I really like that your title wasn't "Destroyed by love" because that would have turned me off entirely--I can see how your title links to your story which is good and after having read the story, it definitely feels like a good title however my only criticism would be that it's too common for a title--something more eye-catching would make a better title, in my opinion. That's pretty much the only flaw in it.

I love the use of French in the description! It's very classy and provides the impression of finery and taste which really suited the overall nature of your story as well as Krystal's character, though I only came to realise that after reading the story. Still, props to you on creating a foreword and description that really made me curious as to the content of the story; my only complaint would be that perhaps the foreword gives ... an odd impression of the story, it indicates that the story is a regular romance which it clearly isn't (and is so much more than your average highschool adultery story!). Of course, this may be a choice you made as a writer to emphasise the twists in the story, in which case it's not a mistake but just a nitpick from my end. Regardless, well-written description and foreword, despite their length.

The first reason I'm taking points off is because this is a highschool AU and as much as yours is really, really well-written and took my breath away, I don't think the concept is in any way novel; highschool stories are quite common unfortunately, as is the concept of a lover cheating on his/her significant other, BUT there were some less-used and unique elements in your story, namely the idea of MPD (I believe that is what Soojung has--or is it some form of psychosis? The distinction between Krystal and Soojung made me suspect the former). I found that the inclusion of mental illness was really unique as was your handling of it; normally stories featuring mental illness show depression or at best, bipolar disorder, but I've never come across a story where the protagonist suffers from psychosis. It was also handled very delicately and generally quite believeable, despite being unused, so props to you! The twist at the end didn't seem THAT predictable to me either, whcih is good. My only other complaint regarding originality would be in your choice of langauge which I'll touch on later on. As far as plot is concerned however, well done.

Now ... this is where I felt you lacked, but not severely. As far as Soojung/Krystal is concerned, it was fantastic; I felt like I could understand her reasoning, but there was an appropriate amount of suspense and the perfect amount of mystery surrounding her which keeps the story fresh (and that's vital considering the genre of this story). Though I usually don't read stories that feature Krystal as a protagonist, I didn't quite mind her in this one and I liked the contrast between Krystal's strength and SOojung's weakness as well as the one between Krystal's seemingly-immoral behaviour and Soojung's doubtful and hesitant one. Only at one point was I confused by her behaviour and that was at the end where Seuhn died; I questioned why she had to kill Sehun when he really hadn't done anything to her. Though excluding that, there were no gaps in logic or flaws that otherwise affected the characterisation of Soojung. I also really liked the way Krystal was written out--in italics and only in Soojung's thoughts and mind, but she still seemed rather believable and well-written.

Now as for Kai's characterisation, I found him to be quite believable as well and understood his actions--I think the way he handled his friend and girlfriend's death was wonderfully plotted out and written; it was an understandable response to trauma. My only complaint would be that he seemed a little ... stereotypical, like that typical ertedly-humorous good guy who just wants the best--it's not necessarily a bad thing, it balances the story out quite well and the story is still enjoyable all the same, but given that he'sone of the main characters, I would have preferred to see a little more complexity in him. Then again this is really only a nitpick from my point of view; dwelling too much on Kai's thought processes could detract from the story because the story is being  told from Soojung's point of view and one of the features that makes this story unique is her mental contrast with her alterego and her eventual reception of freedom.

I won't touch on Sehun's or Sooyeon's personalities because they're not main characters, though because of this I questioned the significance of Sehun's death. Not that it's unbelievable, considering Soojung's other acts, though since he's not a main character, was there any need to kill him off? Again, not something that ruins this story at all, just my curiosity.

Finally, Jinri! Now Jinri's characterisation bugged me a bit because I would have liked to see a little conflict coming from her as well, maybe a little anger or drama that could have driven Soojung to murder, perhaps? It would have gone that extra mile to makee this story more convincing than it already is and add another layer to Soojung's character in my opinion. Jinri seems slightly flat--her niceness is quite believable, though seeing as she's known Jongin longer than Soojung, I expected some anger or retaliation from her. Her understanding side does make her seem normal and real, but a different sort of reaction to her friend kissing her boyfriend would have made her seem less flat, in my opinion.

One other thing I have to point out is dialogue. This didn't seem like a consistent error to me but rather that at some points the dialogue is a little stiff/unrealistic and doesn't flow as well as it could. For example:

"Soojung, our parents are dead. I-I just got the call. The police suspect foul play."

This strikes me as a bit too blunt/straightforward for someone as emotionally-distressed as Sooyeon and the inclusion of the police suspecting foul play could have been added as a stammer or maybe after a pause to show how that affects her even more. Something like

"Soojung ... o-our parents are dead. I-I just got the call." *pause here, show sobbing/inability to form words* "The police suspect f-foul play."

But overall, I think you fared really well! The only issues I found were tiny and in no way did they affect how much I enjoyed your story. Soojung's characterisation in particular stood out to me as complex and well-explored (:!

I found no grammatical errors, typos or mistakes whatsoever in your writing nor did I have any trouble understanding what you had to say at any point. I felt like at some points that your language was a little bit cliched/not very unique which disrupts the flow of your writing slightly and the musicality of your words. Overall this was not really evident and for the most part your language was excellent--the vocabulary was perfect, the description had just the right amount of detail and the explanation of your characters' thought processes as well as the representation of Soojung's alter-ego were very well-done. I really have nothing to say about that, however:

"Krystal allows a careful smile because somewhere between here and there, Soojung’s lost all capability of emotion. She continues on with her life in a doll-like state: wishing, wanting, willing herself to move forward, but to no avail."

Now this was a line that struck me as artistic and something that conveys your thoughts very without compromising on flow, rhythm or style. It's also a rather unique way to express that sentiment--do you know that feeling when you read someone's work and you come across a sentence and you think you've seen other people express that thought in the same way? I think you've avoided that trap in this particular sentence--it really stood out to me.

"Krystal gives him a reassuring hug and promises to help him cope with this. She promises that the two will turn up soon and that they’re perfectly safe."

I felt like this sentence is an example of one that didn't quite meet the qualities I mentioned above--it'stoo simple and I feel like the term 'turn up' could be replaced with something either more poetic or sophisticated to match the tone of your story.

You also tend to make lists. For example:

"he can see fear and stars and the trembling of willow trees in the wind and beyond all of that, beyond all of the apprehension and the panic, he sees a frightened little girl crying in a corner."

Again, this might be personal preference but I find that style to be clunky and that it slows down the pace of the story. I'd suggest using commas, though I know there are readers who prefer the effects of having lists. In the end I think it's just preference and style.

I really have no complaints here. It's only because it's sliiiiiiightly cliche and I'm a bit curious about Sehun's death that I'm even taking a point off here; the plot was amazing and I genuinely found myself curios to see what would happen. As soon as Soojung's parents died I realised it wasn't your average high school AU and I honestly was not unhappy--as a reader--with anything. The plot had just the right blend of suspense, drama and romance and the ending was vague but didn't leave me outright confused either. The way the story unfolded was excellent as well; the ending was never entirely obvious at any point in the story. I also found myself growing quite attached to the characters and wishing they would find some form of solace or catharsis ... so yes, wonderful plot. It's not extremely overused and it has a lot of potential.

I love the way the story was presented--though it was shown in little snippets of various incidents, I found that choppiness really worked for this story and that the transitory periods in between helped make the story very smooth. I didn't feel like you were rushing at all (or going too slowly, that tends to happen quite a bit in a lot of stories of this kind) and you most certainly took the time to develop Krystal, which is good! As for organisation, the sequence of events were perfect--I didn't feel like there was an element lacking or any gaps in logic or that there were important character-developing events you could have included (or conversely, incidents of little to no significance to the plot and characters). The background and poster were also rather aesthetically pleasing ... so yeah, great job.

Though I can't say I like the pairings in this story (I'm sorry, Sekai has won me over somehow ;_;), I have to admit that it was an extremely enjoyable read and I was mesmerised by the beautifully-suspenseful plot that kept unfolding outwards into a tapestry that took my breath away--at every break in time in the story I found myself curious to know more and the ending left me very, very satisfied as a reader. My only complaints were small ones that were more a matter of personal opinion or things that did not really detract anything from the story. I loved the intricate plot, the way mental illness and romance were incorporated into this story and that the former was handled delicately and accurately. Honestly, I loved it. There's ... really no other way for me to phrase it.

this is actually the highest score i've ever given anyone, feel honoured I kid, I kid, but really, I loved your story and I almost felt like I wasn't reviewing it but rather simply enjoying it as a casual reader. It actually took quite an effort to review this because the first time round I analysed nothing in your story and was too captivated by the plotline and complex characterisation and overall wonderful story to do any actual review /facepalms at self/. The second time round I only picked out really, really small errors and all of them are more a matter of personal opinion or tiny things that might be missed on a casual read (as I did).

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