Don't matter what I say only what I do
I never mean to do bad things to you
So quiet but I finally woke up
If you're sad then its time you spoke up too

(Out of My Head - Fastball)

CHAPTER 18

TAEYEON POINT OF VIEW

       Finding there’s nobody beside me when I woke up in the morning really churned my self-esteem. A kind of strange feeling gnawed at my soul as I knew she’s the one and the first I’d like to greet every morning.

       I loved to wake up with her by my side; watching her sleep, adoring the creature though I knew I’d seen it every day but somehow I never get bored, and waiting her awake while caressing her carefully; or if I couldn’t help, sometimes I stole a kiss on her cheek or forehead.

       And otherwise, in case she woke up earlier, I knew she would stay still on her bed, tilting her body to face me and playing with me straddles of hairs. She bothered to wake me up; so she just would keep quiet but if she began to be impatient, she would wake me up in such a sweet way.

       Usually she would brush her lips on my cheek and forward to my lips. It was working. Naturally I groaned in annoyance, but the next second I moaned in pleasure and slowly opened up my eyes and saw her giggled at me.

       I would cupped her cheeks while closing my eyes again as I still half-awaken, place her head on my chest, and linger one of my arms around her waist. Then I drifted slumber again for some moment. At that time, no matter how cold the weather was, I felt my body was overwhelmed by natural comfortable warmth; just like surrounded by blazing fire.

       But here I was, waking up with uneasy feeling, knowing I was terribly missing something. I got up and decided to approach her again to apologize. I thought her anger might be at least slightly decreased as I’d give her some space. I put myself on my feet and went upstairs, heading to her room. The house was pretty quiet. I meant it was too quiet.

       I popped my head to her room and discovered no presence of her.

       “Fani~aaa? Fani~aaa?”

       I called out her name and I didn’t catch any reaction. I goggled around and found no one here. I heaved a huge sigh and left the room; heading to the dining room.

      I was a little bit surprised when I found some meal on the table; well-prepared. I found a kaya French toast on a plate. Unconsciously my lips were forming a smile.

        She’s mad at me, but she still care about me. I love you a lot, Fani~aaa.

      I grabbed and ate it fast and decided to catch up her and made it up. I knew her schedule today. Well, it was a good indication actually. I wasn’t overconfident but I knew she was missing me too. It’s just a common knowledge between us. We couldn’t live apart for some moment. It was torturing.

       Tiffany creased her eyebrows, trying to decipher what I was doing here. She was walking toward me; her footsteps ~ clinging sound earning by colliding between the steel on her heels and the floor~ was heard clearer as she approached me. I beamed her smile and caught her snorting. It didn’t matter of all to me. I was glad to see her again though I knew she hadn’t completely forgiven me.

       “What are you doing here?” she crossed her arms and looked at me.

       “Picking my girlfriend up,” I said innocently.

       “I’d like to ride a cab,” she shook her head and was about to leave me.

       I huffed and briskly grabbed her hand. She tilted at me.

       “I came here to apologize and say thank you,” I said sincerely while staring at her.

       Tiffany stopped at her track and didn’t try to pull off her hand from my grip, as if giving me a chance to explain.

       “I did a bad thing last night. I knew I wasn’t supposed to not be honest to you,” I said. “And thank you,” I drew an air for a moment. “For still caring about me; though I knew you’re still mad at me.”

       I could see actually there’s no anger anymore inside her eyes. I knew she would only demand for reason and explanation.

       “I still didn’t see the reason,” she replied briefly.

       I nodded my head. “You’re right. I couldn’t tell you,” I spoke gingerly and just caught a gloom dawned on her beautiful eyes again. I swore I didn’t like it.

       “Listen, Fani~aaa,” I hastily said. “Please give me a chance, okay? All I need now is just trust me,” I begged. She yanked her hand away from me and began to leave again.

       She dashed on her heels and ignored my calling.

       She stepped outside; walking on the pavement, heading to taxi queue. I trailed behind; hustled to her.

       She was little bit tingling. I could imagine it was hard to walk at the pedestrian wearing heels. She must be suffering but I knew she just held it. She didn’t want to give me any chance to show my care. Not when she’s mad.

       “Fani~aaa. Please listen to me,” I half shouted at her. She was about two steps in front of me. She just pretended not hearing me.

       At that time I saw the slope and seemed she just looked straight and didn’t realize about it. I gasped when I saw her tripped over the slope and thudded into my back. I clutched her tight and both of us just stumbled backward and ended up I fell down. I didn’t see it coming, but the next I found myself was dizzy.

       I blinked a few times to get rid of the stars from my eyes. I naturally rubbed my head; that felt slightly heavy. Then my elbow that felt so stingy.

       “Omo!!! Taeyeon~aaaa,” I heard the husky voice called out my name. I just couldn’t feel the pain again. It was replaced with a huge amusement. I displayed a smile and in a moment I regain my clear sight again.

       She bent down and looked at me in worry. She rubbed my head gently.

       “Are you okay? Oh God…,” she muttered.

       I nodded my head. “Gwaenchana,” I replied and manage to get up again.

       “Your elbow was bleeding. Why you’re smiling?” she asked me with puzzled look.

       “I’m glad you’re care,” I said bluntly. She briskly hauled up some tissue and cleaned up my wound from the debris. I squinted with my eyes shut; fighting back the pain, then smiled again when I saw her. She shook her head in disbelief but she wrapped her arms around me, helping me to get up, but then I found she squeezed against me.

       “I… I can’t stand up,” she murmured. “I guess my ankle was sprained.”

       She bit her bottom lip, holding the pain. I quickly got up and curled my arm around her waist; while one of her arms wrapped my neck. She tingled and I guided her to sit at the nearly bench.

       “Wait here, okay. I’ll take the car,” I said to her and landed a quick peck on her forehead before leaving.

       “Are you still mad at me?” I asked while driving; whereas I was sure she was no longer mad at me. I stole a glimpse a few times and discovered she smiled. I just .

       “Huffff…,” she huffed instead of answering my question and I couldn’t help but pinched her cheek.

       Then the traffic light just gave me a chance to stop and focus at her.

       “I miss you a lot,” I blurted out. “Are you going to slap me if I kiss you?” I again.

       I knew she struggled hard to hold her giggle. She made it. She put another fake annoyed face.

       “You’d already done that when I sat on the bench,” she pleaded.

       I shook my head. “It was just quick peck. I missed your lips,” I admitted bluntly and tilted my head, beginning to lean forward.

       “Don’t punish me like this,” I said. “You don’t have idea how long I could bear,” I said.

       Finally she tilted her head and looked at me.

       “You’re bad girlfriend,” she exclaimed, but I found no anger inside her tone. I giggled.

       “But I love you so much,” I pleaded and began to find her lips turned up; forming a sweet smile.

       “You also didn’t have any idea how I hate it; sleeping without you by my side,”she mumbled. I leaned closer again.

       “Forgive me, Fani~aaa. I promise I won’t let you down,” I begged sincerely and touched her chin.

       “Can I have your words?” finally she asked. I briskly nodded my head dorkily. She couldn’t help but giggle.

       “Can I kiss you now? Ten seconds left,” I said after glancing at the time indicator.

       She didn’t answer but staring into my eyes. I took it as yes and I dropped her kiss on her lips. She granted my wish as well and my lips playfully. We’re enjoying it when suddenly the loud impatient honk interrupted us. Both of us giggled and I raced our car again.

       “I love you too, Tae,” she whispered after we broke the kiss. I pasted a smile joyfully.

       I carried her on my back as we reached home. I went upstairs; she embraced me tight and leaned her head on my shoulder. I gently put her on the bed. I was glad I made it up. I smooched her cheek quick before heading to bathroom and fulfilled a washbasin with warm water to compress her ankle. I prepared a tube of muscular relaxant cream as well.

        I parted her jeans and began to rub it gently. After some rubs, I looked at her.

       “Hurt?” I asked. She only smiled.

       “Not with you,” she replied cutely. I snorted.

       “Don’t be cheesy,” I said.

       She giggled. “Do you think you’re only one who could be cheesy?”

       “I’m not,” I said. “I’m sweet,” I pleaded and smirked. I knew normally when I was acting like that she would playfully smack at me. And now she just wasn’t able to do that. I loved to this way.

       “I ask you seriously,” I shifted my eyes toward her again. “Hurt or not?”

       She shook her head. “Much better. Slightly pain. Doesn’t matter,” she replied.

       I finished massaged her feet with the cream and put the washbasin aside. She looked baffled when I didn’t say any words and walked toward the closet; where I stowed the things.

       “I suggest you not too often wearing your heels,” I said.

       “I like heels,” she frowned and pleaded.

       “In some occasion yes. In ordinary day, no,” I stated firmly. She frowned again but it didn’t work to me. I need to be firm sometimes.

       “I don’t have any flat,” she pleaded again. I smirked.

       “You’ve had,” I proffered a box of shoes I bought few days ago to her. Her eyes were widening; almost bugging.

       I smiled nonchalantly. “Open it,” I asked.

      She carefully opened it and I could catch a surprising smile on her face when she found a pair of flat shoes inside. She shifted her gaze to me and I nodded my head; giving a cue that I bought it for her. I saw the tears pricked at her eyelids and she just fought it back.

       “How, when, why…,” she couldn’t finish her sentence. I sat beside her; laying my back against the bedpost. She rested her head on my shoulder.

       “I’ve thought about it for a long time. I knew you wouldn’t listen to me. So I decide to buy you some. I want you to be guilty so you would wear it,” I smirked. She peered up and looked at me.

       “No,” she shook her head. “I love it, Taetae,” she said cheerfully. “I wouldn’t wear it because I’m guilty. I really love it,” she was pleased.

       “Thank you, Taetae,” she showed her gratitude to me and I felt her sweet lips brushed my cheeks; gluing for some seconds. I couldn’t help but smile. “I love you,” she whispered near my ear. “I don’t have idea how many times I would say I love you a day; but as long as you don’t mind, I would keep saying that because I really mean it,” she added and I gave her kiss back. She’s so sweet. I thought to myself. I was the most blessed girl in the world.

       And I hope… I could be faith on her. Because I knew once I build a lie; it’s hard to not build another lie.

       I typed some words and re-read it before pressing SEND.

       Sica, what’re u doing? Tiffany found I lie. She’s mad at me but don’t worry, I’ve made it up. It’s clear. She didn’t know anything. You know actually I didn’t like this situation but hell yeah it’s just a matter of time. She would know everything then and I hope she wouldn’t get shock too much. Good night Sicachu…

       XXX

to be continued...

Fiuh... Taeng.. You've already made it up; why you seemed still build another affair with Jessica?

Come on, you wouldn't plan to shift your heart, rite?

I know Tiffany had a random mood, but you knew better, she loved you very much.