I didn’t think that meeting him would quickly return me back to the memories of the past; the good ones of course, and not the last part where he finally dumped me, and that I would actually still feel my heart flutter just after seeing him at a mere five feet distance. He’s still breathtaking as ever that I almost found myself forgetting how to breathe. He was my first love, and yet even if days had passed like I haven’t seen him at all, I’m still in love with him.

Oh, how ironic that seems, but it’s true. I’m still in love with the boy named Baekhyun.

Baekhyun still looks the same, just that he must have probably dyed his hair wine red, because the last time we were about this close, he still had it jet black. I wonder what more really changed in him, besides his hair. Or how is he after so long. I never really had the chance to listen to others’ gossips about him because I shunned myself from hearing about it, so I don’t really know anything besides that he’s still dating Soojung.

Putting his hands inside his pockets, his eyes that somehow softened, and his lips that curved up a bit, made me happy inwardly.  It may not mean much, but those small gestures still meant a lot to me. His adorable smile. His twinkling eyes. His corny jokes. His touch. And just his mere presence makes me smile.

“This is a first after a long time… annyeong?!” He uttered out, being the last part more like of a question as he waved his hand a bit in the air to me.

I instinctively clutched on the hem of my blouse and averted my eyes as I felt uneasy and subtly giddy all together after he talked to me. And instead of an answer all I did was to step back when I saw him peer at my face and took a step forward.

“W-what are you doing here?” I asked with an unsure soft voice as I continued to look away.

He chuckled a bit and continued to take steps closer to me until we were just a feet away from each other. His smiled faded and his expression turned blank as he pulled out his hands from his pockets and he tried to touch me, but I just happen to curl my hands on my sides and looked down in fright that this might be the time when  he’s actually going to harass me too, just like his friends did.

“Why are you suddenly so scared?” His voice sounded lonely.

My head shot up and my eyes started to fill with confusion when I saw his sullen expression as he stared back at me with a sympathetic look. Why? Why does his expression turned like that? Why isn’t he hitting me or saying rude comments like the rest? I don’t understand at all. There’s really something wrong about him. Or is it just me? I’m probably the one with the problem for thinking that all the people in school can actually hurt me, including him. For a second, I forgot that he was actually sparing me. Or was I spared from him because I was avoiding him?

“If you think I would hurt you, then you are wrong.” He sighed loudly and pushed his hands back inside his pockets.

I gulped as relief overcame me. But I also had my lips frowning as I looked down because I feel bad that I doubted him.

“I’m sorry.” Was all I afforded to say as I finally had the courage to look at him, albeit I was shy.

Hearing that, a smile spread on his lips and he suddenly reached for my head and ruffled my hair gently. “It’s alright. You don’t really have to say that.”

I nodded my head shyly in response to tell him that I took note of what he said, and looked down again whilst fiddling with my hands.

“Oh?” I heard him exclaim, and then he just suddenly kneeled down with his left and got something from his pocket. I didn’t really know what he was going to do, but when a plaster happen to be fished out from inside his pocket, I was even more confused. He his lips as he ripped away the thin paper covering the adhesive side of it and slowly leaned closer to carefully put it on my knee… which I didn’t even noticed to be scraped from the fall I had in the hallway.

“There.” He said as he admired his work, and pressed on the plasters edges to flatten it against my skin. I flinched when I felt the wound sting a little, and Baekhyun looked a little anxious as I retracted back my leg out of reflex.

“Sorry about that. I was just too absorbed in what I was doing.” He explained and stood up whilst dusting his pants off with dirt.

I didn’t say anything, because I was watching his every move unknowingly. Just when he looked back at me that I blinked a couple of times and pretended that I was rubbing my eyes off with dirt that went through it as the warm, soiled air blew.

“Let me see.” He offered as he moved even closer.

“No… don’t!” I told him in warning, as I wandered my eyes around to check whether people are around. Getting him into trouble would be the least that I want. So I can’t just easily accept his kindness, even though this moment is what I have always been waiting for.

My happiness can never be first, if Baekhyun would just be put in the same boat as me. Because besides my own happiness, there is my everything. Baekhyun is my everything.

He knowingly retreated back again and scratched the back of his head in annoyance as he sighed loudly. I guess he fully understood what I meant.

“I’ll be going then.” Was the last thing he said before turning around and walking off.

I watched as his figure slowly started to become smaller. It hasn’t been a minute, but I am already starting to miss him, knowing that it wouldn’t be certain when I would even be able to get a chance to have an encounter like that with him again. Questions started to swirl inside my head as I pictured again the things that happened. I wonder why he suddenly became friendly. Why he even took the chance to put plaster on my knee. And acted as if nothing was wrong at all.

I wanted to ask, but my tongue was tied. I honestly couldn’t find the courage to speak to him for unknown reasons. And just like how I let him go away in the past so easily, today, it’s the same for me again. I only watched him as he disappeared.

Classes went on like the usual.  Occasional pranks were thrown at me along the way, but I just ignore them since my mind is still filled with thoughts about Baekhyun. I still find it weird how he happened to be in the same place as me. It can be that it was coincidental, but it can also be that he saw me beforehand and just followed me. And if I were to pick among the two, how I wish it’s the latter, because if it is, then it just means something—that he still cares for me.

The bell rang at exactly 10 in the morning, in time for the first break. I’m not really fond of breaks ever since Kai came in the picture, but it was better than attending Math and History, since I really hate those subjects. My classmates are always the first to scurry off from the classroom all the time. They are just like hyena’s ready to devour on the cafeteria’s menu for the day, that I always stay behind, and come out last. When they have finally dispersed, it would be my turn to come out. But I don’t usually come to the cafeteria since the evil gang always eat their meal on a special table meant for kids like them inside. I always bring my own meal so I won’t have to buy either, and I would always hide at the abandoned club room in the old building to have a peaceful time to eat.

Walking along the corridors, I would occasionally meet cold stares from different group of kids that just hangs around to play. The jocks would often be by the lockers, along with the popular nasty brats like Kai’s.  The basketball team would always be hanging around by the tables near the field, while the soccer players would either be by the bleachers in the field. The cheerleaders would often be seen in the comfort rooms splattering their faces with too much make up, or just seen hanging out with their popular boyfriends—well you know what kind of hang out I meant. The kids in the Music Club would often be in the club room practicing—they aren’t usually loitering around so it’s really rare to see them fooling with friends. The Geeks as the nerds are called, usually hang out in the library, so I really don’t see them often too.

It would have been nice if I had the chance to find a group of my own to hang out,