[hey you Jungkook you should stop]

For: LordesseMisii / tteokimimi 

Partner: Jeon Jungkook

Enjoy~!

                “I’ll see you tonight, okay?” Jungkook flashes that smile that makes me sick. He bends down a little and plants a kiss on my forehead which, unlike before, makes my heart hurt even more. “Alright,” I nod and wave goodbye as he shut the front door behind him.

This morning he woke up earlier than usual (But still later than the time I wake up) and told me he and the boys had an emergency practice at the company building but I’m not stupid. I know he isn’t going to the practice of course he wouldn’t. It’s just another white lie that he had to make for a reason I don’t understand why.

Yoongi called in just a while ago asking if Jungkook and I wanted to join them at the mall to watch a movie because they had a day off. I would have asked him why Jungkook told me they had practice but I already knew the answer. In fact, I’ve known for quite a while now. They’ve known for so long as well and they’re actually amazing at keeping this seemingly white lie to themselves.

I turned down the offer and said that we were planning on staying in today yet I’m here alone in the house at nine twenty in the morning, sipping a cup of cold coffee which I made an hour ago but forgot about it since my mind went somewhere else as I waited for Jungkook to finish his shower.

It hurts. It hurt to see him rush around the room trying to look for the partner of the sock he was wearing. It hurt to see him spray that cologne I used to love the scent of. It also hurt when I watched him put on his shoes and turned to me with the slightest of smiles. And it hurt the most when he kissed me goodbye and said that he’ll see me tonight. It hurts because I know that he’s with me but his heart is with someone else.

But I let it be because I love him too much to let him go. It’s selfish, I know but what can I do? I loved him first and I still do—Which is kind of stupid of me but I can’t help it. I want to be a selfish brat for once because I already know that I’m sharing his heart with someone else against my will—Even though I know that I’m slowly losing my half of his heart to her.

                I put on a jacket and a beanie with that weird pompom hanging on its end. It was a gift Namjoon bought for me last Christmas and I must say, it is the comfiest beanie I have ever plunged my head in. “Three,” I mumbled as I put on my boots and switch the lights off. I’ve been debating with myself for three days, nearly writing down the pros and cons, if I should do this or not. I don’t actually know what exactly I’m going to do.

Jungkook sent in a text message just an hour ago saying he’ll be home in thirty minutes to an hour because of heavy traffic. He still managed to reassure me that he’ll be coming home soon. Little did he know that he’ll be coming home to nothing.

I shut the door behind me and put my hood over my beanie covered head as it started drizzling. Maybe God decided to let the skies cry with me even though my tears have already faded and there’s none left. It’s just light though, light drizzling. I feel a tear drop once in a while, landing on my cheek like the sky is thinking if it should cry or not; whether it was sad or not. Just like me. I’m not quite sure about how I feel right now. I feel numb and I’m not exactly sad but I feel heavy. Heavy like gym weights were hung onto my shoulders.

                She’s nowhere to be found. I come home to all the lights closed with the still air filling the room. I searched the whole house, walking—running—from one room to another, frantically trying to find at least a post it saying where she went. She didn’t leave a message and when I tried to call her she turned off her phone. Where did she go?

I contacted everyone else, asking them to help me look for her because it’s been over an hour since I came and there’s still no sign of her. Yoongi hyung told me this morning that he called this morning and that he thought that Mimi and I were staying in today. . I cursed and cursed and cursed myself for lying. I regret it now. She knows that I lied and I know she’s mad. She has the right to be mad anyway but knowing that she found out through someone else is just—I don’t even know what to say.

Taehyung hyung texted that he and the rest are coming over and even asked if I wanted to call the cops to help look for her but I said no, just in case I just got paranoid and that maybe she just went out to the grocery. I hope she just went out to buy something. I hope she comes home. I hope she’s safe and dry since it’s already pouring outside. I knew I should have just stayed home. I hope she’s okay.

                It’s getting dark now and I’ve been walking for an hour. I wonder if Jungkook had reached the house already. I wouldn’t know because I turned my phone off the minute I stepped out of the house a while ago. No distractions I thought. Just I and my thoughts tonight (like every night anyway).

Somehow, I end up in front of her house. It’s ten in the evening and the roads are empty. The stars are sleepy and I’m wide awake. I wonder if Jungkook even bothered to look for me. I wonder if he’s even home. I hope he’s safe though.

I push my thoughts at the back of my mind and take a few steps into her front lawn. The rain made puddles on the cement pathway which divided the lawn into two parts. Kind