★— PrinceLuhannie
` ✼ exotic grounds — reviews gallery
title: 4/5
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A unique title which goes with your plot! xD
foreword and description: 8/10
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The description was so cool. I like the way you ended it with small fronted quotes. It was amazing. It is enough to draw readers in; it drew me in aha!
appearance: 5/5
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i love the poster! you also wrote the story neatly.
plot: 10/15
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I liked the plot a lot!
originality: 9/15
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Uhm, it’s quiet original but not greatly. I’ve seen similar plot elsewhere xD!
grammar and spelling: 6/20
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You have so many spelling mistakes and a few grammatical issues. Most of the spelling mistakes are very careless for example on the first paragraph you wrote ‘truee’ but it’s ‘true’. Then further down you wrote ‘junevile temper’ but its ‘juvenile temper’. Literally, small mistakes but so many. If you read over it again, you will be able to spot them very quickly. Due to these stupid mistakes, I gave you 0/10 for spelling and 6/10 for grammar. You grammar was ok. Not bad.
For example this phrase:
For example this phrase:
‘Suddenly I had no feeling in my hands. Or the rest of my body, for that matter.’
You can’t start your sentences with ‘Or’ because it’s a connective. It connects to sentences together not separate it. You are going against the rules of English for doing that, hehe.
This sentence has grammar issues and didn’t make sense to me: ‘Then just her middle name with a loop from the middle an all the way around to the H.’ No matter how many times I read it, I don’t get it. I didn’t understand why you were describing the names, though. I was lost.
‘Ji, as in low- the story of my life. Low man on the family totem pole, low grades in school, and shorter than Minyoung.’ This phrase should be phrased more like this: ‘Ji meaning low – this will get me started on my life. This name links with so many things in my life; low man on the family totem pole; low grades at school; and low as in height. I’m shorter than Minyoung.’
Then this phrase: ‘Towards me! A gold-wrapped, toaster-size box with flouncing purple ribbons in his hands.’ Sounds wrong (not the dirty way). It should be phrased like this: ‘Towards me, holding a gold wrapped, toaster size box with flouncing ribbons in his hand.’
Chapter two has little spelling and grammar mistakes. Chapter three consist of careless spelling mistakes so do read over that and correct them.
The chapter naming is wrong… Did you do that intentionally? You wrote chapter three twice then moved on to chapter five without chapter four. I was a little confused.
The use of ‘or’ separating the sentence is used once again. Correct that, the ‘or’ connects the sentence.
This sentence has grammar issues and didn’t make sense to me: ‘Then just her middle name with a loop from the middle an all the way around to the H.’ No matter how many times I read it, I don’t get it. I didn’t understand why you were describing the names, though. I was lost.
‘Ji, as in low- the story of my life. Low man on the family totem pole, low grades in school, and shorter than Minyoung.’ This phrase should be phrased more like this: ‘Ji meaning low – this will get me started on my life. This name links with so many things in my life; low man on the family totem pole; low grades at school; and low as in height. I’m shorter than Minyoung.’
Then this phrase: ‘Towards me! A gold-wrapped, toaster-size box with flouncing purple ribbons in his hands.’ Sounds wrong (not the dirty way). It should be phrased like this: ‘Towards me, holding a gold wrapped, toaster size box with flouncing ribbons in his hand.’
Chapter two has little spelling and grammar mistakes. Chapter three consist of careless spelling mistakes so do read over that and correct them.
The chapter naming is wrong… Did you do that intentionally? You wrote chapter three twice then moved on to chapter five without chapter four. I was a little confused.
The use of ‘or’ separating the sentence is used once again. Correct that, the ‘or’ connects the sentence.
flow: 7/10
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The flow was quiet good. I wanted to read on after every chapter.
characterization: 6/10
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You portrayed the characters well.
overall enjoyment: 8/10
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I enjoyed your fic a lot. I just had to subscribe, needed to read the next update hehe.
total: 63/100
reviewer: chiimii
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