Hey everyone. x] I haven't updated lately, right? =]

It's because I've been busy with school, as always. I had a REGIONAL extemporaneous speaking contest last Saturday.

Thank GOD I won, and I will be going to the Nationals on February 2011. x]

Besides that, I'm a teacher counterpart in the Boys and Girls Week of our school.

You might think it's all fun, but no. It isn't.

You actually have to take the same exams your classmates have EVEN if you are a teacher.

So technically, you are not exempted when you are SUPPOSED to be exempted.

Instead of being able to study, I had to do my lesson plan and other teacher stuff.

Isn't life JUST UNFAIR?

But anyway, since you guys waited for me, this chapter would be a treat.

For this is the chapter that will spark the fire between the Sunbae and the Hoobae.

I strongly recommend you listen to my OSTs while reading, but if you don't want to, that's fine with me too. x]

Anyway, here's the debut song of Selene-ah: Ain't No Other Man! x]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAUz-Vh38Js

= = =

December 8, 2010

A deep breath.

Calm yourself down.

Voice ready.

Check your clothes.

Music cue.

-=- Heyyyyy, yeahh. -=-

Slide, snap, slide-and-snap.

"I could feel it from the start! Couldn't stand to be apart. Something 'bout you caught my eye! Something moved me deep inside..."

The words came continuously from my lips as I sang the beginning of my first vocal debut: Ain't No Other Man. Gosh, even in the beginning, there are already high notes!

I had a mic stand in front of me, the object of my dance routine. Yes, even in a song as voice-taxing as this, I have to somehow DANCE.

Wait. Stop thinking of anything else. Just perform.

Slide down, slightly run your hands down the stand, hold the mic as you do it, come back immediately.

"Ain't no other man, can stand, up next to you. Ain't no other man, on the planet, does what you do..."

I sang my chorus, now taking the mic off its stand and going in front of it. This had been my 12th run of the song in 2 and a half hours. But, it felt like something was wrong. Definitely wrong.

But truthfully, I don't know what. Is it another eye watching me?

"Ain't no other man, it's true. Ain't no other man but you."

My moves were already refined. My vocals were good. Especially good today, actually. But it's like I'm somehow... distracted?

Aish. Never mind. Continue with the number. It might just be the nerves getting to me.

I placed a hand by my head and slid it down as I sang. Just like what choreographer Sunbae taught me. I haven't done anything wrong yet.

So, why was I distracted?

Just then, I found out the reason why.

I heard murmurs a distance behind me. It came from the side of the rehearsal door, specifically.

"Whoah. She has vocals even better than you, Kyu!"

"For the first time, I actually agree."

"Yup hyung. I'd go for her any day."

"Aish, stop it, all of you. She might hear us!"

Too late. I already did.

I turned behind me, abandoning the music and sneakily went to the door of the rehearsal room. It was cracked open just a little bit, so I hid behind it.

"Whoah. Where did she go?" I heard a soft voice ask, and I smirked before getting a hold of the doorknob and yanking the door open.

The sight shocked me.

Four men fell down on the floor, one on top of the other.

But what shocked me more was that these guys were familiar.

Really familiar.

"Aish. I told you she'll hear us." I heard a familiar voice say, and I tried to supress my chuckles.

"But they didn't listen to you, JongHyun Sunbae. And that's what all of you get for sneaking a peek at my rehearsal." I told the man who was on top of the other three, and tried not to laugh as every single guy struggled to get to their feet.

"I-I... I'm... uhh..." He stuttered as he awkwardly put a hand behind his head.

I admit that he looks cute while doing that. But in this situation, I don't think so.

"Well, we're sorry. Ever since the ban on interrupting your rehearsals was put in effect, I couldn't visit you. When I decided to break the rules once, these three begged to tag along." JongHyun Sunbae said sadly, and at his pitiful face, I just laughed before stepping aside.

"You could've just nodded and asked. The impose of the ban was requested by me, and since it was me who started it, I could break it anytime." I smiled before letting the four men come inside my practice room.

Yes. I asked for a ban to be imposed in SME for no one to visit me while I'm rehearsing. It's because many classmates of mine here in Korea dropped by often to see me after news spread that I'm training in SME. I called my former high school once for a copy of my form 137, and news spread around like wildfire when I said it's needed for SME's files.

Those two-faced people. What they want here is a glimpse of the idols. Not me.

Anyway. So much for that...

The moment JongHyun Sunbae went to the other three men did I find out who they are.

Oh. My. Gosh.

Is this... S.M THE BALLAD?!

"Oh yeah. You probably wondering why these guys prodded me to bring them. Well, I snuck here once and took a short video of you rehearsing. So, yeah. This guy here..." He began, nudging Cho KyuHyun and pausing for a bit.

"...took my phone, trying to tease me. He looked into the videos and found that video of you. Since then, he BEGGED me to let him see you. The other members followed suit." He said, and now, it was the Super Junior member's turn to awkwardly scratch his head.

Crazy JongHyun Sunbae. He already exposed things about an idol like Cho KyuHyun, yet he hasn't introduced me to them yet?

"Well, since you haven't gotten the idea that there's still no introduction happening, I'll start." I said, and I bowed in front of my Sunbaes.

"Annyeonghaseyo. Jeoneun Song Shirin-imnida. You can call me Selene." I said as I paid respects to the three men. One by one, they bowed and extended a hand.

"Annyeong, Selene. Jay-imnida. TRAX vocalist." Jay Sunbae said, and I took his hand and shook it twice.

"Annyeong, Selene. Jino-imnida." Jino Sunbae said, following Jay Sunbae, shaking my hand with a smile.

"Annyeong, Selene. KyuHyun-imnida. Super Junior member." KyuHyun said last, and shook my hand with the both of his hands. Truthfully, my heart stopped beating when he did that. Why?

Well... if your bias in Super Junior just did that to you, wouldn't your heart stop as well?

I just smiled at the Super Junior maknae as he shook my hand repeatedly. I never expected our hands to be holding one another's for so long, until a very annoyed JongHyun Sunbae broke it off.

"I'm so sorry. Jwesonghamnida. Chinjaro... Jwesonghamnida." I repeatedly apologized when the irritated Sunbae suddenly had a hold of my hand. Every other member of S.M. The Ballad broke out into laughs at this.

Suddenly, everything was cut off short as a call hinted Jay Sunbae to go because TRAX has something to attend to. Jino Sunbae had to go home because of an errand. KyuHyun Sunbae just received a text from LeeTeuk Sunbae saying he had to return to the dorm. Everyone said rushed goodbyes to me and JongHyun Sunbae as they left the both of us one by one.

When there was nobody in the room, I felt the hold on my hand begin to tighten. I turned my head to look at JongHyun Sunbae...

...just to find him close to tears.

= = =
Proud : BDSK

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1I5yyWTJHA0

"Ei, Sunbae..." Were the only words that came out from my lips as my body came in contact with his for the second time as he held me in his arms. I felt his tears on my shoulder, his hold on me become tighter, and I knew then and there that he needed a friend.

He's weak right now. And as expected as it might sound...

... I think I already have an idea about the reason why.

"What did SeKyung-sshi do this time?" I asked him, and I sighed as I heard him sob.

"She said... that everything's becoming unclear now." He said in a tone of a broken man. Well, truthfully, she hit him hard this time.

"What do you mean 'everything's becoming unclear'?" I asked him, and after a few sobs, I finally got an answer.

"Kyung-ah suddenly called me today, asking if I could meet up with her. I felt so much joy because then, I'd be able to talk to her again after almost two weeks. I'd be able to ask for an apology..." He began, and my eyes furrowed in confusion at this. If SeKyung-sshi had already allowed him to see her, then, shouldn't he be happy right now?

But the statement once again registered in my head.

Everything's becoming unclear...

"Wait. So you're telling me that she's... breaking up with you?!" I almost screamed as I tried to get away from the hold he had on me. At my struggles, the tears in his eyes spilled over.

Oh my. It IS true.

"If she's breaking up with you... then... what's gonna happen now?" I asked JongHyun Sunbae, who got onto his knees in pain.

"I don't know what to do anymore, Selene-ah! I don't know what this pain is! I just...wanna...die!"

I can't help but gasp at the sight. Kim JongHyun, one of the strongest members of SHINee in terms of emotions... crying? Wanting to die?!

I haven't felt this kind of sadness that he's feeling, just because I was the one in SeKyung-sshi's place then. I was the one who let go.

Little by little, it was like I finally saw Kee-yah in JongHyun Sunbae.

And it scared me, shook me to the core.

Will I let another man die because of girls like me?

Will I let JongHyun Sunbae, who has his whole life ahead of him, a bright career, stretching out in front of him, just be like Kee-yah?

No.

That's why I can't help but break out into tears as well as I knelt in front of JongHyun Sunbae and took him into my arms.

I felt him suddenly stop crying when his body meshed with mine, and I can't help but cry in front of him. In the back of my mind, I began asking myself questions. Will I be able to prevent my Sunbae from becoming like the man I loved?

In 3 seconds flat, as I felt him hold me back, I answered it.

I might not be sure about how, but I'll do my best to make him think twice.

"Sunbae, don't be like Kee-yah. Please...for me.... for your Hoobae at least..."

"ShiRin-ah..." I heard JongHyun Sunbae whisper, and more tears spilled over from my eyes.

He sounded like him at that moment. The moment he told me he loved me...

...more than his life.

"I promise. I won't follow Kee-sshi's footsteps. I. won't. die." He told me, enunciating every word, as his hand ran through my hair. I felt him smile at me, and even in my tears, happiness swept through my heart.

Happiness that is new to me invaded my system. This is joy that I haven't felt before.

Is this... my salvation from pain?

"I promise. I'll stay alive."

He continued to say, and as my tears stopped, I felt myself breaking out into a smile.

"Thank you, Sunbae. Thank you." I continued to say as my arms tightened around his form. He did the same, and as I felt his lips at my ear, I closed my eyes, retaining the smile on my face.

"For you, I'll stay alive."