With every drop of the rain, I stood still on the soaked earth under my soles as I stared at the fragile looking boy sitting in front of our house. His head was hung low as he stared blankly at nothing in particular on the ground. His hands were resting on his knees, one holding his phone that had already been wet by the rain. His face broke my heart the moment I saw it—he was sporting a fresh cut on his lips, the side of his face bruised. 

I want to badly hold him in my arms, but I am scared that he would just run away if I ask him what happened. The rain had already soaked me, and I was cold, but I feel more worried about him who waited for me under the rain. The person I had been looking for—Kai. My eyes never left his broken figure, and I saw how pained he looked. He was far from the Kai that was cocky, that was arrogant, that was proud, that was cold. All I can see is nothing but a helpless looking child. 

What should I do now? I did everything to find him and yet here I am cowering at the sight of him. How do I begin? How should I talk to him and say all that I wanted to say? Should I tell him directly how worried I was? How I missed him so much? Should I ignore him? Leave him alone? Should I hug him? 

How can I even make this guy trust me?

I slowly took steps towards him. One at a time, as slow as I can as I was afraid to scare him, and at the same time nervous to be finally getting this close again to him. I halted a feet away from him, my shadow casting below, making him trail his eyes slowly from my feet to my face. His eyes widened as our gazes locked, and his bruised lip somehow curved up to an almost inconceivable smile.

"Nana." He uttered my name the same way like any other people would, yet he was the only one who made it sound so endearing to me.

I forced myself to look not too affected of his presence, curled my hands on my sides to stop myself from getting too emotional over such a trivial thing. 

"W-why are you here?" I asked him with a stern voice.

His brows furrowed at the tone I used, and he looked down whilst saying "I need you." inconceivably.

I dug my fingers on my palm and bit my lip to restrain myself from even wanting to hug him that instant. "Need me? How come you're turning back to me now after telling me to not meddle with your issues? Didn't you know how pathetic I felt after hearing that from you?!" 

He slowly rose up from his sitting position when he saw how angered I was. "I-I'm so sorry." 

"Sorry?!" I didn't really want to snap at him, but settling this with just comforting hugs and words won't do. I need to make him say his true feelings. I need to see the true Kai. 

"Are you even sincerely sorry whenever you say that?! Do you even consider what would I feel whenever you push me away after making me feel too special?! Why are you even playing with my feelings?! Why?" I asked him with a faltering voice as I started to cry with the rain.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I started hitting his chest, but he only remained looking at me with weary eyes and an unreadable face.

"Why do you keep on hurting me?" But that one cry of pain made his hand travel to mine which was hitting him, making me stop. I was stunned by his action, but my cries already drowned me in my pool of emotions that I couldn't order my body to pull away from him.

And in one swift move, I was pulled by him towards his chest. His arms engulfed me into a warm embrace under the cold pouring rain. "I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry." He whispered close to my ear repeatedly with a trembling voice, but I only managed to cry.

"I'm sorry for hurting you, for making you cry." He told me again, his voice almost a cry. "You don't have any idea how hurt I am every time I do something to cause you pain." 

My eyes widened at the fact that Kai just uttered that out. And I abruptly pulled away from him in an instant as confusion and that fuzzy feeling filled me. "W-why are you saying that? Y-you hate me, right?" I stared at his face, particularly his eyes that were already red and swollen.

His hands dropped to his sides as his face fell. He looked like he was in so much pain, but not because of the bruises he had obtained. It was an emotional kind of pain. "No, I don't hate you. And I never did. Not even once." He told me, his voice almost a whisper, and yet I managed to hear him clearly despite the heavy downfall.

"I never ever once hated you. Believe me." He repeated, though he wasn't still looking at me.

"Really?!" I asked him, spite masking my voice. "Then how do you explain everything about the bullying? How was those days spent with you relentlessly harassing me if you didn't hate me?!"

His head shot up as I raised my tone at him. "I-I was wrong to start the fire. I didn't really intend to hurt you. I swear. It's just that at those times my mind's in such a tangled mess, and things escalated too fast that I wasn't able to stop it. They started hurting you, and I didn't really know how grave they were doing towards you, that I didn't meddle and delved too much into it. I thought you were just okay... because you... you never showed weakness—"

I clapped a hand over my mouth as I started to hear myself whimper at what I was hearing. The truth sounds more hurtful with it coming from his mouth and yet I can't get mad at him at all. I wasn't mad because I know I will understand him despite all that had happened between us before. And at the same time, a part of me was getting too emotional at the fact that he's finally speaking with his heart.

"You're such a good girl." His words struck me, "You're so kind, so patient, so strong because you endured everything alone. You had no one