...and again I updated, despite the conflict with my sched.

Btw, this chapter will be having multiple OSTs. I would be using SHINee's "Best Place" as the main OST, so don't close the video link no matter what happens. x] The other one would be "Constantly" by M.Y.M.P which I used in a special part here. Once you see the notifications about the OSTs, please follow. =]

So, I have another title again, and it means there's something special in this chappie. =] Because I got inspired by this video, [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-1e91knIMg  ] I decided to input that into my story. And the time was SOOOO convenient. It happened around february, which so happens to be the month that I'm writing in. x]

oh yeah, btw, the comment replies are in my blog. for the comments of chapter 36 [ http://www.asianfanfics.com/blog/view/16686 ] and for the comments on chapter 37 [  http://www.asianfanfics.com/blog/view/16691  ]

Okay, here we go. =] the links shall be posted on the part when you'll be playing the OSTs and whatnot. =]

enjoy reading! <3

= = =
February 20, 2011
4:20 PM
InKiGaYo - SBS
'When It Was Me' Farewell Stage

....because I can remember when it.. was... me. When it was me...

The roar of cheers greeted me as I finished my goodbye performance, and officially end my 'When It Was Me' promotions. The promotion wasn't meant to last long anyways, since this was only a transition song for my next performance which would be on the 22nd of March. By then, I'd be releasing my first official album, which is composed of the songs for the "dark Selene" image, while about two songs from my mini-album would be bonus tracks.

When I straightened myself up, I looked at some faces of the MoonBeams, my fans in the crowd. Some were sobbing and obviously crying, others were giving me thumbs up, while others were simply smiling, but with tears building up in their eyes. I tried my best not to break down on the spot. So, I once again placed a smile on my lips and bowed lightly before exiting the studio.

"Selene-ah! Selene-ah! Selene-ah! Selene-ah!"

The audience continued to chant even after my performance, and the sound was audible even when I got to the dressing room. HeeSung-ah was waiting for me inside, and she hugged me tight when I got to her.

"Yah, ShiRin-ah, you'll perform for your fans in a few weeks time. You'll see them soon." She told me while running her hand up and down my back.

...Only then did I realize that I was already crying.

The feeling of separation from your fans, no matter how short it is, is painful. Now, I understand the heavy layer of truth under the "I miss you"s of idols to their supporters. I now know how much the artists would have to act just to put up a strong front before their fans.

And now, I kinda understand a bit more about what SHINee feels whenever they end promotions.

On the other hand, it's a big break for me, these few weeks I'll spend rehearsing for my dark Selene promotions. I could get more rest while in preparation.

And speaking of break...

"HeeSung-ah, before I went up on stage earlier, you told me that you have a gift for my break, right?" I turned to HeeSung-ah and asked her, to which she replied with a nod. I turned my back on her so that I could fix my things, but asked her another question not long after.

"So...what is it?" I said, zipping my bag up. I didn't hear a response from HeeSung-ah, and began to wonder why.

But suddenly, there was darkness. I tried to break free, but not long after, my hands were tied up too.

"Yah! Why am I in a blindfold?!"

Minutes passed and I felt myself being dragged into a vehicle. My mind began working out the situation. How can HeeSung-ah do this to me?! Kidnapping?! What have I done to her for me to be like this?!

After a while, I was pushed out of a vehicle, and sight was brought back to me. I quickly to turned around to punch whoever it was that did this, but my eyes widened as I saw a giggling HeeSung-ah and a face I didn't imagine who'd be there. SHINee's manager.

I looked at the place where I was in, and I can't help but gasp.

"What the heck am I doing in SHINee's dorm?!"

= = = PLAY SONG HERE = = =

SHINee - Best Place: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEr5VFGS3h8

February 20, 2011
4:35 PM
SHINee's Dorm

"Oh! Hyung! You're here!" I heard MinHo-yah exclaim from inside the dorm after the manager entered. I was staying by the corridor of their dorm, hidden from the view of the members.

"Yeh." The older man just said before asking a question adressed to everyone.

"So, you guys, are you ready for the SantaFe fanmeet?" He asked, and I heard answers of "Yeh!" and "Of course!" from inside the room, those certainly are the voices of Onew Sunbae and TaeMin-ah, respectively.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you guys. Key-ah will be going on ahead to the venue. He just got here from DaeGu and he'll be going back after the meeting." The manager said to everyone. I began to notice that only three of the members were the ones that the manager is talking to.

What about JongHyun Oppa?

"Jjong-ah, I know you wanted to go, but you also know that SME is hyped up over your leg and ankle. So, you have to stay here." The manager suddenly said to JongHyun Oppa, like it answered my question somehow.

"I know, Hyung. I'm just gonna practice my guitar here. No problem." I heard sadness in JongHyun Oppa's voice, and I guess the manager noticed it too because he spoke again.

"Don't be too sad about it, JongHyun-ah. The boys are gonna call you in the fanmeet, plus, I brought someone whom you'd LOVE to see." The magaer said, emphasizing the word "love".

I think the other members heard it because the other three began asking. I identified each one by the formality of their questions.

"Nuguseyo, Hyung-ah?" TaeMin-ah.

"Nuguseyo?" MinHo-yah.

"Nugu, Hyung-ah?" Onew Sunbae.

"That person... you'll see later when you get back here. For now, just get your things and let's go now. Else, we'll be late." The manager told the other three members who all muttered their share of "Awww, come on, Hyung-ah."s. When the younger members already left the dorm, the manager spoke to JongHyun Oppa again.

"Jjong-ah, I'll be leaving the house to you. As for the person I brought here, you can meet her at the corridor. Have fun." He said before exiting the door as well.

At that, my heartbeats began picking up pace. What would he say when he sees me?

Wait. Am I...freaking out?

My thoughts were suddenly cut off when I hear JongHyun Oppa's voice.

"ShiRin-ah?" He said, and as I turned to face him, he held me tightly in his arms with a smile on his face.

In the embrace, I felt that he kissed my cheek, but I disregarded it as his hold on me tightened. I just felt a smile crawl onto my lips as I buried my face in his neck.

= = =
February 20, 2011
7:10 PM
SHINee's Dorm

"...there."

I heard JongHyun Oppa say as he finished playing the guitar for me. I don't know what my expression was that time, but I was pretty sure that my jaw was dropped.

"Aigoo, ShiRin-ah. Why be all slack-jawed like that?" He said, and I immediately composed myself. I chuckled nervously, still not over the fact that how he played the guitar was great. It was even better than how HaeYoung Oppa played back in Tokyo Cultural High, or me during the music practical exams.

"Wait, you studied musical instruments back in Tokyo Cultural, right? Why not play something for me?" He said enthusiastically, and I tried to compose myself.

"Come on, ShiRin-ah!" He said, handing me his guitar. I breathed a sigh, my head looking for a song to play in my memory. As I felt the object in my arms, I remembered the song I played for the Music Exam.

"Ah. Constantly." I said as I tried to accustom myself to the guitar. JongHyun Oppa looked at me with a curious expression, and I just chuckled.

"It's the title of the song that I played on guitar for the Tokyo Cultural High music exams. It was originally done in guitar by an acoustic band in the Philippines, named M.Y.M.P. Anyway, I haven't played this for a long time, so I might commit a lot of mistakes here." I said, feeling flustered and nervous at the same time.

"It's fine. We all make mistakes. Go on, play." JongHyun Oppa told me, and I breathed deeply before beginning to play.

= = = PLAY THE VIDEO HERE = = =

M.Y.M.P - Constantly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24HsEaCh_Wo

As I continued on playing the chords of the song, I closed my eyes and let the memory of my music exams come rushing back at me.

I knew it was there, though I tried to hide it. But the feeling just kept on shining through.
Haven't known you that long, so I tried to deny it. But the feeling was much too, much too strong.
Could this be love? Deep down inside, tearing me apart, I feel it in my heart...
Constantly, you're on my mind. Thinking 'bout you all the time.
I can't sleep, no matter what I do, I just keep on thinking 'bout you.

That day, Arianna-chan admitted that she had a crush on Miko-kun, a full blooded Japanese in Tokyo Cultural, and she asked me to play this song for her, since I only play when no one's looking. It's one of the things that I don't announce in TCH, the fact that I can play about 4 musical instruments: guitar, flute, piano, and drums.

Until now, I didn't let anyone know. Only the students of TCH know this, and no news was allowed to leak back to Korea that I know how to play. I don't want to sound like I'm a prodigy or something. I already had a glitch in my brain, a glitch in playing musical instruments would just worsen stuff.

After the end of the chorus, I ended the playing. I opened my eyes and looked at JongHyun Oppa who had his eyes closed with a smile. Realizing that I already stopped playing, he opened his eyes and looked at me with his smile still evident.

"Wow. I would gladly die if you were gonna sing that song directed to me." He said, and I just chuckled while shaking my head. Seriously.

Suddenly, I saw JongHyun Oppa make a move to push away some loose strands of my hair away from my face. I didn't mind it at first, but as his face began to get closer and closer to mine, it was like something possessed me. My eyes began slowly closing until...

= = STOP THE VIDEO HERE AND CONTINUE "BEST PLACE"= = =

...JongHyun Oppa's phone rang.

"Aish." He muttered, ignoring the object and holding my face in his hands. But I knew better, I broke free from him and took his phone. Seeing that it was MinHo-yah on the caller I.D. I gave it to him. His face was confused at first, until he remembered that the other members would call him while they were in the fanmeeting.

"Yeobosaeyo?" He said as he answered his phone, and he instinctively moved his phone away from his ear. The fans must be screaming right now.

"Ah, ShinYoung Noona." He replied after a few moments.

"Yeh, Noona?" He asked, and after a few moments he said "Yeh, MinHo-yah?". He was having a hard time hearing because I saw that his expression was in a state of confusion. That was why after a few moments he exclaimed "Hold on a moment, fans! I can't hear you that well."

I guess the people on the other line didn't understand because he explained what he said previously by saying "Please be quiet for a moment because I can't hear you." He introduced himself after a short silence, saying "Hello, I am Bling Bling JongHyun of SHINee." and I guessed that they asked him to say hello.

He said "Yes, Noona?" afterwards, and I continued to watch him. I didn't know what happened next because he suddenly said "Aing" in a question form with a confused expression. I must admit, he looked cute while doing that. But suddenly, he faced me and did aegyo with a louder "Aing". My eyes widened at this. Another "Yes, Noona?" followed and an "Of course." after and I chuckled softly at his hyper mood while talking on the phone.

Silence enveloped him for a few moments as he breathed deeply before answering "I really miss them too." and then and there I remembered how true this statement is, especially to us celebrities. Another "Yes, Noona?" came out from him and he smiled while saying so, then suddenly, he reacted saying "You're hanging up already?". I smiled at how crestfallen he was saying that.

He suddenly said "You can't hear me? Noona, can you not hear me?" and then looked at his guitar which I placed down beside him before continuing with "Today...I...usually play guitar at home everyday. I'll play a bit since I want to show the fans." I understood that he needed someone to hold his phone, and I held out my hand. He gave his phone to me, smiling as he did so and got his guitar. With a short "Me? I'll start." He began playing the song he played earlier, and I smiled at how cute he was being.

Suddenly, he gently hit the strings of the guitar, signalling that he stopped playing and said "Up to here!" and I gave him his phone. After a "Neh?" he began to say his final words of "Everyone, I'm really...how should I say it? I'm very sorry that I wasn't able to go today. After my leg heals quickly... let's meet as we smile!" which was followed by a "Yeh, Noona?" and an "Okay, bye!". With that, he hung up.

"Yah, thanks for holding my phone earlier." He said, and I just smiled at him, now gathering up my stuff.

"Uhm, Oppa, I think I'll be taking my leave now. Thanks for the dinner earlier and the song." I said, standing up from the couch of the SHINee dorm. I turned to leave but I heard shuffling suddenly.

"Oh no. I'm not letting you go, ShiRin-ah." I heard a deep and husky voice say from behind me. I felt myself being turned around...

...And I felt JongHyun Oppa's lips collide with mine.