CHAPTER 45 : Melancholy

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“HARD TIMES WILL ALWAYS REVEAL TRUE FRIENDS.”

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*January 5, 2k--*

After the party last Christmas, I learned so many things.

First, Sulli is not TOP’s real sister. She was adopted at the age of 11 when her parents die on a house fire. Sulli’s father is a younger brother of TOP’s father so they are really related to each other. So the brother she mentioned during our bonfire years ago isn’t TOP.

Second, Sulli’s already in the States. She has a personality disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and she was being treated there too.

Third, she’s the one started the fire when her parents and brother died.

Fourth, she started receiving treatments when TOP’s parents adopt her but then the doses were reduced when the symptoms didn’t show for more than half a year already.

It’s just sad that I actually treated her as one of my friends but she still tried to kill me. I hope she’s not behind the motorbike accident happened to me before I fly to the States.

I know she planned all the things that happened to me and Jiyong, I clearly understand that she wants Jiyong all to herself but for a girl to plan for someone’s death? I don’t think I can ever understand that.

Anyways, here I am again inside my room, hospital room. I was admitted last year, December 27, 2k--, when I collapsed again. I am here in this white room for 9 days already.

“Good morning Yoona.”

The doctor came and greeted me, my parents came after him.

I just smiled at them.

“How do you feel right now? Better?”

“It’s the same. Nothing’s changed. I can’t walk without any help. I can’t even hold my phone for a long time.” I honestly complained.

“Well, we’re still waiting for the MRI result taken yesterday. But we still need to do the Lumbar Puncture.”

“It’s okay doc. But can I go home? I still need to study. The class started and I’m already a day late.” I asked with difficulty. Lately, I’ve been having difficulty of everything, even breathing.

“If you’re asking me, I’ll say no.” He said. I wanted to ask him why but he immediately continues. “I’ve seen the result of your MRI earlier in the laboratory. It isn’t finish yet but I saw something bugging. If you remember, you had a gunshot incident, right?”

I nodded.

“Infections cause the immune system of MS patients to be depressed. Your infection was because of the foreign body that entered your system due to the gunshot. The only thing I am curious now is that the infection took a lot slower to affect you when it usually affect a person’s system fast. We can never be sure of these things until I see the whole result.”

“What do you mean doctor?” I asked.

“I will not allow you to go to school now that your immune system is at risk.” He replied.

“But-“

“I think you need to talk to your parents first.” He bowed to me and to my parents before going outside.

“Mom, Dad, I have school to attend t-“

“You’re not going to school anymore Yoona.” My dad sternly said.

My brows creased. The doctor just said that he still needs to see the final results to make sure if his hypothesis is real. Why can’t they think about the positive? “B-“

“You can’t even walk properly baby.” He cut me off.

“Baby…” My mom called and sat beside me. “You exert too much energy just to walk, and it exhaust you, what more if you’re going to continue schooling? The little energy you have will drain until you have nothing. And I don’t want that to happen. I don’t want that to happen baby.”

Then she started to cry again.

“Mom…” I’m trying to be composed and not to cry in front of them.

“We just want you to stay with us and continue your treatments.” Dad sat on my other side before hugging the both of us.

---

We’ve decided to go HAMA again. It’s what I want, they agreed to it but of course, in one condition. I will not going back to school. And I will still continue to have the treatments I’m scheduled for. After 2 days, we went home.

The MRI Scan result is worse. My doctor said we need to perform the Lumbar Puncture as soon as possible to verify the MRI result. For second opinion, I guess. So I came back to the hospital and have the LP procedure thinking and praying for a positive result.

It’s been almost 2 weeks when the school starts and my friends keep on bugging me just to ask when I’ll be back or if I’m still going back. I let them know through Fany that I’m not going back to school. Not now that I’m stuck here on my wheeled chair.

*sigh*

Enough with my sickness.

‘I miss my friends.’

Actually, Mu6 and Jiyong visit me every weekend. Jiyong said he wanted to visit every day, and even if I want him to, I still said no. I don’t him to get tired and stressed because of me and his studies. The reason I broke up with him is because I don’t want him to think that I’m his responsibility. But what’s happening now? It’s no use.

I understand now what my doctor’s trying to tell me. I read a blog titled “Minor Injury leads a Major MS Relapse” by Trevis Gleason. He said he had a little punctured wound that he ignored and later made him weak and gave him a flu-like symptoms then later needs him to be hospitalize.

I know now what they’re talking about. I really need to be careful on my every move. Even a slight cut should be avoided.

Aish! Living with MS is so hard!

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Today is Saturday and I am so excited to see them. We decided to eat lunch here. I don’t want them to see me on this situation but what can I do? I can barely walk right now. My doctor explained to me and my parents last Wednesday the LP result. I don’t want to talk about it with my friends.

Whenever they’re here, we busied ourselves on anything but my disease. We never talked about it. I never told them about the latest results because I don’t want them to worry. Even if I know they are worried about me, I just don’t want to add to it anymore.

I just need to be happy and stay healthy for them, right?

“Yooooona!!!”

I was shocked to hear Chaerin’s, Hyuna’s, and Taeyeon’s voice shouting as soon as the door opened.

“Guys!” I smiled and said. Actually I shouted, but it sounded like a whisper. Well.

We hugged each other and talked about anything that I missed. And since it’s too many, we talked for hours about all of it.

“Lunch is ready.” Lay shouted from the kitchen with my parents. “C’mon let’s eat.”

They all head towards the dining area when suddenly my wheeled chair moved.

“I missed you Yoona!” Jiyong said and kissed me on my left cheek. “C’mon?”

I nodded. “Thank you.”

He smiled at me. I don’t know if he heard it, but I doubt.

We ate in silence while smiling at each other without definite reasons. I am so glad to see my friends here, all of my closest friends.

“Are you okay Yoong?” Fany suddenly asked.

I just nod. But I don’t know, I have this weird feeling since I started eating.

‘Please not now. Please not now.’ I think about it all the time but it’s no use.

*wrackkk*

“Oh my God Yoong!” Fany shouted.

“What happened?”

“Jiyong! Get the car ready, please!”

“Baby? What happened to her?”

I can hear them all panicking but I can’t see them even if I have my eyes wide open.

“C’mon!”

I felt someone carried me and then…

*black*

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(No One’s POV)

‘Please be okay, Yoong…’ Fany thought as she walks back and forth.

“Hey Fany. Stop crying.” Lay hugged her. His eyes are welled up with tears too yet he’s trying so hard to control it and not to cry in front of their friends. He’s trying to stay strong for all of them. But who is he kidding? Every night he’s crying while praying to God for Yoona’s health, life.

“We have to be strong for the others, okay Fany?” Lay said making Fany stopped.

“I…I c-can’t-“ Fany’s voice cracked.

“No, you can. We can because we need to…” He paused. “…look at them. They are all hurting. They are all losing hope.”

Fany looked at their friends for a moment. Sica and Yuri are still crying while Chaerin comforts both Hyuna and Taeyeon. Jiyong and Tao are both staring into space.

*sigh*

Fany finally nodded and wiped her tears.

“*ehem* Guys, I think we need to go home and take some rest.” Fany started. “It’s already dinner time and we’re still waiting. We should just take the news tomorrow. Please?” She finished with all the courage she has just to not crack her voice.

Everyone except Jiyong moved and stood up.

“Let’s go home Ji.” Lay said.

“I’m going to wait here.” Jiyong answered without looking at him.

“O-Oppa…” Yuri called and that’s the only time Jiyong moves.

Yuri went to her brother and hugged him tight. “Please?”

With that, Jiyong hugged Yuri back and cried in her arms. The others tried not to look at him but even if they turn their gazes to anything but Jiyong, their tears still fall down their faces.

They waited for him to calm down before they completely got out of the hospital and went home.

---

Jiyong didn’t eat dinner. He doubt if anyone else did. He just took a shower and lay on his bed. He can’t help but to think of Yoona’s condition. He doesn’t want to think for the worst but it’s what his brain is processing. 

‘She never mentioned anything about it since the year started.’

“Please God. Not now. I still want to spend my every days with her. At least the time when we’re all prepared.” His voice cracked due to crying. His tears continuously flow down the side of his face to his pillows.

“You know how much I love her, r-right? P-Please give this one last chance to us. Please.”

From lying supine, he shifted to prone position and cried until he fell asleep.

Same goes for the others, especially Fany.

Cruel.

She’s thinking that this situation just happens when someone did a bad thing. Like it’s a karma. But how can someone so angelic, so kind, like her friend, experiences these things?

She never really knows. She wanted to blame someone, but who? But why? She doesn’t know how to think straight, now that she knows what could happen to Yoona. And now that she saw how much Yoona suffered, she can’t help but to cry and pray for her.

‘If only I can share with your pains and sufferings, I will.’ She always thought.

The only thing that she can do now, and just like what others are doing, is to pray, and cry in their rooms alone.

---

*March 6, 2k--*

January ends, February starts and now March came. They can barely see Yoona in the house because of nonstop hospitalization, but in the end, decided to go HAMA and be hospitalize again due to respiratory distress.

But her friends never gave up.

They visit her regularly and whenever they do, they bring something with them.

Tao usually brings foods that are allowed for Yoona and brags about his relationship with Yuri. Not as a couple but as a cat and mouse of the group. It never fails to make Yoona laugh and smile.

Lay always give Yoona origamis, flowers, hearts, and he always stays with her the whole day just watching movies and K-Dramas. He knows that Yoona likes to walk out of her room but he will just convince her to stay. He tries to make her feel like she’s still the same energetic Yoona they all know before, but because of the IV connected to her, the oxygen connected to her, she’s making a hard time enjoying.

The 3TS already visited Yoona and Donghae can’t help but to shed a tear for her. TOP said Yoona can’t see anyone crying because of her now so he wiped his tears immediately and tried to hide his sadness. Jaejoong, though he knew about her condition, cannot help but to be shocked to see his friend this pale and thin. He can’t actually touch her because he feels like she’ll break. He wanted to cry but decided not to do it in front of her. He knows that it’s not good for her, or to anyone. And because of their busy schedules, they only had the chance to visit her once.

“Maybe on summer.” TOP said.

Then Jiyong. He never fails to visit her in the house or even in the hospital. He will just bring his guitar with him and play a song for her, his own compositions. Though his heart feels broken, he still managed to write a song with happy thoughts, an in love concept. It made Yoona smile every time.

Yoona have hard time speaking so he’s making all the talking by himself even if he’s not really that type of guy. He always shows her how much he loves her by kissing her forehead, lips, and hands. He never fails to say ‘I love you’ to her.

***

(FOREVERMORE by: SideA)
There are times
When I just want to look at your face
With the stars in the night
There are times
When I just want to feel your embrace
In the cold of the night
I just can't believe that you are mine now

You were just a dream that I once knew
I never thought I would be right for you
I just can't compare you with
Anything in this world
You're all I need to be with forevermore

All those years I've longed to hold you in my arms
I've been dreaming of you
Every night,
I've been watching all the stars that fall down
Wishing you would be mine
I just can't believe that you were mine now

You were just a dream that I once knew
I never thought I would be right for you
I just can't compare you with
Anything in this world
You're all I need to be with forevermore

Time and again
There are these changes that we cannot end
As sure as time keeps going on and on
My love for you will be forevermore

Wishing you would be mine
I just can't believe that you were mine now

You were just a dream that I once knew
I never thought I would be right for you
I just can't compare you with
Anything in this world
As endless as forever
Our love will stay together
You're all I need to be with forever more
(As endless as forever
Our love will stay together)
You're all I need
To be with forevermore
***

“Do you like it?” Jiyong asked as he placed his guitar down.

Yoona nodded and smiled.

“I actually wrote that while crying.” He scratched the back of his head. “You are the most important person to me right now. I hope I can make you feel that.” Jiyong stared at her.

Yoona smiled at him again.

“I love you.” He said before kissing her on the lips. Smooth, gentle kiss.

“I love you so much Yoona.” He repeated and then hugged her.

“Thank you Jiyong. I love you too.” Yoona answered in a very quiet voice, more like a whisper.

“Anyway…” Jiyong started. “I’m working on this song for you actually.”

“*chuckles* Are you planning to make an album?” Yoona asked.

“Hahaha. Yeah, yeah. But I’m not sure of the title yet. Maybe “My Dear Yoona” is okay? What do you think?”

Yoona shook her head at him and they laughed.

Jiyong waited for her to fall asleep before he goes out of her room and go home.

“Please stay with me.”

He’s always whisper to her before he leaves every night.

A/N: hello guys !!! ^_^ so it's already chapter 45 ,,  3 more chapters before it ends!!!

by the way, do you listen to the songs here?? please do listen to it..  this song is great !! ^_^

hope you enjoy!!! thank you!! ^_^  LOVE LOTS !!