CHAPTER 44 : Relish

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(Yoona’s POV)

Days, weeks, months have already passed since I ran away. Did I really run away? No, I didn’t. I will never do that again, but literally, I did run.

The next day I learned that they already told him my reasons, or should I say my ‘unacceptable’ reason for breaking up with him, again. We had our talk when he arrived at my house later that day with the same clothes he wore when we slept together last night. I tear up by just looking at him. I never thought I can affect him that much up until now even if I already left him hanging years ago.

I apologized nonstop while he never let me go from his hug. I don’t want to see him cry over me having a disease but I really felt touch when he did. Don’t get me wrong, I just feel like I’m the most loved person in whole wide world that time when he said…

-‘Yoona don’t cry, you…no. We. We can do this. You will live and you will live your life beside me, whatever happens I will never stop showing you how satisfied I am just by having you in my arms.’-

-‘If someone’s happiness is your happiness, that is love.’- He said, and that’s the only time I stopped. Then my father appeared from his room and hugged Jiyong.

I love seeing them like that.

And I want to see them like that more years from now.

No doubt, he loves me more than I love myself.

---

I’m continuing my studies now after I talked with my doctors. They explained the cons to me but I still manage to convince them. All they want is someone who can watch over me 24/7. So I am studying again and almost all the people know my condition. They became careful when I am around, afraid that they might hit me and then I will break like a fragile glass. I hate to think about it but what can I do? I really am frail.

I am currently on my fourth year now and few months from now, we will all graduate. I hope!

I didn’t get the chance to take the final exam last semester, remember? Hmm…I think it already happened twice. But the teachers gave me another chance, so yeah. I’m still in the same year as my friends. I’m still lucky, don’t you think?

Jiyong. He’s my 3rd best friend. I am a liar if I tell you that I’m okay with it, because I am not. I know he’s not fine with it too. But I think it’s enough that we both know how much we love each other though I know that he loves me more than I love him.

Proof?

He’s with me all the time.

More?

He’s with me all the time because he shifted in my college.

Yes.

He shifted to my course just because he wants to be with me all the time. He doesn’t want to leave me even for just a second, he said. He talked to my doctors and they all trust him.

“I’m going to be your bodyguard for the second time, Yoona. And this time, I will never leave you. I’ll never let anyone or anything ruin my time with you. I love you.”

‘I love you’ are the words we usually use. Casual.

That was so sweet of him. I never thought I can still feel the giddiness I feel for him before now that I already have something occupying almost all the space inside my brain, Muscular Sclerosis.

“You’re lucky to have that kind of man in your life.” Fany said.

We just finished our dinner and we’re talking about Jiyong who’s washing the dishes.

“True.” Sica agreed.

I smiled before saying, “I know.”

We watched Jiyong as he was laughed out by Tao and Lay for crying in front of my parents. They are so mean.

Anyways, pain and numbness attacks sometimes but not like before I receive the treatments. I have sessions of Physical Therapy during Monday and Thursday. Jiyong and the others volunteered to go with me but most of the time, it’s Jiyong. Seeing them being as supportive as they can be for my treatments, I know I can endure everything. Besides my parents, they’re the source of my strength.

I can still do what a normal person can do but of course, with limitations. I love to do exercises, light or not, I can do it. But how can I climb a mountain when I feel so tired just by walking down the street? I can’t even go walking alone. Having this disease is hard! However, I am used to it. Cautions, limitations, perks. Though I’m beginning to feel weak more and more, I still show them that I can live longer. It’s just hard when you don’t know when you are going to die. I just hope, and I really hope, that I can live my life longer, even with MS, and be with the people I love for many years.

---

Its weekend and we’re all in Jiyong’s house, resting.

“So Jiyong…I have a friend, who knows a friend that is friends with this totally cool girl. Do you want to meet her? My friend said she wants to know you better since she watched your viral MV. So…what do you think?” Tao asked.

“Tao…” Yuri sweetly called.

“Yes?” Tao then replied with the same sweetness. I giggled. They are so cute.

“Are you nuts?!” Yuri suddenly shouted.

“Hahaha.” Fany, Sica and I laughed.

“Yoona’s here and you want my brother to date some random girl?! Tss!” She throws cushions at Tao. “You’re not really thinking, are you?”

It took me some time to realize that Yuri’s mad because of my sake. So sweet.

“Hey I-“

I was about to say that it’s okay for me if he date other girls but Jiyong suddenly speak.

“Okay. When and where?” He said, smiling.

No one talked for about 10 seconds, I guess, and we’re all just looking at him.

“What?” He asked.

“I guess you’re already moved on with our Yoong, ha?” Sica asked back.

Jiyong just smiled.

I don’t know, but does he really need to smile? Tss. Why am I being pissed anyway?

“Yah! Oppa!” Yuri shouted in a furious tone.

“What is wrong with you guys?” Lay asked that made us all to look at him. “It’s just right for him to date a girl now. It’s been so long anyway.” He shrugged.

“Lay’s right.” Fany agreed.

‘Really?’ I wanted to look at her but I restrained myself.

“That’s why I’m asking when and where.” Jiyong repeated.

I wanted to say that I’m fine with it earlier but why do I suddenly feel like throwing everything at him? Aish! My cheeks feel hot.

“Is it alright?”

I looked at him. Is it just me or he really asked me that question with a funny look on his face? Is he grinning?

“Of course!” I stood up. Even if I’m having a hard time walking, I still did before they notice my blushing cheeks and before I throw everything on his face.

“Where are you going?” Jiyong asked. “Don’t blush!”

Aish.

And they all laughed.

Even if I hate it, I still smiled because they are happy. I am happy.

I went straight to the kitchen and took an apple. I am mumbling how pissed I am at him before I took a bite on the apple. I hold it in my mouth and when I looked back, I froze.

He took a bite on my apple even if it still on my mouth.

“Don’t get jealous. I wouldn’t date anyone. I promise.” He said looking straight into my eyes.

“I said its fine. You can date whoever you want.”

“Don’t be sarcastic. It’s obvious.” He said and hugged me.

“Ugh! Yah!”

“Hahaha. You’re blushing again, Yoona.”

‘This man!’ I thought. I smiled and returned the hug.

“I told you she’ll get jealous. Now treat me later! Yah Tao!”

Then I heard Yuri shouted.

“They just had a bet. Tss.” Jiyong shook his head.

I chuckled. He pushed me a little and looked at me.

“What?” I asked.

“You’re hugging me.” He smirked.

“Tss.” I hissed and slightly punch his chest. I tried to push him but he just hugged me tighter.

“Let. Go. Of. Me.” I demand.

“I won’t.” He simply replied.

“*sigh*” I gave up. I know he’ll never let me go.

“Let’s stay like this for a while. Don’t stress yourself on pushing me because I’ll never let you go.” He said and smelled my hair.

“Tss.”

I hissed again but I still complied. I hugged him again and I love it.

We stayed like that for a few minutes until we heard a *click* and Sica’s chuckled. When I looked at her, she’s holding a camera and then run.

“Aish.”

“Don’t worry Yoona. I love you.” He said and kissed my forehead before running to Sica.

I really love this guy!

---

Days have passed by so quickly. I feel like it’s just midterm exams yesterday and now it’s already preliminary exams of 2nd semester. Christmas is a few days away and I’m so excited even if my body feels more and more heavy each day. I also feel the pain, numbness and tremors more frequently than last semester. 

I’m scared, I admit it. I’m doing all the doctors’ orders and why am I feeling like this? Like I’m going to pass out soon? I don’t want that to happen, not now that I’m not yet ready for it. And I know my parents and friends aren’t ready too. But what if the worst comes? Am I going to die?

*sigh*

“Are you feeling okay now, Yoona? What do you feel? Why did you collapse?”

And now I collapsed? Is my disease unstoppable now?

“I…I didn’t know I collapse earlier Ji. I just feel my legs numb.” I answered.

“Are you sure? And now? Do you feel any pain? Can you walk?”

I blinked twice.

He looks exhausted. Is it because of me?

He looks like he didn’t get enough sleep and he looks thin. Is it because I worry him?

With all the questions inside my mind, I cried.

“Hey…Yoona. Why are you crying? Is there any pain?” He asked as he assesses my limbs.

I continuously shaking my head to him before I realize he’s already crying too.

“Please…Yoona please tell me what you feel. Everything.  Just please, tell me.” He hugged me tight.

I can’t take this pain anymore. The pain I feel, I know morphine can’t take this away, even the most effective narcotics can’t.

“Shh…You’re going to be fine, I promise.” He said with voice full of hope.

I hope so too Jiyong. I hope so too. 

After I calm down, we went out of the school’s clinic and headed to his car.

---
From: Chaerin -_-

Yoona please be okay.
---

---
From: Taeyeon :)

Please let us know if you’re okay.
---

---
From: Hyuna ;)

Yoona, be okay! Text us, ha? Loves!
---

My classmates sent me their concerns and I appreciate the love they’re showing me.

The ride home was silent. I know and I can feel that he’s scared too. I’m sure.

Before, when I complained about numbness and pain that I feel, he’s relaxed. He will just massage it until the pain stops. But now, he is tense every time I complain something.

When we arrived, he carried me inside and sits me on the couch.

“Next time you feel anything let me know as soon as you feel it, okay?” He said.

I nodded and rested my head on his left shoulder while he’s holding my hands.

I don’t know how to make him feel better. Honestly, all I do to him is to make him worry.

---

I woke up and I realized that we both fell asleep with the same position as earlier.

“Guys, I’ll cook ramen.” Tao shouted.

“You haven’t eaten anything, right? You are both hungry. C’mon.” Lay said.

I smiled and tried to speak but I can’t. My throat feels so dry. I tried to clear my throat 3 times before my voice finally came out.

“Thanks.”

I don’t know if it’s audible but I tried hard.

“You alright now?” Fany holds my hands. “I heard you collapsed.”

“I *cough* I’m fine now, don’t you worry. I just felt my legs numb, that’s all.” I answered.

She suddenly smiled. “Why didn’t you get a room? Does your neck hurts?”

I smiled back and shook my head.

“C’mon, let’s eat.” She said. “Ji!”

She shook Jiyong until he wakes up.

Jiyong opened his eyes and looked at me.

“So we fell asleep here, ha?” He smiled.

“Yes. So let’s eat.” Fany squeezed my hands and head towards the dining area.

“Dinner is ready!” Sica shouted.

“Are you feeling dizzy?” He asked.

“Nope, b-but my legs still feel numb.”

“No worries.” He said and carried me all the way to the dining area.

“Oh, so sweet~” Yuri teased.

We eat in silence and finished faster than before. Maybe they’re all tired of the exams-

“Omo!” I gasped. “Jiyong, I’m so sorry you didn’t finish your exams because of me.”

I really feel guilty. How can I forget about that?

“Don’t worry about it. I already settled everything.” He gave me thumbs up and I smiled at him.

I tried to stand up but I really can’t. These legs of mine really gives me a hard time, I almost fall down.

“Easy…” Lay catches me. “Jiyong, do the dishes, I’ll send her to her room.”

“Okay.”

With that, Lay carried me upstairs to my room with Fany.

“Are you really feeling okay? Tell me the truth.” Lay demanded.

“Lay, my legs are numb and I fall down, that’s it.” I lied.

“And why did you collapsed? If you just fell you wouldn’t be unconscious for about 3 hours.” Lay explained.

“Lay-“

“You need to tell us everything Yoona.” Fany said.

I looked at them and sighed.

“*sigh* My upper and lower limbs feel numb more frequently than before. I also have this unusual difficulty speaking whenever I woke up. I feel pain everywhere. I feel pain everywhere, guys. I’m scared. I’m so scared-“ I admit and my voice cracked.

“Oh Yoong, I’m so sorry.” Fany hugged me from my side and Lay holds my hand.

“We’ll always be here Yoong. Don’t be scared.” Lay assured.

---

It’s already Christmas vacation and everything I feel stays. But at least I can walk now, just with assistance.

We all go home to our home town and I can’t remember a time that they’re not inside our house. It’s like we’re all living together again. My friends from college, Chaerin, Taeyeon and Hyuna, sometimes visit me. I feel happy whenever we’re complete. I heard that the 3TS will have a vacation here and I’m so excited. I just don’t know if TOP and Donghae will celebrate Christmas Eve with us but I’m still excited.

My parents and friends made me forget about my disease. Yes, I feel that it’s inside me but for some strange reasons, I’m forgetting how scared I am.

I love those people who made me laugh, my friends, and my parents. I honestly think that it’s the thing I like the most. To laugh. It’s probably the most important thing in a person. It cures a multiple of ills, unfortunately not mine but I really hope it could too. ‘Cause if it is, I am way cured even before I know I’m sick.

---

Christmas Eve later and my friends decided to spend it with me. Of course, our parents will celebrate it with us too.

“I’m excited with the gift giving! I want to open mine now.” Sica yelled excitedly.

We will have our exchange of gifts later and we brought something for everyone.

Exchange of gifts 1 : Parents to parents
Exchange of gifts 2 : Parents to children
Exchange of gifts 3 : Children to parents
Exchange of gifts 4 : Friends to friends

We had an early dinner at 5:30PM for us to appreciate the foods prepared for later. But it’s just 10:45PM and I’m already starving.

“Maybe we ate our dinner too early. I’m really hungry.” Tao held his tummy.

“Me too.” Yuri pouted.

We are busy talking about how hungry we are right now when we heard a strum of guitar playing.

***

(MISTLETOE by: Justin Beiber)
[DONGHAE]
It’s the most beautiful time of the year
***

It’s Donghae’s voice. We all gathered in our garden and saw Jiyong, Lay, and Donghae holding their guitars.

***
[DONGHAE]
Lights fill the streets spreading so much cheer
I should be playing in the winter snow
But I'mma be under the mistletoe

[LAY]
I don’t wanna miss out on the holiday
But I can’t stop staring at your face
I should be playing in the winter snow
But I’mma be under the mistletoe

[LAY]
With you, shawty with you
With you, shawty with you
With you under the mistletoe

[JIYONG]
Everyone's gathering around the fire
Chestnuts roasting like a hot July
I should be chilling with my folks, I know
But I’mma be under the mistletoe

[JIYONG]
Word on the street Santa's coming tonight,
Reindeer's flying through the sky so high
I should be making a list, I know
But I’mma be under the mistletoe
***

“It’s to kill the time.” TOP said. “We don’t want you girls to feel bored.” He smiled.

“Well, well. I never thought you can actually smile at me like that.” I teased and his smile automatically turns to his normal poker face.

Okay.

They continued to sing and entertain us. They were followed by Tao and TOP’s rap and Sica and Fany’s song number.

When the clock strikes 12MN, they hurriedly go to the dining table and eat. Hahaha. They are really hungry.

After our midnight dinner, we started the gift giving. The parents exchange their gifts first then they give their gifts to us. Jiyong, Yuri and Jae’s parents have 6 gifts in total. One for Jiyong, for Yuri, for Jae, for TOP, for Hae, and for me. They are so sweet.

We then give our presents to our beloved parents before we give ours to our friends. 

It’s not the typical exchange gift that we have to buy a gift to this one person we picked via draw. We bought or made gifts for all and they too bought gifts for all. So in short, we bought 11 gifts minimum. I bought extra gifts for Chaerin, Taeyeon, and Hyuna too and I’ll just give it to them when school starts.

I will not describe all the gifts I’ve seen tonight because it’s just too many. I’ll just give you the details of what I received.

The best is from Fany. She gave me a PINK PLANNER for 10 years. Why do I think it’s the best? Because I feel like she’s giving me no choice but to live longer. Thanks Fany! I wanted to live longer too. I really appreciate it.

I received a WHITE MUSIC BOX from Jae. It’s not the usual music box with a ballerina spinning inside, instead, it’s a specially made music box that when you open it, a figurine of a man, with Jae’s facial features, holding a guitar is rotating plus a tune of ‘KISMET’ is playing. It was a personalize piece that’s why it’s amazing.

TOP gave me a PORTRAIT OF 3TS.  He said he gave me that gift so that I will never forget how handsome they are. TOP is simply funny. Anyways, they are indeed handsome.

A D.I.Y. SCRAPBOOK of Mu6 plus 3TS was given to me by the very creative Yuri. I wonder when she started making this. I saw the picture of me and Jiyong hugging in the kitchen months ago. Tss. Well, I really appreciate the hard work! Thanks Yul!

In the middle of the party, Chaerin, Hyuna, and Taeyeon came with their gifts for me and for my parents. It was a CANVAS SHOES, personally designed by Chaerin herself. It has a chibi painting of the 4 of us and it was so cute. Hyuna and Taeyeon said they helped on coloring. When I looked at their feet, they are all wearing the same design so I quickly changed. They also gave my friends their gifts for them and I am surprised when Yuri, Sica and Fany gave them a gift too.

A very big PAINTING of the whole group by the beach was given to me and exclusively painted by the one and only Lay. I really can’t imagine how they can do this in just a short period of time. Or I’m just too blind to see?

Tao gave me a COOK BOOK. (-____-“) I know what he means. But he explained that I need to learn the entire recipe inside before he can totally leave me. I actually don’t know what he meant by that but he sounded sad. Anyways, I will, Tao! I will.

Donghae gave me a face and arms and legs MASSAGER. He said he wanted to massage me himself but he automatically remembered Jiyong as a jealous dragon. So he bought me a massager. Donghae is so sweet!

I received a GO PRO CAMERA from Sica and I immediately use it and film and capture everything. Thank you Sica for the wonderful gift!

Jiyong gave me a diamond ring. Yes. A DIAMOND RING, with “GYoon <3” engrave on the ring. He even wrote me a card saying “Wear this as a sign of my love and loyalty forever. I love you always.” I almost cried with that but I can’t bear to see my ugly face on my new camera so I controlled it. Hahaha.

My parents gave me a car. I was about to get the keys from them but they handed it to Jiyong. They said I can only use it if and only if Jiyong is with me. Fine! But still, thank you so much mom and dad! I love you so much!

I actually don’t know how to express my gratitude to everyone. I just took a selfie with each and all of them, gave them a kiss and thank you.

I never thought I will receive this much love from all the people I care. The joy I feel right now is indescribable. The only reason I’m still fighting this disease is because of them, my parents, friends, and all the people whose praying for me. And I’m very thankful that my disease didn’t attack today because like I said, it strikes more frequent.

Well, never mind the disease. I just want to feel this moment.

I’m busy staring at my ring finger where Jiyong’s gift is placed when he back hugged me.

“Don’t you ever take that ring off, okay?” He said and I just smiled and nodded my head.

“I wish we can stay like this forever.” He whispered.

‘We can Ji. I know.’ I thought.

“This is the best and the most memorable Christmas Party I’ve ever experienced, Jiyong. Thank you for being a part of it. Thank you so much!” I said.

“Me too. I love you Yoona!” He said and made me face him.

He looked at me straight into my eyes. I can see fear, sadness, and joy inside his eyes and I know he can see how scared I am too. He leaned his face towards me and kissed me gently on my lips.

A/N: sorry guys for updating late,  ^_^ v again!!

by the way, this story is ending soon, so get ready.. haha :)