Your title was simple, but not exactly creative. It's just your story's foundation. There wasn't anything really hidden in this story. It was pretty much what you see / read is what you get / understand. It's just nice. Not amazing. Not horrible. Just nice.

Your description was nice and that is all I can say. Nothing caught my eye, it wasn't anything special. If I was looking at this story and I wasn't a reviewer, personally I would be bored and probably be looking for some spice and jazz in the foreword. However your foreword were just song lyrics that completely contradicted your description, so I was just sitting in my computer chair completely blank.

Your story isn't anything special and I'll tell you why. It's highly predictable. I don't need to read anything but the tags and foreword to pretty much know. Yeah this girl is gonna crash a wedding and maybe fall in love with some dude in the process and some other stuff will happen. It's cliche, but not saying cliche means unreadible or uninteresting.

I'm saying that you made the cliche, a typical cliche which was boring and such. I know stories that are cliche, but somehow are so well written that they don't seem like it and actually break the boundaries of cliche. But this story wasn't anything special at all and the foreword and description didn't exactly set me up for excitement for reading this but rather boredom. Just learn to spice things up, and don't make your foreword seem like a persuasive essay where people ask you things to hook you in.

Because for sure, it doesn't.

There weren't any grammatical errors, but rather I just found it awkward to read. There isn't a set point of how we see the story. It's not told in first person, second, or third; but rather it switches. This story isn't built to be that type, say...one of the Rick Riordan books since I can't find a fic where it is suitable to switch thoughts like that. I don't enjoy the random POV switching and the words of some random character's POV just doesn't make it readible in my opinion. Your characters aren't different from each other so it isn't easy to tell who is thinking and sometimes I have to scroll back up or remember that oh yeah this is GD's POV and not Dara's etc. Overall it was just confusing and it wasn't solid so it was annoying to read rather.

Dara's flat, GD's flat, everyone's flat. I'll tell you that much. Other than maybe Bom who seems like a cool little if you get my drift and that other girl GD was going to marry. I give you points for having character flaws though considering GD's a prideful sometimes and won't even thank Dara sometimes for saving his at the wedding. It's just that these characters are boring and practically have no own personality to them.

Dara and GD are virutally the same so I'll talk about them together considering that they're also the main characters. Dara and GD share similar personality traits and it's nice that they get on each others nerves. However, they don't seem genuine or even real. They both sound like little kids and this story doesn't even match their maturity levels apart from the dirty jokes or pms talk.

They aren't concrete. They don't have personality traits that make me go "Yup that is something she/he would totally say." or if they did something I'll be like you totally would do that. They're flimsy and seem like characters that just go with the flow and their personalities flucuate to the point where its not character developement, its character identity crisis.

I can't even sympathize for Dara in whatever weird problem she has with her family and such considering her character is just so flimsy. It's just how bad your characters are built. What you need is consitency between their flaws and personality and backgrounds.

There isn't anything original about this story apart from maybe the fact that its the girl thats the wedding crasher and not the dude. Nothing speaks out to me or makes me laugh or smile it just makes me feel nothing on the inside. It's a story with such a simple ending and you even enforce it when the characters make their rules about each other. You're basically saying oh yeah this is what can happen in the plot and they're going to refer to their rules and such. You could've made this original by making the characters concrete with real personalities that make me feel and undersatnd them. You didn't add any real twists to this story and it just dragged it down from its already unoriginal status.

This plot was something that didn't interest me in one single bit. It's so obvious what's going to happen, it actually hurts. There isn't really any conflict and it was all just randomness. It only picked up after a bit, but we were so far into the story that it didn't even interest me and I was thinking that Dara should've had thoughts about this earlier rather than all of a sudden. You were off with the timing a lot of the time. Sometimes the moment was too slow or your writing couldn't make the moment all that excisting. Other times the moment was too fast and you didn't understand it.

Your word choice is something that I'm not quite fond of. The overexagerated ways of pretty much everything seems so fake and the random Korean makes it seem childish. You didn't have grammar mistakes or spelling errors, but it was just the overall flow and structure of the story was so choppy with all the random POV changes and flimsy writing style.

I'm sorry, but there really can't be any bonus for this story. Everything is just too flimsy, choppy, or underwhelming and nothing stood out for me.

Your story is so predictable, that it isn't enjoyable. While reading I didn't enjoy any of the characters and felt that they didn't have any personalities at all. The events that happened were something that wouldn't even happen in reality, and even so, you couldn't make me believe it. Your writing made it seem like everyone was a child and they were playing 'wedding' or 'life' to me.

You need a full rewrite to get this story up and running again. Take each character and map them out and create concrete personalities for them. Change your writing style a bit to fit the reality of your story.

On a funnier note, I notice that the review shop that you run was the shop I submitted a review to haha, small world. Also you said in your author's note that your friend QuickSand helped you and quicksand works here; haha and even smaller world XD

Don't feel down or anything about my strict review. I just believe that you really can make this story into something better than what it is now.

Don't forget to credit back to our shop, link required!