I'm going to update this story today. =]

Haha. I think I'll be updating this story on a weekly basis already. emphasis on THINK. x]

I hope everyone will brace yourselves on the reality Selene presents in this chapter.

Because the man who will be mentioned here is actually a real person. A man really close to my heart.

I would like to guarantee that his story will be edited to fit Selene's life, but still the thought of the situation is still there.

So, for this very sad chapter, I REQUIRE every reader to read this with the OST of "Your Eyes" by Super Junior. x]

ttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LHxDaTHkIE

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This chapter is dedicated to Mr. Kee Mosalam, the man in Nette's heart. May your soul rest in peace.

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"Mworago?! What do you mean?!" I asked, shock evident in me, as I pushed JongHyun Sunbae away with all of my strength.

"It is just as what I said. Someone tried to kill her today." He said softly. The pain was visible in his features, and the tears had their usual effect on me.

Just like the time when he said sorry, I couldn't help my mouth as it opened.

"Come on in. Tell me everything."

He nodded as I took my keys from my bag and slipped it in the hole of the doorknob. As I opened the door, my whole apartment came into view, and I let him in.

"Sit there on the couch. I'll just prepare something."

He did as I told and I went to the kitchen, pouring water inside a kettle and letting it boil. While the water was heating up, I took the tea bags I had, and set up two cups. Then, I took some honey from my refrigerator. When the water was finally warm enough, I poured it into the cups with the tea bags.

Why was I doing this?

This was because making honeyed tea for me was something that LeeMyeong Abeonim did when I found out that death took someone I love away.

And surprisingly, I calmed down.

JongHyun Sunbae might not have experienced exactly what I did, but with what he told me, the feeling's close to mine.

And with what I felt before, I knew it wasn't pretty.

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As I finished preparing the honeyed tea, I brought it to my Sunbae, who had his face in his hands.

"Sunbae, here is a cup of honeyed tea. It actually works wonders when you've seen death almost take away someone." I said, and as he took his hands away from his face, I almost dropped the cup.

It was worse now than a few moments earlier.

He took it with both hands and braved a drink, and I can't help but smile as his sobs lessened, and the tea began to calm him down.

"Okay, tell me what happened." I said as I sat beside him. He placed the cup on the coffee table and sighed.

I noticed that he's feeling flimsy and weak, probably because of the situation. So, once again, my body took the better of me, and I let his head rest on my shoulder. A few moments after, he began to talk.

"It was horrible..."

"What was horrible?" I asked him in a soft voice.

"Kyung-ah and I were having a date earlier this afternoon, but her friends called her after about an hour, saying that one of their former high school classmates died of Leukemia just then, so despite the worried looks she gave me, I told her that she can go to the hospital. She climbed into her car, and drove away." He began telling me, and I almost gasped at the conclusion I had in mind, but let him continue telling me his story.

"While she was on the road, she told me that she thinks that there's something wrong with the car. I disregarded it then, but I wish I hadn't. Her car broke down in an unfamiliar street, and somehow, I lost connection with her. I began to get worried, worried sick actually, until suddenly, her manager called me. He told me something that made me drop my phone to the ground and kneel down in pain..." He continued, and I held my breath in, knowing for sure what was gonna happen.

Someone attempted to kill her in that unfamiliar road, and thinking at how hardcore some Blingers were, it's probable that it's them.

"Her manager told me that when Kyung-ah decided to step out of the car so that she can look at the problem, she got pinned to the door of her car by a girl. Kyung-ah tried not to scream as she saw the girl put a blade to . Some people saw the situation and decided to help out. When the woman was already reported to the police and she was already safe, her manager arrived and took her home. It pained me that I couldn't be there to protect her. That should've been me who saved her. but I wasn't there. If no one saw it, then she would've died..." He trailed off, and I can only sigh, confirming my suspicions.

"It's a Blinger, isn't it?" I can only ask, and as I felt him nod on my shoulder, I sighed once more.

"I tried calling her afterwards. I even went to her home. But she didn't want to meet me. I kept blaming myself for this, this... THING that happened to her. I hate it! She wouldn't let me even comfort her!" He shouted before he cried, the scene was surprisingly familiar.

That's how I was when HE died.

Before I knew it, a sarcastic side of me took over, and I said something that made him stop crying and look at me with a confused expression.

"If you act like that when her life was just endangered, then I wonder what you'll look like when someone you love really DOES die."

I quickly covered my mouth after that cruel sentence came out of my lips, and Sunbae suddenly reached out for my face and wiped my tears away.

Only then did I know that I was crying.

"Why, Selene-ah?" He asked me, and I turned away from him, trying to calm myself from my tears. But the moment he held my hand in his, I broke down and told him everything.

"He died. And it's all because of me."

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"Wait. Selene-ah, tell me properly. Who's he?" JongHyun Sunbae asked me, and I wiped the tears from my eyes before answering.

"Well, before I had first come to train here in S.M.E, I actually left a pained part of me behind. It was because just a week before I got here, I went to Singapore to visit someone. It was the man I loved way before I had a chance to actually think deeply of my future." I told him, and he looked at me with an even more confused expression.

"But didn't you say that almost all your life, you spent it fulfilling your mom's death wish?" He asked me, and I nodded.

"That is true. But there was a point in time that I loved a man too. He was a half-Chinese, and then, he lived in Singapore. We met because of a cousin's efforts. While I exhausted almost all of my strength to become a star, I loved him simultaneously and secretly. But LeeMyong Abeonim didn't want me to be sidetracked. He eventually knew about my relationship, so he wanted us to break up. I had to, for he told me that I had to choose between my mom and him. As always, I chose my mom."

"Back then, Abeonim had a girlfriend, and she supported me when I decided to try the relationship again with him a few months afterwards. I thought everything was going to be fine." I told Sunbae, and he smoothed my hair before asking me.

"But what happened?" He asked me, and I felt tears flow down my cheeks before I answered.

"My friends introduced me to listening to SHINee. I finally knew through you guys that achieving my dream was even more important now, rather than matters of the heart. Especially you. You had to work for fame first before you looked for the one your heart needs. You were that kind of person. I learned it from SHINee..." I trailed off as I wiped my tears.

"I broke up with him, now feeling that I shouldn't have been sidetracked. I should've followed LeeMyeong Abeonim. Days passed, and I saw his updates in his minihompy, saying that he's having a hard time. He doesn't want to love anymore, and that he can't take the pain any longer. Everyday, I kept crying in this same apartment, wondering why he was that sad that I left him. I love him still, but I felt that I shouldn't seek love now. I was going to apologize to him." I said, sobbing afterwards.

The memories rushed back to me, and I felt my heart split into two. Again.

"But a few weeks after, I heard the news from his little sister. He never woke up from his sleep one day, and his remains got cremated after a few days of wake. I kept blaming myself for the incident. I waited for the nightmares to come. I waited for him to haunt me. But he never did, and that was more painful for me. Even his spirit never made me cower in fear because he respected my decision, in a way." I continued to say, and I held my face in my hands, trying my best not to cry.

If I didn't break up with him, could that mean that he would still be alive?

"Never did Abeonim or his girlfriend blame me. Even when Abeonim and her broke up, she kept calling me, saying that I wasn't to blame. But I can't help but feel somehow responsible. Everything happened to me two years go, and until now, I never forgot about him. That is why I never wanted to love again. I never want to be sidetracked again. I don't want to take someone's life, just like what I did with him." I said, wiping the last of my tears away, finally deciding to stop crying.

"I met you guys afterwards, and because of how SHINee treated me as a really close friend, I began to have hopes for loving once more. But those memories kept restraining me from trying again. It doesn't help me that his name was actually pronounced similar to a SHINee member's stage name. I guess that's why I'm particularly close with that member. I know that he thinks of me as a friend. I'm sure of it, and when I'm sure of it, things become the truth. I think you know that by now." I said, my tears now under control, even quoting his situation back then and how I predicted the reality, just because I was sure that it was bound to happen.

"I know. Which is why I think you are better at facing this kind of stuff than I am. You had it way harder than what I'm feeling now, but you still smiled, and acted like you're the noona to all of us. You were able to smile and joke, even when the pain still stayed with you for two years. You're a strong girl, Selene-ah. And, I know for sure that whoever would have a chance to love you, will probably be the luckiest guy in this world." He told me, and I somehow managed a smile at his remark.

"But on a side note though, for now, things went the right way. You acted like the Oppa, I the dongsaeng." I said, and he smiled as well before nodding.

"By the way, which SHINee member had the same pronunciation of HIS name?" He asked me, and just then, my phone rang. I took it out from my bag and looked at the caller I.D. JongHyun Sunbae trailed behind me, and he gasped as I smiled sadly, looking at my phone.

It was like fate keeps bringing me irony. For HIS name appeared on the screen. That SHINee member must probably be done with arranging his papers for Daegu.

I just sighed softly before answering JongHyun Sunbae, keeping my eyes on the name flashing.

"Key.”