❊ nina_liew
` ✼ exotic grounds — reviews gallery
❊ 소형 심장 (Small Heart)
title: 3/5
1) first of all,i'm not a fan of titles in korean. And if I was to scroll through one shots,I wouldn't give yours a second look.
2)I couldn't quite see the connection between the story and the title. sorry. I know it pertains to the narrator but,i just couldn't see the connection.
foreword and description: 7/10
description) I saw grammar mistakes. And if I did click your fic,I wouldn't have pressed 'next'.
foreword) i always say this,the foreword should contain a snippet of your story or at why you wrote the story. The quotes were nice but..they didn't interest me and I would have probably skipped them.
appearance: 4/5
nothing to say here.
plot: 13/15
i must say,your plot twist was great. But the storyline of the story apart from the twist is still cliche.
originality: 13/15
i haven't seen plot twists like these yet. I took off two points because of the storyline.
grammar and spelling: 11/20
grammar) a lot of grammar errors. I edited the first paragraph. 'The sound of the clock ticking,woke me up from my sleep.I stared at the new clock that was hung by Kris last night.It was round shaped with colorful numbers. At the center of the clock,his name was carved in. It was given by a foreign fan. Seems special,right? Of course.'
You had a lot of errors. I can't really point all of them out here. spelling) you also had a few spelling errors. i deducted points for that.
punctuation) you don't need to put a space after every apostrophe.
flow: 7/10
the flow was okay. But maybe you should have showed the problems the narrator encountered. Maybe Kris bringing home a girl? You know. Unveiling the narrator's true being slowly by giving out hints throughout the story. I would have liked it better if you had the story longer.
characterization: 7/10
I like how you gave Kris the sweet and caring persona despite his usual cold one.
overall enjoyment: 6/10
I didn't really enjoy it. Sorry. But I added a point because Kris is my bias. And for the plot twist as well.
total: 71/100
reviewer: maknae_heerin
notes: hi! So I'm coming out mean here XD anyway,I'm strict when it comes to reviewing so.. XD have a nice day~
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