Request #39. Sway10 - the show is over (that's where we begin) (Hyunjin/ Lee Know) 220418 - 220425

Your request was: Idol AU (they are normal idols, so set in real life), fluff, romance, cute. They get an offer to play in a Kdrama where they have to play gay characters. (at first they didn't know that it was gay). They slowly start falling in love like the characters they play. Their band members support them/make funny jokes about their scenes on screen.

It was a scorching summer day in the middle of June, everyone seemed to have this unanimous determination to finish work as soon as possible. Busy hands and feet were all around Hyunjin's surrounding, in his vision clear of makeup artists; they were still somewhere else getting the tools that they needed to make him look prettier on screen. He got enough of his phone, of the poor crumpled script laying idly on top of the little desk among miscellaneous items from the staff crew - he had memorized his lines like the back of his hand in the van on the way here already.

Despite his efforts, after mere seconds of trying to take in the precious moment of hardworking staff members that he came to love a little bit too much, he couldn't shrug off the fact that those busy motions only added onto the overwhelming pile of emotions that he had yet to fully surmount, and it took the best of him, so he closed his eyes and told himself to calm down, to let all these sounds get buried to the back of his mind.

He had to figure out how to deal with his own emotions. Ridiculous isn't it, and bizarre even, to think that the past him would never expect the present him to turn out this way.

It all started two months ago, when they had just finished promotions for their latest comeback. Only he and Minho got called to the company, got told that they were offered to star in a short youth drama, each got handed over the script book for episode 1 along with a folder of unsigned contract from the broadcasting station.

"I say we do it." Hyunjin was the first one to finish skimming the script, save for the fact that he completely skipped the entire latter half of it. Putting down the slim book on the table perhaps a bit too carelessly while turning his face towards the older member to his right, he nudged Minho's arm with his elbow. "Hm?"

"It's not like we have a choice." Minho simply shrugged, eyes still glued on what seemed like a quarter of the book, not at all burdened by Hyunjin's little gasp or the abashed look displayed on the staff members on the opposite end of the conference table.

Minho had always been on the blunt side, but it didn't mean Hyunjin or any other people knowing him would be any less amazed with it every time he opened his mouth.

"Obviously," Hyunjin forced out what sounded like a harmless chuckle as he gave the staff a quick glance before looking back at Minho, who was still indulged in the contents in front of his eyes, "but aren't you excited about it? This is gonna be a new experience for the both of us. Better than dancing our feet off in the practice room everyday."

"We don't just practice everyday," Minho corrected him, finally setting the script down to look back at Hyunjin, and his lips twitched up in a lopsided smile, "but sure why not. At least it's gonna be easy for me getting to be myself, playing your rival."

And it was simple like that, with Hyunjin bickering with Minho about who would get to win by the end of the drama, they signed the contracts, and let themselves swamped with drama preparations and filming for the next two months.

Save for the fact that working with the filming crew was a whole new experience as opposed to music shows and the like, the biggest twist of it all— to be technical, it wouldn't have been so much of a twist if both of them paid attention to the genre listed right at the front page of that script and how they were the main protagonists together— was the fact that they were bound to kiss each other in the finale.

It was when they were acting out a scene in episode 2, Hyunjin's character tripped and Minho's character frantically caught the former by his waist, but both of them ended up on the hard ground floor of the basketball court, with Minho on top of Hyunjin and they had to film the scene where they looked at each other double times as much as the tricky action scene prior itself.

"Are you thinking about what I'm thinking about right now?" Somehow Hyunjin managed to understand what Minho was talking about, despite the muted 'b' sounds and other mispronounced words as Minho whispered through his completely still, half-opened mouth. It was a scene where the editors would mute the audio and dub it with some romantic music in the background, so practically Minho wasn't ruining it.

Seeing Minho's soft eyes and hearing his panic-laced voice escaping from his unmoving mouth like a ventriloquist at the same time like this would make Hyunjin burst out laughing at any given instance, but not when the older was literally hovering on top of Hyunjin. Trapping his gaze with Minho's own, scantily any distance between their faces. Hyunjin was more occupied with the scarry realization that he was silently enjoying Minho's steady breath brushing the surface of his heated cheeks. And he almost forgot what Minho was talking about.

He hummed in response because that's the only thing he could do with a fully closed mouth, not that he would like to be under the pressure to talk either way.

The scene went by unexpectedly quickly to Hyunjin's observation, they got up and went straight to the director to ask if their characters were going to end up falling in love with each other.

"They already are," the director told them, looking amused as ever probably because Hyunjin dropped his jaw and Minho simply just opened his eyes a bit wider, just gawking.

It was too late, there was no turning back.

Both of them didn't take it in very well at first, complaining their way to their manager and JYP staff. Then Minho got tired of it, so he got over it more quickly than Hyunjin did.

"Let's just roll with it" was what Minho told him, a bit too nonchalantly for his liking, but Hyunjin understood the older enough to know Minho was always on a calmer, more rational side. "It's just acting after all."

Hyunjin knew, and Minho knew that he knew, but he liked to throw tantrums as a form of releasing stress and what he thought was unfair. He liked to be dramatic. Be sound about his discomfort knowing well Minho would be there to calm him down. It came to the point where he didn't know if he was whining because he genuinely found playing a gay character a burden, or because he just whined so that his bandmate would give him attention.

Hyunjin was like that, he liked attention. Liked getting love from his bandmates, not just Minho, but especially the introverted ones like Minho. He liked fishing out reactions from Minho, he felt good about getting close to people.

He felt good about getting close to just about anyone, but especially those who seemed harder to get (he blamed it on the opposites attract ideology he got from some webtoon that he read years ago, probably). Now that they got to work together, just the two of them, Hyunjin felt good about getting closer to Minho.

... maybe a little less the parts where he and Minho had to act out whatever intimate scenes the scriptwriter churned out in those damn scripts. He would be lying if he didn't take deep breaths every time a new script for each new episode was handed over.

Despite that, he initially thought it was going to be fine. They did skinship with each other and with everyone else in the group for god knows how many times each day on Vapp, music shows and variety shows and in concerts. Minho was even more comfortable with it than Hyunjin himself, from the way Minho never hesitated and would almost always be the first one to initiate it. It was an open secret among SKZ and the people working with them that Minho was into guys. Minho was just that obvious. Shameless, if Hyunjin had to put it bluntly. And it would usually be the most comfortable to act with shameless people in intimate scenes. You get to relax around them. Be less self-conscious, be aware that this is all just an act.

He thought.

But life never goes according to plan. His mind failed his own will. And he wouldn't dare blame it on Minho. The boy had always been there, just that Hyunjin only got the chance to discover so much from working closely with the other. Observing little traits that normal activities with the whole group would be buried under easily. Finding those traits endearing. Feeling like Minho had gotten along with himself much better.

"Where's your makeup stylists?" Minho's voice snapped Hyunjin out of his thought bubbles about Minho, and before he could react anything else aside from jolting his whole body up from his padded wooden folding chair, Minho was already in front of him, folded towel in his hand rubbing against Hyunjin's chin down to his neck. "You're sweating beads."

There Minho went. Making Hyunjin question his sanity and how his body reacted in such a freakish way. The thought of Minho possibly having used this towel prior flashed his mind, and his body heated up even more as though the sun was burning brighter, and he knew he was just making things up to disregard Minho's presence being that source of internal heat inside him.

"Not sure." He replied curtly, though his voice came out too meek and timid. He was relieved when Minho didn't seem to pick on his subtle nervousness. But a little something in him crumbled when Minho withdrew his hand from his neck to settle down on a chair next to his.

It had been a recurring problem lately, ever since he was aware of the growing feelings that he had harbored for Minho. He never truly dated anyone and he didn't know how loving someone felt like. Until Minho worked closely with him and made his heart thumping the way it was right then just from a mere towel rub. Presumptuous he might be, but if it wasn't love he was feeling, then he didn't really need love as much as he needed Minho.

And this fact upsetted him.

"Are you ready for our last scene?"

Because Minho had zero interest in him. Nothing more than friendship. All of his affections were just brother-like. Like he was treating his younger brother. Hyunjin knew it.

Because who in the world would be so nonchalant talking about the kiss scene with their acting partner like it was nothing at all?

"Not really." Hyunjin blurted out in the middle of his cloudy thoughts before he could stop himself.

"Why?" Concern laced with Minho's tone, and Hyunjin didn't dare look at the other's eyes, so he kept immobile on his seat. "We just ran a quick rehearsal with the director minutes ago."

They did. And Hyunjin momentarily imagined Minho's lips on his again for the nth time of the day. They didn't actually kiss during rehearsals, just facing each other close enough to stimulate the scene, the feels, and the camera angles.

It wasn't going to be their first kiss scene. They had kissed two times prior for the drama, both were brief yet Hyunjin suffered either sleepless nights or inappropriate dreams because of them. And yet there Minho was, posing a question as though he thought Hyunjin was an acting machine without feelings.

Hyunjin only held in a sigh. See, Minho was oblivious. Too oblivious. Dense, if one must be honest. Another problem for Hyunjin, because he found it cute of all things.

"Are you not feeling good somewhere?" Minho asked again, impatience hinted at his voice as Hyunjin kept silent for perhaps a little longer than expected.

Just stop giving me false hope, please. "I mean the makeup." Hyunjin huffed, faking his direction of annoyance towards something else but Minho.

"Oh yeah, right." Minho chuckled, the little crease in his brows disappeared. "You look good already though. You always do."

Oh god, he wasn't sure what he was feeling anymore.

It only got worse when they got to act finally, in front of the camera and a bunch of people behind it. Looking at the actors closely, monitoring every single of their movements to make sure everything looked good on screen. Hyunjin had gone far enough to ignore all the spectators and the cameras, and the only concern he had wasn't really about his acting itself, but the fact that this was going to be their last kiss. Ever. This was the last time Minho was ever to kiss Hyunjin. And all would be over.

There was nothing going on between them to begin with. All the more he wanted to cherish this final chance he had as the closest he could get to something like being Minho's man.

It was the fourth time they kissed, just to get another angle for the scene. Minho's mouth fitted his own perfectly, or it was thanks to practiced comfort. All of their kisses were on the gentle, light side, where there was only lips on lips. All for the audience rating purposes. For their last kiss scene, however, the director did tell them to open their mouths a little bit, so Hyunjin did as told, and they seemed to be doing well, better than expected.

It was when the kiss dragged on a bit too long, much longer than the previous attempts, that Hyunjin knew the director was about to shout "cut" and made it the final, true end to their filming, that when Minho was the first one to break the kiss, he lurched forward, arms locking behind Minho's back, pulling him close for the desperate hug Hyunjin failed to restrain himself.

"Cut!" The voice coming from the director was loud and clear, just as enthusiastic as always when he was satisfied and some more, "Hyunjin, I really like that ad-lib! We can definitely use this cut, right Ms. Kim?"

The question was directed towards the scriptwriter that was next to the director and Hyunjin couldn't care less. It wasn't his intention to make the hug an ad-lib. He was just over-melancholic, and he needed somebody, just anybody to hold him and be his hide spot to let his tears flow out.

And Minho was just the perfect person for the spot.

He hugged back and let Hyunjin cry to his heart's content. He never made fun of Hyunjin for crying like a baby on his shoulder, like how he would normally make fun of things. Never mentioned the discomfort it must have been with the front chest of his shirt soaked in tears and snot. Never broke the peaceful silence inside the van back to their dorms unless when he had to answer the manager for himself and for Hyunjin. Never letting go of Hyunjin's hand, squeezing it from time to time while stealing glances to check on the younger.

Hyunjin never wanted to let that hand go. But time waited for no one and it went by unrealistically fast when one was trying to hold onto the current moment as much as he could.

So time came and Minho let go of the only part of Hyunjin that felt warm.

Only to take a random jacket hanging on the back row and put it on, wrinkly traces of Hyunjin's outburst of emotions thereby invisible to the world, on a. Scorching. Summer. Day.

God, who was he kidding?

He was absolutely, helplessly, pathetically in love.

***

"So you fell for Minho first?" Seungmin voiced out and everyone in the living room either chuckled, laughed, or added on to what seemed to them a harmless joke. Hyunjin instinctively glanced over Minho's direction, as if he would be able to look at Minho's reaction even though he was sitting on the sofa while Minho was in front of it, right next to Jeongin who was resting his head on the inner of Hyunjin's knee.

From what Hyunjin could see from the back, Minho only shook his shoulder ever so slightly as in chuckling in response to the crowd's teasing, not once tearing his gaze from the TV screen in front of them. Which was good, because Hyunjin could feel his blushing cheeks by the way they were heating up, not really because of the scene of him gawking at Minho in a drenched shirt in the rain that just caused the pack a ruckus, but because he took that joke perhaps a bit too personally.

He clutched onto Felix's arm who was next to him and hid as much of his face as possible, because some of the boys were still looking at him, fishing for a reaction to keep the teasing. "What do you mean me and Minho. It's Minhyung and Donghyuck!"

It seemed like only Felix and Chan could hear him as the rest continued to be all giddy, phones on their hands ready to capture any moments they could find so that they could tease the idol actors later on, just like that rain scene a minute ago. And Hyunjin predicted it could only get worse from then on, so he made a mental official notice to himself that after this episode 2, he would not watch the drama with his bandmates anymore and rather monitor it on his own, alone.

So that was exactly what he did the next week, skipping watching the drama together with the others (he told them he wanted to prepare for the next day's schedule in Music Core and nobody raised questions, much to his relief) but instead locking himself in his room, indeed streaming the drama's latest released episode on his phone, just monitoring his acting and being simultaneously maybe just a tiny bit jealous over the romance his own character was able to experience with the Lee Minho.

He was barely ten minutes into the episode when a gentle knock was heard on the door, and another more gentle than the first came right after.

"Who's that?"

Hyunjin asked, hurriedly yet quietly grabbed the MC script stack on top of the nightstand to his left, flipping to a random page somewhere in the middle and having it held steady in his hands, when Minho's voice came through from the other side, "it's me."

Upon hearing Minho's voice, he immediately turned sideways, his back facing the door. Holding onto the script a tad bit tighter, genuinely praying that Minho was coming with someone else, he exclaimed, "the door is unlocked."

The door opened up after what seemed like a one-second delay, then he heard footsteps - and Hyunjin thought this was too quiet to be more than one person. Okay. Minho came in and he heard the sound of the door closing. Okay. And those footsteps kept getting nearer to his bed. Okay.

And Hyunjin didn't have a good feeling about this.

Because he couldn't remember the last time Minho ever knocked on his door instead of just barging in, and it was technically the first time - since the drama filming ended two months ago, he would be with Minho in the same space alone, just the two of them.

"Hey."

Hey? Hyunjin never really heard a hey from Minho or anyone else in the group. They were too close to each other to have to go through a "hey" for a conversation starter already. Minho was definitely acting weird. And Hyunjin ran a frantic check inside his head, digging in the abundance of memories between his hectic schedules for anything he had done to possibly invite Minho here.

But he couldn't really pick up anything. He barely interacted with Minho these past two months, outside of their activities with the group where they were brought together in different scenarios to keep the usual flow in the group going.

"What's the matter?" Hyunjin asked, eager but nervous about what Minho's intentions truly were.

"Just tryna check if the noise gets its way over here. Since you're having to practice for that MC thing tomorrow." Minho answered. Hyunjin's body slightly jerked back because of the new weight pushing a part of his soft mattress down, and that made him almost forget the fact that the boys were all gathered in the living room right next to his bedroom, probably being childish and hollering at the drama like they did the past two weeks.

"It doesn't." Hyunjin replied, then aware that the elder was definitely beating around the bush, because he knew well that Minho knew for a fact that their dorms were soundproof.

He wasn't sure what he was more nervous about. What Minho was going to talk about, or what Minho was going to do.

"Mind if I sleep over tonight?"

Again, it had long gone, the times where Minho had to ask Hyunjin, or anyone in the group for that matter, if it was alright to stay overnight. Nonetheless, ever since they spreaded out and got a room each for themselves, Hyunjin never and he was pretty sure nobody ever slept over anyone else's room.

"You didn't have to ask, hyung." Hyunjin answered, the hyung leaving a foreign taste in his own mouth. He was younger than the other, but he rarely said it to Minho given times where he could avoid it. But he did it just now because he hoped for some reason, whatever it was Minho tried to talk him through, if negative, would be dismissed.

"Really?" Minho asked and Hyunjin knitted his brows together, feeling confused at the older's sudden respect for borders, but the beating of his heart took over his mind again the moment Minho snuck in from behind, Hyunjin's long pillow did the same thing the mattress just did moments ago, but now to his head instead.

So he wiggled a few inches forward, stopping at where he imagined would be enough to leave space for Minho but at the same time not too much to give the older the idea that he didn't like Minho near him.

He felt part of his comforter gliding past his backside and up his elbow, of which hand he was still holding onto the script that he had been pretending to read this whole time.

Speaking of.

He turned to another page in the stack, eyes still gluing on the texts and still nothing registered his brain.

There came the sounds of Minho behind him still adjusting to the sheets.

But Minho himself was silent.

Then it was completely silent, save for the white noise of the air conditioner and some other he didn't care enough to label in the background.

Hyunjin turned to another page.

And another.

And...

He had finally reached the last page, of course with zero memory of what he read. The only thing he was paying attention to was the breathing of the man behind him. It was not steady nor slow, and almost inaudible. He wasn't asleep yet.

Hyunjin could flip the stack once more and repeat the whole make-believe show that he was putting up with until Minho finally gave in by either falling asleep himself, or actually speaking up first, because he knew the older definitely wanted to talk to him about something. Everything happens for a reason, not to mention the way Minho was acting all polite and careful, and the fact that he made no comment about how Hyunjin hadn't turned to look at him since the moment he stepped inside.

But it wasn't like he could avoid whatever Minho wanted to say forever. And curiosity was draining the life out of Hyunjin.

And most realistically speaking, the arm holding the script was about to fall off anytime, and the lateral decubitus made his other arm and shoulder numb. And all the straining got him so, so sweaty. It was basically the most uncomfortable he had ever been.

He suddenly recalled that he was on his own supposedly comfortable bed.

It was unfair.

So he sat up with the support of his palms on the sheets. And he put the dumb stack of script back on the nightstand, which was then nearer to Minho.

So naturally he looked at Minho. And Minho looked back, though he had a feeling the older had long been looking at him.

"Finished?"

"Yeah." Hyunjin was already on his knees, ready to walk out of the bed to the light switch when Minho stopped him by grabbing his wrist.

"Are you turning off the lights?"

"Yeah."

"Can we talk first?"

A slight delay from Hyunjin until he breathed out ever so discreetly.

"Okay."

It wasn't until Hyunjin lied back on his bed did Minho let go of his wrist.

And then they were facing each other.

"Are you feeling uncomfortable because I'm with you?"

Yes. But it's not a bad type of uncomfortable. But you can't know why. So I'll just say, "No."

"Liar." Minho's lips curled up, and Hyunjin didn't know whether the older one was amused or sulking. It could go either way.

Before Hyunjin could lie some more, Minho gently swiped the part of Hyunjin's forehead that met the hairline with his thumb. "You're nervous around me."

He would make a clown of himself if he made further excuses for the beads of sweat that formed in his forehead and other parts of his body, in a room's almost-cold temperature thanks to the air con.

But he desperately needed something, anything to deny it. Because Minho really seemed to know Hyunjin was in love with him.

"I'm not."

"Then why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not avoiding you."

"Look," Minho sighed, obviously not taking any more of Hyunjin's denials that they both knew were empty. "I know you avoid me because those brats in the living room keep teasing us but it's not gonna last long and you shouldn't give them any kind of reaction so they'll get tired of it faster."

Oh.

Minho was having the wrong idea. Hyunjin didn't avoid him because of the mindless teasing from other bandmates. Definitely not.

"It was all just acting, okay? Try not to get it in your head too much."

It was all just acting.

Hyunjin knew it was the truth but having it said to his face was another story.

"I know I can't really say from my perspective because I'm gay. And I don't know how hard it is acting a gay character when your ual orientation isn't the same. But I honestly don't want to break our friendship over some gay stuff we did in the drama."

"I'm into men too." Hyunjin corrected, a bit bluntly because he was seconds away from deciding against it. Despite being an extrovert, he was not that open about certain topics like this as much as Minho was. Nobody really knew or questioned another about their ualalities, and it just so happened that Minho was an obvious case.

He thought Minho would cheer up a little bit from it but it was the opposite. His expression fell a little more as he said, "so you just dislike me."

"I don't dislike you." Hyunjin denied right away, feeling ridiculous how the older could come to such a conclusion.

"Then why have you been avoiding me?"

There it was. The thing that he feared the most. The dead end.

Minho's eyes were boring holes into his rapidly depreciating brain cells.

Hyunjin gulped down the lump in his throat as Minho drew a little closer, serious as ever, still seeming clueless and demanding for a satisfiable reason from Hyunjin.

"You're going to make fun of me for saying this." Hyunjin hesitated, and the next thing he said came out a barely audible whisper, as though he feared someone was eavesdropping them, "I like you."

"Come again?" Minho asked, his face of genuine surprise.

"I like you," Hyunjin tried again, this time louder, but shakier. "I've been trying to get rid of my feelings these past months. Give me some more time, please. I'm still not over it yet."

"Are you sure of it?" Minho asked, not at all flustered by Hyunjin's confessions, but instead he looked anticipating, and Hyunjin wasn't sure what that expression entailed.

He knew he was going to be so embarrassed after this, but the feeling of having something off his chest was much more of what he needed right now. So he just went ahead and be honest. "I am."

"You aren't confused between me and my character in the drama, are you?"

"One hundred percent," Hyunjin muttered, "I would never like such aggressive, possessive stereotypical kind of a man like Minhyung."

"Good." Minho said, and he smiled at last. And Hyunjin was even more confused.

"Hyung, I just told you I like you," Hyunjin huffed, "and this is your reaction?"

"How else should I react?"

"I don't know," Hyunjin rolled his eyes, "be bothered. Disturbed. Whatever. Anything but smiling. Unless you really are going to make fun of me."

"I like you too, Hyunjin."

Hyunjin couldn't believe what he just heard.

"Not as a friend, but romantically." He continued.

Each of Minho's words were sending tingly sensation all over Hyunjin's body. His head felt almost weightless, but he also felt blood rushing up his cheeks and his ears. And Minho's cheeks were also getting a tad bit pinker across his fair skin.

A lot could be said about body language. So Hyunjin knew he wasn't hearing things. Nor Minho was anything but honest.

"You are the most charming person I have ever known, Hwang Hyunjin. And it wasn't until I got to be closer to you through filming, that I came to realize it.

"I thought you knew I liked you already. I thought I was being super obvious. You remember how I at acting and had to retake most of them several times yet I did extra well in those in which I was required to act like I was in love?"

Hyunjin only nodded.

"Well it's not because I'm just gay, it's because those are real emotions when I'm around you."

Hyunjin was still speechless.

"Then when the filming was over, I planned to confess to you. But you started acting like you didn't know me and I genuinely felt like I made you uncomfortable with my affections. Which I now know was not the case?"

"No." Hyunjin said, along with shaking his head.

They stayed silent and all they did was stare at each other, gauging each other's expression for validation upon their mutual confessions. Hyunjin's face muscles started relaxing up, and he couldn't help beaming at the older, who mirrored it back and maybe that was the brightest Hyunjin had ever observed from Minho.

"So you aren't uncomfortable with my affections."

"I'm not." Hyunjin reaffirmed. And Minho's teeth showed for a brief moment when he was grinning, until he closed his mouth in an inner lip bite, eyes switching back and forth between Hyunjin's eyes, and then his mouth.

Hyunjin instinctively did the same, chest aching in a pleasant way with how his heart raced, his breath hitching at the slightest bit.

Then Minho drew his face closer and closer, in a painfully slow, unsure manner, and Hyunjin closed his eyes, not waiting for long until his lips felt the familiar of the other's pair getting pressed on, so gently and platonic, he felt like he would melt from all the softness he was getting right then.

The bliss lasted a few seconds until Minho withdrew the kiss, their distance barely gave Hyunjin's eyes time to adjust, yet he still wished Minho was a bit closer.

"Tell me, Hyunjin, do you dislike it?"

"No." Hyunjin said, not at all caring about the fact that he replied before Minho could even finish his question. He needed the older to know, just how much he enjoyed it.

"Alright. Good." Minho said, and he just looked at Hyunjin. And oddly enough, the younger just knew what he needed to do next.

He cupped Minho's face with both his hands.

And he went for it.

A/N: thank you for your request again! it was totally fun for me coming up with ideas surrounding your scenario! also sorry the other members didn't really have a presence here asdfghjk my brain fails me if i have to write more than 2 characters tbh (i only focused on hyunjin and i almost quit halfway *cries).

also if it is fine with you, i might take this story and convert it to a pairing i like in the near future. if you are fine with me doing so while crediting the prompt to you, please let me know! i'd totally understand if you are against it nonetheless~