Heechul woke up with an empty space in his bed again. He pouted when he saw that his boyfriend wasn't there again. He then rolled over and looked at the date at the calendar. 

21 December 2009

Chirstmas will be in a few days. He was excited to celebrate it especially that this will be the first time that he and Hankyung will celebrate as a couple. 

He stood up, washed his face and smiled. When he returned back to their room, Hankyung just arrived who seems to have bought something with him.

"What's that?" Heechul asked. "Just some personal things. You know, herbal tea and so." He explained. Heechul made a face that seems to be disgusted. He just dislikes the taste of some   the tea that Hankyung buys. Hankyung laughs and wraps his arms around Heechul. "Have you eaten breakfast yet?" He asked and Heechul shook his head. "Well, eat up. I don't want you to get hungry." Hankyung smiled and kissed him on the lips. "Araseo. Arasseo." Heechul said and went to the kitchen.

He sat on the floor of the living room where Donghae is. Kangin and Leeteuk were at the couch while Shindong was on the recliner. Heechul was about to take a spoon when he was stopped with the news. Shindong changed the channel to see some news, but they never expected what would be written.

"Headline! Hankyung of Super Junior files a lawsuit against SM Entertainment to terminate his contract!"

Shindong immediately turned off the television. All the eyes were on Heechul who had dropped his spoon and was aimlessly staring into the floor. They were surprised, but it was obvious who was the one in pain the most.

One of the doors opened, and Hankyung came out. The focus and attention was on him now. "Is it true?" Heechul asked, his eyes still not leaving where he is looking at. Hankyung didn't answer and lowered his head. "I asked you if it's true." Heechul asked with a voice angrier and with tears this time. No one would try to in. They were afraid of getting into those couple fights. "I'm sorry." Hankyung whispered with tears. 

Heechul stood up. Everyone gulped and was afraid of what would happened next.

"Why didn't you tell us? Why didn't you tell me?!" Heechul shouted with tears. "I.. I... I don't want to burden you." He answered him. "You think you'd burden us?! You think you'd burden me?! What am I to you?! Why are you suddenly leaving me?! Am I not that important to you?!" Heechul yelled even more. The others couldn't do anything. Leeteuk, tried to say something, but Kangin held him and shook his head.

Hankyung just stood there, holding his tears while Heechul yells at him. He doesn't know what to say. 

"Let me explain..." Hankyung tried to say. "Explain what?! That you hid this from us, especially from me! And you're just gonna leave us?!" Heechul yelled. "If you want to leave, then just leave! Go to our room and pack your belongings and fly back to China!" Heechul yelled and pushed Hankyung to their room. Everyone was stunned at what Heechul had said.

Hankyung didn't fight back and let Heechul push him inside the room. Once the door was slammed shut, he slumped his back on the door and fell down. He cried out what just happened. This was one of the things he feared the most, seeing Heechul cry and get angry.

Suddenly, Hankyung felt that pain again. He tried to stand up and get the medicine he bought earlier. He was suffering, and he couldn't tell anyone. He couldn't tell Heechul.

Meanwhile, just outside, Heechul fell to his knees. "Hyung~" Siwon said. Yes, he, Eunhyuk, Sungmin, Ryeowook, Yesung and Kyuhyun saw and heard everything. Everyone was shocked and was in pain, and they understood why their hyung was this.

_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_

Heechul has been at the couch for hours. He hasn't eaten or drank anything since this morning. His eyes were swollen and his face was red. He would sniff and sob once in a while, assuring everyone that he is still alive. Everyone was concerned over their troubled hyung.

"We need to talk with them." Leeteuk said. "I'll talk with Hankyung hyung first." Siwon said and Leeteuk nodded. He knocked on Heechul and Hankyung's room and he entered.

"Hyung~" Siwon called as he saw Hankyung curled up on the floor and sobbing. He then sat up and wiped his face. "H-hey S-siwon." His voice cracked. Siwon sat in front of Hankyung and frowned. Hankyung couldn't look into his eyes directly. 

"Hyung, why didn't you tell us?" Siwon asked. "I was afraid." Hankyung began. "None of you knew what was really happening to me. If I tell you, I don't want you all to pity me and be a burden to you." He explained. "I was having a hard time. I had too much stress lately. I went to the doctors and found out that I have kidney problems. I couldn't tell Heechul. I don't want him to worry. I want him to be happy." He ended and started to cry again.

"Well, do you think he's happy?" Siwon asked and Hankyung shooks his head. "And what's worse is he had to find it from the public." Siwon said. "I'm wrong. I know. If I tell him I have all these problems, he will take action. I want to carry all of this on my own." Hankyung said, wiping his tears. "Then you should've told him. Out of everyone, you should tell him everything. Everyone knows he isn't just a someone to you. He's likes your other half." Siwon said. "Correction. He's not like my other half. He is my other half. He is my heart. And I regret not telling him." Hankyung said. 

Siwon scooted beside him and patted his back. 

_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_

Siwon now took this chance to be with Heechul, the one who was in the worst state.

"Hyung~" Siwon said, but Heechul didn't respond. "Listen, I talked to Hankyung hyung." Siwon said as he sat in front of Heechul. "He said he was sorry. He said he was afraid that you'd take actions if he told you." Siwon began. "Of course I would!" Heechul finally sat up and said something. "See! He wants to face this problem on his own. Cause it's his problems, not yours." Siwon continued. "If he tells me then I won't have to do this! Why is he so selfish anyway?!" Heechul complained. "He doesn't want you to be worried. He's sick, okay?! The ones he bought earlier weren't just some tea. Those were medicines." Siwon added. "He knows he's wrong for not telling you. He's gonna apologize later, when he's done talking with Leeteuk hyung and Kangin hyung, but understand his situation." Siwon spoke softly. Heechul didn't complain anymore because he just realized how ignorant he was.

"Hankyung is sick and I can't take care of him." Heechul cried and Siwon patted his back. Heechul hated that he didn't give that much attention to Hankyung's pains and such. He wanted to hurt himself for it. He couldn't afford losing him.

Meanwhile, while Siwon was with Heechul, Kangin and Leeteuk took the time to talk with Hankyung. The couple saw how Hankyung looks better than what Siwon had described him when he entered earlier. "Hankyung~" Leeteuk called. Hankyung smiled, and not forced anymore. The two sat beside each other and faced Hankyung.

"Everyone knows that Heechul is in a lot of pain." Leeteuk began. "I know. I regret it. I hurt him so much." Hankyung answered. "I know how he feels. If one day, that someone will just go on without a word." Leeteuk said and grabbed Kangin's hand. He looked into his boyfriend's eyes and his cheek. "I know why he's like that. He loves so much. He's afraid that you'll leave when he just got you." Leeteuk said and faced Hankyung. "I couldn't also bear the thought of my someone leaving." Leeteuk lowered his head. "I couldn't bear the thought of you leaving me." Leeteuk faced Kangin.

Hankyung smiled and knew automatically what was between the two. He wanted to talk with Heechul now. Seeing the two makes him realize how stupid he was for being selfish. He didn't think of what Heechul would think.

He then stood up, told his hyungs to stay and went to the living room.

He saw Heechul being comforted by Siwon. He went closer and Siwon stood up to leave. "Let's talk. Please give me a chance." Hankyung looked deeply into his eyes. He Heechul's cheek and wiped his tears away. Heechul nodded and grabbed Hankyung's hand.

The two went into their room, and Heechul was surprised to see Leeteuk and Kangin there. The two bowed and smiled at them. "Why are they here?" Heechul asked as he and Hankyung sits at his bed.

"Couple talk & issues." Hankyung said. Heechul looked at the two and knew what he meant. "How long?" Heechul asked as he crossed his legs and placed his chin on his hand. "Since the hit and run accident." Kangin said. "I knew something was up." Heechul commented. "Your whispers, when you hold hands, they way you look into each other's eyes--" "We get it. But that isn't the main point why we're here." Leeteuk cut him off.

"We're here to tell you to lower your pride and listen to each other. You both have faults here. If you love each other, understand what the other is feeling, okay?" Kangin said and the two nodded. "Well, we'll go now. Oh, and can you please keep us a secret? No one else knows in the dorm besides you." Kangin lastly said and the two nodded before the KangTeuk couple disappears.

Now, Heechul and Hankyung were alone. Heechul was still red and his eyes were swollen. Hankyung sat in front of Heechul and held  his face. He wiped the tears that were falling, but Heechul turned his head away. It just saddens Hankyung more that Heechul doesn't even allow him to wipe his tears.

"Let's talk." Hankyung spoke and held Heechul's hands. "Fine." Heechul said. Hankyung sighed and weakly smiled.

"I'm terminating my contract in SME." Hankyung said. "I know. We know. I want to know why and why you kept it from us." Heechul said with tears b his eyes again. He sat closer to Hankyung and was sniffing again. "I've been under too much stress. And you know that my income isn't that big compared to yours." Hankyung explained. "But mostly, my health has been suffering. I went to the hospital days ago for a check up. They found out I have kidney problems." Hankyung said.

Heechul immediately hugged Hankyung. "I'm sorry. I... I... didn't know you were this sick and suffering this much." Heechul cried at Hankyung's chest. "It's not your fault. I didn't tell you. Please understand." Hankyung said. "I do. Just please don't leave us. Don't leave me." Heechul looked into his eyes. "But I already filed a lawsuit. I have to leave you." He said and stood up. "When are you leaving?" Heechul asked. "Tomorrow morning." Hankyung said.

"What about Super Junior then?! What about the ELFs?! What about us?! What about me?" Heechul yelled, but soften at his last words. Hankyung then stood up too. "I wish they'd understand that I'm doing this for my health. I wish ELFs could understand. And I hope you'd never lose the memories we had." Hankyung said as he walked towards Heechul. "Are you saying you were just a memory?!" Heechul retorted. Hankyung lowered his head and lightly nodded. 

"You were never just a memory to me! You aren't just someone who just walked into my life and is just gonna walk out so easily! You... you are my other half. You are my heart. How do you think am I able to live these part years?! How do you think I will live right now?!" Heechul said and fell unto his knees. He was just so weak and he just couldn't handle anything anymore. Hankyung's leaving and he doesn't know what to do. 

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me. This was the nightmare I hated seeing, you getting hurt and crying. I'm sorry." Hankyung ran to Heechul and enveloped him into his arms. "Just promise me you'll live well and that you'll still love me." Heechul finally accepted and realized that Hankyung has been suffering. He fell not because he couldn't let Hankyung go, but because he never saw the pain his boyfriend has suffered all these years.

"I will. I'll still love you. I have loved you all these years, what made you think I'm going to stop here?" Hankyung smiled. Heechul was still crying, but smiled. Hankyung kissed Heechul on the lips as a reminder that he still loves him. 

"You aren't just a memory to me. You are the best thing that I've gotten in my life." Heechul said and closed his eyes. Hankyung carried them to their bed and rocked Heechul in his arms. He let his hyung sleep in his arms since this might probably the last time they'll be together.

"Don't leave me, Geng. Saranghae~" Heechul mumbled and Hankyung smiled. "I wish I don't have to leave too." He said and Heechul's hair. "Wo ai ni." He said and kissed him. He hugged him tighter and wrapped his arms around Heechul. Heechul was half awake and he wrapped his arms around Hankyung too.

Time for some drama again. This was one of the most painful chapters I have to write again.  Seeing Heechul so weak and vulnerable is a rare sight. It was one of those times I felt like crying as I wrote it. *sniffs*

I only gave out small details about Hankyung's lawsuit. I don't want to go in details about it. If you want to reminisce why he had to go, check this site: http://www.soompi.com/news/hankyungs-reasons-for-filing-flawsuit-against-sm-entertainment