「review」┋ laysgurlxx
` ✼ exotic grounds — reviews gallery
by laysgurlxx
Title : 5/5
The title is fine. Not too long and not too short.It makes people curious about the story.
Foreword/Description : 7/10
The description is fine. It get me interested because it only gives me hints of what will happend. Even though i don't completely understand the last sentence when you speak about her past ( i think it's something like "but there was a lot more to know about her past" or you want to say that there's some important things that happened in her past ... well i don't know because english is not my first
language. I just think that maybe it's a problem of preposition. So may be check it ( don't get me wrong it's not a critique it's just that if the description is clear it may make more people read your story :D).
Appearance : 3/5
The appearance is simple but nice. I appreciate the picture of the characters. You don't have a poster ,I suggest you to get a poster cause if you have a nice poster you story may get to be noticed a lot. If you don't know how to make one you can request one :)
Background or layout
Plot : 12/15
The plot seems good :D I can't really say much cause for the moment it's only one chapter
Originality : 10/15
The theme of the poor girl in love with the rich snob guy is a theme a saw a lot in drama and stories but it doesn't mean it isn't interesting, on the contrary I like this kind of story.
Grammar : 15/20
Your grammar is quite good. There are some mistakes some i thinks are forgetfulness so don't worry just re-read the chapter one or two times when you've finished tiping it.
Here some example(the part in bold are my suggestion):
"Lay was sweet to her but to her, he was just another rich snob"
"Lay was sweet to her, but to her, he was just another rich snob"
"We spoke about marriage"
"Where did that all go?"
"Where did all that go?"
"where I was wrong for him to finally decide it was over."
"They were just as wothless as I am"
"I woke up from yet again,..."
"I woke up again,.."
"that sort of things isn't true anyway"
"I, at leat, worked part timeas a barista (...) who was a friend of my mother [or who was my mother's friend]"
Characterization : 9/10
The characters seems interesting. So far i'm very curious on how the story will go on.
Flow : 10/10
The flow is good, not too fast and not too slow.
Overall Enjoyment : 8/10
I like the story so far :D so keep witing it!
Total : 79/100
MondoCorea's note. Please don't take me the wrong way. All the suggestion i gave you were only to help you. The score in my opinion is good. It may be better in the future cause you see it's only the first chapter so it's kind of difficult to review a story that just started, but the premises are good so i'm looking forwad to the next update!
The title is fine. Not too long and not too short.It makes people curious about the story.
Foreword/Description : 7/10
The description is fine. It get me interested because it only gives me hints of what will happend. Even though i don't completely understand the last sentence when you speak about her past ( i think it's something like "but there was a lot more to know about her past" or you want to say that there's some important things that happened in her past ... well i don't know because english is not my first
language. I just think that maybe it's a problem of preposition. So may be check it ( don't get me wrong it's not a critique it's just that if the description is clear it may make more people read your story :D).
Appearance : 3/5
The appearance is simple but nice. I appreciate the picture of the characters. You don't have a poster ,I suggest you to get a poster cause if you have a nice poster you story may get to be noticed a lot. If you don't know how to make one you can request one :)
Background or layout
Plot : 12/15
The plot seems good :D I can't really say much cause for the moment it's only one chapter
Originality : 10/15
The theme of the poor girl in love with the rich snob guy is a theme a saw a lot in drama and stories but it doesn't mean it isn't interesting, on the contrary I like this kind of story.
Grammar : 15/20
Your grammar is quite good. There are some mistakes some i thinks are forgetfulness so don't worry just re-read the chapter one or two times when you've finished tiping it.
Here some example(the part in bold are my suggestion):
"Lay was sweet to her but to her, he was just another rich snob"
"Lay was sweet to her, but to her, he was just another rich snob"
"We spoke about marriage"
"Where did that all go?"
"Where did all that go?"
"where I was wrong for him to finally decide it was over."
"They were just as wothless as I am"
"I woke up from yet again,..."
"I woke up again,.."
"that sort of things isn't true anyway"
"I, at leat, worked part timeas a barista (...) who was a friend of my mother [or who was my mother's friend]"
Characterization : 9/10
The characters seems interesting. So far i'm very curious on how the story will go on.
Flow : 10/10
The flow is good, not too fast and not too slow.
Overall Enjoyment : 8/10
I like the story so far :D so keep witing it!
Total : 79/100
MondoCorea's note. Please don't take me the wrong way. All the suggestion i gave you were only to help you. The score in my opinion is good. It may be better in the future cause you see it's only the first chapter so it's kind of difficult to review a story that just started, but the premises are good so i'm looking forwad to the next update!
thederpchanyeol's note. here's your review! thanks for requesting! don't forget to credit the shop and the reviewer! :)
reviewed by MondoCorea
posted 12.04
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