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Chapter 28

Why?

~Jaejoong’s POV~

I was furious. I couldn’t find her anywhere and she still wasn’t picking up her phone. I decided to leave the main streets and turned to the dark, quiet roads.

I thought it was impossible to find her there until I saw Junsu’s car parked right in the middle of the road. I looked around and found Junsu and Yoochun fighting a bunch of men.

Then I saw HER. She was standing still, her head bowed.

“Kyoung Mi.” I whispered.

I stopped the car and quickly went out, followed by Yunho who helped the 2.

“Kyoung Mi!!!” I shouted a few steps from her. Reaching her, I immediately trapped her in my arms.

Finally, I found you. Kyoung Mi-ah, why are you here?

“Kyoung Mi-ah, I’m so sorry.” I muttered. I was sorry for not being the one who found her, for not being the one to save her from the hands of maniacs.

I held her face in my hands and wiped her tears. “I’m here now. Don’t cry. You’re safe.”

Her breaths were deep and heavy and she was cold. “Kyoung Mi?”

She didn’t respond, she didn’t even look at me. Next thing I knew, I was already supporting her body. She was unconscious. “Kyoung Mi!”

Later that day. . .

~Kyoung Mi’s POV~

“Kyoung Mi-ah, I’m so sorry.” Those words kept on playing in my head. I felt dizzy and my legs were horribly sore like I ran endless miles.

My eyes snapped open as the events from the past night flashed through my vision.

I DID run miles. I thought.

I looked around and realized I was back in my room in our suite in L.A. I had no idea how I ended up there until a tight squeeze on my waist made me turn around.

Jaejoong was lying beside me. Lee Jun was lying beside me.

“Kyoung Mi-ah, I’m so sorry.”

I wondered if he knew that I happened to eavesdrop. I didn’t see any other reason why he’d apologize.

“Kyoung Mi-ah.” He muttered in his sleep.

It hurt my heart to hear him say my name the way he used to like nothing has changed, but A LOT of things have changed. I was confused. Should I leave him? Should we break up? Does he have a valid explanation for lying to me? But why did he leave without a message? How can he explain that? And most of all, WHY did he lie to me?

I loved him more than anything, but at that moment, anger and the feeling of betrayal dominated my heart. My heart wasn’t beating crazily the way it used to when Jaejoong called me in his sleep. It felt as if I’ve been deprived of the thing that was meant for only me.

“Why?” I whispered.

Jaejoong stirred, but didn’t wake up. He moved closer to me and cuddled his face in my neck.

I lied flat on my back, not wanting to react to his actions.

Push him away, Kyoung Mi! My thought said.

I want to, damn it! I thought back.

Then go! You think he has the right to even sleep with you? He doesn’t deserve you, Kyoung Mi. Don’t waste any more of your time. You’ve already spent so many years for that guy.

I know, but. . .

Somehow, when someone else, well not really someone else ‘cause it’s my own thoughts, but you know what I mean. When someone else tells me how badly I want to throw him away, I somehow feel more attached, like I can’t leave despite the things he did.

“Argh!” I groaned. My head ached. I didn’t know what to do. I was mad, but at the same time, I wanted him. I wanted to hug and kiss him and tell him that I missed him so much. I wanted to tell him that it’s okay, that I didn’t care ‘cause I’ve loved him from the start.

But the sensible me kept me from doing that. My instincts told me that I shouldn’t forgive him just like that, that something was still kept from me, that I still needed to know something.

I slowly pulled away, not wanting to wake him up while I was still thinking about what to do. Gladly, he did not even stir. I went to the main room and headed to the veranda. It was almost noon, but no one else was awake.

Your fault. I thought. Everyone’s exhausted because of you.

I sighed and sat on the plant box at the far end of the veranda and leaned on the metal railing. “What should I do?”

~Jaejoong’s POV~

Her face, her tears, the fear in her eyes, I saw it all in my sleep. It haunted me even in my dreams. The way she didn’t look at me, the way she kept silent, the way she kept her arms on her sides instead of wrapping them around me when I came.

“Kyoung Mi-ah.” I guess I muttered in my sleep again. She told me that when I sleep in her room, I would always say her name and she’d get goosebumps.

I stretched my arm to hug her, but I felt nothing but cloth. I slowly opened my eyes. I was right, she wasn’t there. I sat up and looked around. Her phone was lying on her bedside table so I knew she didn’t leave. I walked out to the main room. The others were still asleep, but the door to the veranda was open, so I looked.

I stepped out and saw my Kyoung Mi fast asleep with her head against the cold railing. It was breezy and she wasn’t wearing any sweater, so I took off my jacket and wrapped it around her. I sat down as well, placed my hand around her waist and rested her head on my shoulder.

“Why did you leave?” I whispered, her face with my other hand.

I sat there, humming to her as she slept, thinking why she ran away the other night, thinking of what I did wrong for her not to tell me she was leaving.

“I love you.” I whispered.

She stirred and I saw her open her eyes.

“Hey.” I brushed her cheek with my fingers, “How are you?”

She shrugged.

“You hungry?”

She nodded.

“Arasso. Baby Jae will cook something for my yeobo, okay?”

She nodded again, but wasn’t looking at me.

“Yeobo?” I cupped her chin and made her look at me. Her eyes found mine, but I didn’t see any emotion. “You’re still scared, baby? About last night?”

She just stared at me, tears building in her eyes.

“Kyoung Mi-ah, please talk to me. It scares me, not knowing your thoughts, not knowing why you’re like this. Why did you leave? Did I do something? Tell me please. It hurts me, not being able to do anything to help you. Baby, please tell me.” I begged, wiping the first tears that flowed down her cheeks.

Her lips trembled, but she still kept silent.

“Kyoung Mi-ah.” I leaned in to kiss her lips to make her feel better. She used to say that my kiss was her best cure, but at that time, she looked down and pulled away from me.

“Kyoung Mi?” I whispered. “Kyoung Mi, did I do something to hurt you?”

She was silent, not moving until she wrapped her arms around me and whispered. “I love you.”

~Kyoung Mi’s POV~

“Kyoung Mi?” He whispered. “Kyoung Mi, did I do something to hurt you?”

I didn’t respond right away. He hurt me so much, but it hurt me much more when I realized that he has no idea why I was ignoring him. I felt his pain, the pain that he felt because of worrying about me. He loved me so much, much more than I ever asked.

I wrapped my arms around him and told him I loved him. I loved him, true. I was still mad at him for what he did, but I knew I’d go crazy without him.