❊ SulliSpark
` ✼ exotic grounds — reviews gallery
❊ my undercover lover
title: 4/5
i think your title is too revealing. it isn't bad, but it spoils your story's content. even though it's straightforward, the title is interesting enough.
foreword and description: 8/10
the summary was great. you stated your story's plot perfectly without going overboard. there were some grammatical errors, though. instead of 'whose,' it should be 'who's'. using smileys is something you should avoid. also, you should not include your characters' personalities. let the readers have their ideas of what your characters are. i suggest you to get a character chart.
appearance: 3/5
your background contradicts your poster. the poster is too colorful while your background is too dark. since you tagged your story 'angst', i think you should stick with a dark theme.
plot: 15/15
i like the plot. i should say it was well thought of since the twists are good. good job.
originality: 14/15
it's original. i deducted a point since disguising is pretty common now. but it goes well with the plot.
grammar and spelling: 15/20
there were errors in using commas and semi-colons. acronyms in between dialogs should be avoided. there were some hanging sentences and inconsistency with the pov. you said 'i mean really' somewhere that was in third pov. also, numbers less than 10 should be spelled out, unless you're stating time and dates.
i noticed some inside comments or lines that are in parentheses. when using first pov, it's okay to omit the parentheses. but if you're using third pov, comments should be avoided.
you wrote: "... we'll be billionaires and we'll happily together for the rest of our lives, understand?"
correction: "... we'll be billionaires and we'll happily be together for the rest of our lives, understand?"
you wrote: "she was his only family. the only one he cared about."
correction: "she was his only family, the only one he cared about."
instead of a period, use comma since the second statement is hanging.
you wrote: "... boy's only private school."
correction: "... boy-only private school."
you wrote; "... he had spent all last night wandering the streets..."
correction: "... he had spent the whole night wandering around the streets..."
flow: 10/10
i found the flow perfect. it wasn't slow, not fast.
characterization: 7/10
i still can't grasp their personalities. well, i thought i got top's, but in the latest chap, my conclusion was contradicted. their characters weren't stable yet.
overall enjoyment: 8/10
the story was exciting. i subscribed. :)
total: 84/100
reviewer: thederpchanyeol
notes: sorry if the review's late. hope this helped. :)
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