「review」┋ kkamjong_ah
` ✼ exotic grounds — reviews gallery
Title: 4/5
The title kinda says it all. It suits your story well.
Foreword/Description: 8/10
This part is really interesting. You know how to excite the readers, and that's good. I just found a few errors:
"Wu Fan better known as Kris is the owner of a very famous host club in Seoul."
Correction: "Wu Fan, better known as Kris, is the owner of a very famous host club in Seoul."
"Most people think host club's are fun and innocent but that's only what people want you to think."
Correction: "Most people think host clubs are fun and innocent, but that's only what people want you to think."
Oh, and about the characters, theire personalities shouldn't be mentioned. But you have put it there already, so ignore me.
Appearance: 5/5
Speechless. -_____-
Plot: 13/15
You have a pretty interesting plotline. I like the twists in your story - Sehun dying, Min working at a host club, Kris being Mr. Kwon's nephew. I like how you play with your characters. Too bad you killed Sehun. >___< And you surprised me when you also killed the baby. :p
Originality: 14/15
Your story is original. There are just parts where I think I've encountered before. But really, you own it. ^^
Grammar: 16/20
The grammar is perfectly fine. What bothered me are your typos, capitalization and punctuation marks. Here are some examples:
"Look at you Kris, when are you going to give this up?"
Correction: "Look at your, Kris. When are you going to give this up?"
"Hurry just get in I want to go home."
Correction: "Hurry, just get in. I want to go home."
"Hey Nana it's me Kris."
Correction: "Hey, Nana. It's me, Kris."
"I rolled my eyes knowing that actually stayed here all night."
Correction: "I rolled my eyes, knowing that they actually stayed here all night."
Characterization: 8/10
The characters have their strong traits, except for some of them. The main characters were already okay, though I suggest you make Kris' personality clearer. I was a bit confused of him since he's hard to read. The other hosts need attention, too. Most of them are still underdeveloped.
Flow: 9/10
There are points where I got lost, but I easily recovered. Overall, the flow's good.
Overall Enjoyment: 8/10
I enjoyed it to the point that I actually subscribed to your story. I know you're a fast updater, so no need for me to rush you. :) Good luck to your story!
Total: 85/100
thederpchanyeol's note. here's your review! sorry if it's late. thanks for requesting! don't forget to credit the shop and the reviewer! :)
reviewed by thederpchanyeol
posted 12.05
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