Hana's POV

As soon as I had gotten the court summons, I had called my parents. Dad, was going to have his attourney fly out for the case and represent me. I started talking again to a couple of the girls from the night of the incident, to see if they would witness along with Mary & Kris who just got in on the tail end of things. 

I had gotten a really light period when my birth control said it was time, but I just felt off even when I resumed the regular part of the birth control pills. I went back to the hospital to get checked out again 5 weeks after the initial incident. The doctor examined me, and then said we should do a little bloodwork and a urine test just to make sure everything was okay. 

"Are you nervous about what they may find?" Mary asked -she had come along with me. 

"Yes, but I'm hoping it's not what I think it might be."

"What are you going to do if it is?" she asked. 

"I don't know? I haven't really thought about that yet."

"Well, we can hope it's not."

"Yeah," I agreed with a sigh -if I was pregnant my world was going to get so much more complicated. 

"Hana?" called the nurse. 

"Will you be okay alone?" Mary asked as I got up. 

"Sure, just pray that God gives me peace with whatever comes my way."

"Okay, I'll try." she said as I left with the nurse. 

"Hana, I have good news or bad news depending on how you want to look at it due to the circumstances." said the doctor.

"Okay?"

"You're pregnant." he said. 

"I'm pregnant?" I said as I held tight onto the bottom of the chair as I felt the room start to spin. 

"Are you okay Hana?" asked the doctor. 

"I don't feel so good." 

"Do you need some water or your friend or anything?"

"I'm okay." I said after I sat clenching the chair and closing my eyes for a minute. 

"Do you want to hear your options?" asked the doctor.

"Options?" I asked confused. 

"Yes, if you want to keep the fetus or what we need to do to eliminate the fetus."

"I.........I definitely don't want an abortion, but I don't know if I want to keep the baby myself."

"Well, I can get you some information on adoption agencies that could help you make that decision."

"Okay.....Would a family member be able to adopt the baby?" I asked thinking of Jae -she may want to adopt.

"Yes, there's a possibility of that. I assume you need a report of this sent to your attourney for the case next week, since you were taking the birth control pill appropriately."

"Yes, Doctor, that would be helpful."

"All right, I'll have the nurse come in and go over some prenatal care information with you, but if you have any questions don't hesitate to give me a call okay?"

"Okay." I said numbly. I don't think I heard half of what the nurse told me in the room. What was going to happen? Would I be able to finish the semester? Would I need to take time off of school? Would Jae want to adopt this baby if I was able to carry it full term?

"How did it go? You were in there a long time" inquired Mary.

"I'm pregnant." I said bursting into tears on her shoulder. 

"Are you going to keep it?"

"Maybe.....I'm not getting an abortion if that's what you're asking?"

"Good, so you might keep the baby for yourself?"

"I don't really know. I have a lot to think over, but I wonder if Jae & Rob would be interested in adopting it?"

"Well, see what she says and talk it over with your parents too."

"Are you scared?"

"Frightened to be exact."

"Well, you're always telling me to trust in God, so now I'm reminding you to trust that God will work it out." 

"Thanks Mary!" I said side hugging her as we walked to the bus stop from the clinic. 

I called my parents when I got home to my dorm and told them the news. Mom was super worried for me and was ready to hop on a train or some mode of transportation to come take care of me. Dad and I, I think, convinced her that I would be okay until they came next week for the first hearing in court. 

I called Jae, but she must have been working at the hospital and didn't answer. I told her to call me back when she had the chance, since I had something to talk to her about. I really hoped Jae & Rob would consider adopting this baby, but I couldn't say for sure if they were any more ready than I was for a new addition next year if all went well. 

I texted Kevin to see if he was able to call me when he had a few minutes. 

Kevin's POV

I got Hana's text when I was getting ready for the busy day ahead. 

"Hey Hana!"

"Hi Kev." she sounded off. 

"What's wrong?"

"Kevin, I'm......." she started crying "I'm......I'm pregnant."

"What?!" 

"I'm pregnant."

"Oh Hana...." I said with my eyes tearing up. "It's his isn't it?"

"Yes" she said in between sniffles.

"That jerk. Now you have something to remember him by for the rest of your life."

"Kevin, why did you have to put it that way?!" she said in a very frustrated tone. "I'm scared, I wish I wasn't like this, I wish everything was different, but what can I do now? I can't kill this baby, I can't take away it's life because it reminds of someone I hope to forget. I don't know what's going to happen to me or with this baby either. There's just so much I don't know right now! Why did God make this happen Kev, why?"

"I'm sorry Hana, I didn't mean to sound like that. I'm frustrated and scared for you too. I never meant that you should take the baby's life either. Do you need me to come home?"

"Sorry Kev, I'm just very emotional. Come home? Like to the states?"

"It's okay Hana, I understand. Yeah, that's what I meant."

"No, no, no, no, no as much as I'd love for you to be here with me, I can't ask you to come back here and throw away your career."

"Sacrificing something for someone you love isn't throwing your life away Hana." I said seriously.

"I would never forgive myself if you left your career just for me Kev. I'd feel indebted to you."

"Well, I wouldn't want you to feel that way, but Hana I seriously would do anything you needed me to even if it meant giving up my career here."

"Kevin, please don't. Let's stop talking about that for today and just pray about it, okay?"

"Hana, I have been praying about this for a while now."

"But has God been opening doors or closing them on you?"

"Unfortunately closing them, but what if this is a leap of faith that He wants me to take."

"Kevin, please wait for now. I don't really know what God's plan for this little one is yet, if it will be with me or someone else, but let me figure things out first on my end before you come running over here."

"Okay, I don't like being patient though."

"I know, I don't like being patient either -I get antsy without having a solution right away, but God has our best interest in mind, even if it is to teach us more patience. 

"True Hana. I'm sorry again for making you upset earlier. I have to get going now."

"It's okay Kevin, have a nice day."

"Love you."

"Love you too Kev."

"Bye."

"Bye bye." she hung up. 

I didn't want to let her go, but I'd be in so much trouble if I wasn't ready sooner rather than later. The guys all seemed to know something was up, maybe my puffy eyes from crying gave it away, but I told them I'd tell them what was happening later if they hadn't overheard my conversation. 

Hana's POV

I flipped to the passage of 1 Peter 1 for my bible reading that night, and verses 6-9 really stuck out to me. 

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls."

This was certainly a trial, but how could I rejoice? I guess I could rejoice that I didn't get any nasty disease from Matt and that I wasn't aware of the when it happened. I thought my faith was strong, but maybe God is trying to get it even stronger -even if we think God can't make us any stronger than we already are, we will be made stronger yet. Faith in Him is worth more than anything, even an easy life, than this world can give me. 

A genuine faith is the magnification of God's glory, honor, and the praise we will give him someday. Even though I have not seen Him, I love Him for all that He's given me. Even in my darkest times, like now, I feel more at ease know He's there for me. Faith in Christ is the only way to get true piece, since I don't have to worry about what the future may bring -even though I'm a little unsure about how everything's going to work out. 

"How's the Bible studying going?" Mary asked.

"Good, I was reminded again that God will always give me the best of every situation in life I go through, even if it's hard, awful, and just plain messy. Plus, if my faith was strong before, what's happening is to make it even stronger."

"That's pretty deep."

"Yeah, but it's so true. Without God, I don't know how I would be able to function or live with everything that's happened to me last month."

"Sure, I'd be a worse mess than you were if I found out I was pregnant like you did."

"Well, let's hope that never happens to you!"

"Agreed!" she nodded.