We sat in the cabin themed room and cuddled up under blankets drinking tea. "We should do this again. It was fun," HongKi suggested. I agreed, "Yeah, I enjoyed it." "How about something for later this week?" HyunSeung asked. "Uh, FT Island is busy with a new album so maybe we can fit it in two weeks?" "Two weeks for an album?" "No, we've been working on it for awhile but in two weeks we'll have a pause period before actually promoting it and everything." "Well, congratulations." "Thanks." HongKi's cell phone rang. He got up and went into the other room to take it. "Mind if we ask you something?" HyunSeung asked. "No, what?" I asked sipping the tea. "What was the results of your surgery?" I spit tea everywhere and started coughing. "You alright?" Yoseob asked. "Yoseob is easy to lie to but you remember telling us, don't you?" I didn't respond.

"Why haven't you told anyone?" Yoseob asked. I ignored him and sipped the tea. "Can you at least tell us what you have?" "How does it matter? Death is death," I spat coldly. "So you're really going to die soon?" Yoseob asked sadly. "Just forget it. Pretend you don't know." "You should tell people," HyunSeung said. "Why? So they treat me with pity and try everything they can to make me feel better? I don't want people to act differently. I like the way things are. I don't want to spend my time in a hospital hoping for a cure, okay? So can you keep this to yourself?" They sat there not knowing what to say. "What was the surgery for?" "It might slow it, it might not," I said quietly. "How can you be so calm?" "What should I be? Should I sit here and cry? Should I curse? Should beg for mercy that I'm too young? If this hadn't happened I wouldn't have even come to Korea. I wouldn't have met everyone and do all the things I have. So if anything I should be happy which is what I am. I'm happy."

HongKi reappeared and flipped over the couch. "Just a call making sure I'll be at the recording studio tomorrow. You'll come right?" he asked me. "Of course," I smiled. "I still haven't seen you dance. Lyd is supposedly a really good dancer." "I'm not." "I spoke to Taemin and he said you're really good." "I'm not. He's just being nice." "Come on. Show me, please," HongKi pleaded. I wanted to but I couldn't. It was too soon after the surgery. "It's late," Yoseob rescued me. "Don't ask her to perform when she's tired." I was glad HyunSeung didn't say that he had seen me dance. HongKi would've been so mad. "Then let's go to bed," HyunSeung offered. HongKi and I finally managed some sleep that night.