You have a good summary there, but there are few errors. The description was intriguing enough to make me read your story.

Appearance: 3/5

The color of your description isn't really nice. It's not that appealing to the eyes since it's too bright. And the poster is a bit messy and I think Key should be there, too. Since there are four main characters, you should have just asked for a poster with those characters only. Overall, it's okay.

Plot: 11/15

The plot is nice and exciting. I was actually surprised that I read all your chapters. But it's a bit predictable. It's not a bad thing, though.

Originality: 11/15

Quite original. There were stories with almost the same plot as yours, but you did give good twists in your story. I like how Nana and Key have that kind of relationship, and how Luhan suddenly entered the scene. The story's exciting and it's because of suddenly appearances of characters and of course, creativity. Good job.

Grammar/Spelling: 12/20

If I'm not mistaken, you used the first point of you mostly in your story. There's this rule that when using certain POVs, there is a specific tense to use. Since you used the first POV, you should use either the past or the present tense. The same goes for the third POV. And I have noticed that you're not consistent with the tense you used. I suggest you stick with the past tense. There are also issues with punctuation marks.

You wrote: "Nana the daughter of a very wealthy man, has dreams of becoming a K-Pop Idol."

Correction: "Nana, the daughter of a very wealthy man, has dreams of becoming a K-Pop idol."

You wrote: "Another day of school great."

Correction: "Another day of school. Great."

There are times when you need to pause. When writing, try to actually say it out loud and notice where you pause. Base your writing on the way you say it.

You wrote: "I turn off my annoying alarm clock not wanting to get out of bed."

Correction: "I turned off my annoying alarm clock, not wanting to get out of bed."

You wrote: "Nana don't take my opinion to seriously, I'm just looking out for you"

Correction: "Nana, don't take my opinion too seriously. I'm just looking out for you."

You wrote: "I am Umma; you need to be strong so that you can come home soon"

Correction: "I am, umma. You nee to be strong so that you can come home soon."

You wrote: "Stupid diva... Why does is he so inconsiderate?"

Correction: "Stupid diva. Why is he so inconsiderate?"

Most of your errors are about inconsistency and the use of punctuation marks. There were also typos. Reread them and you'll be able to see some of them.

Characterization: 5/10

I got pretty disappointed as I read the story. There was a point when all of the characters have the same personality. It made them look like kids fighting over a piece of candy, not wanting to lose to the other. I grasped a bit of Nana's and Key's traits, but they actually have almost the same character. When they're interacting, it's as if you're reading a conversation between a person and himself. It's not too late to build their characters, though.

Flow:  7/10

Not so fast, not so slow.

Overall Enjoyment: 6/10

I did enjoy your story. Good luck! :)

Total: 65/100

thederpchanyeol's notes: sorry if the review's late. hope i didn't offend you in any way. :) thanks for requesting!