CHAPTER 47 : Eulogy (2)

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(No One’s POV)

The party continued for another half an hour with just chatting off, picture taking and laughing.

Yoona’s been watching her friends from the start. She’s thinking what will happen after.

‘Lay. Will he still be the same serious guy that gives advices and be the father-like figure to others if they need one?

Fany. Will she continue showing her eyes smile to anyone who smiles at her and be the same reliable friend for others?

Taeyeon. Will she manage to face the reality that nothing is permanent in this world?

Tao. Will he be the same childish guy that can make anyone annoyed and happy at the same time?

Donghae. Will he still have the same calm and smiling face that everyone can turn to?

Sica. Will she go back to being the Ice Queen that no one can approach?

TOP. Will he be able to totally show his real self to those who don’t know him much?

Yuri. Will she stay as bubbly as she is now and continue to play silly games with Tao?

Hyuna. Will she be the same happy-go-lucky that everyone is fond of?

Chaerin. Will she go back to being the aloof geek that all people are cautious of and learn to show her true feelings to her friends?

Jaejoong. Can he still write music about love and be the same ‘Hero’ for his fans?

Jiyong. Can he still manage to love someone as much as he loves me? And will he be able to move on from something that he lost?

Mom and Dad. Will they be able to go on with their lives knowing that something big has been already taken away from them?’

All she can think of are those things, all the possibilities that will happen and can happen after she died.

Death.

‘No one can take that word away from my mind.’ She thought.

“Messages? Guys?” Fany asked through the mic.

It made Yoona’s train of thoughts to stop.

“I want to say something.” Hyuna volunteered and went straight to the front.

“Ahmm…Hello guys…Yoona. What should I say, actually? Hahaha.” She laughed. “Is ‘Thank You’ enough? *sigh* I don’t have any idea.”

She paused and looked down her feet before looking forward and sees Fany who’s smiling at her and say, “Fighting.”

“Yoona…You know that I love you,right? Even if I’m always with Hyunseung. If only I knew about your condition earlier, I should’ve spent most of my times with you.” She said.

“We are going to make more memories, right? I really hope we are. You know what? You’re an angel. Maybe some of them already think about it. Hehe. But I mean it. Your company is the best. Even if you’re just eating on one side without talking.”

Everyone laughed at her comment.

“Just leave her with foods and she’ll be the happiest person on earth.” Tao added.

“Yah!” Yoona softly protested.

“Hahaha. That is true.” Hyuna looked down again and silence filled the place. “Ah~ Hahaha. I shouldn’t give a very sad vibe, I’m sorry.” She awkwardly smiled.

“This is my confession to Jiyong.” She added.

“To me?” Jiyong asked while pointing at himself.

“Yes. Do you remember Yoona when we’re at our favorite place facing the soccer field? You remember that, guys?” She asked Taeyeon and Chaerin.

“Yes. We do. Hahaha.” They both answered and started laughing.

“The blonde guy?” Yoona asked and eyed Jiyong.

“Yes, the blonde guy. Hahaha. That time, I have a very big crush on this blonde guy because he looks so hot while playing soccer plus his hair color. Hahaha. I even became a towards Nana when she thought the blonde guy was coming for her, and he ended up in front of us and called your name.”

Yoona smiled, reminiscing the very scenario Hyuna’s talking about.

“So…yeah. I never thought that one of my crushes is your one of a kind love. It made me think, am I that clever? I’m liking those who are worth loving. Hahaha. I hope so.”

“You are right, Hyuna.” Jiyong brags.

“Hahaha. So you have to prove to them that I’m right. I know that you both love each other. Even after all the falls and hurts, you’re still here standing side by side in front of me. Be happy. Love is…love is important. Care for her, ‘cause if you don’t, I’m willing to care for her until the end. I love being with her. Even without saying anything, I feel comfortable. There are no dull moments with you, Yoona. Even if you’re just standing in one corner without talking, as long as you’re smiling, I feel relieve.” She began to cry.

“As l-long as you’re a-alive *sobs*…” She continued to cry in front of them. “I love you Yoona.”

Then she run and hugged Yoona tight.

“I thought you don’t know what to say?” Yoona tried to make the atmosphere light.

“Hehe. I was carried away. I’m sorry.” Hyuna calmed herself before giving the mic to TOP.

‘Stay.’ She thought.

“Am I really the next one?” TOP asked. “Anyways, this will be short. I promise.”

He paused for a few seconds and started talking again.

“They said they’re on your side, then I’m going to admit that I’m on your side too. I’m just not sure if you’re going to believe it.” He smiled.

“You’re smiling.” Yoona teased.

“Tss.” He hissed and his face suddenly changed to his normal poker face. “I may look like the one who doesn’t care…but the real thing is, I was worried…I am worried. You all know the reason. And then I was so embarrassed, up until now, about what Sulli did. I never thought she can do such awful things, especially to someone like you.” He bowed to her. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay TOP. You don’t have to say sorry. It’s all in the past now.” Yoona said.

TOP smiled again and that made Yoona smile too.

“Ahh~ So ah…I’m not into this kind of thing actually. I don’t have much to say but…Yoona, you became my friend even if I don’t talk much with you. Maybe they’re right. You can make everyone like you without doing anything. This whole group loves you, 3TS love you, our fans love you, and most especially, my fans love you.”

“Hahaha.” They all laughed. Jaejoong and Donghae shook their head in embarrassment.

“Why?” He asked them seriously. “So in short, I love you too…Not romantically, of course. You don’t have to look shock Jiyong.”

They all laughed again, this time, because of Jiyong.

Yoona is busy laughing that she noticed TOP is already standing in front of her.

“Here’s a rose for you.” TOP handed her a white rose and carried her to the center. He then let her down like the way Jiyong did earlier.

“Are you okay with the way I carry you?” He asked.

“It’s fine. You’re just too tall. Haha.” Yoona answered.

*piano plays*

“This is our song for you.” TOP whispered.

“Wait, wh-“ She then looked at her friends already standing in the front while Lay is playing the piano.

***

(AT THE BEGINNING by: Richard Marx)
[FANY]
We were strangers, starting out on a journey
Never dreaming, what we'd have to go through
[SICA]
Now here we are, I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

[TAO]
No one told me I was going to find you
Unexpected, what you did to my heart
[HAE]
When I lost hope, you were there to remind me
This is the start

[ALL]
And life is a road that I wanna keep going
Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you
***

TOP joined the chorus and he saw Yoona’s tears falling from her eyes.

***
[CHAERIN]
We were strangers, on a crazy adventure
Never dreaming, how our dreams would come true
[HYUNA / TOP]
Now here we stand, unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

[YURI]
And life is a road that I wanna keep going
Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing
[JAEJOONG]
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey
[LAY]
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
[TAEYEON]
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you
***

*sobs*
*sniffs*

“Can I have this dance, please?” Tao appeared and asked.

TOP smiled and assisted Yoona to Tao’s arm.

“You’re light. Stop crying.” He said and Yoona unconsciously smiled.

***
[JAEJOONG / FANY]
Knew there was somebody, somewhere
A new love in the dark
[JIYONG]
Now I know my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
***

As soon as she heard Jiyong’s voice, she looked up and locked her gaze with him.

***
[JIYONG]
Nothing's gonna tear us apart
***

She then cried hard in Tao’s arms. All he can do is too feel sad and hold her tightly so that she won’t fall.

He knew he will cry soon but his mind is controlling everything for Yoona’s sake. She can’t see his weakness now. She can’t see how he was hurting and also afraid what might happen.

***
[YURI / TAO]
And life is a road that I wanna keep going
([TAEYEON] And life~)
Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing
[DONGHAE]
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey
[TOP / SICA]
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
[CHAERIN / TAEYEON / HYUNA]
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

([DONGHAE] Yeah~)

[FANY]
Life is a road that I wanna keep going
Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing on
Starting out on a journey
[JAEJOONG / LAY]
Life is a road that I wanna keep going
Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing
[ALL]
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning…
[FANY / JIYONG]
With you
***

Yoona saw how her friends cry. The girls are crying and that made her cry even more, made her feel sad even more.

“That’s how much we love you, Yoona.” Tao whispered.

Yoona just nods and hugged him tighter.

The others started to go back to their previous place but Yuri stayed in front holding the mic on her hands.

“*sniff* I’m so sorry. I’m so emotional right now.” Yuri apologized.

She turned her back from them and paused for a few seconds.

“*sigh* Ahmm…I love my friends.” She smiled. “I don’t know if you appreciate the way I express it but…I really do. I love my brother, my step-brother, my friends, their friends. I don’t want anything bad to happen to them. *chuckles* Who wants that, right? But I really don’t want to lose someone important to me in such an awful way. Not this kind of way. When I was 7, I got the chance to be friends with Yoong. I don’t know how it actually happens but I hate my brother that time because he always bullies her. That was so sudden. One day they are playing together then the next day he pushed her on the ground full of mud! Aish. I really hate him that time. Maybe that’s when it started, me being a little more protective over her. I sided you before because I know you’re the one on the right side and I hate to see you getting hurt by my brother again. I’ve had enough, I told myself. I think I’m ready to turn my back at him that time but I can’t. I just can’t. That’s because I love him. And that’s like the bond we’ve built for the past years Yoong. Even if I say it’s okay for me, the truth is it’s not. It will never be okay. So…I can’t…” She said continuously and suddenly broke down into tears. She covered to control her tears.

“Y-Yoong…please…be heal-thy. Don’t give up, okay? I want you to be there when my first child was born, his first birthday, every event; I want you to be there. I want all of you to be there, with me…with us. So stay with us always. I love you Yoong…”

Yuri run towards Yoona and cried in her arms. She can’t stop herself. She’s hurting too much because she knows it’s here.

“I love you too, Yul.” Yoona said, smiling widely at all of them.

Yuri should’ve stop crying when she said it but then she cried even more when Yoona said, “I will always be with you. I will never leave you.”

When Yuri started to calm down, she gave the mic to Fany. Fany went in front to start her speech.

“A-yo! Hello~” She bowed. “Ahh~ What should I say? Everything I wanted to say has already been said.” She chuckled. “But that only means one thing. We all love you the same, but maybe for Jiyong, it’s more. Even if they’ve known you for life or for just 4 years, no one cares as long as we love you.” She smiled.

“It’s true that you don’t know it but it doesn’t matter. You’re very easy to love. From the very first conversation I had with you when we’re 7 years old, I already predicted that you’ll be my best friend. And I predicted right. Until now, all the things that we did together are inside my heart. And it will never go away. All of it will be treasured. I’ll never let go of it even if you say so.” She tears up but immediately wiped it away.

“Hahaha. Lay told me to be tough.” She looked at Lay. “Now, can I stop acting?”

Lay just smiled and nods his head at her.

“Because I can’t hide the pain I feel anymore. *sniff* I know I’m showing up to you like I don’t care about your sickness, but that’s only because I know you. You never want to hurt someone *sniff* and you think that if we feel sad because of you then you’re hurting us. No, Yoong. It’s inevitable. ‘Pain demands to be felt.’ I remember that line. So I cried every day because of pain. I know you don’t want that but I can’t stop…” 

She paused and walks towards Yoona.

“I see you as a happy person but being happy aren’t always appropriate. What do you feel if someone close to you will leave? Of course you will feel hurt, right? So stop thinking about getting us hurt because it’s normal. It’s normal because we just love you too much. Make every negative a positive one, Yoong. I...we…we forced ourselves to forget about your sickness because whenever we remember it, we c-can’t-” She cracked her voice. “We can’t help but to cry. I don’t know if this goes for the others too but I cried every day.” She smiles.

She wiped the tears falling from Yoona’s eyes.

“I don’t want to see you not giving up just because we never want you to give up. Don’t do it for us. I will just give up only when you say ‘give up now’.” She whispered to her.

“*sniff* All I wanted is for you to be happy, besides getting cured, of course. So whatever decisions you’ve made, I’ll respect it. Even if it hurts, I’ll endure it.” She looked at her in the eyes. “Just please…stay with us for more years… *sigh* Sorry for crying guys…okay! I love you.”

She finished and she hugged her tighter than she usually do and continue to cry. Yoona just hushed her to stop but her own tears are falling freely from her eyes.

After a few minutes, a video presentation was played.

Pictures of all of them together, from childhood to young adults. It was all with Yoona. Some was taken during their sleep overs at Im’s residence when they are all asleep, some was from random days together, some were taken at school, parties, etc., and from college days. Some pictures are stolen at the cafeteria of Yoona’s department with Chaerin, Hyuna and Taeyeon, and under the big tree near the soccer field where they usually hang out.

They were all wearing the same thing. 

Smile.

Friendship. Love. Hurt. Smile. Laugh. Cry.

Those were the words that are used to describe the photos.

“Lay…” Yoona whispered.

“Hi.”

Lay smiled in front of them and Yoona cried uncontrollably.

“Need I say more?” He started. “Yoona…”

He called but Yoona didn’t stop crying. She’s just covering her eyes with her hands while sobbing.

“Stop crying…” Lay came to her and took her hands away from her face before wiping her tears using his fingers.

“I told you…” TOP whispered to Sica. “I really think they are lovers…”

“Shhh.” Sica glared at him with eyes full of tears.

“That’s not what I wanted you to do…and not the reaction I expect.” Lay continued.

Yoona composed herself and tried not to cry but she can’t. Her tears just fall from her eyes like they have their own lives. But at least she managed to suppress the sobs.

Lay went back to the front and smiled.

“The video presentation was…obviously taken from many, many years ago up to present. It’s for you, Yoona. I don’t know if all of you noticed, but all the pictures contain smiles, your smile…even if the caption says ‘Hurt and Cry’. *sigh* The purpose of it is for you to realize that your smile…”

Lay suddenly paused and looked down for a few seconds before looking back at them and smiled weakly.

“…that your smile is enough for us to carry on with anything. We just wanted you to be happy. But all you can think of is us. You’re worrying for something that we can learn, that we will soon be used to. Donghae is right, you’re selfless; everyone is right…you’re smile is important, yet you don’t know that. You have this particular thing on your smile that makes anyone who sees it to smile too. In short, you’re smile is deadly contagious.”

He paused for a while.

“I don’t want my speech to sound like a eulogy but I know that it is. I hate it. You know…” He creased his brows. “…I don’t know how I end up giving advises. Actually, I’m just mad and madly worried for you that’s why I make comments like that. I never thought you’ll think of my words as ‘words of wisdom’. *chuckles* Anyway, I don’t know if anyone of you saw me crying-“

“We never saw you cry.” The girls plainly said.

“Hahaha. That’s because I know you’re all hurting. And if I add to that and cry too, how can we see that there’s a possibility that something good will happen, right? But to be honest…I’m crying…every single night. And I am praying for something that I’m sure you too are praying for.”

“Lay…” Yoona called.

“What?” He responds. “You’re going to cry again? Tss. I told you, I hate it. I hate you when you feel like you’re the cause of all the sadness in the world.”

Yoona’s eye widened. Lay’s voice is already rising and she knows he’ll give rants soon.

“*sigh* I don’t want to give rants now Yoona…”

With that, Yoona smiled. ‘He really knows what’s inside my mind. I love you Lay.’ She thought.

“That. I want to see that smile.” He smiled at her. “We all love you. And all I hope now is that whatever happens; never ever forget that all the people around you are glad that they’ve met someone as worthy as you. You made us all smile unconsciously, I witnessed that. And please…keep in mind that you’ve given us happy memories to treasure, not the other way around. When ‘that’ time comes, feel no regrets, okay? I just want to see you smile until the end. That’s enough for me to carry on with my life. I hope that it’s for them too. I love you.”

Yoona didn’t stop crying the whole time. Lay hugged her after his speech and he never let go. The girls cried when they saw Lay crying in Yoona’s arms. It’s the first. The guys feel the love between them and it made them sad. Tao and Jaejoong shed a tear.

Before he let go of her, he whispered again, “I love you.”

“Jiyong…” Sica called. “It’s your turn…”

“Okay…okay.” He said and gets the mic.

“But I don’t have anything to say. You already told her you love her.” He started. 

“Tss. Yah! Don’t be a wimp, oppa!” Yuri shouted.

“*chuckles* I don’t want to see Yoona cry anymore. Just what you guys want her to do, I also want her to smile…until the end. And what I’m going to say…or not…is a promise.”

He took her left hand and kneeled in front of her.

“I love to see that the ring I gave you last Christmas is still on your ring finger. *chuckle* You love me that much, ha?” He joked.

Yoona pulled her hand away from his and slightly slap his arms before smiling. But Jiyong held it again.

“I’m just joking…I love you so much!”

All of them laughed with tears in their eyes. They are seeing a tough guy in front of them, for the first time, he’s not crying over Yoona.

Then Jiyong’s smile vanishes. “Honestly, I’m not ready…” He stares at her. “I am not ready to let you go. Actually, I doubt if I’ll ever be ready.” He paused and tightened his grip on her hands.

“I thought you don’t want me to cry?” Yoona asked as her tears flow down her face.

“I-I’m sorry…” He said and wiped her tears with his thumbs. “But if you say you’re ready, *sigh* then I will have to be ready too. But no matter what happens, this love I have for you will never decrease. This one of a kind love will remain forever. At least we have our forever.”

He let go of her hands and hugged her.

“I feel like I can’t let you go now. I miss you already…” He whispered.

“You’re silly Ji…but I miss you too.” Yoona responds.

“*chuckle* When I miss you, I’ll just think of your smile. That’s enough for me to continue living. Trust me on this…nothing’s going to tear us apart. I will never leave you alone.” He continued whispering.

And he claimed her lips.

“I love you, Yoona.”

“I love you too, Jiyong.”

He stood up but he never let go of her hands.

“By the way guys, I have another song for Yoona. But I’m not going to sing it live. I wrote it yesterday and recorded it last night after I finished it.” Jiyong said.

The music stated to play and Lay came to them.

“Can I have this dance?” Lay asked showing his dimples.

“*chuckles* How can I say no to that?” Yoona laughed and touch his dimples.

***

(I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU by: Erick Santos)

You are safe here in my arms
Never fear I’ll be beside you
Feel my love, touching your soul
***

“Sorry for being a burden.” Yoona said.

“Who said that? I’ll kick him right on his .” Lay chuckled.

“Me. Are you going to kick me?” Yoona replied.

“I told you not to think that way! Aish.” Lay said irritated.

“I’m sorry…”

“Tss. Yoong. You are not a burden, okay?

***
Holding you close as I whisper to you

I will never leave you hold on tight
***

“Listen.” Lay asked.

***
Promise to stay forever by your side
I will never leave you promise I'll
Stay forever I will never leave you behind

Stay with me and you will see
I will be the one you've been dreamin’
I won't hurt the heart that you've given me
You'll never be wounded in my arms I promise

I will never leave you hold on tight
Promise to stay forever by your side
And I will always love you
***

“He’s really caught off guard, totally head over heels for you.” Lay said.

“*chuckles* Is that so? *sigh* I really appreciate everything. Ahh~ *sigh*” She paused. “Be happy always, okay Lay? You are Mu6’s father. Hahaha. Mu6 will never be Mu6 without me-“

“I told y-“

“Hep!” Yoona covered his mouth. “Let me finish first, okay?” She waited for him to nod before removing her hands over his mouth. “Mu6 will never be Mu6 without me so include Jiyong to it. At least you’re still 6.” She smiled.

“I thought…Tss. Never mind. Are you alright?” Lay hesitates.

“*sigh* Of course, I am. You said you will never find love until I have the right one for me. So…it’s time for you to look for someone to love, I know I’m in good hands now.”

“Tss. Such a nagger.”

***
Promise I'll
Stay forever I will never leave you behind

And every moment, every minute, every hour of my life
I intend to live my whole life with you
I will be your home and you'll be safe forever in my arms
And we'll make it through

I will never leave you hold on tight
Promise to stay forever by your side
I will never leave you promise I'll
Stay forever I will never leave you behind......

(Hold on tight promise to stay forever by your side)
I'll be with you... whenever, wherever, whenever.
(And I will never leave you promise I)
Promise I'll stay forever
I will never leave you behind....

You are safe here in my arms
'Coz I will never leave you
Leave you behind.....
***

“Can I?” Jiyong asked.

“Ji, here.” Lay assists Yoona to Jiyong.

Jiyong smiled at her first before hugging her tightly.

“Every moment, every minute, every hour of my life, I intend to live my whole life with you.” He sings softly in her ears.

Yoona closed her eyes and cry silently.

“I will be your home and you'll be safe forever in my arms…and we'll make it through~”

The song continues and they are both crying while holding each other closely.

She thinks about the happy memories she had with all of her friends. From the first exchange of Hi and Hello, the time when Jiyong pushed her on the ground and all the times that he bullied her, up to the time when Jiyong and Jaejoong came back and everything happened and they became college students and started living together. She thinks about how she thought Jiyong was a and stalker. She remembers the day she confessed her love for Jiyong to the bottle of Soju she’s drinking. Every kiss, every hurt she feels, the miscarriage that happened, and every tears they both shed for each other. 

All the memories flashed inside her mind. From the awful things to the sweetest thing he did and say to her.

*sigh*

“You are safe here in my arms…” He whispered the lyrics to her despite of his sobs. “'Cause I will never leave you, leave you behind.”

“Jiyong…” Yoona called.

He pushed her slightly and looked at her in the eyes, both pairs are in tears.

“Let go.” She whispered softly and smiled, but enough for Jiyong to hear and feel fear.

He felt her hands slowly slipping down his shoulders and arms before Yoona completely close her eyes.

“Y-Yoona…” Jiyong stuttered. 

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APRIL FOOL’S DAY ?

A/N: that's what you called "FRIENDSHIP".. 

hello !!! hehe ,sorry if i update so late.. thanks again for reading my story!!! ^_^