But if I let you go, I would never know

what my life would be holding you close to me

Will I ever see you smiling back at me

How will I know if I let you go?

CHAPTER 19

TAEYEON POINT OF VIEW

            After peppering her lot of kiss here and there, all over her body until both of us felt so breathless and drowsiness took over our consciousness, I whispered that I love her again. Then we both drifted into slumber land, and I hugged her tight all the night.

            This morning, when I woke up first, I unconsciously smiled discovering her snuggled into me. Her angelic face would never fail to make me smile and always remind me to be gratitude and wonder at the same time, how could on this beautiful earth I could’ve her. At that time I knew, I must count my blessings.

            Watching her sleep, with her innocent mark on her face, obviously was the thing I couldn’t anticipate at all. I couldn’t help but stole a kiss on her lips. It’s ridiculous, though and I find myself giggled, thinking that it was really unnecessary to “steal” a kiss from her. I could do it anything and she’d let me do it wholeheartedly.

But sometimes, just sometimes, stealing a kiss just gave me another satisfied sensation, and it was one of my guilty pleasures after all.

I heard she groaned and I secretly smiled again before eventually I parted my comforter I shared with her carefully, then was about rising from my bed when I felt a sudden grip curled my wrist and pulled me back. I stumbled and fell again on the bed and before I’d recovered, I already felt a weight on my abdomen, and I suddenly realized, it’s her hand, wrapping above my abs.

She opened her eyes and smiled at me. I felt like in Heaven now.

“Morning, thief,” she whispered and I couldn’t help but widening my smile.

“Morning, Angel,” I replied playfully. “And I’m not a thief,” I pretended to pout.

“You’re,” she persisted and slid her body next to me. Now her face brushed my cheek. I could felt the warm air she released from her nose.

“You’re stealing a kiss from me.”

“I’m your girlfriend. Kissing my girlfriend couldn’t be counted as stealing, rite?”

She shook her head while parted her lips.

“You already stolen my heart,” she whispered and dropped a kiss on me, making me smile on her morning cheesiness.

“And so did you,” I replied again, still playing around.

“What’re you going to do with my heart then, after you stole it?” she went on, seemed still in the mood on it.

“I saved it,” I said.

“Where?”

I took her hand and put it on my chest.

“Here,” I said.

“You know what did it mean?”

            She shook her head, but her eyes were bright.

            “It’s already been part of me as well. I was in charge to take care it well and I would never let it been hurt. And if it’s getting hurt, I promise I’d make it whole again. This is I promise you, as long as I’m alive, I’d never let it broken and I’d make sure as well that I’m the one and only who is able to make it fix and whole again… And if it doesn’t work out, you must know that I certainly must been gone…,” I said solemnly.

            She looked taken aback with my remark and shook feebly again.

            “Don’t say that. I hate you bring the death up.”

            “I said that because I was serious, Fani~aaa.”

            “I know,” she nodded. “I believe in everything you said, but please never raised those words again. You had no idea, how could I live without you. If you die, I surely die as well… I love you so much, Taeng,” she said and met my lips.

            I close my eyes and granted her wish, once again, despite of my human weakness, thinking that I was the luckiest person alive in this world.

TIFFANY POINT OF VIEW

            After dropping me at the shooting location and dropping me a goodbye kissing, I mused for a moment. I thought nothing but her.

            I began to wonder if she knew what I was feeling about her as well.

            This morning, she acted too sweet. It wasn’t something bad, actually. But, a kind of strange feeling began to emerge in my heart. I was her girlfriend and I knew her well more than anybody. The odd feeling was haunting and churning me all the day. And frankly, I hate it.

            Then I just started to ponder our recent life. When we’re involved in the discord and finally she made it up for me. I began to ask myself what the thing she hided from me. When I start to think the possibility about she’s cheating on me, abruptly I blamed myself for doubt her faithfulness to me. I felt guilty afterward. I wasn’t supposed to doubt her feeling and loyalty to me. But I was giving up making any sense of it… I knew I would never be poised until I found the truth.

            I also hate another fact from her. That she would back late again tonight.

            I couldn’t reason out of it. But we just made it up. I didn’t want to mess up our relationship again. So I tried to give in and didn’t complain when she asked my permission.

            “Just don’t be too late,” I said, sadly. “You know I’d miss you badly.”

            She wryly smiled and cupped my cheek before angling her head and kissing me. After pulling back her head, still cupping my cheek she nodded.

            “Don’t worry. I will make it up to you. I love you.”

            When I back home by cab that afternoon, I hastily went to bathroom and all the things on my mind were only want to relax myself on the tub; drenched into the warm water.

            But then I glimpsed on Taeng last night suit that was hung at the hanger. Suddenly, out of the blue, I felt so lonely and missed her. I grabbed it and smelled the scent of her for a moment but, the next moment I realized something.

            The perfume.

            The perfume absolutely wasn’t hers.

            A twinge of curiosity suddenly popped, along with sting feeling inside my heart. My nerves were getting tense, thinking of the possibility.

            I smelled again, assuring my sense, and squeezed my eyes, trying to bear my tears.

            The aroma was so familiar, but I couldn’t figure it out still.

            My blood seemed curdled. My breath seemed so hard.

            I thought it couldn’t be worse, but then I found I was wrong again.

            I caught a vague lips mark near her collar. My heart pumped faster. My chest tightened as if I got hammer on it. My head was so heavy so I couldn’t almost think of anything.

            SHE HAD BETRAYED ME!

            SHE ALREADY BETRAYED OUR LOVE!

            I trembled, feeling agony. I was so devastated and my whole body seemed had been attacked by sudden thunderbolt. I’d never been as hurt as this time. I loved her very much and she exactly knew it, but why she did it to me then?

            She knew I was nothing without her. She knew I was fragile and vulnerable if she left me, but then why she did it to me, still?

            She knew I was just like a brittle glass. Just once touch, and I would shatter easily.

            I couldn’t help but cry.

            I – DdilFany, was crying for someone who even just played a game with my heart. I supposed not to waste my tears for someone playing with my heart, but somehow I couldn’t stop. I cried for her.

            I cried all the day until I got exhausted and fell asleep.

            With my swollen eyes and broken heart, I awaken as the door made some squeak sound when it opened. I noticed it wasn’t anyone but her. She greeted me cheerfully as usual, like nothing was happened. I hated it. I hated her very much. But in other side, I couldn’t lie to myself that I really really loved her.

            I rose from my bed and walked toward her, then stopped after making some gap with her. Looking from her reaction, I knew I caught her off guard. She jolted in shock and surprise witnessing my eyes. My condition. My everything.

            “Fani-aaa?” she stuttered. “What’s happening to you?” she tried to approach me and instinctively I stepped back. She startled again to see my reaction and kept moving toward me. She tried to touch me but I abruptly yanked away her hand.

            Her eyes widened when I did it. I never did it to her before, no matter how hard our discord was.

            I caught her eyes suddenly turned into gloom one. But I wouldn’t buy her lie this time. I wasn’t that stupid.

            “YOU SHOULD BE AN ACTRESS!” I shouted at her and she looked baffled. It irritated me even more.

            “What’s going on Fani?” she tried to be patient.

            I lost my patience. I got my temper.

            I stepped forward and abruptly pushed her chest. She shrieked in pain when she stumbled and hit the wall, but I didn’t care.

            “What the hell it was?” she began to yell at me as well.

            “It’s supposed to my question, not yours!”

            “I didn’t get it!”

            Losing my patience, I grabbed her last night shirt and hung it in front her for a moment before throwing it to her face.

            “Explain me about the scent!”

            She seemed taken aback again when noticing what I meant. She remained silent when I stared at her.

            “Great!” I yelled again as she didn’t spill out anything.

            “And the lip mark!” I added resentfully.

            She gasped in surprise and at that time I knew everything was already over. There weren’t us between me and her again. The chapter was ended here. I had to throw away my dream about us that we would make the longest love chapters ever existed in this world. I squinted with my eyes shut and felt my tears began to stream down.

            I felt her touch my cheek, as she used to do when I cried but this time I felt so disgust to feel it. I pushed her away again then I mastered my courage to throw her last question, before I said it’s over.

            “Tell me! Tell me whose it!!!!”

            She remained silent and I demanded again.

            Finally she said, almost above the whisper. Faintly to hear, but I still could catch it clear.

            “It’s Jessica… but I can explain everything…”

            “Shut up, Taeyeon!!!” I cut off. It’s enough to hear another lie from her. I was tired. Tired of hearing those bull remarks.

            She looked down, avoiding my gaze when she said it.

            “It’s Jessica, but…”

            “THERE’S NO BUT, YOU’RE SON OF , TAENG!” I shouted and I did the thing I would never expect to do to her.

            I slapped her cheek. She was surprised but seemed surrender. It must be hurt as I knew I slapped her very hard. Then I saw her cheek suddenly began to redden… and at the corner of the lip, there’s a little blood.

            “WE’RE OVER!”

            I said it with crack voice then drifting into my bed, covering my head with pillow, crying over there. Feeling so bad, so waste, so meaningless, so hurt, so devastated, betrayed by my girlfriend… and my bestfriend at the same time.

            I felt it was worse than death itself.

            I couldn’t believe… it’s happened to me.

            It’s over.

            And it wasn’t a dream.

            We’re really over.

to be continued...

I feel sorry for Tiffany...

I wasn't on Taeng's side but she's human as well... And even a lover... can make a mistake... rite?

It was hard to be accepted... and... yeah, when she said it's over... I couldn't blame her as well

Maybe, just maybe, they weren't meant to be...

Sorry for making your heart broken as well, readers... :(