Yes! Despite my very very VERY busy schedule, I decided to update! =]

Again, i would like to reiterate that comments and subscriptions are necessary to keep this going.

And as proof, I would need about 6 comments from 6 different readers/subscribers before I post another chapter.

In this update, one thing is proven.

Something's up.

Play After School's "When I Fall" while reading.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3N9_Bo4-gw
= = =

November 11, 2010

I sighed as I looked at my now empty bottle of thirst quencher. I've been rehearsing really frequent now, ever since that meeting with Key-ah. Despite knowing that Key-ah is aware of me placing distance between SHINee and myself, I still am continuing to pull myself farther from them. I've been answering his calls and I text him back now, but I try to avoid anything that might put me in HIS way ever again.

However, all that was in my head quickly faded away when I spied a glance at my empty bottle again. Oh well, I guess I have to go to the vending machine for another, huh?

I screwed the cap back on the bottle before I threw it in the waste bin inside the room. I took my wallet and gripped it tightly before going out of my rehearsal room.

I kept on looking at my sides as I walked to the direction of the vending machine, holding onto my wallet even tighter. There's this unexplainable feeling inside of me right now, something that's been gripping my heart the moment I was no longer in the safety of my rehearsal room.

I don't know what it is, but I do know that it's not good...

that's why I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief when i finally reached my destination, opening my wallet as I got to where the chunk of metal was. I can't help but smile at the paper bills that met my sight when I opened it. This is the advantage of having the biggest entertainment company in Korea, and the most famous international recording company to support you financially. I don't experience being broke or deprived like any other Korean trainee, since the international company provides my needs, not SME.

Slipping some coins and pressing a few buttons, the bottle of thirst quencher finally went out of the machine. Just when I felt the cold bottle on my palm, my fingers preparing to twist the cap off, I noticed the presence of a man beside me. Now hyperaware of who this man might turn out to be, I looked at him...

...and saw the face of the man who almost killed me 9 days ago.

Fear and anger took over me as I gripped the bottle in my hands and swiftly walked away. If I didn't, I don't know what cruelty might have come out from lips, and what harsh action I might've done.

I thought I was already far enough from him when suddenly, I felt a force tug at my wrist, pulling me back. Deciding to give in, I felt myself come face to face with him once more.

"I don't know what you plan to do or say to me, Kim JongHyun-sshi. But I would really appreciate it if you let go of me. I don't know what I'm going to - - -"

"I'm sorry."

I was suddenly cut off by that single sentence from JongHyun-sshi and my eyes widened as what he said finally sunk in.

"You're what?" I asked in disbelief as the SHINee member released his grip on my wrist.

"I'm saying sorry. What I did to you was too harsh and seriously unforgivable, I know. But if things could get slightly better if I apologize, then I'm here to ask forgiveness." He said sadly, and I gasped as I saw tears building up in his eyes.

Two of the few things that I was weak to are crying and tears. That's why I couldn't stop myself when suddenly, I wrapped my arms around him, comforting him amidst his silence. I felt him hug me back, and not long after, sobs broke out from his frame.

"I really am so sorry, ShiRin-sshi. If there's anything at all that I could do to make it up to you. Please, don't hesitate to tell me." He said softly, still crying, and I pressed my lips into a line momentarily before answering.

"It's okay. Me, a girl you barely know, just stuck her nose into your business. Being a celebrity, I am certain you value privacy, that's why you went berserk over my words. I'm sure that anyone in your shoes would've been angry at me. No biggie." I whispered to his ear before letting go, sighing as I began my walk back to my rehearsal room, wallet and thirst quencher in hand. I smiled as I passed by him, who was still glued to the spot where he was standing, just looking at my retreating form.

I finally got back to my rehearsal room after a few moments of walking, and as I closed the door, I breathed a sigh.

I know that I have a soft spot for tears. but my heart beating faster than a galloping horse while he was in my arms, is that part of it?

= = =

November 13, 2010

"That's it. Thank you for your hard work, ShiRin-sshi."

That was the last statement of the production director as I finished wrapping up the final song in my mini-album. I have been at it now ever since three days ago. The management announced that the music video filming will be at the beginning of December, and choreography for my official debut track had already been taught to me last week. Everything is becoming more hectic nowadays. After all, I only have to endure only a month before I debut as a K-pop singer in January next year.

"Yes. Thank you as well for your efforts, Sunbae-nim." I told the director, earning me a nod and a smile.

I went out of the recording booth to go to the editing section. As always, I would listen at my recording first before letting the editors add everything else to produce my debut mini-album. As I went out of the booth, I took a look at my bag and fished for my phone. As I looked at it, I noticed that a message was received not too long ago.

I tried not to gasp as I looked at the number flashing in the screen of my phone.

Kim JongHyun-sshi.

-=- Ei, ShiRin-sshi. R U in the SME bldg ryt now? I'm @ the terrace of the 3rd flr, 2nd bldg in the complx. I nid 2 talk 2 U bout sumthing. -=-

I was having an internal debate to whether continue to the editing section or to go to the second building for JongHyun-sshi. But since my album is more important, I replied to his message as I walked down the corridor going to the editing section.

-=- Eh... I hv album making ryt now. But I'll B there. Just bout 15 mins. -=-

When I was done with listening to my recording, which I approved by the way, I began rushing down the hallways to go to the third floor of the second building. The moment I got to the terrace, I saw the form of a sad looking man as he tried to wipe his tears in the dark and stillness of the evening.

"JongHyun-sshi?" I asked to the form, and the male figure turned around, revealing the sender of the text message earlier.

"Yeh. I was back at the dorm earlier, but when it happened, you're the only one I could think of that could give me advice. So I went here." He told me as I went beside him and leaned along the railing of the terrace the same way as he did.

"What is IT that happened earlier?" I asked him, genuinely confused and curious about the event that happened while he was at SHINee's dorm earlier.

"Kyung-ah suddenly went to the dorm in tears. She kept telling me that she couldn't take it anymore because many people called her number threatening to kill her if she doesn't split up with me. I was really worried about this when I asked her to be my girlfriend. But at that time, I was still unaware of things that were bound to happen the moment she accepts my offer." He said, tears rolling down his cheeks as he spoke.

"The fans have been harsher than I thought. I guess I placed too much faith in them." He said softly before sighing, letting more tears flow down. Being weak to tears, I ran a hand up and down his back, hoping that the gesture could soothe him somehow.

"But look at the bright side. Many of the ShaWols, though some of them don't really like you having a girlfirend, support you in whatever decision you make. It's not all rainbows and butterflies for your relationship. But I guess it's not all snakes and spiderwebs either. Most of them are actually being mature." I told him, but even before I was through, he was already shaking his head.

"Most of them are being mature, true. But still, a fact remains. Kyung-ah is in a serious dilemma right now. I don't want to her to be in danger in the hands of Blingers, because I love her THAT much." He said, his voice breaking in some areas, and I could only sigh before taking him into my arms once more, just like how it was two days ago.

"I know. But if you REALLY love her and she loves you THAT much as well, I think both of you will stand up and fight for it. You have been instruments of happiness to many people that love you. But I guess that sometimes, you should have your own happiness too. Because when it all comes down to it, both of you are still normal, HUMAN, people." I said, smoothing my hand up and down his back again, sighing once more when he wrapped his arms around me and let his sobs out.

"Thank you very much, ShiRin-sshi. I really am grateful to you for being there for me when I need someone. I had already approached my co-members, but to put more pressure on their shoulders, I wouldn't be able to take that. It is already a big thing for me. Involving everybody else would just be too much and too selfish." He said when we pulled back from the embrace. Then, I caught hold of his stare.

He was looking straight into my eyes, like he was seeing something amazing through them. I wondered what this was, and internally, I tried to stop my heart from beating so fast.

Stop it. He's already taken. You CANNOT have feelings for somebody taken. And most of all, he is NOT your bias.

So don't bother.

Suddenly, our gaze was cut off when my cellphone rang. I fished it out from my pocket, putting a finger to my lips, motioning him to hush down, as I accepted the call and placed it on loudspeaker.

"HeeSung-ah, wae-yo? What's with the sudden call?" I asked HeeSung, my manager, on the line, looking at JongHyun-sshi in the process.

"I'm at your apartment right now. Your bags are already packed and we're leaving by plane tomorrow morning." She said in a serious tone, and I couldn't contain my shock as I screamed.

"Mworago?! Where are we going tomorrow?!" I asked frantically as I tried to find reasons in my head for us to leave urgently.

"Selene-ah, relax. We'll be going back to Japan because the management will officially schedule your debut there as well. We're going to talk about when your it will take place. Plus, we'll be staying there for about two to three weeks so we can visit our Aunt JinShi there. So make SURE to go back here to your apartment early, arasso?" She asked at the end, and I could only sigh as I saw JongHyun-sshi's face fall as he heard every single word of my manager.

"Arasso. I'm actually going right now. Anyways, I'll see you back there in the apartment, Hee Sung-ah. Bye!" I said before ending the call, growing more and more concerned with JongHyun-sshi's expression.

"I guess I couldn't hang out with you now, huh?" He asked sadly and I could only nod helplessly.

"Then promise me we'll always keep in touch while you're in Japan, and that we'll hang out when you return, okay?" He told me, a smile returning to his face. And at the sight of improvement, I nodded as well.

= = =

"It's about time you got home, ShiRin-ah." HeeSung-ah told me jokingly as I got back to my apartment. I just chuckled at her before flopping down on the couch. Gosh. It's really a pain in the neck when your manager just sneaks into your apartment to fix your stuff for an emergency flight the next morning.

"What took you so long? I called the PDs before I called you and they said that recording had already finished.." She told me, and I smiled at her.

"Well, JongHyun-sshi said sorry to me and I decided to forgive him. We talked a bit and he asked me for advice on stuff." I told her, explaining. She just nodded thoughtfully before huffing a sigh.

"ShiRin-ah, you better be careful with the SHINee member. He already has a girl. A good-looking and famous one to boot." She suddenly warned me, and I looked at her incredulously.

"Excuse me, HeeSung-ah. What makes you think I'll like JongHyun-sshi more than as a colleague? I'm not like you who's totally obsessed over Onew..." I trailed off, reminding her over that tiny crush she had for the SHINee leader. Yup, he's her bias. But she's not a crazy fangirl. I know my cousin enough to say that it isn't so.

"Yah! If SHINee was here and they heard that, I would've killed you." She threatened, but I just smirked at her, proving that I was unafraid of it. A few seconds later, we both burst into laughter.

"So, is it true that we're going to go to Japan tomorrow?" I asked her to change the topic, and she nodded.

"Yep. What I told you on the phone was true. You're gonna rehearse a Japanese version of your debut track there. They've already done the demo." She told me and I just sighed, trying to gather courage to face the coming day.

The hours pased and early morning of November 14, I boarded a plane with my manager to go back to Japan.

I said my goodbyes to LeeMyeong Abeonim, who had to stay in Korea for his work, and smiled as I looked at HeeSung-ah carrying my stuff. I began to walk away, but in a spur-of-the-moment decision, I looked back.

And believe it or not...

every single member of SHINee was there.