CHAPTER 25 : Kismet

----------

I looked at my reflection in the mirror. After watching the music video, they started to act strange. They tried to be normal by opening a conversation but a moment after, it will be awkward again. We could’ve tried harder, though. So I excused myself and went here, inside the bathroom again. I washed my face with cold water believing that my thoughts will be drained to the sink too. 

“I hate you, puffy eyes.” I told my reflection.

Yes. I’m crying. I never thought that he will still have the same effect on me after the break up. Maybe, all this time, I’m lying to myself? Maybe I just made myself believe that I’m over him because we are done, but I guess I’m wrong. The pain I thought I buried for a month now came back to life.

And it hurts. It still hurts.

Their song, his lines pricks my heart and I’m tired to pretend that I’m okay. Kismet, fate.

“Yeah. Fate.”

---

We never opened that topic again since then. I never want to hear about it from them, actually. If it’s just a normal song, fine, I’m okay with it. But no. His lines are telling me that he still loves me. I know that it’s for me because the last scene in the music video is Jae, writing a letter that addresses for me, ‘Im Yoona’. 

Everyone in our class keeps on bugging me about it but I continue to deny everything. I will just wait for them to get tired of it. The music video was released for weeks now and it’s still trending. I am still trending.

“Are you okay, Yoona? It’s almost midnight but you look bothered. Aren’t you going to sleep?” Fany asked.

“I’m okay, don’t worry.” I lied and felt guilty all of a sudden when she smiled at me.

“Okay. Goodnight, Yoong.”

“Actually, no. I’m not okay.” I started.

“You know you can tell me anything.” She sits up and faced me.

“Fany…It…It still hurts here.” I pointed at my left chest and my tears started to fall.

“Shh.” She hushed and hugged me.

“It hurts me that I’m beginning to regret the decision that I made.”

Fany keeps on patting my shoulders.

“I think I’m the dumbest person to let him go after he said that he still loves me, that he realized that it’s me, that it’s me all the time.”

I continue to cry on Fany’s arm and after some time, she talked.

“Shh. Yoona, you’re not dumb. I guess all these things you are experiencing right now are just effects of break up. I’m sure all people with heart breaks are experiencing those things too.”

“…”

“I know that you know the Grieving Process. You see, at first you denied the fact that you’re not hurting after your break up. Then you didn’t want to hear his name or even see his face because you’re mad at him. When we watched the music video released, you started to think about the ‘what if’s’, bargaining. Then now you’re depressed. You’re beginning to regret the decisions you made. Yoona…*sigh* Sooner or later you will get to acceptance stage; you will learn to accept everything. I’m not dictating you to do anything that you don’t want to but please…please try hard to figure out the difference between right and wrong. Or just at least try harder to figure out the reason why you made those decisions in the first place.”

I’m trying to force everything that she said to sink inside my head. She continues to explain and I continue to hug her.

“If you feel left out when he left, then you’re wrong. There’s always someone who cares for you without your knowledge, okay? Now sleep. We’re going to that party tomorrow.”

I nodded.

She goes back to her bed and sleep while I’m still wide awake.

‘Thirsty.’

I went downstairs to get something to drink. The lights are all out and due to darkness, I didn’t notice someone walking towards me and I bumped with her, or him.

“Yoong…”

“Lay?”

He creased his brows and touched my face.

“Did you cry?” He asked.

“Y-Yes.”

“Tell me.”

We stayed inside the kitchen and I told him everything that bothers me, even the advices given by Fany.

“She’s right, Yoong.” He said.

“I agree with her Lay. But I just can’t explain what I feel. It’s like it just happen yesterday.” I suddenly felt my eyes tear up.

“Tss. You’ll get over it sooner or later. Don’t push yourself ‘coz it will happen anyway. ‘Kay?” Lay hugged me as I cried on his chest for few minutes.

“Hmm. What about the 3TS fans? Are they still bothering you?” He asked.

“No, they’re not bothering me like last week anymore. Actually, earlier in school, someone came over me and told me that she’s a big fan of 3TS. I thought she will do or say something harsh but she smiled sweetly and told me that she respects the 3TS and she’ll respect me too. She said that whatever it is that’s going on between me and their Jaejoong oppa, she will still give her full support for them. And because Jae said that he hurt me once, he never wants to see me hurting anymore because of him.”

“So?” He asked confused.

“What ‘So?’? He’s being sweet again Lay!” I said matter-of-factly.

“And you’re falling in love with him again?”

“I…No. I mean…I don’t know.”

“See? You’re confused. You are doing a big mistake right now. By what I can sense, what you feel right there…isn’t love anymore.” He pointed at my left chest.

I creased my brows and looked at him.

“You’re feeling sad because he’s sad, that’s all. Yoona, you are not liable for his sadness, he made that to himself. What you feel is pity not love. Don’t mistake love for pity because if you did that, you’ll regret it forever.”

We looked at each other for a few seconds before he drinks his milk. I smiled.

“Oh Lay!” I hugged him tightly. 

‘I think I’ll be over him soon. Thanks for making me realize it sooner.’ I thought and hugged him tighter.

---

I woke up late in the morning. The girls are all busy finding what to wear later tonight. Since it's a national holiday today, Frday, we don't classes. It's a long weekend and these people arranged a night out for all of us.

‘Omo! I totally forget about that!’

“Hey, good morning.” I greeted them as I walked towards the dining area.

“Good morning, beautiful.” Jiyong greeted and I automatically blushed.

He grinned at me. What the-! Aish, this guy is a real pain in the head!

“So where will we go tonight, Ji?” Fany asked as she tries to suppress her laugh.

Tss. As if I never noticed her dirty looks at me.

“Noise Basement 1.” Jiyong answered.

“Is that a branch of the bar we’ve been before?” Tao confirmed.

“Yes, it is. Actually, NB 1, NB 2, and Harlem have only one owner.”

“Yang Hyun Suk, right?” Lay said.

“Yeah.” Jiyong nodded.

After lunch, I took a nap and I was later woken up by the very excited Sica.

“Yoong! It’s almost 6PM! Wake up and get ready!”

“Okay.” I replied lazily.

I never thought I slept that long. I stretched my arms and legs and headed to the bathroom. I then start to get ready for the party tonight. I feel like it will be fun.

---

“Hi.”

As soon as we entered Noise Basement 1, the girls we passed by are saying ‘Hi’ to these guys with us.

“Woah.” Tao and Jiyong reacted.

They looked like a first timers in a bar. Tss. They are in awe seeing girls in a very, very short dresses and skirts.

‘Tss. Boys will be boys.’ I rolled my eyes.

We party like we never want to stop.

Wait. Why are we partying here anyway? Hahaha. No reasons. We just want to unwind from all the stresses we had these past weeks. From all the stresses the preliminaries gave us. Gosh. We didn't have time to even eat dinner together due to our own busy schedules. Anyways, it's almost midterms but we're all here in Noise Basement 1 partying.

I’m really enjoying myself now. They said that ‘Depression ‘is the longest stage? That doesn’t work for me. Because from what I have experienced, it’s the ‘Denial’ that’s longest. And now, I already accepted that it’s really over. Thanks to my friends.

“Why so smiley?!” Yuri shouted. We’re in the middle of the dance floor so we’re literally shouting at each other.

“I’m already on the ‘Acceptance Stage’!” I shouted back.

I know that she knows what I’m talking about and she smiled at me.

Sica then hugged me. “Finally! Here’s your shot!” She offered me a drink.

We never get tired of dancing until the DJ played a love song. Tao suddenly appeared and danced with Yuri. Same goes to Sica and Lay and I saw Fany dancing to a random guy she met earlier. I shook my head and chuckled.

***

(TOGETHER FOREVER by: Bigbang)
Baby girl you're all
That I'm thinking of
You put this feelin’ inside of me
It says you are the one
Yeah, the only one
I couldn't help myself but put it in words
You are the sunshine in my life, girl
And you know, I'd say it over again
Nothin’ could ever tear us apart
Lemme tell you babe

All of my life I've been searchin’ for that one
And now that you've come to me I don't have to run
Chasin' all the girls while I'm hangin' with my crew
Now it's all about just me and my boo
Every day 'n every night it just goes on
That's how much love I have for you girl I'm so sprung
Baby this was meant to be, it's such a blessin'
Cuz we will be together, forever
…
***

I was about to take some rest to the bar counter when Jiyong pulled me close to him. I was shock and my eyes widen at him. He just smiled at me in return.

I give up.

I relaxed myself and danced closely and comfortably with him. It’s like we’re already hugging. My face is close to his chest and I can feel his fast heartbeat.

‘Maybe he’s already drunk.’ I thought.

***
You are the sunshine in my life girl
And you know, I'd say it over again
Nothin’ could ever tear us apart
Let me tell you babe
…
***

“Remember?” He whispered.

I look up to him and creased my brows.

He whispered again and this time, he tickles me on purpose.

“Hey. Stop it!” I slightly pushed him before I laugh.

“Remember?” He asked again and smiled.

I suddenly felt my cheeks heat up…

“Don’t blush, Yoona.”

“Tss. Yes, I know.”

----------

FLASHBACK

*May 30, 2k--*

Omo! It’s my birthday and I need to prepare something for them.

All day and afternoon I prepared for them. No, I’m just kidding. I contacted a catering service. Haha. I’m actually bad at cooking.

I am alone all day and at 6PM I decided to call the service to make sure if everything’s alright. I called for about 4 times now and they are just ignoring all my calls. I was about to dal again but the lights suddenly turned off.

“Ahhhh! Omo! Omo! Omo!”

I closed my eyes, I fear the dark. Where’s the flashlight when you need one? I calmed myself and decided to go to the kitchen to find some candles when the lights suddenly .

“Surprise!!!”

I turned around and saw all of my friends inside the house and my parents holding a cake. I was very happy that moment that I cried in front of them. I missed my parents so much. I hugged them and cried on their arms.

They set everything over the table that they prepared outside then I remembered something.

“Omo! The catering!” I panicked.

“Yoong, don’t worry, Lay already taken care of it.” Fany said.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Don’t ask questions. It’s already settled.” Lay smiled and gave me a glance on his dimples.

“Just enjoy your night, okay?” Sica said and hugged me.

We danced to the music playing and my parents allowed us to drink alcohol. We’re partying for almost 4 hours now but it’s as if we never know the word ‘tired’.

“Wait guys. It’s time for the birthday wishes.” Sica said.

“I’ll be the first, okay? *ehem* Happy birthday Yoong!” Sica started. “I wish Yoong a very good and peaceful college life with us. Don’t bother what other people say about you because we all know who you really are. You can be sure that whatever happens, we’re all here to support you.” 

She paused and walked towards me.

“College isn’t easy like high school. So if it’s hard, you can always count on us. Ahmm…happiness and peace for you, Yoong. I love you! Cheers!”

“Cheers!”

I don’t know how to react to her message but I really appreciate everything.

“I’m next!” Yuri exclaimed. “Hmm. What should I wish? Maybe good grades. Hahaha. I know you’ll have it even if you don’t exert much effort.” She chuckled.

“Seriously, I hope that distractions, any form of it, will never win against you. I wish you open mindedness to all the problems we’re going to face in the future. Hmm…that’s all. Happy birthday Yoong! Love you!”

She raised her glass and we all raised ours.

“My turn! Hahaha. Yoona-ah!” Fany called. “ Happy birthday! You know that I love you so much, right?”

She asked and I nodded.

“I wish you nothing but health. That’s all. Hmm, actually, I wanted to live a hundred years with you. If I’m going to choose between life without my friends and death with all of you, I’m going to choose the latter. I love us so so much!”

They hugged me so tight I can’t even move.

“I love you all too.” I said.

Awww~ They are so sweet.

“Me now.” Tao shouted excitedly like a child.

“I wish you love, Yoong.” His tone became serious. “I saw how you suffered for your past relationship and the only thing I want you to have now is love. I hope you will find the one of a kind love you deserve sooner.”

He smiled sweetly at me and I can’t help but to smile at him too. I can’t believe Tao can make my heart flutter with just his words.

“Happy birthday and I love you, you know that! Cheers!”

“Cheers!” we all shouted.

“Hey! You’re the one!” Tao pointed at Jiyong. “He’s the one. Yoong, he’s the one.”

“What?” I asked.

“The one!” My mom and dad shouted.

I blushed and Jiyong grinned.

“Mom! Dad!” I whined. I can’t contain the embarrassment I feel anymore.

“Yes, I’m the one.” Jiyong walks towards me and stop right in front of me.

I was shocked when he holds my hands.

“I…”

I can’t utter a word. Why is he saying that he is the one for me? I know he still loves me but…this sudden confession in front of my parents is too much.

I was still busy feeling giddy when he continued to talk.

“I’m the one to give you a birthday wish now.” He said.

What?

What did he just say?

Omo! Did I just think about him confessing to me right in front of my parents? Oh God! This is embarrassing!!!

“Why are you blushing? Hahaha.” When he started to laugh, everyone laughed at me too, including my parents!

Aish!

“Weakling…” He tapped my back. “…I am wishing you a very, very happy birthday. I don’t have anything to say ‘cause you already have it all. And by the way, I accidentally read something earlier…” He fished his phone on his back pocket and scroll down. “…and I think the message suits you…and me.”

He smiled brightly at me and I can’t help but to smile at him too.

“If you are alone in this world, I’ll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I’ll always sit beside you and offer my shoulder for you to lean on. If you’re not happy, I’ll make you smile. If you need me, I’ll always be there. It’s all what I feel for you, literally. I’ll always be available for you, I hope you got it right.” Then he hugged me and whispered.

I can hear the girls’ squeals but clearly heard what he said. 

“I love you and I will wait for you, no matter what.”

I felt my eyes moisten a bit. I hugged him back because I’m thankful that he’s here for me. He’s willing to wait for me despite all that’s happening to us.

“Okay! Enough with the sweetness, guys.” Lay said as he pulled me away from Jiyong’s arms.

They laughed at him and he just smiled.

‘Aish. The dimples again!’ I was distracted again.

“I will now give you my wish and I want you to listen carefully.” He paused. “Yoona, for all the things you have experienced for a short time, I will only wish you strength.” He smiled at me again, or he just showed me his dimples?

“Yah! Stop showing us your dimples! It’s distracting. Can’t you see that I’m crying? Omo! Tissue please?” Sica shouted and my mother handed her the tissue.

I saw how my mom cried when she saw how wasted I am when Jae broke up with me. So I can understand why my dad hugged her that way now. Same way goes to my friends. I know they’re hurting too and I want to make them feel at ease now. I just don’t know how.

“Hahaha. Okay. Stop crying Sica.” Lay said. “Yoona, I wish you strength to face the challenges you will face and strength when you feel sad remembering everything that hurts you. I know that it will be plenty and of course, college life will be difficult for us. So I wish you strength for every day because we may not know what kind and when the hardships will come and how it will affect you, us. I love you Yoona, we love you and whatever happens, we’re just here. Happy birthday Yoona.”

Then he hugged me tightly.

“I love you guys so so much too. I just don’t know how to express it all but thank you, for this surprise, wishes, everything. Thank you. Mom, Dad, I love you so much! Thank you too.”

I ran to my parents and hugged them both.

“We love you too, baby. I guess we just have to wish for their wishes to come true.” My dad said.

My birthday ended well. It was tiring but it’s all worth it.

END OF FLASHBACK

----------

Yes I remember how he said he loves me and he will wait for me no matter what.

“Oh, before I forgot.” He said. He suddenly stopped swaying and signaled the DJ something.

The music stops and the crowd parted leaving us, Mu6 in the middle of the dance floor while Jiyong’s on the stage, holding a guitar.

“Good evening.” Jiyong said on the microphone.

“Oh my gosh! Isn’t he the famous composer of YG artists, G-Dragon?

“Yes, yes, yes! He is sooo hot! Aigoo~”

“He’s going to sing? Omo!”

“I heard he’s a good singer too.”

We all heard what the girls’ commented.

“Did I hear it right? He’s a famous composer?” Yuri asked.

“Yeah, we all did. He is.” Lay answered.

I looked at Yuri and saw the disappointment in her eyes.

“Why didn’t I know? He’s my brother, for God’s sake!” she shouted and the disappointment on her eyes suddenly changed to amusement.

“Maybe some of you already know about me as G-Dragon.” Jiyong paused and some of the crowd nodded. “I am here to sing a song I composed exactly 2 weeks ago. I wrote this with all my feelings that time, and this is for you. Here it is.”

He started to strum the guitar and sings.

‘Is it me he’s talking about?’

***

TOGETHER by: Ne-yo)
Ohhh .... Ohhh ... Yeah Yeah… Ohhh .... Yeahh

Since the day that we met girl
I ain’t ever had anyone make me feel this way
And my heart is sure it wants to be with you
Wanna give you the whole world
If you make the promise to me, you're gonna stay
Without you guiding me, I'm lost and so confused
…
***

Every lyric that come out of his mouth sounds perfect to my ears, or rather to our ears. I noticed that my friends and the crowds are too caught up with the song. 

***
I know he left you stranded
And you paid the price when you messed up your life, oh
Girl I know you're so afraid
But I can't right the wrongs he did
I know you saw the lipstick on my window
And wonder'n how many chicks’ been to my home
I've done my share of playing games
But for you I given up that life

What will it take to show you I'll be by your side?
Girl I got you and I want to give you what you never had
Girl every day I hope to make you a part of my life
‘Cause you know me and I know you
Girl your love is where it's at
…
***

“Yoong…”

I looked at Yuri. She looks like crying.

“Hmm?”

“My oppa loves you so much.” A tear escaped her eyes. I creased my brows.

“Jiyong oppa. He loves you more than anything in this world, Yoong.”

She covered her eyes with her palms so I hugged her. I looked up and I saw Jiyong looking at me.

***
Baby you're the one I've waited for
Because you gave me what I need and more
Girl it’s clear that we are meant to be together,
We should be together....
Eternally
Ohhh...

Girl I'm gonna be

I'm gonna be the love that's gonna last
And be the one that got your back
Ain't nothing ever that bad that we won't be together
And though we both made our mistakes
And some we never wish we made
But we'll be okay if we just stay together
***

“*ehem* Yoona…*sigh*” He suddenly mentioned my name.

“I want to take this moment to say what I really feel in front of everyone.” He stood up from his seat and put his guitar aside.

“I love you, Yoona. I know that you already suffered a lot but I still want to confess my love for you.” He smiled.

“You can reject me if you want, actually…” He stifled a laugh. “…I’m used to it already. But it’s okay, I just don’t want you to ignore me. Still friends, okay? Just like before.”

Just like before? He meant the vacation. After he first confessed to me, he just ignored me like I don’t exist, and he don’t want me to do that to him now. He wanted me to act normal like nothing’s happened. Like the way he acted before and after the bonfire.

‘Ottoke?’

A/N: ATLAST I FOUND MY FLASHDRIVE!!!

SORRY AGAIN FOR THE LATE UPDATE!!