Tears. So many tears had been shed early morning.

 

 

The first person I saw when I open my eyes was Mrs Kim. She keep apologising for not taking care of me while clutching my hand tightly. Tears slow freely from her eyes.

 

Then, it was the girls. They moment our eyes meet, all of us started tearing.

 

The boys came to inside shortly. Gong Chan had excused himself  to the washroom after just 5 minutes of standing at the corner of the room. Shin Woo just patted my hand repeatedly as the other two was busy calming down their girl.

 

 

“Where’s oppa?” I asked.

 

 

Hana let out a loud sob.

 

 

I held onto Shin Woo’s hand and asked him the same question again.

 

 

“He’ll come soon.” He said with a sad smile. “Just sleep.”

 

 

 

 

-

“Don’t tell daddy.”

 

Mrs Kim shook her head. “Why not? He has to know!”

 

“Don’t.” I said, sighing with my eyes close. “He wouldn’t care anyway.”

 

I felt her running her fingers through my hair. “He needs to know that his step son is a monster!”

 

I shook my head slowly. “He wouldn’t do anything. He has a company to protect.”

 

“You’re his daughter.” She said sternly.

 

“Yeah, I am, but his company worth more than me.”

 

Mrs Kim sighed and placed her palm on my cheek. “Don’t say that.”

 

“But it’s true.” I murmured into my pillow. “And you know it’s true.”

 

She my cheek with her thumb and gave me a pat on my back. “Fine. But you have to tell me everything now, got it? No more secrets.”

 

“No more secrets.” I repeated.

 

She shook her head and run her fingers through my hair again. “And you need a haircut.”

 

I lifted my hand up and touched my hair. “But why? It’s the latest trend to have your hair half shaved.”

 

“Aigoo.” She said and nudged my cheek with her knuckles.

 

I smiled for the first time today and held her hand in mine. The warm feeling of her hand makes me feel calm and relaxing.

 

 

“By the way.” I said. “Where is Jin Young oppa?”

 

 

 

 

-

When I heard a knock on my door that night, I smiled to myself and pretend to be asleep.

 

Jin young. It must be Jin Young.

 

But then the lights were switched on in the room and my hand went up to cover my eyes on instinct.

 

“Sorry.” I heard a voice, a woman’s voice beside me. “Did I wake you up?”

 

 

I open my eyes slowly and shook my head. “Not really.”

 

 

Dr Jung smiled pressed her hand onto the place below my stomach. “I’m just going to check for abnormalities, okay?”

 

I nodded my head as her hand goes lower.

 

“Oww..”

 

She stopped pressing and lifted her hand. “Does this place hurt?”

 

“Y-yeah.” I said, patting on the spot where she had pressed earlier. “It stings a little.”

 

“Hmm. Okay.”

 

She put on her stethoscope and pressed the bell on top on my skin, listening to er…I don’t really know what was she trying to listen to actually.

 

 

I lay there without moving as I stared up at the ceiling.

 

 

“Dr Jung.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Is…is Jin Young oppa at home?”

 

She continued doing what she was doing before taking off the stethoscope and hanging it over her neck. “Yes.”

 

“Oh. Okay. Thank you.”

 

She pulled the chair closer to my bed and sat down. “Do you want to go home?” she asked me.

 

 

“No.”

 

 

She smiled. “That was a quick response.”

 

 

I didn’t answer her.

 

 

Dr Jung reached her hand out and placed it on top of mine. “You are actually allowed to be discharge tomorrow. But I told them that you can’t.”

 

“W-why?”

 

She looked at our hands before looking up at me. “I’m not sure. I felt that you would be safer here rather than going home.”

 

 

Again, I didn’t say anything.

 

 

“It’s a mother thing, you know?” she smiled at me. “Mothers know whether their child is in danger or not.”

 

 

I closed my eyes and try not to think of my own mother at that moment.

 

 

“Sorry.” She said softly. “I heard about your mother, from Jin Young.”

 

“Hmm…”

 

Dr Jung clasped my hand into hers as she shifted so that she was sitting on the bed. I open my eyes and saw looking down at me with the warmest smile, a smile that was so familiar to me.

 

 

 

A mother’s smile.

 

 

I swallowed the lump that was stuck on my throat and looked away.

 

 

“So!” she said, a little too cheerful. “You’re that special girl that my boy has been crazy about, hmm?”

 

“Huh..”

 

She laughed at my replied.

 

“You have no idea, Mi Yan.” She continued. “Jin Young is always talking about you. But he calls you Mia.”

 

“Y-yeah. You can call me that too.”

 

“Mia.” She nodded her head with a smile. “Well I suppose those nights where he had to sleepover, he was with you?”

 

I felt my face heating up. “Sorry. I…We didn’t do anything! It’s just…”

 

“Of course you didn’t do anything.”

 

I open my mouth and closed them back, not sure of the words choice.

 

“It’s okay.” She said with a pat on my cheek.

 

“No..” I shook my head. “It’s wrong. I know. I shouldn’t make him stay with me at night. But I just…”

 

My vision was starting to blur out and a tear escape from the corner of my eyes before I could stop it.

 

 

“I just…….don’t want to be alone.” I cried out.

 

Jin Young’s mother took out tissue from the table next to the bed and dabbed them on my cheek.

 

 

“It’s okay, Mia. It’s okay.” She whispered softly to me.

 

 

“I’m sorry.” I sobbed out. “I was wrong.”

 

“Nobody’s wrong.” She said.

 

“No. I am. I even lied to Jin Young so many times.”

 

“You had your reason.”

 

I cried harder as she wiped of my tears and cradles my face in her hand.

 

“Now, don’t cry. You’ll hurt your head.”

 

I sniffed and exhaled out deeply.

 

“Take some rest, okay?” she said. “I’ll check on you tomorrow again.”

 

I nodded my head and let go of her hand. “Can you…can you stay until I’ve fallen asleep?”

 

She smiled at me, the same motherly smile she gave me earlier. “Of course.”

 

 

 

-

“Go to sleep, Jin Young.”

“You’ll help right? You’ll help Mia, right?”

 

There was a knock on the door and a person walked inside. “Jin Young, why are you still up at this hour?”

 

Jin young strode over to his mother and hold onto her arm. “Help Mia. Tell appa to help Mia.”

 

His mother looked down at him and brought him closer into her arms. “We’ll do everything we can, okay? All you have to do is make sure Mia is safe.”

 

Jin Young sighed into his mother’s coat. “I….I can’t even face her now.”

 

“Jin Young, it’s not your fault.” His father said from the other side.

 

He shook his head and hugged his mother tightly. “It is…” he murmured. “If only I had try to know about her past more, if only I had pay more attention at how she had behave weirdly sometimes. Maybe….then maybe I can….I can….”

 

“Hush.” His mother said softly and his hair. “Now go to sleep.”

 

“I…I can’t sleep….Not with her in the hospital…”

 

“Then you should visit her. She has been asking for you the whole day.”

 

Jin Yong lifted his head slowly and looked at his mother. “Soon, omma. Not now. I can’t see her now.”

 

“It’s not your fault.” She sighed. Jin Young’s father walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Go get some sleep, Jin Young. We’ll talk about this tomorrow.”

 

 

 

-

I was sound asleep until I heard loud voices talking on top of their lungs.

 

Then, I was woken up when someone shake me really hard.

 

 

“Tsk. All you do is bringing trouble.”

 

 

I blinked my eyes slowly and find myself coming face to face with my step mother.

 

“Wha-..?”

 

 

She clucked her tongue and shook her head. “Well at least you’re the one getting hurt and not you hurting someone else.”

 

I finally open my eyes fully and sat up from the bed slowly.

 

“Who told you?” I asked.

 

She sat down on the chair next to me with her arms cross. “Mrs Kim. Who else? And I was wondering where you disappeared for two days.”

 

Mrs Kim? Oh no, no no no no…

 

“What did she told you?” I asked nervously.

 

 

She rolled her eyes. “You fell down the stairs and hit your head? Were you like, sleep walking in school?”

 

 

I clenched my fist on the bed sheets and inhaled deeply. So she wasn’t informed about what her monstrous son did to me.

 

 

“I’m hurt. Can you just let me rest?” I said.

 

“I didn’t want to come anyways.” She replied back. “But I had to settle your bills.”

 

Bills?

 

“I’m getting discharge?” I asked with fear.

 

“Not yet. They wanted to see a parent. And you father is in Hong Kong.”

 

I sighed mentally that I’m not going home yet. But then, I wasn’t that happy about what she had mentioned.

 

“Does…does father knows about this?”

 

“Hmm.” She replied. “He sent me here.”

 

“What did he said when you told him that I was in the hospital?”

 

She thought for a moment before shrugging her shoulders. “He just asked me to come and settle the bills.”

 

 

I let out a strange sound and quickly cover my mouth with my hand. My step mother looked at me with an eyebrow raised.

 

“I want to rest.” I said behind my hand.

 

“Okay.” She said and got up from the chair. “What a clumsy girl.”

 

 

 

As soon as the door closes, I let out the cry that I was holding back.

 

 

 

-

“Is Jin Young oppa coming?”

 

Dr Jung stopped my cheek and gave me a smile. “He’s busy with some graduation project at the moment. Maybe tomorrow?”

 

 

Lies. The Jin Young I knew would still come to look for me even when he had an assignment due the next day.

 

 

 

“Okay.”

 

She smiled at me and keeps my head. Her smile wasn’t as warm as yesterday.

 

 

It looked stained. And it looked pitiful.

 

 

 

I pretended to fall asleep so that she will leave my room.

 

 

As soon as she left, I got up from my bed and placed my feet down on the ground slowly. It took me a while to stand up straight for I have been lying down on the bed for the past two days. I dragged my IV stand along and  made my way out of my room.

 

 

The nurses were giving me worried looks as I was walking down the corridor bare footed. I told them that I wanted to have some fresh air outside and walking bare foot calms me down.

 

 

 

 

There. I’m lying. Again.

 

 

 

 

-

 

It was late night and it was quiet, too quiet.

 

I could see the night lights of Seoul slowly go off from the roof top of the hospital.

 

I closed my eyes as the cool night breeze blow softly on my face.

 

 

If I jump, no one would realize that I’m gone at this hour.

 

 

Will anyone care? I asked myself.

 

 

No, no one. My family would be happy if I’m dead, they won’t have to deal with me anymore.

 

 

 

Your wrong, Mia. He cares.

 

 

I open my eyes and glance behind me, hoping I would see him standing there.

 

Forget it. A voice in my head said to me.  It’s been two days since he last visited you.

 

That’s true. He’s probably too disgusted to see me right now. Well, after finding out about everything, I don’t blame him.

 

I took a step forward and realized my left hand was pulled back by the IV stand. I pull off the connecting tube and look at my blood oozing out. It hurts, but right now my mind and soul hurts more.

 

I asked myself the same question again as I step onto the higher level on the roof top. Will anyone care?

 

 

 

 

 

No, no one.

 

 

 

 

I closed my eyes and feel the cool breeze one last time before jumping off the roof top.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Good bye, Jin Young. Saranghae.

 

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Thank you for reading! <3