I woke to a crowded room. "No, put it here." "Shh, whisper, Seunghyun." "But," he continued in a whisper. "If you put it here no one can see it." "What about here?" JaeJin offered. I started to feel nauseous. I reached out and grabbed Yoseob's hand. He turned and I held a finger to my lips. I made a hand motion telling him I was going to throw up. He nodded and helped me out of the bed. He gently took the dripper off the stand and carried it as we slipped into the restroom. He silently closed the door as I slid to the floor in front of the toilet. It had been over a week on the medicine and I already knew my fate. Those two months or so that had been expected for me wouldn't be coming. "Where'd HongKi?" I asked waiting. Yoseob leaned against the wall. "He was sent out for food since he hasn't seen sunlight in so long." "Do me a favor then." "What?" Yoseob asked. "When they bring the food steal some of mine so it looks like I've eaten. I'm not hungry and they'll worry if I don't eat." The talk of food worked as usual. I threw up and Yoseob the sink so no one would hear. "I'm not a fool," Yoseob stated. "I can see that you're getting worse, aren't you?" I couldn't answer him. But it seemed like he didn't need an answer.

The doctor entered smiling. I had asked him to smile so they wouldn't know my fate would be so soon. "I'm so sorry," he said. It was creepy hearing that with a smile. "I've switched medicines but it seems that the poison has already done its work. I'm sorry to have gotten your hopes up." "A week, right?" I asked. He nodded. "It'll be painful, won't it?" He nodded again. Even he couldn't keep the smile plastered on his face at that point. "But we'll do everything we can to ease that pain." I nodded. He gave me a weak smile and left. "It looks like good news," HongKi smiled fooled. "Yeah," I lied. He kissed me. "That's great." Yoseob looked upset that I was lying. "Isn't that great, Yoseob?" HongKi smiled at him. Yoseob faked a smile, "Yeah, great," though his voice was thick with sarcasm. HongKi ignored it. "I'll go tell the others and be right back." He left. "How bad?" Yoseob asked immediately. "As bad as I expected. Probably worse. I'm really tired. I'm going to go back to sleep." He helped me lay down and then walked out of the room to keep the others from coming in and waking me.

"What about our presentation?" JongHun asked. "She sure sleeps a lot now," JaeJin frowned. "Part of the medicine," Yoseob lied. Yoseob saw the nurse entering the room to give Lyd more blood. She was losing it so fast from throwing up so often. He worried about how bad it would get.

HongKi laid on the bed with me. I leaned against his chest. The drugs eased the pain but they were making me so tired. "So," JongHun said. "We made a presentation of a sort that we wanted you to see." My family was also in the room so I was worried what it'd be. "Now, don't ask how we got these photos and videos, okay? We have our ways." "Oh dear," I mumbled. HongKi laughed. "Have you seen this?" I asked him. He shook his head. "I didn't know about this." "That worries me even more," I laughed. The laughing hurt my stomach so I quickly stopped.

The video started with footage of me at the variety show with SHINee. I laughed. "Is it all going to be this embarrassing?" I asked. "Most of it's worse," MinHwan teased. It went from me performing with SHINee to the karaoke room. Minho must have been videotaping. They showed them pulling me up and forcing me to dance. "I still can't believe how good you are at dancing," HongKi whispered. "Yeah, she's amazing," Yoseob said. He was sitting at my feet. The video cut and started again with me shoving my list in my purse. "What's that?" HongKi asked. "I don't remember," I lied. The camera turned to HongKi, MinHwan, and JaeJin entering. They introduced me and I covered my face and buried it in the blankets as I blushed when HongKi introduced himself. HongKi laughed, "Wow, you blushed so hard. I can't believe I didn't notice. It was really dark though." "She didn't even blush that much when she met Shinee," JongHun laughed. "Stop teasing me," I pouted. HongKi kissed me on my head. "Lyd, are you sleeping?" "No," "Then why are you so quiet?" "Because I've been sitting in one spot for two hours and my 's numb." Key started laughing. HongKi walked over and grabbed my hand and pulled me up. "It helps if you move it," he teased. "Oh! You still owe me a Bo Peep dance!" "No!" I whined. "Oh, God!" I cried and buried my head again in the blankets. The whole scene of me lying about dancing it was caught on tape. "No," I whined and buried my face in HongKi's chest, "They got the dance caught on tape." HongKi cracked up laughing seeing me dance it again and then even harder when he saw his reaction. I laughed too. "I am so out of here," I said in English. Onew laughed. HongKi walked right up to me and put his arms around me, "It's okay.""Oh my God," HongKi laughed. "Look at your reaction." "See?" JaeJin laughed. "You two were so ridculous.

"Oh this part was lucky," MinHwan laughed. "I had just gotten a video camera from a fan and was testing it out." It was the scene where we had to stand out in the rain and when I had gotten inside I was soaked and HongKi made me change into his clothes. "Why aren't you ever embarrassed by the things you do?" I asked HongKi. "Because I'm adorable." I laughed. "And I'd do them again if I had the chance." "This part was so cute!" MinHwan giggled. The video skipped to where I came out in his clothes and HongKi sat down and started drying my hair. "You were really cute," I smiled up at him. JaeJin laughed, "The part where you panicked because you didn't want HongKi to find out about your crush." Watching it over again HongKi started laughing. "I get it now!" he laughed. I watched us play Hand of Truth again. HongKi laughed so hard he almost fell off the bed when the video showed: "My turn," JaeJin grinned. "I have a crush on a guy from FT Island." I bit my lip so I wouldn't say anything as I put down my first finger as did Kim Young. HongKi was just happy he didn't put down a finger. JaeJin shook his head, "And that is the guy we have as our lead vocals." "That's me!" HongKi smiled. "But why does that matter?" "Oh hey! It's all subtitled," I laughed. "Yeah, that was JongHun. He knew we would be showing it to your family so he put subtitles on the bottom for their convenience." "Wow, that just made this all embarrassing," I laughed. "Say, do you still have that picture as your background?" Seunghyun asked. I looked up at the screen where HongKi was playing with my phone. "When you bought me the new phone HongKi put another picture of us as the background." "Can we see?" "No, it's changed again." "Something lovey-dovey," JaeJin joked. HongKi smiled. They had some photos of the birthday party and a bunch of HongKi and I sleeping on each other. "And so it began," Seunghyun laughed. I smiled.

Seunghyun had gotten video of the waking party. And then there were some clips of me dancing with SHINee in their practice room. I had forgotten that they had to videotape all their practices. Then there were pictures of everyone feeding each other. "You know what I love about winter?" "Christmas?" MinHwan guessed. "No, close. That's in a close second. It's so great to see everyone bundled up and lights and decorations everywhere. It's a sight you can't see any other time." He smiled lost in his dream state. "And then there's all the cute hats and mittens!" "And back to regular HongKi." "Can he even control it?" "Yes, he controls it to be this way," JongHun laughed. "I'm being serious! When he sings he becomes serious. He can totally control it. He just likes to act cute." "So does Minhwan though its not as serious a condition," JaeJin said. "Minhwan can act cute?" "See? You're so biased you don't even recognize the other members, do you?" I turned away into the wall embarrassed. "Do you know what instrument I play?" Minhwan asked. "Drums!" I cheered. "And his nickname?" "I don't know," I laughed. HongKi was looking in a shop window. "Do you know anyone's nickname?" JaeJin asked. "HongKi's." They laughed and shook their head. "You...you!" JongHun pointed and didn't know what to say so walked away. I got out my phone and did research. "No, no," JaeJin stole it and gave it to MinHwan for safe keeping. "You didn't want to know before you can't learn now." I sighed, "But now I feel awful!" "You should!" SeungHyun scolded. "Why are you being mean to Lyd?" HongKi asked joining us again. "She's a failure as a fan." I bowed my head, "I'm so sorry." "I don't think we can forgive her," JaeJin shook his head. I stopped walking and got down on my knees. They were shocked. "I'm so sorry. Please forgive me." People stopped and stared. "Get up!" HongKi tried to pull me up but I wouldn't budge. "Forgive her already!" HongKi whined. "I can't watch a girl on her knees. You shouldn't see this either MinHwan, you're too young." He covered MinHwan's eyes and MinHwan covered HongKi's. "Get up already!" JaeJin shouted. "You're forgiven." I quickly got up and gave my cutest smile. The three of them turned red and were even more embarrassed. "What?" HongKi asked. MinHwan looked around confused. I started down the street again unphased. "Ya! Your cuteness won't work on me!" JaeJin shouted and chased after me. "I missed her being cute?!" HongKi flipped out. "Show me!" They all caught up. I turned to MinHwan and walked backwards. "Can I have my phone back now?" he started to take it out. "Don't!" JaeJin shouted. I did a dance step from a music video I saw. I couldn't remember which one. But it my aegyo made him blush and hand it over. "What?! I told you not to give it to her!" "She was too cute!" MinHwan laughed. "I see. You're revealing your true colors now," JaeJin glared. "I'm manipulative," I smiled. "I can see that now." I rolled my eyes, "How did you really managed to get all that footage?" I asked. "That one was me," Seunghyun rose his hand.

(wow this chapter's getting long-ill continue the vid onto the next chapter-sry about all the long quotes. i like putting my favorite parts in here-it feels like forever ago i wrote this-anyways hope u continue to read and dont get mad at me because she's dying)