I don't really get why do I have to be here. Sitting across someone I never expected to ever be spending my time with, in a cafe, in an early morning, in front of her tea and my latte. She has been holding her cup since five minutes ago but she hasn't said anything at all, and here I am waiting for her to enlighten me as to why she had called me at an early 7 in the morning, rushed me to come when I haven't taken a bath yet, only to keep her silence still.

I sighed as I saw her look at me briefly and then shift her gaze back to her cup when she noticed me boring holes on her already for staying mute for quite a while now. I have to be somewhere later and yet she’s just stalling me for nothing like this.

With a scratch of my temple, I did the job of breaking the silence. “Talk now, Haera-ssi.”

She slightly flinched when she heard my voice, and she blinked at me a couple of times before finally releasing the breath she must have been holding for so long. “I—“

“Before anything else, why did you even have my number?” I asked, cutting her off, as I raised a suspicious brow at her and leaned closer with my arms folded on the table.

She bit her lip and sighed again. “I have my own ways. Don’t ask how or who I got it from because that’s not the point of why I wanted to meet up with you.” She jabbered out in one go, her fierceness flying back to her. Finally.

“Fine.” I sat back, trying to match her intimidating aura as I crossed my arms. “Then what’s the point of this meeting?”

For the first time, she pulled her hands away from her cup of tea and leaned back, her lazy eyes trailing to me as she surveyed my face and scrunched her brows as if she was scrutinizing me. “What did Kai even see in a plain looking girl like you? I don’t really get it.” She shook her and continued silently judging me.

I want to kick her on the shin right there and then, but then I’m not a violent girl. I hate violence of all things, I just can’t restrain myself sometimes. “Okay, so is that it?” I mocked, trying to keep my calm.

“Nu-uh.” She chirped and then suddenly propped her elbow on the table and rested her chin on her palm. “I was just trying to figure out what someone as handsome as the player Kai liked in you, but then I don’t still get it so let me go straight to the point of this meeting.” She victoriously uttered out before flipping her hair back as a few eyes gazed our way. Such a flirt.

“I just want to know why you haven’t gotten back with Kai yet when I have obviously ditched him for his friend, Tao?” She questioned, boldly stating her admiration for our Panda. I couldn’t help but feel like she was mocking me that moment that I snorted and narrowed my eyes at her.

“You’re saying that after all that you did? You think it’s that easy?” I questioned her, and that moment she looked down on her lap, her eyebrows furrowed furiously as I saw guilt in her eyes. Guilt that she couldn’t show me.

“Look, I’m sorry but I’m not sorry. I know I did something unimaginable to the both of you but I just couldn’t blame myself. I was just so in love with him that I was able to do that. You know that I have been chasing him since middle school, right?” She asked me but I only remained staring at her, urging her to continue with her excuses.

“I chased him like an idiot, thinking that I’d get a chance with him when my dad finally allowed me to go back to Korea for a while. I’ve prepared for so long for when I will meet him after 3 years, and when I saw him after enrolling as an exchange student in Seoul High my feelings just got the best of me. I chased after him again but when I saw you and realized you were his girlfriend I just lost it. I was jealous. To think he would be as bold to tell it right on my face that he’s willing to marry and spend his ing life with you like that, didn’t you think I got also hurt too?” She asked me with a raised tone as she pointed to herself demandingly, urging me to look at her but I can’t face her, so I just continued to remain silent, still finding it hard in me to accept all that she was telling me.

She sighed loudly seeing no response from me but still continued, “I’ve liked him longer than you do. Like 5 or 6 years since then?!” She uttered out more to herself, “So, I just couldn’t accept it that the playboy Kai that I know suddenly fell for someone. Much more to someone who doesn’t seem like one he would actually date. I mean, you’re too simple. Plain. Not rich. You’re not curvy and more like scary thin!” I felt my insides twist after hearing her just insult me. How come I couldn’t stand someone like her to insult me like that? I honestly don’t care about the insults before but hearing her say those ugly stuff about me just made me feel somewhat unworthy. Was I not that fit to be with Jongin?

“But the thing I was much frustrated about when I saw him again is the way he changed. It’s as if I was seeing another person. Another Kai. I was a bit disappointed that I felt like he wasn’t the guy I knew before. Easy with girls. Sweet talker. Party monster. In short, he was a complete jerk before. And it’s that jerk that I had known and loved. It somehow hurt me to see him change because I felt more distant to him now than before because of that. It made me feel hopeless.” She told me, her shoulders deflating as the sullen feeling got into her.

“Maybe that change in his is what drove me to want to get rid of you. I thought that if I planned a way to get you out of his life that he’d go back to his old self and realize that I have been there all along for him, loving him as who he was. And maybe after that, he would love me back and forget about you—“

“Is that why you had me followed around, hired someone to catch my every move, and show him those meaningless pictures?!” I snapped at her as I already reached my limit. Hearing her say all those things reopened the wound in my heart, letting it ache of hurt, bringing back those bad memories from one month ago.

Her eyes trembled after hearing me raise my voice. She had heard none from me all this time and now I am talking as if there’s no tomorrow. Maybe that’s why she looked so taken aback. But the minute of stillness in her dissipated as quickly as she felt it first. She returned back her composure and cleared and smirked.

“Yes, I did that.” She boasted as she raised an arrogant brow at me. “I did that, taunted him about you cheating on him, and made him believe that he trusted the wrong girl because you’re such a liar around with so many guys.” She sipped on her tea as she lifted her cup to her lips while directly gazing in my direction.

When she had placed down her cup on its coaster, she smiled sweetly at me, but I still saw it as a venomous curving up than a genuine gesture from her. She’s got a grudge at me, anyway.

“You being close to many guys made it so easy for me to shake him up, you know that?” She said, her smile unfading.

“But you know what’s more interesting than that?” She leaned even closer to me this time, but I didn’t budge and just glared at her. She reeled back and snickered to herself when she got no response from me.

“The funny thing was that he still defended you from me even if I showed him all those stupid pictures.” She said, her eyes gazing back at me to check for any reactions, “Remember that day you saw us bickering in front of his house? That was when it happened. He told me he doesn’t believe anything he saw in the pictures and told me that I shouldn’t tell him what to do when I urged him to break up with you. He kept denying it to himself even if he can’t hide the fact that he actually considered what I was telling him about you. Until that day came we saw you and your friend hugging and everything just blew up. .” She laughed to herself in undertone mockery with what happened.

I wanted to slap her for laughing about a very serious thing that happened, and led to Jongin losing his trust in me and I breaking up with him. It wasn’t even funny. It was in fact the ugliest memory I will ever have. Something I still carry with me up to this day. I somehow can’t forgive myself for being so honest to him that time that I must have hurt him, and I just can’t simply let it go. Because even if I was freed from all my lies, I managed to hurt the person I love so much with the truth.

If that’s even a laughing matter for someone like her, I don’t even know what I could have done to her if we’re not just in a public place. I will really forget that I hate violence because of her.

“It really . That day .” She uttered out, her face contorting to a serious one, pulling me back to our reality.

“It did for you?” I mocked, thinking how it could have been like that for her when she just witnessed what she had been wishing for at that time. Us, breaking up.

“Yes, it for me since that day.” She answered with a stern voice, her eyes still on me. Amusement was long gone on her face.

“Because when you left him standing at the side of the road that day, he cried like hell. I never saw Kai cry like that in the years I’ve known him. In fact, he never cried for anyone at all. And when I saw it unfold in front of me, everything went crashing down. It broke my heart to see him that hurt. But what’s worse than that is the way he looked at me with hatred in his eyes when I tried to comfort him. Have you ever realized how that felt?” She broke out carefully.

I pondered over her words. Over and over. Because it shocked me to know that Jongin actually cried because of me. He was in pain as I was. He must have experienced the same thing as I did. Perhaps he must still be feeling all the ache until now even if we’re somehow okay.

“He truly loves you.” I couldn’t believe when I heard that come from Haera. Her, admitting that the guy she chased for so long loves me and not her. It must have hurt her pride but she chose to say it to me.

“You don’t have to tell me that.” I uttered out with a stern voice as I already had enough.

“Honestly, I think I need to remind you that.” She rolled her eyes at me and then scoffed bitterly. “I know you’re thinking that I’m so pathetic right now to be talking to my ex-rival but I’m not going to leave you alone not unless I say this…” She breathed out loudly as her grip on her cup came back and tightened around it.

“Get back together with him.” She drawled out before lifting her cup and sipping again on her probably cold tea.

“Mwo?” I uttered out in disbelief.

“I’m telling you to get back together with him.” She repeated, instantly irritated as she has to repeat her words when it was obvious I had heard her and was just denying that fact. “Because trust me, he may look okay to you now but deep inside I know he’s such a hell of a wreck.”

My heart sunk when I heard her tell that. It’s true. It must be true that Jongin still actually feels broken. Perhaps more broken than I am after everything he heard that slipped from my mouth. He may be smiling and laughing in front of us, but I know he’s just fragile as I am. We’re two people who are sharing the same pain. Two people who have hurt each other. And I know the only way to mend both our hearts is our love for each other.

But then is it that easy to go back to how it used to be before?

I’m scared to know.

“And what about you?” I bl