While your title is nice, it's not eye catching. It's like any other story title like 'Hell Fire' and it's not interesting. I can say that being me, I would've been drawn in a little bit, but it's not something that I would immediately murder my mouse for but rather think about. It's nice and that's about it.

Well I do commend you for actually making a description and a foreword (you have no idea how many stories I've read with just author notes...) it's nothing new.

Well, not entirely I mean.

The entire badass girl point of view hasn't really been done before and it is something that must be done delicately to ensure a 'non cliche feel' about it if you get my drift. Your description is a bit contradicting considering her best friend is a dude and she's a heart breaker. Your story is something where things happen, but it's not really magnified you know? Like things are brushed over and certain details are explained in a non descript way like the elites and such. 

The foreword is something that I would've exited this story for. I'm sorry, but your school name...it's so...very...done before. Excuse my incompetence but please understand that the school name is something that is notoriously known to be in fanfics or any fan written thing. I would've preferred something simple like Bloomingdale or just 'Cross High School' you know? Not that really...long title. However I did like how it was told from Martzia's point of view and I did enjoy her jerk attitude. 

Could I have a note of not having author notes first. It just ruins the mood especially if a scene is continuing from the previous chapter. Maybe it's just be, but it's kind of awkward when you read an author's note first, I dunno maybe it's just me.

Apart from that, you didn't really have grammar or spelling mistakes, but dry and plain writing. There wasn't anything new or fresh on the table and I found that this is what everyone and anyone can write. Not that your story isn't good. It's actually quite brilliant but it's just that your writing didn't do it justice so I apologize for sounding harsh but that was my first opnion. It's your dry writing that I found it hard to keep reading.

Martzia was enjoyable but I found her flat. There's a common thing amongst people that just doing the opposite of what is supposedly a cliche means your work is more three dimensional when really it's not. I know stories that have had SO much potential to be cliche and they're literally walking on thin ice, but somehow they don't make it cliche or flat. The tihng was that I found Martzia VERY flat. Allow me to explain.

Her character is the typical--well not typical considering her character is typically the antagonist but you get me--badass girl who doesn't give two s about whatever is thrown her way. That's pretty much all we get until about chapter six or so that we see actual personality. By actual personality I mean that she thinks about what she's doing. I know that no bully or heartbreaker or douchebag or whatever does not think about what they're doing. A real jerk is someone who thinks about the worst possible way to make someone upset. However, there is always in that thought process, what could make that person sad. For Martzia it is just for her own fun and it's not exactly described why and that's why it's flat. Her character in the beginning is flat and the small little character developement you gave her wasnt' enough to keep her character going. I found that she wasn't really needed honestly and even when her problem/situation/reasons were revealed, I didn't feel anything for her.

I personally like your supporting characters better than your main one. Daehyun, Himchan, and Hyunseung are all very interesting for one thing, they fell in love with her, even when they know or should know damn well what she is. I was really interested into why Daehyun was so into changing Martzia and why Himchan even fell in love with her. I feel like you should've described that better as well because no one just falls in love for no reason. Also, Hyunseung.

I was curious to why Hyunseung had stuck by Martzia all this time and hasn't had feelings for her or I don't know...questioned her actions. I was just really curious about him and felt that he should've had more place in the story.

I've actually seen your story ONCE on this site and that's only because I'm an avid reader of this place. The originality of this story is actually quite well done apart from the fact that the entire set up seems cliche and there really isn't any twist to it. I really like the idea of it though.

Honestly, nothing in this story was memorable. Things happened but the impact of everything seemed like a very light flick and there wasn't anything that ripped my soul and burned it in hell or anything. I'm being overly dramatic but let me explain.

Before writing this, I read this again after a few weeks. After reading it, I found myself not even remembering anything big. I was like oh yeah there was a dance and she screwed with Himchan's feelings. That was about it. I think you need to lengthen the big moments and make all the small stuff less important because then I can leave with things in my mind rather than blank.

Your title and concept of the story match up and I find it cool as I also have a story with a similar title but it uses the words 'Ice Princess' and the concept isn't the same but oh well. I did enjoy how Martzia was a total and such and how everything kind of made sense.

However the structure of everything was off. The moments that needed to be slow, you glossed over. The moments you needed to speed up, you slowed down.  When she's at karaoke, I don't need to see the lyrics, I would rather enjoy her feelings and thoughts about the words pooling out of along with tid bits of the lyrics.

I enjoyed your title's concept along with your story.It really had that wrapped up factor that this was a full package story.

The entire time I was reading this, I wasn't really interested. The concept and idea only took me so far and I was really just waiting for that wow factor. It never really came. I wanted to see more characterization, more personality, and just more things happening. Everything that happened in the story seemed to be things that we just know should happen and there wasn't really anything interesting about the things you described since they seemed to small.

I would advise for you not to use photos in your story because it looks really random, but I did like her dress and makeup and such. I would also advise for your writing style to be vamped up a bit. It's too dry. However! Don't describe SO SO much! It'll have this reverse effect of making everything boring too. Everything in moderation yo. Also, give Martzia's character more of...actual character with personality and such and you're golden. This story idea is actually quite brilliant, but you just need a proper oophf to get everything on the right track~

And I'm also SO SO SO VERY sorry that this is BEYOND OVERDUE!! I haven't had time at ALL to write up this review. I actually read your story a long time ago but never got the chance to review since that usually takes an hour or two of time OTL

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