CHAPTER 32 : Ruined

--------

The next day, I noticed that Lay’s been silent the whole morning. He’s awkward to everyone, even to me. Fany asked me what happened but I said I don’t know. True, I really don’t know. Maybe if I continue listening to them last night, I will know what’s happening to him but if I do, I doubt I can have a 4 hours sleep last night. After I heard him said about the devil-angel thingy, I didn’t get a comfortable sleep.

Since we’re all busy, the midterm is more than a week to go, we didn’t talk about it. We will just let him cool down a bit, I know he will, soon. This is the first time I saw Lay like that. He’s always calm and always there to give you advices. He even feels it when we have problems and he’s always there to listen.

‘Is it love?’ I thought. Maybe he’s in love and he can’t confess his feelings to the girl.

Nah~ He’s not the type of guy who gives up easily. And he seldom feels nervous. And when I think about it, he became like that since last night, just last night. Is there a problem between those two?

Anyways, Jiyong and I are okay now. We didn’t talk about the ‘Front seat’ incident that I made a fuss with. He is actually unaware of that situation. I know he treat Sulli as a special friend, I know because he told me.

-‘She’s my friend and I can’t just treat her as nothing because she’s been with me through my downs. She’s fragile and I can’t leave her alone.’-

Fragile?! Who? Sulli?! No way!

I should be hurt on what he have said, -‘…she’s been with me through all my downs…’-, but I understand him. I shouldn’t be jealous, right? Hell! Of course I’ll be jealous!

Hello~ Girlfriend here!

Tss. Isn’t that what every girlfriends should feel when their boyfriends are close to some other girls that they don’t trust?

See? I have reasons! I’m jealous because Sulli holds a very delicate memory with Jiyong, and I’m the cause of his downs.

---

Midterm exams passed and the whole final term is somewhat cool. Lay is back to his usual self after midterms and Jiyong and I continue to be what we should be. Everybody’s fine. Maybe the fact that Sulli is just visiting, not transferring, to our school is an addition to make my worries vanish.

Two more days and our first year of college will be ending. We all finished our reviews for the final exams yesterday because we don’t want to cram the day before. Now, we are here in the living room having a chit chat. They wanted to talk about our plans for the upcoming summer. We agreed to not visit the beach so this time we decided to go on a trip. They wanted to go to Macao, Philippines, Singapore, and Thailand.

“But what if Sulli wanted to go?” Sica asked out of nowhere while eating her yogurt. “I mean, I don’t want her to go but would you allow her to OUR trip?”

“Of course it depends on what will be Yoona’s decision.” Jiyong responded.

“Of course she wouldn’t allow that to happen! Aish! Why are you so dumb, oppa?!” Yuri suddenly blurted out.

I heard Tao and Fany laughed.

“W-“ I want to talk but I guess they wouldn’t let me.

“Yoona is your girlfriend. She doesn’t want to share you to any other girls. Tss.” Fany said with a poker face.

“You can’t even stay away with her…” Lay paused and I saw Jiyong looked at him with wide eyes. “…when she’s with us last summer.”

“If I know, that Sulli just wanted to steal you away from Yoona.” Sica said nonchalantly.

“It’s obvious Jiyong. Can’t you see the way she acts when she’s with us last year?” Tao asked.

“Of course he can’t! Why? Because oppa’s dumb!” Yuri added.

I’m glad Jiyong is a sport when it comes to this topic. We just laughed the whole time when Yuri beats her brother. 

We continued to laugh at everything, even the simplest moves.

“Why are you laughing at me? I just scratch my nape.” Tao pouted.

“You look like a monkey Tao!” Yuri shouted.

“(O_O) Yah! You look…you look…” Tao can’t finish his sentence.

“…beautiful. I look beautiful, right Tao? Hahahaha.” And Yuri continued to laugh.

(O////O) Toa blushed.

Hahaha. These in denial lovers will never change.

It’s already midnight now and we decided to sleep. They already left but I’m still cleaning the table Jiyong just keeps on staring at me.

“It’s getting awkward now, you know. Stop staring at me.” I said without looking at him.

“I wish you’re my wife now.” I can feel that he’s smirking now.

“Tss. You wish!” I joked.

“Ouch.”

I looked at him. Really? Jiyong is pouting again? Hahaha. So cute!

“Ji~ stop pouting!” I said.

“Haha. Come here.” He commands.

I obeyed and sat with him on the floor. He holds my hands and kissed it.

“I didn’t know you’re jealous with Sulli.” He started.

I glared at him. “Of course I will be j-“ 

(0___0)

(*////*) 

I controlled myself on saying the truth and turned my gaze down.

“No!” I continued.

“Hahaha!”

“Why are you laughing?!” I asked angrily but I didn’t look at him again.

“Haha.Why do I feel that you’re mad at me? Maybe you’re jealous when Sulli sat beside me went we went on Namsan Tower. Ihhh~ That’s why you’re not in the mood that night! Hahaha!”

“What’s so funny about being jealous?! I mean, I. Am. Not. Jealous!” I rolled my eyes at him.

“Tss. Then kiss me.”

He pointed his right cheek while grinning.

“You’re such a flirt. Do you know that?” I asked.

“Yes I am a flirt…but only to you.”

“Tss.” I smiled. He never fails to make me smile with his corny lines.

“Kiss…” He looked down and pouted.

“Hahaha.”

I was about to kiss him but he suddenly faced me so I ended up kissing his lips. I felt him smile so I pushed him.

“Hey!” He exclaimed.

“Hahaha. You really love to kiss me, ha? Hahaha.” I probe.

“Yes, of course! Come here.” He said before he claimed my lips again. It was a gentle kiss and I can feel the butterflies inside my stomach wanting to escape out of it like the first time we kissed when we became a couple. Remember? Inside Dami unnie’s boutique?

He unexpectedly stopped and kissed my nose and rests his forehead on mine.

“You don’t know how much I wanted you right now Yoona.”

0////0

Ha?

“*chuckle* Anyways, it’s already passed midnight so…” He holds the both side of my face and gave me a peck on the lips. All the time, we’re just staring at each other.

“…let’s go to sleep…before anything happen.” He smiled at me sweetly.

“O-Okay. I’ll just finish cleaning this.” I said without looking at him.

How can I look at him at this rate? I’m sure my face is flaming red by now. Aish. What is this feeling? My heart is frantically beating fast right now and maybe that’s the reason why I feel hot.

“Hmm.” He just sat up on the couch, I can feel his stare but I didn’t look back at him.

“Yoona…”

*sigh*

Oh my gosh! What to do? What to do? I automatically stopped on my tracks when I heard him call for me.

I slowly faced him and smiled. I don’t want him to see me feeling nervous.

“Why?”

“Nothing.” He smiled. “I’ll just wait for you to finish.”

“O-Okay. If y-you said so.”

I turned around and continued my way to the kitchen.

‘I stuttered!’ I blamed myself after I placed the trash inside the bin.

When I went back to the living room, Jiyong is already lying on the couch.

“Hey.” I poked his shoulder.

“Hmm…” He mumbled with closed eyes.

“Are you planning to sleep here? Go to your room.”

“*chuckled* Yoong~” He opened his left eye. “Sit here.”

I sat on the place he patted.

“Let’s just sleep here.” He continued.

I pointed myself with wide eyes. “Me? We can’t fit in here you know.” I shook my head, but I know we can.

“Please? At least I can sleep here with you.” he pouted. “I can’t sleep inside your room because there’s Fany and you don’t want to sleep inside my room either.”

“Tss. Hahaha. Stop pouting like a kid Jiyong. Okay. We’ll sleep here. Just this once, okay?”

He nodded.

“Move.” I command before lying beside him.

The couch is wide and we can really sleep here tonight.

He made me used his left arm as my pillow and he wrapped his other arm around my waist. We are face to face and I slowly closed my eyes. This feels good, so comfortable. I wrapped my left arm on his waist too.

I was about to totally fall asleep when I felt his lips moving on mine. My eyes automatically shut opened. I blinked twice and when he hugged me tighter, I started to respond to the kiss and closed my eyes. I can feel my heart beating irregularly fast again and even if I feel the need for air, I didn’t let go.

The once gentle and soft kiss suddenly became passionate and hard. We kissed torridly and I don’t know how did I kissed him like that but I did. He pulled away from the kiss and my brows involuntarily creased.

‘Aish.’ I thought. I felt his hands tucking the loose hair behind my ears. 

“Yoong…”

“Hmm?”

He didn’t say a word and I still didn’t open my eyes. Then he suddenly kissed me again and hovered above me.

---

The next thing I know, it happened. When I woke up, he’s lying beside me with his arms wrapped tightly around my waist.

Wait.

How did we end up in his room? 

Aish! How can I be so stupid not remembering that! Just joking. I can remember everything and…Nah! 

Well~ I love this man sleeping beside me so I don’t regret a thing. I smiled and kissed him on his nose before carefully went back to my room before Fany wakes up.

‘Sneaky Yoona.’ My subconscious accused.

---

---
From: Chaerin -_-

Love~
Giving someone the ability to destroy your heart, but trusting them not to.
---

I wonder if this girl is in love. Hahaha. I shook my head as soon as I read it.

Today is our Finals and before the day ended, I was invited by Jiyong to go with him at NB1 together with the soccer players. So instead of hanging out with my friends, Chaerin, Taeyeon, and Hyuna in the same place, I said I’ll be going with my boyfriend.

“So, see you later Yoona!” Hyuna said. “I’ll tag HyunSeung along, okay?”

“It’s okay. As long as I can bring BaekHyun too.” Taeyeon said dreamingly.

“Aish. These girls.” Chaerin reacted. “Well anyway, Yoona, if you’re bored with the boys, you can always come to us. We’re one call away.” She continued.

“Of course. Thanks Chaerin. Bye guys!”

We bid our goodbyes. I’m so excited to spend time with Jiyong and his friends later.

*vibrates*

---
From: <3

Weakling, the boys cancelled the meeting later. Instead, it will be a boy’s night out at our coach’s house. I’m sorry because I can’t bring you there with me. Sorry my love. I promise to make it up to you later when I came home. I love you.
---

“Tss. Too much for being excited.” I whispered.

I decided to text my friends that I’ll be going with them with Fany. I came home with Lay and when I showed him Jiyong’ message, he frowned.

“I’m sorry Yoong if I can’t come with you. I also have some party to attend to.”

“It’s okay Lay. I will tag Fany with me.”

“Okay. That’s better.”

“Stop treating me like a baby, Lay.” I pouted.

“How can I stop treating you like a baby if you’re pouting like that?” He laughed and pinched my cheeks.

“Tss.”

When Fany came home, I immediately invited her and she quickly said yes. She said she’s also invited to their section’s party but she declined.

“Almost all of them are boys so I declined. I just leave Tao there.” She smiled.

“Okay, so let’s get ready?” I said.

“Wait. Hyuna will be there, right? I really want to hang out with your friends actually.” She paused. “So Jiyong will be alone with the boys?”

“Yes.”

“You should wear your iest dress tonight, okay? I’ll wear my iest clothes too. I need to catch some big fish later.”

Then we laughed.

---

After an hour, we are both ready.

“Fany, are you planning to seduce all the guys there?” I exclaimed.

“Tss. I’m y and I know it, Yoong. If I can, then I will.” She giggled. “As is you’re not y enough to seduce guys too.”

She’s wearing a black fitted, long sleeve, short, short dress with lacey sleeves and a fuchsia pink stiletto. As for me, I’m wearing a black fitted, tube dress, just 7 inches above the knee. It has a touch of white as linings and it’s a bit revealing on the sides because it’s open on the both side of my waist. Then I wore a black stiletto.

*beep beep*

“Oh! There they are!” Fany shouted. 

We hopped on Chaerin’s car and she’s with Chansung.

‘Omo! I smell something in here.’ I thought.

I smiled secretly and fished my phone in my purse to text Jiyong but Fany stopped me.

“Yah! What do think you’re doing?” She said.
 
“Texting Jiyong?” I answered.

“Ah no no NO~” Chaerin chirped.

“Do you want him to ruin our bonding?” Fany said. I just looked at her in confusion.

“For sure he’ll follow you there and steal you away from us. Look how y you are right now!” Chaerin added.

“Tss. Hahaha.” We all laughed. 

I refrained on texting Jiyong. Maybe they’re right.

We arrived at NB1 where we met the 2 lovers, Trouble Makers and BaekYeon. We had a few drinks before we danced. Maybe it’s because of the alcohol that the 2 couples are ily dancing in the middle of the dance floor.

We continued dancing to the music when I felt someone hold my waist. I didn’t care. We danced closely but I didn’t face him. When I felt tired, I just left the guy there and went back to the counter to take another shot.

“Hey. Do you know the guy you’re dancing with?” Chaerin asked.

“Nope. Actually I didn’t even look at him.” I honestly said.

“You don’t know? That’s Taec!” Fany exclaimed. “Tss. I thought you knew so I careless.”

“Taec? But why didn’t he talked?” I uttered.

Fany just shrugged her shoulders.

Anyways, we decided to go upstairs but I think I saw someone familiar so before I reached the stairs, I turned to their side for confirmation.

And I am right. Even if there’s a blinding light, I know that they’re Jiyong’s soccer teammates, Kai, Luhan, and Sehun.

“Hey Yoona! Is that her bro?” Sehun called and loudly asked Luhan.

I smiled at them and walked closer. “Hello.”

“Wow! You look hot!” The handsome tanned –skin, Kai, said.

“Yah! Don’t check out Jiyong’s girl! You brat!” Luhan stopped him. “Anyways, why are you here? Is Jiyong with you?” He continued.

I was a bit dumbfounded with his question but I quickly braced myself.

“Oh, yeah…yeah…He’s just…” I looked around. “…around. So…why did you cancel your bonding tonight? Where are the others?” I asked. I need to know what’s happening.

‘Where the hell is Jiyong?!’ I’m beginning to feel nervous.

“They’re upstairs. Actually it wasn’t postponed. Jiyong cancelled with us because he said he will spend the night with you to a different place. So I…we are surprised to see you here.” Kai stated.

“…”

“Yoona, are you okay? Hey!” Luhan shook me a bit.

“Oh. Y-Yeah. I-I’m…I’m okay, don’t worry.” I lied. “So, I need to get upstairs now. Nice to see you here. Say hi to the others for me.” I smiled a fake one.

‘Thanks for enlightening me a bit. Jiyong is lying to me?’ I thought 

“Okay. Bye Yoona!” Sehun said and I immediately turned around and head upstairs.

I entered our VIP lounge and for the whole time, I’m absent-minded.

“Yoona!” Taeyeon called. “I never thought you’re best friend is this lively. Hahaha.”

“Hey Yoona, are you alright?” I heard Chaerin asked. “You’ve been silent all the time since you entered the door.”

“I-I’m alright. Don’t mind me.” I stated.

Who am I kidding here? Fany and Chaerin are here so I’m sure they are already suspecting.

“Yoong?” Fany called.

“Ha?”

She just smiled at me and shook her head. ‘Oh Fany~’

“By the way, where are the Trouble Makers? They’re always missing.” Taeyeon wondered.

“Babe, you know what’s the reason.” Baek said teasingly.

I smiled thinking what’s on his mind. He’s probably drunk. Geez.

“They wanted to be alone. Maybe we should be alone too. What do you think Chae?” Chansung suddenly blurted out.

“Don’t even try to start, honey!” Chaerin responded that made them all laughed. I wanted to laugh too but my lips just formed a smile.

I don’t want to ruin the mood just because I’m sulking here so I still tried to act a casual as I can be. But I doubt it, Fany knew already. I’m sure of that. She’s just keeping it to herself.

After some time, the Trouble Makers came with a bucket of beer. I really need a drink right now to clear my mind or just forget what’s worrying me for just a moment. We had a little talk for almost an hour or two until we decided to go home since it’s also almost midnight.

“I will take Yoona and Fany home. Wait, I’ll just go to the powder room.” Chaerin stated.

I just smiled at her. I’m a bit tipsy now and Fany is assisting me to stand up. I can’t even walk straight.

We head downstairs and wait for her to finish.

“Girls, I’ll leave you with Chaerin now, okay?” Chansung said. “I still have another session with Taec and Nichkhun at his house.”

“Oh, it’s okay oppa. Did you say your goodbyes to Chaerin?” Fany asked him.

He came closer to us and whispered. “Yes…and we kissed.”

“Yah oppa! Hahaha.” Fany and I laughed. “Say hi to Taec and Khun for us, okay?”

“Of course, I will. Goodbye! Take care.”

Then he completely walked away.

“What took her so long?” Fany complained. “Yoong, wait here okay? I felt the need to pee.”

“Okay. I’ll be at the counter.” I nodded.

She left and I walked towards the counter when I saw a familiar figure on the other side of the counter.

I squinted my eyes to have a good look. ‘I can’t be wrong. Its Jiyong’s back. And he’s blonde.’ I thought as I walk near them.

“Jiyong?” I quietly said through the noisy surroundings. When I’m already 2 meters away, I saw Sulli. I was about to continue walking when she hugged him, she’s crying.

‘Wait. Did…Did he just smirked at me?’ I furrowed my brows.

My heart is beating fast and I can’t move.

She stood up and moved the guy’s seat to the side. I know that she’s doing it on purpose to give me a better view. It’s really Jiyong.

I was glued to ground,my eyes are getting wider and wider, palms covering my mouth and tears automatically fall as soon as I saw the next thing they did. They kissed.

“Yoona?!”

“Yoong, where are you?!”

I can hear Chaerin’s and Fany’s voice now. And as if he’s the one being called, he automatically broke the kiss and turned his face on us.

His eyes met mine and I immediately saw how his eyes became wider and wider just like mine. He stepped closer to me but the next thing I knew, Fany slapped him hard on his cheek. I heard Jiyong shouted my name but Chaerin continued to drag me out of the bar.

“Let’s go!” Fany said, furious.

“Yoong, please, stop crying.” I can see Chaerin’s shaky hands trying start her car. “Gosh. I’m going crazy!”

“Chae don’t say that!” Fany shouted.

*sobs*

They stopped. All I can hear now is my own cry. I can’t control it anymore, it flows uncontrollably on my face.

“Shhh.” Fany hugged me.

Chaerin drove fast and Fany requested to turn on the radio.

***

(LOOSING GRIP by: Avril Lavigne)
Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby?
Right now I feel invincible to you
Like I’m not real
Didn’t you feel me locked my arms around you?
Why’d you turn away?
Here’s what I have to say.
…
***

I forced a smiled. Chaerin turned the radio off again.

“Yoona, we’re almost there.” Chaerin is still panicking.

We arrived safely and I just smiled weakly at her while Fany gave her thanks.

“No, no. it’s fine, I’m sorry.” Chaerin apologized. “Please take care of her, Fany. Goodbye.”

Fany hugged her and I saw Chaerin wiped her own tears. Is she crying because of me?

We entered the house and sat on the couch.

“Yoong…please stop.” Fany tried to calm me inside the house but I didn’t listen.

“I trusted him, Fany. He knows that! He promised me…I trusted him-“ My voice suddenly broke and she just hugged me while I cried.

“Shhh.”

She’s crying too. I can feel it.

“I love him, Fany. *sob* I really do.” I continued to cry there. She didn’t stop trying to calm me but I can’t. I feel pathetic. Why do I need to experience these things?

Then after some time, Lay harshly pushed the door open and saw me crying.

“Where is Jiyong?!”

“Lay…please, don’t hurt him…I...I don’t want him to get hu-“

“Don’t hurt him? You think I will just let him go this time?! I’ve had enough Yoong! He will never get away with this!”

Lay’s face is getting redder. He’s drunk and I know he’s mad. This is the first time I saw him mad. I stood up and hugged him.

“Lay…” I can feel his rage through his heart beat.

I was startled when the door suddenly opened revealing Jiyong.

“Yoona, please...let me explain. It’s just a misu-“

I covered my mouth when Lay punched him. Jiyong is now lying on the floor.

“Lay! Jiyong!” Fany shouted.

“I already warned you, right? Haven’t I made myself clear to you?! Ha?!” Lay punched Jiyong again.

I ran to Jiyong and covered him for Lay to stop.

“Lay, *sobs* please. Don’t hurt him.” I pleaded.

“I’m sorry Yoong.” Lay stood up and Fany pulled him upstairs leaving me and Jiyong on the living room. I helped him up and made him sit on the couch.

“Yoona I-“

“Let’s break up.” I bit my lower lip to control my tears from falling.

“Wh-What? Yoona…please. Hear me out first. It’s not what you think. I j-“

“I already made up my mind.” I stared at him intently. We are both crying now. “No one can change it now. Not even you.” I almost choke.

“No! Please!” he kneeled before me and holds my hands.

I tried hard to control my tears but seeing him pleading and crying made it impossible. I broke down again.

I pulled my hands from his hold and I stood up but he hugged me from the back.

“Please. Yoona…please…listen to me first…”

I can’t move. I’m hurting and he’s pleading. His tears are continuously falling on my bare shoulder.

“Don’t leave me, please. I don’t have the intention to go with Sulli. But she’s crying and I can’t just leave her alone for something unimportant…”

Fine. I’ve reached my limit.

I’m beginning to accept his apology when he hugged me but when he started his reasoning, all the love I feel turned to anger.

“Unimportant?” I tried to fake a laugh. I forced him to let go of me and he did. “Can’t leave her for something unimportant?!”

This is the first time I shouted at him with all this anger inside me. I know I will made a huge mistake when I let my anger control me but I don’t give a damn now.

“So I’m not important to you,, is that it?”

“No, no. You don’t underst-“

*slap*

“I’m not dumb Jiyong!” I shouted. “I clearly understand the things you’ve said…” I continued to cry.

“No…please, let me-“

*slap*

He’s trying to hold me so I slapped him again.

“You said I should trust you. You lied.” My vision is blurry but can still see his tears flowing down his face. “I saw you kissing her and that’s enough for me to break up with you. But hearing on your very mouth that I’m something unimportant kills me more!”

He hugged me. My energy is drained already, I can’t push him away.

“You said you will never hurt me again. I honestly believed in you. I’m so stupid!”

“Yoona, please. Ju-“

“You promised me…you promised me Jiyong, remember? Are all those sweet promises are fake? Do I even have worth for you? Do you even love me?!”

I punched his chest until I fall down on the ground. I covered my face with my palms and I cried my heart out. I am physically and emotionally weak and tired. I don’t know if I can stand anymore.

“I’m so sorry, Yoona. Please forgive me.”

“*sobs*”

He hugged me tight. “I love you. I love you so much. It’s just a big misunderstanding. You sh…”

He continues on telling me his reasons but I can’t hear anything. I don’t understand a thing and I don’t want t understand a thing he’s saying.

I should push him away. Believe me I really wanted to, but I don’t have the energy to even utter a word.

It’s time for me to think about myself first.

I thought it will be okay but it doesn’t show.
Should I just give up? I really don’t know.
I thought this will work out, but with these things? Hell no!
Guess I’m the only one in love. So I’ll let go.

Nothing, no one can change my mind now.

‘You need to be strong, Yoona.’ My subconscious cheered.

Fine.

A/N: IM BACK ATLAST!!! HEHE.. ^_^ sorry 'bout that... 

late update.. ^_^v

but still , hope you enjoy ^_^