When I went back to Chicago, then drove back down to my hometown, I felt somewhat relieved that I had told TOP the truth. Now he knew, and I wasn't lying to him. He and I had been okay. Everything seemed fine.

Two days after I came home, I told my closest friends: Carly, Kelsey, Julie, and AJ. They all flipped. Carly, Kelsey, and Julie were extremely happy right away. AJ... since he knew about the incident between TOP and I back in December (He HAD been the guy I called as soon as it happened), he was definitely more skeptical. But he was happy I was happy.

The days passed by slowly. Vinny was home, so I had someone to be with. But he also went out with his old high school friends, which were my friends too, So I would play video games or watch movies with them when they were over. When Vinny was out and I was home alone for whatever reason, Carly or Kelsey would come over and we'd hang out. Or AJ and I would go on walks or stay at my house and watch movies.

TOP and I talked on the phone every day. We skyped, too. He seemed alright. He asked me how the baby was all the time, and he said he'd be there when I had my amniocentesis appointment. He said he loved me know matter what. And I hoped it would be true no matter what.

Angelina had her baby two weeks later. Yuki Alessia Urihimo. She's so gorgeous, and has big brown eyes like her dad. I go over and help Angelina a lot. It's hard to believe I'll have one of them in seven months. Almost six months, though.

I still flew in to perform every now and then. All I would do is sing. TOP and I would be stuck like glue. He was always by my side, and would keep his arms around me or kiss me a lot. Seungri would just kind of be on the sidelines. He hadn't spoken about his possibility of being the father since I confessed to TOP that it wasn't necessarilly me, I guess it was for the best.

When I was home, Mom and Dad definitely kept a close eye on me. They made sure I ate nothing but organic food, and yelled whenever I even mentioned any kind of diet soda. I was on a strict diet.

I started looking up facts about being pregnant. It was really scary with the things a baby could develop. Mental disorders... physical disorders... it terrified me.

I kind of started worrying. By ten weeks, I kind of had a baby bump. Not extremely noticeable, but it was definitely there. Was it normal?

When I asked my mom about it, she shrugged and said. "You were extremely thin before you were pregnant. I showed around your time.... but that was when I was pregnant with you and Vincent. I think it's normal. You're fine, hun."

But I didn't feel fine... I felt like something was... different. Would the baby be okay?

Finally... It was time to find out. TOP and Seungri would be flying in for their own DNA testing. They would both go to the clinic with me.

I wore my cross necklace the day of my appointment. I kept touching it, and I was praying to God that the baby would be okay. That it would be TOP's.

Please... Please, God... Just let the baby be okay.

I prayed so much. The Italian Hail Mary the most:

Ave Maria, piena di grazia,
il Signore è con te.
Tu sei benedetta fra le donne
e benedetto è il frutto del tuo seno, Gesú.
Santa Maria, Madre di Dio,
prega per noi peccatori,
adesso e nell'ora della nostra morte.
Amen

I just wanted everything to be okay.

Next thing I knew... it was time to go.