★— Fluffypanda711
` ✼ exotic grounds — reviews gallery
title: 2/5
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it's very common and not really interesting. it also doesn't suit your story's plot, since the girl lead doesn't have only one love.
foreword and description: 6/10
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i saw some grammatical errors and problems with punctuation marks. there were also incorrect capitalizations. i suggest you to work on it and it'll turn out better. about the characters, it isn't really necessary to put their characteristics. honestly, they didn't match with what your characters are in the story. just put their names and ages. those are enough.
appearance: 3/5
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the way you wrote the actual story was fine and neat. the problems are your foreword and the background. i can only see 'one l' in the background. the colors of your texts in your foreword weren't good. just stick with two or three colors which blend with each other.
plot: 7/15
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i found your plot complicated, and not realistic. yes, i do know that it is a fan fiction, but realistic ones are still better to read. your plot wasn't that interesting, and it's sort of a harem fic. i'm not into harem, so i quite don't like it. still, you can work on making your plot better.
originality: 8/15
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I don't think it is original enough for me to give you a high score. i've read some stories revolving around a girl in her high school days, being surrounded by popular guys. the story's kind of generic already.
grammar and spelling: 12/20
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like what i've said before, there were grammatical errors, punctuation marks errors, and incorrect capitalizations. there were also some hanging sentences which should be fixed.
you wrote: 'chanyeol, kris, lay & hyunseok has the same feelings for One girl, jiyeon.'
correction: 'chanyeol, kris, lay and hyunseok have the same feelings for one girl, jiyeon.'
you wrote: 'yah! Wake Up Sleepy Head!'
you don't have to capitalize the first letter of each word. you should only capitalize words if they're a proper noun.
you wrote: 'we stopped at our fav. coffee shop to eat breakfast. since we're too lazy to cook x)'
you shouldn't use abbreviations when writing. spell out 'favorite'. also, put a comma instead of a period between the sentences. the second phrase can't stand alone, so join it with the first sentence. and avoid using emoticons. they aren't welcome in writing, even in fan fictions.
you wrote: 'what's your parent's business btw?'
correction: 'what are your parents' businesses, by the way?'
you wrote: '... that most guys doesnt care for aesook no more.'
correction: '... that most guys don't care for aesook anymore.'
'no more' will just negate the word 'don't', so use 'anymore' instead.
you wrote: 'who'll go first? *pause for a while*...'
you shouldn't insert '*lalala*' in between conversations. just write it this way: '"who'll go first?" then he paused for a while.'
flow: 5/10
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the flow was fast. maybe it's because of your sudden shifts of point of views.
characterization: 4/10
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i don't see differences at all. they all share the same set of traits. no one has that striking characteristics to stand out among others. i know developing characters is hard, but start doing it now. you'll get better at it, somehow.
overall enjoyment: 3/10
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there were parts that i skipped, since i found them boring. sorry, i didn't enjoy it. still, good luck on your story!
total: 50/100
reviewer: thederpchanyeol
reviewer's notes: Sorry if your review is late. hope it wasn't that harsh. :)
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