CHAPTER 43 : Conclusion

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(No One’s POV)

Yoona took almost a day before waking up. By that time, her parents already arrived and saw her condition. They had a talk with the doctor who operated their daughter and he told them that Yoona needs to undergo different tests before she can be discharged.

But since she woke up, she begins to feel weak, weaker and weaker as days passes by. 

“Mom…tell the doctor tomorrow that I have difficulty moving my arms and legs. It’s been like this since I woke up.”

She said as she struggles to sit on her bed.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’m going to tell the doctor tomorrow.” Her father answered. “Maybe you shouldn’t force yourself to move.” He assists her.

Her mother sat beside her, tucking the loose strands of her hair behind her ear.

“You will rest and sleep after eating this meal, okay baby?” She said.

Yoona nods and eats her food before sleeping, exactly like what her mom told her to do.

Even if they don’t show Yoona how worried they were, they can’t hide anything to themselves. Yoona’s been hospitalized many times since she and Jiyong broke up. She even suffered from mild depression that made them decide to leave the country.

But they can’t stay mad, especially at Jiyong. They sure felt anger and pity but that was because of their supposed to be grandchild but besides it, there’s nothing.

All they can think of now is for Yoona to recover, no matter what it takes.

---

It’s now the final examination week and Yoona’s still confined in the hospital, exactly 4 days already. Mr. and Mrs. Im told her friends to just concentrate on their exams first and they can just visit their friend after.

But that didn’t stop Jiyong on visiting their daughter. Whenever they see him coming, they both feel the bliss. They can’t really stay mad at him, he’s the one that they can entrust Yoona. They can see how worried he is for her but just like them, he hides it from her; they see how he loves Yoona by the way he looks at her and the way he takes care of her. With that, they know that even after all the trials they have faced, Jiyong never gave her up. And that’s the kind of man they want her daughter to marry.

Yoona told him about the weirdness she feels in her extremities and Jiyong massages Yoona’s arms and legs every night before he go home.

“How can I ever repay you Jiyong?”

“Wha- Well, you…okay. *sigh* Just stay healthy and get out of here. I don’t expect much you know, but when we get married af-“

“Married?” Yoona cut him off. “You really don’t expect much Jiyong. Hahaha.”

“Hahaha. I’m just kidding, Yoona. I can wait.”

And as if she’s hearing the most beautiful words, she smiled sweetly and at the same time, cried.

“You’re always like that, Yoona. So emotional.” Jiyong smiled at her and wiped her tears away. “Hahaha. Stop crying.”

“Yah!” Yoona reacted. “I’m a girl and girls are emotional. We can’t control emotions well. Tss.” She rolled her eyes and Jiyong laughed.

‘I like this.’ He thought.

They never really had a confirmation that they’re officially a couple now but they both know that they love each other so much so they never really cared.

For now, it’s enough for him. He knows someday, he’ll hear what he wants to hear from her. He will wait.

---

“According to all the test results we’ve conducted to your daughter…” The doctor paused and sighed. “…her condition is called Multiple Sclerosis.”

The doctor is now explaining to Yoona’s parents about her condition.

“Wh-…What is…”

“Mrs. Im…” The doctor called. “…her condition is characterized by periods of exacerbation followed by periods of remissions. It means that your daughter is now on her exacerbation. Do you remember anything like this happen to her years ago?”

“I…I don’t remember…” Mrs. Im stuttered but eventually thinks.

For a few minutes, they both think of Yoona’s past until Mr. Im talks.

“I do.” He said. “I-I remember, honey it’s when you were in US having your TAHBSO (operation where the uterus, both fallopian tubes and ovaries are removed due to a disease). I didn’t tell you about it because I know it can affect your recovery.” He stated. “Doctor, she also experience numbness on her extremities that time…I think…it was when she was 6 or 7 years old? It was before we moved here in Korea.”

“…”

“The doctor gave her immunomodulators for I think 7 weeks. He said that Yoona’s condition, from what he thinks it is, had a relapse that time but remission is 80% possible. The doctor conducts many tests too but because we moved here a bit unexpected, we never really had the chance to ask him about the final diagnosis. Then when we came back to New York after a few years of staying here, we learned that he already died. I thought…I thought she will never experience exacerbations again now that she’s almost 14 years in remission but I…”

“Mr. Im, Mrs. Im, I am so sorry to tell you that Multiple Sclerosis is a very difficult disease. Up until now it has no cure. We can give her all the treatments she needs but it will just make the progression slow, not totally curing her. But for now, doctors with specialty on the disease were working for the case of your daughter. We will do whatever we can to slow its progression but I can’t promise you cure. I hope you understand that some circumstances may happen…all you need to do is to be there for her.”

“O-Okay.” Mr. Im answered. His wife just nods but continues to cry silently.

“We still need to prepare her for more tests that will tell us exactly what medications and treatments she needs.”

“Do we…Do we need to tell her now?” Mrs. Im asked and cried again.

“It’s our duty to tell our patients their conditions but if you want to tell her about it later, then it’s fine. You can just call me if she wants to be more aware of her disease condition.”

“Oh my God…” Mrs. Im covered to suppress her sobs but she can’t.

“Shhh.” Mr. Im hugged her wife. “T-Thank you doctor. We w-will just call you.”

Mrs. Im didn’t stop crying on her husband’s chest inside the hospital’s chapel, both are praying for strength and Yoona’s recuperation.

---

The final exam week is finally over and they are all excited to visit Yoona in the hospital. But even before they decide to visit her, Lay received a message from Yoona’s father to meet them first in the chapel before visiting Yoona. Fany and Tao tagged Chaerin, Hyuna and Taeyeon along with them.

The couple told them about their daughter’s condition. They stated what the doctor told them.

“But…how can this be happening aunty, uncle?” Tao asked while the girls are beginning to cry now.

“Maybe there are some misreading on the laboratory results, misdiagnosis.” Lay tried all his might to think of a way that can make the whole story a wrong one.

“I wish that happened too, son.” Mr. Im said. “But the doctors who confirmed it to us the other day are the ones with specialization on the disease. It was so hurtful hearing them said it but we need to be strong to face what may happen in the future.”

“My G-“ Fany broke down into tears and was hugged by Mrs. Im whose also crying with all the girls.

They stopped asking questions for they do not know what and how to react with that. But still, they visited Yoona after calming themselves. The sadness on their faces was change to smiles when they saw Yoona and Jiyong laughing together, holding hands.

‘They still didn’t know.’ They all thought.

Hyuna and Yuri turned their back from them and wiped their tears away while Chaerin, Fany, Taeyeon and the boys tried so hard not to tear up in front of Yoona and Jiyong.

*sobs*

With Sica’s sobs, Yoona and Jiyong felt their presence and looked at them.

“Why are you crying Sica?” Yoona asked. “And what happened to all of your eyes? Did something happen?”

“…”

“Yul? Did you cry too?” Jiyong asked her sister but Yuri just looked away. “Yah Tao! Is it because of you?” He suddenly shouted.

“M-Me? Wh- *sigh* It’s nothing Ji.” Tao lied.

“Well ah…” Lay started. “Tears of joy. Yeah?”

He then nudged Tao to back him up.

“Yeah. Ahmm…You know, after almost 2 weeks of not seeing you, we can now visit you freely, whenever we want, right?” Tao wrapped his arms around Yuri’s shoulder. “Right Yul?”

She took time before finally realizing the situation they want to put up.

“Yeah…” Yuri tried to smile. “Right! We’re just happy to see you Yoong!”

“Sica! Stop crying, you’re over reacting.” Fany said and laughed awkwardly.

“*sobs* Yoong!” Sica run and hugged Yoona tight.

Even though Yoona’s confused, she still hugged her back.

“Hahaha.” Jiyong laughed. “Since all of you are here, let’s eat.”

“Thanks for bringing that up. I’m hungry actually.” Sica said.

“You are having too much fat on your bust and belly now.” Fany stated.

“Well you’re having too much fat on your bust, belly and too!” Sica retorted.

“Now easy, easy tigers.” Tao said laughing. “Let’s just eat.”

“Even!” Sica sticks her tongue out at Fany who’s pouting her lips.

Yoona smiled at her friends’ childishness.

The boys went out to buy foods for all of them leaving the girls with Yoona.

“Hyuna?” Yoona called.

Hyuna was startled and just blinked her eyes at her twice. She’s afraid that she’ll break down in tears when she asked her why she cried. Then suddenly Chaerin hold her hands on her lap while giving her a nod.

“Are you okay?” Yoona asked.

“A-Ahmm…*sigh* Y-Yes, I’m fine.” Hyuna answered.

“Why do I feel like you’re hiding something from me?” Yoona mocked.

“Yoona…” Chaerin spoke. “…she’s…” She looked at Hyuna. “…she saw Hyunseung with some other girl and they had a little argument so…yeah.”

“Don’t worry about them, Yoona.” Taeyeon said. “You know they will surely get back together soon.”

“Is it true Hyuna?”

“Yes Yoona.” Hyuna said and smiled widely at her like she usually does. “You know me, it’ll pass. He’s head over heels with me, remember? Hahaha.”

“Hahaha.”

The others laughed with her though they knew the truth behind her tears. The girls we’re proud of her because they know she can’t handle her emotions well, but she did now.

“You should complete all the treatments they will give you, okay Yoong?” Fany said out of nowhere.

“Okay.” Yoona smiled.

“Yeah. It may be tiring but it’s for your own good.” Sica added.

“Oh-kay?” Yoona said in confusion. “What are you guys’ saying, really? I just got a little scar on my back. There’s no need for a long term treatment.”

“We mean…*sigh* Just don’t ever refuse any treatments, okay? We’ll just be right here.” Yuri said.

Yoona looked at her and smiled.

“Promise us that you’ll adhere to everything the doctor will say.” Chaerin said.

“Gosh, guys. You’re creeping me out. I know it’s sweet but it gives me goosebumps.” Yoona said while rubbing her arms.

“Just promise us.” Taeyeon, Hyuna and Fany demand in chorus.

“Fine!” Yoona said as she smiles and shakes her head at them.

“Why are you shouting at each other?” Jiyong suddenly appeared inside the room followed by Tao and Lay.

“Nothing.” Fany said.

“We’re just making her promise us something, oppa.” Yuri stated.

“And what is that?” He asked again.

“You don’t need to know Ji. Girls thing.” Sica uttered and Yoona giggled.

The dinner went out fine, like the normal dinner they usually have before. They had a few talks about the final examinations and the lessons that Yoona missed at school. They tried their best to hide the sadness and the pity that they feel for her and for Jiyong.

After almost 3 hours, Yoona’s parents came so they bid their goodbyes to the family and left.

---

Lay called Jae and told him Yoona’s condition. At first, he didn’t respond, then after a few more seconds, he said, “Are you kidding me?”

“No Jae. I wish I am, but I’m not.” Lay answered.

“Does Jiyong know about it?” Jae asked.

“He doesn’t know anything. Yoona didn’t know about it too.” Lay paused. “I’m sure she wouldn’t want us to know about her condition, especially Jiyong.”

They talked for a few minutes about it and decided to wait for Yoona to tell them before they tell her that they know something. They both know that it’s hard for all of them to lie to her, most especially hide the pain they’re feeling in front of her. They also decided not to tell Jiyong anything.

---

‘Why do I feel like something’s off?’ Jiyong thought while lying on his bed.

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(Yoona’s POV)

‘Why is mom crying?’

I peaked behind my blanket when I woke up. My brows creases seeing that it’s just 6 in the morning.

“Yoona…baby…” My dad called and hugged me so I hugged him back.

“Why do all people looked sad?” I asked him as soon as he released me. “Yesterday, my friends are crying when they entered my room then suddenly they acted normal, and now…mom. Dad, what’s happening?”

“Yoona.” My mom called and walked towards my bed and looked at my father. “We have to say it to her, honey.”

“What is it? Is there something wrong?” I asked, confused.

“Baby, do you remember the time when you got hospitalized at young age?” My daddy asked.

I nodded hesitantly as I try to remember the time.

“I know it’s funny to ask this but, do you remember your complaints?”

“Hmm…I always feel numb. I can’t walk properly and I can’t hold my doll. Numbness, like what I fe-“

Then I stopped. Now I realized all the things that are happening. I don’t want to believe my mind ‘cause I’m thinking about the worst. I know that what I feel before are symptoms of an incurable disease, based on what I’ve learned but…am I really sick?

“Yes…” My dad said as if he reads my mind.

“Mom…Dad…I can’t…I ca-“ My voice cracked and the tears flow down my face instantly. The next thing I know, my parents are crying in front of me too.

All I can think of right now is my parents and my friends. All the persons I love.

Does Jiyong know? How will he react to this?

“M-My friends…did they…did they know anything about this?” I asked, sobbing.

“We told them yesterday baby.” My mom replied.

So that’s why my friends cried.

“Jiyong?” I asked again hoping they will say ‘No’.

“No.” They answered.

Thank God. I heaved a loud sigh, relieved that he didn’t know anything.

I lay back on my bed and cried my heart out. I feel hurt because of what I know plus the numbness I feel on my extremities. They cried with me while rubbing my arms and back, hushing me to stop crying.

I should act normal, right? I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. One day I’ll tell him about my condition but right now, I can’t.

After a few moments of thinking, I told my parents not to accept any visitors today until I say so. I need to think and I need to think fast.

---

“What should I do?”

I told myself, alone in my room. It’s just past lunch time and I already received too many text messages and missed calls from them, from Jiyong.

I don’t want them to see me with puffy eyes and hear my hoarse voice due to crying so I didn’t answer any of it. I decided to just sleep and take some rest then later, I’ll think of something to make me forget about all this.

It’s already 7PM now; I woke up at 5PM and I still can’t think of anything. Who am I kidding anyway? How can I forget about my condition when every time I tried to do something my hands tremble.

I forced myself not to cry again about this because I know it can only make my situation worse. It will just make me stress and that’s one of the factors the doctor said for the fast progression of my disease.

Now what?

---

Another day has passed and I’m still avoiding them. I can hear them knocking hard on my door, especially Jiyong. They never stop texting me but I still don’t reply to any of it. I know that what I’m doing right now is silly but I can’t think straight. All I can do is to stay away from them.

*sigh*

“What’s your decision now, Ms. Im.” The doctor asked me.

Yesterday, we talked about my condition and I told him that I really want to go home.

“If I go DAMA (Discharge Against Medical Advise), you said I can still continue the treatment, right?”

“Of course you can.” He said.

“And what treatment am I going to have?”

“Physical Therapy is one of them and-“

“One of them?” I cut him off.

“Yes, it’s ‘treatmentS’ Ms. Im.” He said emphasizing the ‘S’.

I sighed again and continue to listen to everything he’s saying. He explained to me and to my parents all the details about the treatments they will give me.

“I personally think you should stay here. Think about the DAMA more.” My daddy said.

I just nodded.

They smiled at me and they both kissed the top of my head. “Goodnight, we love you.”

“I love you too.” I smiled back.

As I try to sleep, I came up with something I might regret when time comes but what can I do now? I need to make them see that I’m not affected with this disease so they should never get affected too. I don’t want anyone to feel hurt and suffer because of me.

After another day, I signed the consent for DAMA but of course, I’ll continue my treatments. I promised my friends that one.

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(Jiyong’s POV)

“Why isn’t she responding? This is so frustrating! Ugh!” I said, furious.

I’m with my friends here in my house. It’s been almost a month since she avoids us, or just me?

“You should try to understand her Ji. Just try. Everything she wants to do and anything she will do, we all need to understand her.” Lay said.

What are they trying to say? I can feel that they have something that I don’t know.

There’s this one time that I accidentally heard them talking about Yoona’s health. Why? Last time we checked, she’s been discharged by her doctors without even informing any of us, or just me? So I guess she’s already okay. It’s not like she has a disease that she really needs to stay away from people, right?

*sigh*

I really don’t get them.

Then sometimes, I caught Fany in the kitchen, in the middle of the night, crying alone while holding a picture with her and Yoona in it. 

I don’t know what to think right now. For the past weeks, I became more and more frustrated because I don’t know what happened to her. It’s so sudden. She didn’t even give us any hint that she’ll be gone.

3 weeks. Why is she avoiding me? What’s her reason? She’s not answering my calls and messages. When I asked our friends if they heard anything about her, they’re saying no. I even asked Jae, Hae and TOP about her but I got the same answers. 

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(No One’ POV)

Yoona’s been having her treatments as planned. She’s doing 2 PT sessions per week and she’s doing it for a month already.

Up until now she’s not answering any of Jiyong’s calls. She didn’t communicate to any of her friends, even to Lay and Fany, which of course, hard for her because they’re her best friends.

She made up her mind last week that she’s ready to face them all, but not ready to stay with them. When she faces them later, she will then say her goodbyes. That’s the only thing she’s sure to do.

After her schedule of PT today, she go straight to Jiyong’s house where everyone stays for summer.

‘I’m ready, right?’ She thought before heaving a sigh.

*ding dong*

“Hello?” Yoona greeted as soon as the door opened.

(-_-) (o_o) (-_-) (o_o)

“Ahhhh!!!”

Yuri blinked twice before screaming at the top of her lungs. She was really surprised to see Yoona outside their door.

The others rushed to her only to be surprised too.

“Yoong!!!” Sica shouted.

“Jiyong! Yoona is here!” Tao called.

“Oh my God Yoong! Where have you been?” Yuri hugged her tightly.

“Hahaha. Maybe we can talk inside?” Yoona asked.

“Hahaha. Sorry Yoong. Come in, come in.” Yuri escorted her inside.

She sat on the couch and was surprised when Jiyong walked down the stairs while crinkling his eyes.

“What’s happening? Why are you screaming? You j-“

(0.0)

He was surprised that he stiffened for a few seconds with wide eyes before smiling widely at them. 

Yoona stood up and awkwardly smiled then suddenly, she felt Jiyong’s arms around her, sobbing.

“I missed you, Yoona! *sobs*” He whispered but loud enough for everyone to hear.

That made Yoona cry in his arms too while the girls tear up with the scene in front of them.

“I missed you too Jiyong…” She finally replied thought it’s not one of the things she planned to do today.

They stayed in that position for about a minute and the other let them stay that way. They can feel how they miss each other and they can’t ruin the moment now.

After some time, she said that she will going to stay for the night. The others protested with the fact that she’s going to stay for just a night, not to stay with them for good, but they need to understand her.

She and all of her friends who know about her disease didn’t mention anything about it. They just want to spend the day with her full of happiness.

‘Why can’t you stay here?’ Jiyong thought as he stares at Yoona, talking to Lay.

“What are you thinking, lover boy?” Fany appeared beside him.

“Am I the only one feeling her aura?” Jiyong asked.

“What?” Fany asked back.

“It’s different, you know…ugh! Never mind. I just feel that something’s wrong, Fany.” He confessed.

Fany looked at him with pained expression. ‘If only you knew Ji. It will break your heart.’ She thought.

---

“So when are you going to tell him?” Lay asked Yoona when they’re finally alone in the balcony.

“Soon, Lay. Soon.” She answered, not looking at him.

“I hope you’re not going the wrong way again, Yoong.”

“…” Yoona didn’t replied and just stare at her best friend.

“I’m right. You’re going the wrong way again.” Lay gave her a serious look.

“…”

“When are you going to stop hurting yourself…and Jiyong?” Lay faced her completely with his elbow over the paling. “*sigh* It will just make everything worse than before.”

“I know someday I will regret this decision but I don’t want to hurt him.”

“What?” Lay asked, pissed. “What’s with every sick person not telling their love ones the truth about their condition? You don’t want to hurt them? Can’t you see that you’re just making it hard for everyone? You’re already hurting him.”

“Lay…please…” Yoona pleaded. “…I mean it’s harder to see your girlfriend die than seeing your EX-girlfriend die.”

“Aish! *sigh* Come here.” He then pulled Yoona to him and hugged her tightly. “I’m still thinking that you’re doing the wrong decision. I don’t understand your way of thinking.” He shook his head. “You think if you leave him now instead of later, the love he have for you will vanish? And do you really think that if you die as his girlfriend or not, the pain he’ll feel will have a difference? If you do, then you’re stupid.”

“Yah.” Yoona slapped his arm lightly.

“He loves you before, now, and I’m sure he will still love you in the future. It will never change and you, of all people should know that.”

“I don’t know, Lay. I don’t know what to do anymore. And I know that even if I don’t tell him now, sooner or later he will still know my reasons.”

“Tss.” Lay reacted and continue to hug Yoona.

*ehem*

Jiyong cleared his throat when he saw Yoona and Lay hugging.

“I’m beginning to think that you’re cheating on me, Yoona.” Jiyong said.

‘Did he hear something? Everything? Omo!’ Yoona thought in panic.

“Hey. Why do you look so awkward? Maybe you’re talking about me, right?” He walks towards Yoona and back hugged her.

“*chuckle* I think I should go now.” Lay said and gave Yoona a light squeeze on her hands before totally entered and disappeared on their sight.

“Yoona…”

Jiyong’s voice suddenly became serious and that made Yoona feel her heart beat raise.

‘He heard it.’ She thought, scared.

“…” Yoona didn’t talk.

“Please stay with me.”

“…” Yoona can’t form a word but after a few seconds, she spoke. “Jiyong I can’t. I need to spend this summer with my parents.”

“*sigh* Okay, if you say so.” He paused. “But Yoona…” He called.

“Hmm?”

“…sleep in my room tonight.”

Yoona stiffened. She’s sure that if they spend the night together, she will never let him go, that all her effort of doing this will be all gone to waste.

“In your room? Why?” She asked.

“I just want to hug you the whole night before you leave me again.”

“Jiyong…” She hesitates. She feels that Jiyong knows she’ll leave him for good.

“Yeah?”

“I have something to tell you.” She shut her eyes as tightly as her hold on his hands resting on her tummy.

“What is it?” Jiyong still don’t have any clue of what’s happening. He doesn’t care about anything right now, all he cares about is that he’s hugging Yoona and she’s holding his hands tightly.

“I know we didn’t have a good start because of what happened last finals...Are we together now? ‘Cause if so, let’s…let’s break up.”

“What…wh-“ Jiyong’s brows creased but he’s still holding on to her.

“Jiyong…”

“…” He didn’t talk. He just loosens his hold on her and looked down.

The gesture gave the chance to Yoona to face him. “Jiyong please understand. I’m not doing this because I don’t love you, I-“

“Then what?” Anger can be seen on his face now. “Ha? You’re so unpredictable.”

“Ji-“She tried to hold his hands and explain but Jiyong pulled his hands away.

“You’re…random…so fickle-minded.” He whispered while looking down.

“Please…” Yoona tried to explain again but when Jiyong looked at her in the eyes, she back out. She feared his expression and she knows that this very moment, she’s regretting her decisions.

“Why don’t you just tell me that you don’t love me straight than making it more complicated for me even though it means the same thing?” He chuckled bitterly. “I love you, Yoona.”

He turned his back at her and started to walk inside but stopped when Yoona grabbed the hem of his shirt.

“Please understand…” She pleaded while crying.

She waited for him to talk but for a few seconds, he remained silent. Then he forced her to let go of his shirt and said, “I can’t.” and continue his way to his room.

---

The others didn’t know what happened in the balcony until Yoona came down crying her heart out. She cried and cried in front of her friends while they try to make her stop. Yuri wanted to confront her brother but Yoona beg her not to.  She also makes them promise not to tell Jiyong about her condition. It was all against their will but they still made a promise.

When she’s already calm and ready to sleep in her room with Fany, she stood up and sneaked out of their room.

‘What am I doing here?’ She asked herself when she realized where she’s standing.

*sigh*

*knock knock*

She gasped and covered when she unconsciously knocked at Jiyong’s room. She didn’t move an inch like she’s waiting for him to open the door for her but she’s actually praying that he’s already asleep, that will save her from embarrassment.

‘Who’s that?’ Jiyong lazily stood up from his bed. He never really fell asleep, in fact, he can’t sleep.

‘Maybe Lay wants to talk to me about what happened.’ He thought as he walks towards the door.

“Lay wh-“ He automatically stopped when she saw Yoona in front of him holding her hands tightly on her chest.

“Jiyong…”

“*sigh* What are you doing here Yoona?” He asked coldly and walked towards his bed again.

“I…I…” She stuttered, but still followed him inside and closed his door behind her.

Jiyong just looked at her, waiting for what she’s about to say.

“Can I sleep here with you?” Yoona said while looking at the side, blushing.

(0_____________0)?

His eyes widened and blushed too.

“Why do you want to sleep here all of a sudden?” He continued his cold treatment on her.

Yoona smiled as soon as she saw him blushed.

“W-Why are you smiling like that?” Jiyong asked.

“Are you mad at me?” Yoona asked.

“Of course I am ma-“ He stopped. “Who wouldn’t get mad when you’re girlfriend broke up with you with no apparent reason?” He glared at her.

“Jiyong, let me explain first.” She started. ‘How should I say this?’ She thought. “*sigh* I’m really breaking up with you…”

When Jiyong heard her say it again, his heart broke into pieces again. His eyes started to water.

“…but I’m not breaking up with you because I don’t love you anymore. I have reasons; I just don’t want you to know about it now.” Yoona continued.

He just looked at her; confusion is visible in his eyes.

“Jiyong, please…just…just leave it to me. I love you…but for now, let’s stay as friends. At least our friendship can never break. Just…please. Don’t make it hard for me…and for you too.”

She begins to cry silently. As much as she wanted to swallow all the things that she has said, she knows she can’t. She badly wants to tell him her condition but when she sees how hurt her friends and parents now because of her, she changes her mind.

She didn’t realize that she’s already in a tight hug with Jiyong, hushing her to stop.

“I really don’t understand Yoona. But if I’m making it hard for you, okay…I…I’ll pretend to understand.”

With that, she cried hard on his chest. She can’t believe that she’s hurting this man hugging him when she knows that he loves her from moon and back.

“Shh…Don’t worry about me.” Jiyong hushed and assisted her to lie on his bed.

He lay beside her and hugged her tightly again.

“Let’s just forget what happened today and let’s just take advantage of our time together.”

Yoona nodded.

“But…can I still love you tomorrow?” Jiyong asked.

Yoona just nodded again and smiled. “Just hug me like we’re still lovers, just this one last time.”

Though he really wanted to complain when he heard ‘this one last time’, he controlled himself when he saw how sad she looks right now under his hold. Her puffy eyes, the sadness he sees in it, that made him stopped and just goes on with the flow.

---

He woke up on his bed, alone. He grabbed his phone and he saw it’s just 4:30AM.

“Yoona?” He called.

Then a paper caught his attention. It was left over his bedside table next to his phone. He reads it and his eyes began to well up in tears.

He run on Fany’s room and knocked hard.

“Yoona!” He shouted, waking all of his friends.

He knocked on every room and called for her name repeatedly, along the hallway, the balcony and downstairs. 

“Jiyong…stop crying.” Fany said as she too is trying so hard to control her tears, but she failed.

They all know what’s happening and as they predicted, it’s heart breaking.

“I’m going to find Yoona…I’m going to find her…” He continued to cry and cracked his voice as he struggled on Tao’s hold. He doesn’t care if he looks ugly and wasted due to crying but all he can think of right now is Yoona. He wants Yoona back.

Yuri run towards her brother and hugged him tight. They are both crying in front of their friends and Tao looked away.

“Jiyong…don’t bother hope to be her husband anymore. She’s sick-“ Lay started but Sica cut him off.

“Lay!” Sica shouted.

Jiyong looked at him confused.

“We promised her, remember?” She said.

“No Sica. Lay’s right. Jiyong deserves to know the truth. He deserves to know why she’s like that.” Tao interfered.

“…” Jiyong can’t process everything that he’s hearing.

“Jiyong…Yoona’s sick. She has MS (Multiple Sclerosis). It’s an incurable disease, poor prognosis. She’s like that to you because she don’t want you to hope for cure like what’s she’s doing now. She’s afraid, but she’ll going to die anyway. She doesn’t want to be a burden to you.” Lay explained.

“She doesn’t want to be a burden to someone committed to her. That’s why she chose to be just your friend. She loves you too much Ji, she just don’t want you to get tied to someone who’s dying.” Fany added.

Sica walks towards Yuri and hugged her tight. She really can’t take everything by herself.

‘She’s dying. No cure?’ Jiyong thought.

He can’t process all the information he got and he just cried, fearing that anytime, he can never see her again.

----------

(Yoona’s POV)

I felt his chest steady as he breathes and I’m sure he’s already asleep. I looked at his phone over his bedside table and saw the time, 11PM.

I slowly and carefully pushed his hands away from me and I stood up. I’ve decided to leave now.

I searched for some pen and paper and started to write a letter for him. I silently turned his lamp shade on and write.

When I started to write his name, my heart begins to break and my tears continuously flow down my face. I continued to write the word I wanted to say to him but I suddenly felt my hands trembled. I can’t hold the pen properly that made it hard for me to continue writing.

I stare at Jiyong, sleeping soundly on his bed. I relaxed my hands and when I think I can continue writing, I did. But I’m beginning to have the difficulty again with just a second’s interval. I felt my heart raised but I don’t have a choice but to continue what ‘m doing. I begin to have mistakes on my writing but I still continued. 

I crossed out the part when I accidentally wrote about how I don’t want him to hope for cure because I know he will see the hint instantly. And as I continue to write the words, my hands became more and more numb that I needed my left hand for assistance to move my right hand to write the letters correctly.

Finally, after almost 30 minutes, I finished it with my name. I just put the letter on his bedside table near his phone with the pen over it.

I hope he reads this tomorrow.

“Jiyong, I love you.” I whispered to him, wiped my tears on my face and kissed him lightly on his lips.

After that, I left.

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Jiyong, 

    I know that when you see this letter, I am most probably gone. Sorry if I didn’t wake you up to say goodbye, but don’t worry Ji, I kissed you on the lips. Thank you for the hug last night, my favorite hug. I promise I won’t forget it until I die. Sorry if I’m such a headache for you. So I’m ending it now because if I do this later, it will be harder for the both of us. Are you willing to grant me my one lat wish? Don’t tire yourself on loving me and please, I know you want to run out and find me now, so don’t. I’m not hiding from anyone. I’m not running away, not again, especially not from you. I want your love too, I really do, but I don’t want you to get hurt for something that will surely happen. I already lost count on how many times I’ve hurt you and I really can’t see you hurting because of me again. Just remember this, Kwon Jiyong, I love you and I will love you until my dying day.

                                            Yoona,

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A/N: sorry again for the late update, ^_^ v .. i made it a long chapter for you guys,, since i always update late, sorry about that..

enjoy guys!!!!  ✖⭕✖⭕