No one is alright after the break up. For Jessica, she still doesn’t get it why the man she loves had changed into complete person. A part of her still believes that he loves her but then again, his constant avoiding, ignoring her had proven otherwise. She was one persistent woman to be honest despite how he pushed her away whenever she approached him seeking for truth. It was not easy for Donghae too, how much he regretted each time he coldly pushed her away and how his heart almost soften and almost to tell her the truth and yet he had to hold it back. He doesn’t blame s as well as Jessica members for being disappointed in him. It was his decision after all.

It was very late at night after Jessica and others had finished their practice. She informed her members that she felt like staying back for awhile and told them not to worry. They respected her and gave her some time alone but also asked her to come back to the dorm sooner. Jessica then walked to the rooftop; this place is poignant reminder of her first heartache. All the sudden sadness flooded her. She lightly laughs to thin air sarcastically at how this place consists of both of her happiness and heartrending memories, a place where Donghae declared his love and then where he broke her heart.

Jessica startled when she heard the door crept opened. She quickly turned back and her heart skipped a beat when she met Donghae who looked surprised to see her, and then they locked their eyes. Their breathing becomes slow while their hearts are furiously pounding. “Oppa.”

“Hey…” once he replied, he turned his back about to leave, as he couldn’t face her right now.

“Don’t go, Oppa, please,” she ran and encircled his waist, hugging him tightly.

He stayed and allowed her to embrace him. How he wished this moment stays but reality doesn’t allow him to. He gently removed her soft hand and ready to walk away again. “Oppa, if you walk away right this moment, I assure you that I will never give you another chance and forgive you!” Jessica raised her tone, wavering.

She was so wrong and so disappointed that she thought he will turn back, cuddle her and tell her his explanation. He just walked away. She knelt down, and tears uncontrollably rolled down.

“I hate you!” she shouted.

He hid behind the wall but able to hear her sobbing, it was heartbreaking and he felt his heart was being torn apart.

“I’m really sorry princess, I hope you will understand my intention when times come,” he muttered and tears trickled down when he blinked his eyes.

***

Jessica was totally absorbed in her comeback promotion; and she spent most of the time practicing the dance steps. This is the only way that she could refrain herself from thinking of him.

“Thank you girls for your care and understanding all this while, I am thankful to have you guys and I promise I won’t shed any tears for him anymore,” Jessica was grateful to all her members as they gathered for a group hug. The girls know that she is trying her best to stay happy in order not to affect their comeback.

She was relief that she won’t be seeing him in the company as he will go mainland for their latest album promotion. On the other hand, Donghae also stay as cheerful as he can even that s are still unhappy with him except for Eunhyuk who knows his secret. And whenever they finish their practice, he will secretly hide in his room and switch on his laptop to watch his princess performance as well as to check out of her any latest news and his face brings out a genuine smile when he watches her.

Just then, his roommate, Eunhyuk, opened the door and Donghae quickly closes his laptop cover. “It’s me, dude,” Eunhyuk assured him. He sat by his side and watched the performance as well.

“My Hyoyeon is the most beautiful woman, don’t you agree?” Eunhyuk said with a smile.

“My princess shines,” Donghae said with a grin, not listening to what Eunhyuk had said.

“Oh ya!” Donghae suddenly remembered something.

He watched every performance and variety shows she attended. One variety show preview she attended attracted his fullest attention. It was radio star, he nearly forgets that it will air today; he wasted no time, and quickly changed the channel. She looked breathtakingly and how the MCs teased about her with Taecyeon was causing volcano eruption inside him ready to burst out. How everyone thought Taecyeon was the only guy she is with but not him is so absurd. Although Jessica had clarified to him that she and Taecyeon was purely just best friends but he knows that Taecyeon had interest in her. He clenched his finger, he was so jealous when Kyuhyun joined in the tease.

And when she was asked if she will to expose her relationship, she just laugh and said she will if she get caught. It caused a slam to Donghae heart, and he realizes he was a coward. Not only that but there was one topic on if they are close to any super junior member, he sat up and listens attentively, he was hoping that she will say his name but to his disappointment, she just said she wasn’t close to any at all.

“Hyung, you are hopeless. Since you love her and miss her so much, why just not tell her the truth and reconcile back?” Eunhyuk rejoined him after a shower.

“She hates me now,” he sighed sadly. He regretted to the decision he made. He should be adamant in their relationship.

He couldn’t sleep that night, he tossed and turned, his mind was filled with Jessica beautiful face, her smiles and everything. He took his phone and drew along her face that was on his wallpaper with his finger tip. He just misses her so much, so crazily. He wanted to hear her voice and listened to her angelic laughter. He hesitated as he entered the familiar numbers on his phone, he almost pressed the call button but then he quickly went back to home page. He just couldn’t bring himself to call her. 

The next morning, Donghae was looking for Eunhyuk and saw him watching his phone secretively. He smirked and snatched his phone, betting he must be watching some rated movie. Eunhyuk chased after him and ordered him to return back his phone but Donghae refused.

“Yah! Fishy! Return my phone back!” he repeated loudly.

“What’s wrong?” it was not the first time and why is he so uptight about his phone.

“Just give me back, please,” Eunhyuk begged.

Donghae became curious by his actions and decided to look at his phone screen anyway. It was an article captioned ‘SNSD Jessica rumored to be dating with Tyler Kwon’.  His eyes grew wider and scroll immediately down to read the articles but it did not give much information except photographs and brief statement.

Eunhyuk examined his reaction, he was calm. “You ok?”

“Ya I’m good. I know they knew each other, it was a groundless statement, besides this photo was taken sometimes back and how absurd those reporters decided to bring this up again,” he commented.

He also noticed how close Jessica and Suho had become and so much of skinships they had publicly in the Inkigayo, and he was jealous when how some are speculating their relationship. He doesn’t like one bit, he knew they were close but then again, his princess is just so lovable that boys love her even Suho. He was so frustrated, she only belongs to him.

***

Donghae and group returned to Korea and to start their promotions in Korea for the time being. He was ecstatic knowing that he will meet Jessica during music shows. He had thought a lot all these while. He slowly came to realize how selfish he was and he was jerk for hurting his princess. He shouldn’t have gave her up. Eunhyuk also had encouraged and advice him to fight back for his love. He was right, he loves her so much and she meant a lot to him. This period was hardest to get by when she was not around with him and he wasn’t able to share her happiness and everything. He promised himself to get it right once he returned to Korea.

It was music bank, their first encounter after a long while. Donghae feels nervous when they finally met. Jessica smiled and bowed to s congratulating them except him. She turned away, avoided his intense stare. Donghae head hung low when she pretended that he wasn’t around. Eunhyuk placed a comforting pat on him, “Don’t give up.”

It was near to the end of the show, everyone was gathered together in the stage. Jessica tried her best to keep a distance length from Donghae. She doesn’t know if she is imagining things but she felt like he was watching her. When the winner was announced, it was cue for them to leave the stage which she was relief. She just couldn’t stand being so close with him. He was the one who caused her pain.

When walking to the exit, Donghae quickly walked by her side and once they entered the backstage, he grabbed her hand. Her heart beat accelerated and she tried to yank it. He refused to let go and dragged her to one corner.

“What do you want?” Jessica sounded impatient.  

“I just want you to listen to my explanation,” he begged.

She chuckled, “No I am not going to. You busted your chance I gave you. I won’t forgive you anyway.” She walked and then ran back. As she ran, she thought to herself, he must really have a reason for breaking up with me.

Donghae stood rooted onto the ground and watched her leaving him. He knew he deserve it and now he could totally understand how much it hurt when he left her too. This feeling but he’s not going to give up. 

***

TBC.

I'm sorry for taking too long and sorry to inform you that there will be another part to it so bear with me.

I will try to update asap. & thank you for your kind patience. 

xoxo