I was practically squeezing my panda as I stood at the corner. Part of me doesn’t want to hear anything anymore but part of me wants to know everything.

Do I even make sense?

I held my breath when Jin Young open his mouth.

“When I found out we were in the same school I decided to find her again. And so I did. We cleared things up and she told me she wants to be friends again. I agreed.”

“We decided to catch up on what we had been missing in each other’s life and so happen we had the same lunch breaks. So, we practically spend it on the rooftop.”

“The sweets, it’s nothing. I mean, I always give her candies since young because she likes them.”

“So I’m guessing those chocolates and lollipops you gave me meant nothing too.” I mumbled.

Jin Young looked surprised with my answer. “Baby, you know that’s not true.”

I shrugged. “I don’t know.”

He shot up from my bed and got off but I stopped him.

“She said you sang to her.”

We were both staring at each other until he looked away and sat back down on my bed.

“That…We were just..”

“Did you, or did you not.” Never had I imagine me sounding so stern.

“Yes. I did.”

Jealous. That right, I am jealous.

“It’s nothing, really. We were just singing randomly, we do that all the time.”

“All the time?” I asked.

Somehow I regretted asking him this question.

“We-” he paused for a while and took a breath. “Baby.”

“Yes, I understand.” I sounded annoyed. “You were both childhood friends, so it meant nothing.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

I rolled my eyes and leaned against the wall.

“So... why is she bothering me?”

Jin Young exhaled loudly and shook his head. “Jealous?”

Right. Of course.

“Oppa.” I said. “If you don’t mine me asking…why did you break up with your ex-girlfriend?”

His face went expressionless for a moment.

“Does Jin Ah…..have something to do with it?” I said softly.

Jin Young looked up and gave me the saddest smile I’ve ever seen from him.

“Yes.”

Okay, what is this weird feeling I’m having right now? It’s like there’s something pressing on my chest. Maybe it’s my panda.

“W-what did she do?”

He runs his fingers through his hair and down to his face. “Pretty much like what she did to you. But it became more serious after that.”

What a .

“And then you both broke up?”

His eyes, they looked hurt. Maybe this is still a sensitive question.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have as-”

“It’s cool.” He said. “Yeah, she broke up with me.”

Is that why he was acting all paranoid when I didn’t want to talk to him or pick up his calls? Does he think I’m going to break up with him?

“How come you’re still friends with Jin Ah? She practically ruins your life.”

“Mia.” He sighs. “She’s still my friend.”

“So?”

“I…I can’t just…”

“Yes you can.” I said. “She ignores you when you didn’t accept her feelings. She-”

I cover my mouth with my hand when I realisesomething.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Oppa. Can’t you see? She’s going to harass all the girls that are close to you. She still loves you for god sake! And she won’t stop until you accept her feelings.”

“I, I know.”

“Good. So you-, wait, what?”

He gave me a smiled and nodded his head.

“But….” My mind was so confused. “Then, you’re not afraid I would leave you? I could break up with you too, you know.”

His gaze gave me goose bumps and I don’t know why.

“I know you wouldn’t do that.”

“H-how sure are you.” Damn the stutter.

“I just know it.” he merely whispered.

So I have a boyfriend who has a childhood friend that is crazy in love with him but he’s too nice to tell her off and so he lost his first love.

Damn. What am I going to do?

“You wouldn’t, right?” Now he sounded scared.

No sound came out from my mouth but I was clearly saying ‘no’.

There was still one thing that bothers me though. Being myself, those words just came out from my mouth without getting filtered in my brain.

“So if it wasn’t for Jin Ah, you would still be with your ex?”

He wasn’t even looking at me when he replied. “I guess.”

Here comes the feeling again. But this time, I feel like someone is choking me instead.

He exhaled deeply. “Come here.” He said, patting on the spot next to him.

I shook my head.

“Please.”

“No.”

He sighed and reached his hand out to me. “Please, baby?” he nodded his head.

I hesitated at first but gave in.

He took the panda from my hand and put it on the bed. He then pulled me down on his lap, encircling his arms around my waist.

“Forgive me?” he said, pecking my lips.

“This won’t work on me.” I said.

He smiled and nuzzled into my neck, causing me to shiver at his touch.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think it’s important.”

“It is.” I muttered.

He kissed my cheek and looked up at me. “I’ll tell you everything you want to know, okay? No secrets between us. I promise.”

No secrets.These two words keep ringing in my head. Why do I feel so guilty right now?

He caught me off guard by kissing me on my lips.

No, Mia. You’re not supposed to give in. You’re still mad, remember?

Before I could even stop him, he cupped the back of my head and held me closer. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he lowers me down on the bed.

The next thing I know, I was lying on my back and Jin Young was hovering over me, our lips never parted.

Okay Mia, enough.

He settled his hands next to each side of my head as he ran his fingers through my hair. Our bodies were completely crushing against each other. Nibbling on my bottom lip, he brings his hands down and my cheek.

Then, he pulled away and kissed my jawline, down to my neck, it gently.

I froze.

Déjà vu.

Before he could kiss me again, I shoved him away on his chest. He landed beside me and starting coughing.

I could feel my eye sting as my vision got blurred.

“M-mia I..”

I grab my pillow from the corner of my bed and buried my head inside.

“Mia, sorry, I’m so sorry.”

Jin Young tried to pull the pillow away but I refuse to let go. I was trying to control myself but I couldn’t. I started crying.

“I shouldn’t have do that.” he said, patting my back. “Please, don’t cry.”

I shook my head. “It’s not your fault.”

“No it’s mine. I’ve gone too far. Please, don’t cry. Let me see your face.”

I cried louder as he caressed my hair.

“It’s not your fault.” I said again.

“Shh….It’s okay.”

Jin Young pulled me towards him and embraced me. “I’m sorry. Don’t cry.” he said, rubbing my arms.

I buried my face in his chest. “It’s not you.”

It reminded me of him.

I'm glad the font size is good =D

I actually wrote the previous chap and this chap at one go. but it was too long so i separated it hehe.

I might consider writing a GongChan fanfic though =D but not so soon. i'm still trying to get some ideas for the plot haha.

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