My fingers brushed and over the piano keys as I was playing the melody I have created. With a little more fix here and there, and the addition of lyrics, it was molded into perfection. The words I used for the song I created were simple, but held a deeper meaning in it for me.

This song meant my love for him. And even though I started making this song as a past time activity, the more I heard it under the tips of my fingers, the more I realized how it happened to transform into Jongin's song. With the great motivation and passion I had, I practiced day by day, and made every revisions I could whenever I would hear how something was off in the piece that homed the meaning of my love for him, that listed the unsaid words I wanted him to hear, and that showed my true heart.

Satisfied, I recorded it once with my voice in it; singing the lyrics with all the emotions I hope will eventually reach him. There was no question how I really wanted this, no matter how I did it in a rush. It's just perfect. And I just know that it is, because the way my heart flits whenever I hear it told me so.

"You have been working on that one for a couple of days now. Have you finally finished it?" Minhyuk's voice caught my attention, and though I was still playing my song on the keys I hummed him a response.

"It's really nice." He commented as he stood next to the piano and smiled down at me. I smiled contently at him, but didn't speak as I felt no need to do so.

Minhyuk abruptly chuckled, and I watched him as he shook his head. "Sis, you look like a distraught lovesick whenever you are playing." I furrowed my eyebrows at him when I felt myself get scrutinized and scoffed disapprovingly as I rammed my fingers on the keys more aggressively.

"Is it that obvious?" I asked him, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Mmmm." He hummed, making me stop and sigh tiredly.

"Is that for him?" He suddenly asked as he crossed his arms.

I nodded and sniffed, feeling conscious that I am having this kind of talk with my brother. "I-I'm planning on giving it to him later on." I told him honestly as I started rubbing my nose due to the unusual coldness.

"Ah...sweet!" He exclaims teasingly as he pokes my cheek.

"Yah!" I swatted his hand away and scowled at him. This is not the treatment I want so early in the morning!

He stifled a laugh and ruffled my hair like his usual habit. All I did was groan at his stupid way of showing his affection, and soon enough he grew tired of teasing me. Finally. This guy always has his ways with me. I just don't get why he's like that, but even so, I wouldn't deny how I've grown to appreciate the way he treats me. It made me feel precious and protected. Like the little sister being held safe in her own brother's presence in certainly bizarre way.

"But honestly," He suddenly spoke, making me pull away from my minute trance, "that boy exceeded my expectations."

I cocked an eyebrow at him, and he seems to understand that I was questioning him on what he's even talking about. He chuckled and sighed as his eyes casted down to look at mine, "I mean, at first I thought he wasn't serious about you. But then I saw the way how he looks at you whenever he sees you..."

His eyes narrowed, as he stared at me, yet his stare was not really directed to me. It's as if he was just looking, but his mind was somewhere else. "His eyes were just screaming so much love for you... All the time." His lips twitched up into a content smile as he uttered those words out.

"Does... he... really... look at me that way?" I asked, as I started to feel my heart clench in utter anxiety and happiness.

"All the time." He repeated, and smiles again at me.

My lips curved up as warmth enveloped me just by hearing my brother's own observations about Jongin. It's just flattering to hear from someone else who is close to you how they think about the person that makes your heart beat differently, and makes me feel ecstatic to know how special I am to that person.

"But, are you sure you're not going to tell him, personally?" He asked me knowingly as he furrowed his eyebrows furiously.

I shook my head and looked down on my hands that were now resting on my lap. "I don't have the courage to do so, because I'm afraid to know how he will feel about it." I told him with a sullen voice as my hands clenched on the fabric of my pajama.

"You're afraid you'll only hurt him..." As much as I don't want to hear his bluntness, it was the truth. That was my fear.

"You've always been afraid before how people leave you behind, but then, now that you're the one leaving you're afraid, not for yourself, but for the people you will leave behind, right?" I nodded frantically in front of him as I felt a painful tug on my heart because of what he said. All because of that stupid fear, all because of my cowardice, I'm stuck in place, broken and slowly crumbling.

Minhyuk crouched down and hugged me. "You're only hurting yourself with what you are doing Nana. Why don't you just tell him? I'm sure he will understand you." He told me while giving my back comforting rubs.

But I only shook my head and started crying. I wrapped my arms around him as if my life depends on him. My heart is breaking. As much as I want to, that's how stupidly contradicted I am with myself. "I can't. If I tell him, it's more or less he'll get hurt. And I won't be able to forgive myself for hurting him. That's why I thought it's better for him not to know. So I wouldn't see him hurt. So I could go away with less burden in my heart. So I won't get held back."

"So, I won't miss him..."

I trembled furiously in his embrace, like a little child who was breaking slowly. I sobbed more than I had intended to, because my brother's warmth was so comforting that I didn't feel shy at all to cry. The circles he was drawing on my back were touches of healing that somehow made me feel cured even just a bit. And at that moment, I realized how it's the first time we had a time like this. Where we are having a heart-to-heart talk and when he is the one consoling me like how I wanted it to be ever since I was a kid.

"My baby sister is really growing up now." He chuckled as he pulled away and gave my forehead a soft kiss.

I smiled wryly at him as tears continued to brim down on my cheeks. He held the sides of my face and let his eyes wander over it. "I've always been worried for you, but this is the first time I feel very worried. Why you decided on those choices, I do not know. But if you want things to be that way, I will let you because I trust that you know what you are doing. Just so you know, oppa is just here if something happens." He assures me in a brotherly manner, and I nodded my head repeatedly while clasping my hands over his.

"Thank you, oppa." I told him as I gave his hands a light squeeze and looked affectionately at him.

He stood on his feet again and patted my head while smiling at me. "Anything for our maknae."

Minhyuk sauntered going to the kitchen to cook our morning meal, since mom got a little sick and had to rest in bed. I helped him do some of the dishes and we talked about various things that somehow distracted me from my own issues.

"How about just writing to him?" I heard Minhyuk suddenly suggest as he was frying bacons on the pan.

I cocked my head to his side as I stopped from dicing potatoes and considered what he said, "Maybe."

"Com’on that would be better than nothing Nana. At least Kai or your friends will have a clue about what's with you. You at least owe them that." He furrowed his eyebrows at me before turning his attention to what he was doing.

"Should I?" I mumbled to myself & sighed.

Afternoon came by, and without much thought I just decided on trying what my brother told me. I wrote letters on a cute stationery for my friends, and did a longer one for Jongin. I placed each inside envelopes, sealed them and slipped the letters inside my school bag. I slid Jongin's letter inside my study table's drawer, still undecided how I will give it to him.

I was a little drained from thinking too much that I plopped on my bed and laid on my side. The sight of Jongin's house from my window greeted me, and more thoughts about him flooded inside my head. How will I give my letter to him? It was the thing I have been bothered the most with, since writing those. Should I just slip it in his bag? Sneak inside his room and put it in one of his drawers? Shoold I just ask someone to give it to him? Should I ask Sehun? But that would be too much. I've already asked him the favor of giving my other letters to our friends when I am finally gone.

"What do I do?" I whined as I yanked my hair while wriggling from side to side on my bed like an idiot.

Suddenly, I remembered the date I promised Jongin. "Right, that's it. I’m gonna give it when that happens."

I got out of bed and dressed myself in some loose sweater, jeans, and sneakers since it's pretty cold now outside due to the season. I got out of my room in a hurry, my phone in hand, and with some money I had slipped inside my jeans' pocket. Mimi and dad were both in the living room watching TV. Minhyuk had just gotten down from his room after I did.

"And where is my sister going?"  Minhyuk asked as he raises a brow at me.

"I-I'm... just going to buy something from the bookstore." I told him hurriedly as adrenaline was taking over me.

"Oh?" He mouthed out knowingly, and smiled teasingly like he knew what I was going to do even if I didn't say anything specific. "Well, I was about to go out too, so how about we just go together?"

I fiddled with my fingers as I had averted my eyes from him, "Well, where are you to?"

"Mom asked me to buy all that is on this list in the supermarket." He told me as he unfolded a long list of the things mom wanted him to buy.

I pursed my lips as I looked at the list and then to him. Why am I even contemplating? It's not like he doesn't know that what I'm doing is something regarding the letters, right? My brother always sees through me even if I don't say a word, so how about I just let it be?

"Don't worry, I won't tease you if that's what you are worried about." He blurted out as he chuckles heartily and pokes my forehead.

I felt myself blush at his words, because he said it as if he read my mind.  "I-I'm not worried at all! Ah! Com'on, let's head out before it even gets dark!" I anxiously blurted out as I scurried going to the main door.

Minhyuk chuckled as he trudged behind me, but I just ignored him knowing that he won't stop on discreetly making fun of me if I even react to him. We got out of the house, locked the gate, when suddenly we heard peo