t look!” Jaejoon uttered out in gibberish toddler’s language.

 

“Wae Jaejoon-ah?” Jongin talked to the toddler as we stopped at an intersection when the stoplight blinked red. “Are you embarrassed of appa too, just like how hyung is?”

 

Jaejoon uncovered his eyes and shyly peeked at his father before nodding in response, his hair bouncing off cutely as he did. Jongin chuckled heartily at this and ruffled his youngest son’s hair before telling him how he only does what he did because he wanted to show me and them how much he loves us. Jaejoon bobbed his head in understanding before meekly smiling at his father again. The father and son interaction didn’t go unnoticed by me, because it was picture perfect, was so cute that I found myself wishing in my head to be able to record it and play it over and over not just in memory.

 

Pulling away from his son, and looking back at me, Jongin blinked many times as he noticed me actually holding my phone in my hands and directing the camera on his face. “Ya, stop recording Mrs. Kim. The show’s already over.” He mused, trying to put down the device when I tried to film him again—which I did a lot nowadays (filming my family just became a habit, especially when they are being cute).

 

I stopped recording and stuffed my phone back into my coat’s pocket before beaming at him. “Sorry, just couldn’t help it.” I shrugged and he just shook his