CHAPTER 39 : Retake

----------

(No One’s POV)

Yoona managed to keep up with the lessons in her class. Since she took the same course in New York, the units she took there were credited and now, she’s still block mates with Hyuna, Taeyeon, and Chaerin.

She’s a bit late because she just came back after a month the school year starts but her friends, including Fany and Tao, helped her with the lessons before the prelims.

Her friends, Hyuna, Taeyeon, and Chaerin didn’t exactly know what happened to her after the final exams a year ago. They just heard a little bit of the story from Fany when Yoona asked her to say hi to them. They didn’t even know that Jiyong and Yoona are over.

“So how is it going with Mr. Blonde? Well, his hair is red orange now.” Hyuna asked.

Yoona was just eating her lunch and didn’t talk. Besides, she doesn’t want her friends to know what happened between the two of them. And most of all, she’s pretending to know nothing.

“Yeah. Tell us. We never seen each other like, more than a year you know.” Taeyeon said.

“I’m so sorry guys for leaving without even saying goodbye but…I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Yoona finally said.

“Aish! We mean, you’re boyfriend? The Mr. Blonde Jiyong? Kwon Jiyong?” Chaerin explained in frustration.

“Guys, he’s not my boyfriend-“

“You mean you broke up?” Hyuna cut her off.

“What? No. How can we do that? We’re not even a couple, okay? We’re just friends. Don’t make an issue, please. *chuckle* Where did that came from?” Yoona shook her head.

“What are you saying Yoona? Jiyong is your boyfriend. Don’t you remember?” Hyuna asked.

“*sigh* Hyuna, please. We’ve never been an item. I bet he’ll laugh at you if he hears this.” Yoona shook her head while laughing. “We are friends. No more, no less.”

The 3 girls all creased their brows and think for a second before they continue to interrogate Yoona. But the latter keeps on denying it so after half an hour of questioning, they gave up.

‘Is this some kind of a joke? She doesn’t know that Jiyong is her boyfriend?’ Taeyeon thought.

‘Maybe we should really asked Jiyong about this. God! Did we just have an illusion that they are a couple? Impossible!’ Hyuna shook her head on her thoughts.

‘Is this some kind of amnesia or something? Dissociation? Gosh! You’re making my head hurt, Yoona.’ Chaerin continues to crease her brows while staring at Yoona.

---

Days have passed and Yoona’s still not her true self. She’s been pretending to act like nothing’s wrong, or rather, to act like she doesn’t know anything that happened, for days already. It’s like she doesn’t even know how hurt she was after she and Jiyong broke up.

She acts casually around everybody especially Jiyong. She forms a smile every time she’s with them, but deep inside, it’s hard for her too. She can feel how Jiyong loves her up until now and that made everything worst for her. Little by little, her anger lessens. When she have time alone in her and Fany’s room, she cry silently; she doesn’t want the people around her to know that she’s still hurt after over a year that’s why she’s putting up her show. And she’s already feeling guilty about it.

Jiyong never open the past when he’s talking with Yoona. He suspects that something is off but he decided to ignore it and just take this opportunity to be close with Yoona again. He hates the feeling when Yoona is smiling at him like nothing ever happened between them and his guilt eats him whole. The others are also curious and confuse about Yoona’s attitudes but they remained silent about it. If Yoona wants to continue acting, if ever she is, then they will respect it. That’s what everybody thinks but Jiyong. He believes Yoona’s ‘dissociation’ act even if he have doubts. It’s because that act makes everything easy for him to approach her, he can talk, laugh, and be close to Yoona again so he careless, he just took advantage of the situation. He said he will just prove to her that he’s really serious about taking her back.

But this past few days, Yoona’s been talking with Jae every night and Jiyong can’t contain his jealousy. He wanted to talk to her about it but it will just make the whole situation awkward. Though he always crumpled to the ground whenever she talk nonstop about Jae, he closes his eyes and remembers his promise, whatever it takes.

Lay, on the other hand, never believe any of Yoona’s acts. He is pretending to be swayed by Yoona’s lies but deep inside him, anger is arising. ‘She’s making everything worst.’ Lay always thought.

Jiyong never said sorry. And though Yoona wants it for the world, she’s thankful that he didn’t because if he did, she will never know how to react to that. Maybe she will be caught too if that happens.

---

Yoona continues to play her games with them. She doesn’t intent to hurt people in her game, though she knows someone is hurting in the process.

‘Should I just give up?’

She asked herself as she looked at the sky from the balcony.

‘Maybe this pretention is getting overboard already. This is not a very good idea after all.’

She shook her head and heaves another sigh.

‘No! I should finish what I already started. I’ll continue this, at least we can all be casual…*sigh* I’m sure if I tell them they will never understand, will they?’

“As I’ve noticed…”

Yoona got startled with the voice behind her so she turned around to see Lay.

“Omo! Lay, you gave me a fright!”

“I gave you a fright?” Lay repeated. “Hahaha. Anyway, as I’ve noticed, you’ve been sighing more than you usually does. Care to share your problem with me?”

She just looked at him, can’t utter a word. When Lay is trying to know her feelings, he usually smiles, unlike right now. She can’t interpret Lay’s expression; he’s not smiling, not even showing that he’s curious about something.

“Lay, don’t worry about me…” Yoona looked away. ‘But I know I can’t hide anything to this guy. I’m sure he knew all along.’ She thought.

“Hmm…okay. If you say so.” He walked towards her and leans on the wall with crossed arms.

“Stop this game, Yoona.”

The way he said her name sends shiver down her spine and made her feel guilty even more.

“…”

“*sigh* I know what you’re doing and that wouldn’t do any good to anyone. Be it to you or him.”

“I’m sorry.” She said in a voice barely audible. Her eyes in tears.

“You don’t need to apologize to me; you don’t owe me any of it. Save it for someone.” He chuckled. “If you don’t want any bad things to happen, stop this. You’re not helping. Sooner or later he’ll know the truth. He loves you Yoong, he really does and…I know you do too. I hope you watched his viral video.”

Yoona nods while wiping her tears with her palms.

“See? What is your purpose anyway? ‘Cause if you want him to suffer, then you failed. The one hurting now is not only him, you’re hurting yourself too. You pretend to be happy but you know to yourself you’re not even close to that. *sigh* This is frustrating.” Lay run his fingers through his hair.

“Lay…”

“I don’t think you’re doing this to make him realize his mistakes. You’re doing this to be casual around him because you miss him.”

With that, Yoona looked up at him.

“Am I right? You still love him.” Lay finally smiled.

“I don’t have anything to hide from you.” Yoona smiled back.

“Now, don’t cry.” Lay wiped her tears with his thumbs. “He’ll do everything for you to accept him again, that’s his promise to us. So whatever you do or say, he’ll make you fall in love with him all over again. I suggest you tell him the truth and make yourself fall for him again.”

Yoona smiled and hugged him.

“Aish!” He hugged her back.

“It’s hard for me too, Lay. Whenever I think about our baby, I want to get mad at him but I just can’t. I can’t forget what he did to me but all I can do is to forgive him.” Yoona cried at his chest.

“You love him true. Try to destroy your walls and let him in, then you’ll know everything’s worth it.”

“Are you sure?” She asked and Lay nodded. “But I’m afraid it will happen again.”

“Let go Yoong, let go.”

---

Jiyong starts to court Yoona again. He didn’t asked her about it, he just did things that he thinks will make Yoona remember him as her ex-boyfriend. He still believes she’s having a dissociative disorder.

“But what if she remembers what you did?” Fany asked him.

“I don’t know. But I wouldn’t let go of this chance. There’s a big possibility for me to fail but I got to do this.” Jiyong answered.

“We’ll support you with this oppa.” Yuri said.

“Thanks girls.”

“Anyways Ji, I think you should act normal when she’s around. You know, you always stuttered when you’re talking to her. Hahaha.” Fany laughed.

“Hehe…” He awkwardly rubbed the back of his head. “I…I just can’t help it.”

“Hey guys. What are you all doing here?”

Yoona suddenly entered the living room and Fany automatically looked at Jiyong’s expression. She chuckled seeing him blush at the sight of her best friend.

“Now is your chance.” Fany whispered to Jiyong.

“*ehem*” He faked a cough and stood up. “N-Nothing…” He glared at Sica who’s trying to control her laugh. “…nothing weakling. We’re just wondering if you want us to throw a welcome party for you.”

‘This is awkward. Why isn’t she smiling?’ Jiyong panicked.

“Oh…” Yoona finally smiled at him. “I don’ mind actually, but a party sounds good. NB 1?”

“But Yoong…NB 1 isn’t a good place! That’s where you s-hmmmp” Sica almost spill but Tao covered .

“Ahh…hehe” Tao reacted.

Jiyong creased his brows when he noticed her gloomy expression. ‘Why is she suddenly like this? Does she already remember?’

‘Omo! Talk Yoong! You can’t be caught right now. Talk!’ Yoona thought as she remembers the sad memories she had.

“Ahmm…We’ll, I j-just thought that y-you also want to party at N-NB 1 so…” Yoona stuttered.

“Don’t worry about us Yoong. If you want, we can make a reservation at NB 1.” Yuri offered and pulled Sica and Tao with her upstairs.

“And when’s the party?” Lay asked her in a serious tone. ‘This is not what we talked about Yoong.’ He gave her a you-know-what-I’m-talking-about look.

“An-Anytime will do. Excuse me.” Yoona bowed and walk towards the stairs but Jiyong caught her wrist. “Why, J-Jiyong?”

Jiyong looked at her for a few seconds before saying, “Have you eaten weakling?”

“No, I haven’t.” She answered.

“Then let’s eat. I haven’t eaten yet too. Lay, Fany. Join us.” Jiyong said.

‘Lay, please come with me.’ Yoona hoped.

“Nah. We already eat, right Fany?” He wriggled his brows at Fany.

“Rrrright! I think we should go.” Fany then pulled Lay out of the living room.

“C’mon?” Jiyong tug her, still holding her wrist.

Yoona smiled and let him pull her. ‘Act cool Yoona.’ She thought.

Jiyong prepared everything for their dinner. Yoona just stare at his back and watching his every move.

“I hope you like this.” Jiyong said.

“You don’t have to tire yourself to prepare something like this; we could’ve just ordered pizza.”

“It’s okay. I wanted to do this for you. You know, I miss serving you.” Jiyong smiled at her.

“Ahmm…”

‘What did you just say Jiyong? You’re making the atmosphere awkward.’ Jiyong thought.

“…well, then thank you for the food Ji. This looks good.” Yoona smiled back.

‘That’s right Yoona. Act like nothing’s bothering you.’ She thought.

Jiyong stared at her for a moment until Yoona noticed.

“Hey Ji, come and eat with me.”

“Oh…” Jiyong sat across her and started to eat his meal.

After some time, they started to talk casually, less awkwardness.

“So Ji, how’s your love life?” Yoona suddenly asked. ‘Do you really have to ask him that? You’re so stupid Yoona!’ She wanted to slap herself.

“Ha?”

“I mean, did Jiyong-Sulli love team finally worked out?” ‘Sulli…disgusting!’

“No.” Jiyong answered in an alarmed tone. Then he starts to defend himself unconsciously. “I don’t love her, believe me Yoona. It’s just that…I know you’ll get jealous if I told you right away but I guess my move isn’t very helpful that’s why we’re in this situation now. But believe me when I say that you’re the most important person in my life. I thought…I thought it’s not necessary to tell you about her because there’s really nothing going on between us! She’s just a friend…I’m so sorry Yoona.”

Jiyong continuously said and Yoona got shock for his sudden outburst. She wanted a real apology but this time, she’s satisfied that she already heard his side, at least.

‘Oh my gosh…’ She covered when she saw tears falling from his eyes.

“J-Jiyong…I…I didn’t understand a thing, you’re too fast. Why are you crying?” She lied.

Jiyong finally realized that he’s been crying so he turned his back at her and wiped his tears.

“I-I’m sorry…” He faced her again with his brows creased. “Don’t mind me Yoona. Ahmm…are you done eating too? Just leave it there; I’m going to wash the dishes.”

“O-Okay…Are...” She stood up and blinked a few times. “…are you sure…you’re alright?”

With that, Jiyong feels more heaviness in his chest. ‘The look on your face, it’s…it’s telling me something.’ He thought.

He just nods, not even smiling so Yoona find her way out of the kitchen.

*sigh*

“I miss you so much Yoona.” He said as he picks up her dish. “And I’m so sorry.”

He didn’t know that Yoona stayed there and heard what he said. She covered and cried, the same time Jiyong slumped himself on the seat and cried.

‘I’m so so sorry Jiyong…’

With that view, she quietly run to her room and cried her heart out inside the bathroom.

---

Days have passed after their dinner and Jiyong still continues to court her. He always tries to make quality time with Yoona so he syncs his schedules to hers, again. But this time, no Sulli to interfere them. He’s having his lunch in the College of Liberal Arts just to eat with her.

Though he felt like giving up for the ‘just-friends’ treatment that Yoona is giving him, he can never break his promise to himself and to his friends that he’ll win her no matter what, whatever it takes. That’s the only thing he prays for right now.

Every day, he never stops trying. He never showed that he’s tired, though he really is. He always thought, ‘Just a glimpse of her smile because of me gives me ecstasy.’ With just one smile on her face, every effort pays off.

He actually had a talked with Hyuna, Taeyeon, and Chaerin about Yoona. At first, he hesitates to tell them what happened but still ends up giving them all the details and asked them not to tell anything to Yoona. He knew he’s the one at fault and it’s hard for anyone to forgive a guy like him that’s why he’s thankful that these 3 girls are Yoona’s friends. They understand him and accept him wholeheartedly again for Yoona.

‘I knew she’s just pretending. I know what selective amnesia is.’ Chaerin thought and the 2 others begin to doubt Yoona too.

Another week has passed and Yoona can’t hide all things inside her. She talked with her friends and told them what’s really happening, her little ‘play’. Chaerin had a smug expression on her face.

‘I knew it.’ She mentally clapped her hands.

Hyuna and Taeyeon just stare at her with wide eyes and after a few seconds they both start to throw light punches at her for fooling them.

Same goes to Yuri, Sica, Tao and Fany. They have doubts but they never really expect her to do it. While Lay just listens to Yoona with crossed arms and a smirk as she explains herself to her friends.

Little by little, she’s becoming soft to Jiyong again; she can laugh with him comfortably and be alone with him without awkwardness unlike before. It’s not what she wanted in the first place but she can’t help but show what she really feels for him, this time, no anger, just pure love, and longing, and pain. She can’t help but to fall for him all over again in the process of her pretention. 

She talked to her parents about it but they just laughed at her.

“Mom! Dad! Don’t laugh at me, please.” She blushed.

-Hahaha. I already told you about this baby.- Her dad said.

-He’s your destiny baby, you can never fight it.- Her mom added.

“B-“

-Baby we need to go. We love you baby, don’t ever forget that, okay? We’ll call you later.-

---

Jiyong’s unofficial courtship continues up to finals. 1st semester’s already ended and they are planning to party the same night.

“I’m excited to P-A-R-T-Y!” Sica danced.

“Tss. It’s just because TOP will be coming too. Don’t deny it.” Fany probes. “You’re dead in love with him!”

“What?! M-Me? Hahaha.” Sica laughed hard. “Na-ah! He is. He’s head over heels with Jessica Jung! Wahhh~ I’m so gorgeous- Ouchieeee~” She whines after Tao threw a cushion at her.

“Just admit it. Tss.” Tao said.

Sica just pouted and they all laughed at her.

“Where will be the party anyway?” Yoona asked.

“Hmm…Maybe-“

“Wait!” Jiyong shouted from his room and come down stairs to the living room. “Yoona and I have plans. Exclude us for tonight’s party.”

Then he runs back to his room after winking at Yoona.

“Plan?” Fany and Lay asked Yoona with her eyes still wide and still open.

“W-What?” Yoona asked in confusion. “No! I don’t have plans with him. Please, don’t leave me with him!” Yoona pleaded.

She looked at Fany, “Fany?~” then to Lay, “Lay?~” and to everyone, “Everyone?~ Guys!”

Without any reply, they all run away from her and laughed their asses off.

“Aish!!!” Yoona shouted and her nose flared.

---

“We’re going Busan, but before that, let’s have dinner to that.” Jiyong said and pointed at a tower.

“Namsan Tower.” Yoona silently said.

“Yes, Namsan Tower.” Jiyong smiled and continue to drive.

“Hmm, is it safe for us to go to Busan at this hour? It’s already late Jiyong.”

“It’s safe…and I know that it’s late. Don’t worry about this night.” He smiled at her again. “Hey Yoona, does your leg cramps still attacks you?”

Yoona was surprised about his question. ‘He still knows that I’m prone of having leg cramps.’

“Yeah. Actually, my arms and hands sometimes get spasms too. And last year, I think, every month I’m experiencing it.” She detailed.

“Really? Well, maybe you should take some medications for it already.”

“No, I don’t want any of it. It’s normal for a stress person to have something like that, I guess.”

“You’re stressed?”

‘Yes! Because of you!’ Yoona smiled at her thought.

“Yoona?” Jiyong called.

“Yes? Ah! Yes, you know, studies abroad. I don’t like the feeling.” She lied.

Jiyong nods as he listens to her.

They arrived at their destination and just like their first dinner at Namsan Tower before, everything are prepared. Same seat, same music, and Jiyong even ordered the same foods from before. But not like the first dinner, they are awkwardly eating their meals now.

“Why are we so quiet?” Jiyong asked nervously and took a sip on his wine.

“N-Nothing…I don’t have anything to say actually.” Yoona replied without even looking at him.

“*sigh* Okay.” He said with a sad, disappointed tone.

‘I should be patient now. I hope everything’s going to be alright after this night.’ Jiyong thought.

Yoona secretly looks at Jiyong as he quietly eats his foods. ‘I’m sorry Jiyong…Should I tell you the truth now? Or will it just ruin the moment?’ Yoona contemplates as she finishes her meal.

The dinner went on and after, Jiyong smiled at her brightly.

“Yoona…” He called that made her looked at him. “I’m going to make you remember me…*sigh* as your good ex-boyfriend, not the other way around…”

Jiyong paused and waits for her reaction but it just made him confused. ‘Why isn’t she saying anything?’ Despite of his confusion, he continued to talk about everything fun that they did before, the happy moments. He also told her how they started and even the reason why they ended up like this. He finally shared his side to her.

Yoona listens to him with a fake smile and as he gets closer to the reason why they broke up, she can’t help but to just pour the tears that wanted to escape her eyes from the beginning. She lets her tears wet her face.

“…and I’ll do whatever it takes-“

“But Ji-“

“I’ll do whatever it takes just to make you my girlfriend again. I never…not a single day, forgets the way I feel about you Yoona. I love you.”

He finished his sentence and he didn’t let Yoona distract him.

“…”

Yoona cried hard, her hands and lips are shaking as she tries to control the tears from falling, but to no avail.

‘This is too much. If I don’t tell him now, I will never have the perfect chance to tell him the truth. Just like what daddy said, ‘listen, believe, trust and forgive’.’ She thought.

“Yoona-“

“I know.” She shut her eyes. “Jiyong…I...I know…” She opens her eyes and saw Jiyong’s creased brows.

“…” It’s his time to be quiet now.

“I r-remember…everything. No forgotten memories. The love, hurt, pain…I remember it all. And to tell you honestly, I am still feeling it, up to now. Jiyong…” She continues to cry while Jiyong stare at her.

‘I…I doubted you. But I never thought that you’re really pretending…’ He thought.

“I’m sorry…” Yoona said.

“…”

As Jiyong tries his best to form a sentence, Yoona already run out.

A/N : sorry for the short chapter ^_^ v hehe

enjoy ^_^