Once, I found love and believed that it will last. I thought it would be mine until forever because I was the one who found it. Finders keepers, as they say. Maybe, I was too stupid and too immature then that I didn't understand that whether I found it was important or not. Yet, I was the bitter girl to not let go of it so easily, even though the idea of not being loved back was crashing down on me. But when everything went down the drain, I decided to just forget.

Finding love is not important.

And when love found me, I certainly started to doubt not just myself, but also love itself. Is it even worth it? Should I have faith that falling down with that person is okay? Won't this love be just similar to the kind of love I had found? Is it just okay for me to love and not worry about anything else? Clearly, the second chance, I am not so confident, because I had learned. I am not that stupid and immature anymore for me to just jump into the pit hole of love without thinking of the consequences.

Love found me, and is that important?

I had loved, and I was loved. But which is more important? To love or to be loved?

People tend to ponder so much about choosing between the two answers, yet when they choose either of the two, they tend to regret it in the end. You know why? It's because they thought they could play love with one person only doing everything when it's a two player game. It's just like asking someone whether he would save his mother or his wife when they drown, when in fact he can actually choose to save both.

Which is more important? To love or to be loved? 

I would say, Both.

One cannot make a relationship last if either of you won't do your part. If one of you doesn't want to compromise. Or if one of you doesn't really want it. 

Is finding love or being found by love, important? 

For me, not really.

Because whether it found you or you found it, that won't really matter in the relationship. What will matter is whether you will bravely allow yourself to fall in love and never be afraid to let it grow in you. Love is certainly the most uncertain and undefinable feeling in the world. It's complicated more than what we think. But at the same time, it's the feeling that matters the most.

Love.

How do you know when it's worth it?

To me, it's when someone makes me the happiest person and the saddest person at the same time. To me, that's when it's real. That's when it's worth something.

That's how Kai changed my view on love. That's how I chose to be with him.

That's why we're here. 

Looking at him sitting on a bench from afar, his back to me, I still wonder how the mere fact that I can watch him from here makes my heart easily flutter. What is it about him that makes every inch of me feel that different kind of spark just by the sight of him? I really don't know what. Maybe, the fact that my love for him already grew inside of me, made me react differently when it's about Kai. It's perhaps bigger than before that sometimes it terrifies me how I would do so much for him.

I jogged going to where he was with a smile on my lips, trying to look as fine as I can for him. To ease him from his worries. And when I reached him, he didn't look up to me even if he has already noticed my shoes from where he was staring on the ground. I made sure I would be visible in his line of sight, but what would I expect from him when he already has a lot in mind? Pay attention to me? That's probably the least of his concerns, yet I feel my heart throb a little in pain no matter how I try to ignore the unpleasant feeling.

"I'm back!" I announced with happiness in my voice. That's when his head shot up to me, and I saw how his eyes rounded, and he looked so apologetic. Maybe he realized that he had just ignored me.

"Oh... have a seat then." He offered as he scrambled anxiously to the side of the bench.

I smiled at him and sat a few inches away from him to give space for the thing that I bought for him.

"What is that?" He asked me with furrowed eyebrows as he looked at the plastic bag on the space between us.

I fished out from the plastic the large container of the best stress reliever I know. "Tada! Chocolate ice cream my dear!" I chuckled giddily, but he only scrunched up his nose and pursed his lips.

"W-what are you going to do with that?" He asked again and looked at me incredulously.

I knocked his head lightly and said, " Eat it, of course! What else is there to do with it?"

He scrunched his nose again and muttered silent curses to himself. "I know... but—"

"This is what I do when I feel too burdened. You know, sweets and something cold do magic to stressed people. That has scientific basis too! And it works!" I beamed at him with a sheepish grin while opening the ice cream container.

"I know..." He said with irritation evident in his voice, "but don't you think that's too girly for me? Girls only do that right?"

I had a plastic spoon in one hand that I used to scoop ice cream from the container and shoved in his mouth with an irritated look on my face, "Too girly? Then sorry if this is the best I can mister!" I scoffed and left the spoon in his mouth before putting the ice cream on my other side, my back facing him, and I started to eat on my own.

"Yah! I-I'm sorry. I didn't intend to offend you." He breathed out as he hugged my waist from the back and rested his chin on my shoulder. "Truth is, the mere fact that you're trying to cheer me up makes me already happy." He confessed before placing a soft kiss on my shoulder.

"Is that true?" I asked, trying to suppress a smile.

I felt him nod on my shoulder, and so I turned my head to look at him. When our gazes met, his face was just inches from mine, that it sent tingles on my skin. He smiled at me, and before I knew it, he had his lips pressed against mine into one sweet kiss. I smiled against his lips and closed my eyes until he has to pull away. When I opened my eyes again, he was looking at me while his lips.

"The ice cream tastes better from your lips." He teased and grinned, making my cheeks flush into a different color.

"Yah!" I scolded him as I turned to his side and slapped his arm harshly.

"Oww." He groaned as he massaged the part I had hit. "That hurts, I swear! I just told you the truth! Is that so bad?!" He complained as he pouted at me while still massaging his arm.

I was a bit annoyed that he was making me feel so flustered, but then this is Kai we're talking about! I won't be able to resist his charm no matter how playful he gets. I sighed in defeat, and he just chuckled in victory before pulling me closer to him and ruffling my hair to console my poor heart.

"Now, now, how about I help you eat that gallon ice cream you have there?" He asked me, and that made my lips instantly curve upwards.

I placed the ice cream back in between us and he started digging in too. He was looking at the afternoon view of Han River as he scoops and tastes the ice cream in his mouth with a content smile, and that made me feel happy. Just the thought that we are back in this place where he brought me for my birthday, sitting on the same bench, while eating ice cream made everything seem so perfect, even if we came for another reason today. It's like another date... well, even if he never told me that any of our outings were.

"I'm sorry that we got here earlier than expected." He uttered out while giving me an apologetic look.

I was confused. "Hmmm?"

He sighed and averted his gaze away from me. "This is the place I wanted to bring you to, tonight. But because of what happened, we came here earlier." He says with a sullen voice.

"Ah." I blushed as I remembered him telling that this is the escapade where he will make me say yes. "Too bad,"

"I know." He sighed again and ducked his head low. "Just that, this is the place that I feel relaxed the most since my mom used to bring me here before when things were still okay. And I just happen to think of this place to calm myself after what happened."

I nodded understandingly. "Well, it's not too late. Not that bad either. We can just stay here until the sun has set and it's just the street lamps to light the place." I told him and gave him a reassuring smile that he returned.

"You're amazing." He suddenly commented, and that made me look back at him with questioning eyes.

"What's amazing about me?" I asked mockingly with furrowed eyebrows and a suppressed smile.

He chuckled and placed an arm around my shoulders before leaning his head on mine, "Just that, you're like a light bulb that keeps every dark places bright. You're too kind, and too positive that you make me want to believe that things will really work out fine. That all is possible." He explained.

I smiled thinking how generous Kai is to think so fondly of me. "The world is a cruel place to live in, but at the same time it's the place where we can find happiness. Just that, people are too addicted to our thoughts, that we think otherwise about a lot of things in life. And I'm just the positive person you think I am now because I've experienced many of the cruel things the world could offer and learned from it. I learned that we cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking. So, when I figured I was also doing the same, I tried freeing myself from it, and eventually I ffound life a tad bit better by being positive." I told him, pouring my sincerity in every word now that he needed it.

He chuckled again and sighed loudly. "You're really like my mom. No wonder I fell for you." He uttered out amused, though there was a tinge of sadness in his tone at the mention of his 'mom'.

I smiled at what he said, despite the sadness in his tone, knowing that he was sincere with his umpteenth