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3 years ago

 

“Mr. Kang, Mrs. Kang, good afternoon” the doctor appointed to the two girls of the road accident bowed down to the parents, a stern and firm looking expression on his face and was a stout little man in nature, his face sympathetic towards the two individuals standing there looking as lost as ever. The hospital was in a flurry of activity, which didn’t help in their calmness at any cost. He could see that they were tense, very tense for they stood side by side and their faces were pale visages resembling ghosts.

1.  

“What happened?! Is Saerim okay?! What about Soa?!” Mrs. Kang practically threw him with all her questions and the man placed a comforting hand on her shoulder in response, eyes boring into her own whirl of emotions present in her orbs, “Please calm down, Mrs. Kang. It will not help matters if you are this distraught”

 

After the woman had taken deep breaths and tried rendering her breathing calm and composed, he drew back and took a deep breath, his face a serious mask of diplomacy.

 

“Both girls got hit pretty badly. Their injuries are crucial and they have deep wounds. However, their breathing is stable at the moment, the worst crucial part has gone,” Instead of lightening up like what the parents had expected him to, his features took on a turn for a worse, “I’m afraid that, although their stable condition, the 24 hours from now will be crucial. They are both on life monitors but this does not guarantee anything. I’m sorry’

 

They had a choice to make because they didn’t have any money. Two life monitors were too expensive albeit they tried all possibilities available, it was no use. They needed the money, and they couldn’t support both of them. The doctor requested that the younger one’s critical condition was worse, and she might not even make it.

 

The day they chose to end Saerim's life was something Mr.Kang had engraved in the deep, darkest depth of his thoughts. From this day onwards, he felt this underlying guilt every time he looked at Soa, at the only girl that was breathing. Once upon a time, he had two beautiful children, and now he only had one while killing the other. What kind of father could he be? He was so monstrous, he could not live with himself that way, it was impossible to when every time he'd turn and catch sight of a young girl, his thoughts would deviate to Saerim who was now lying in the arms of heaven. It ate at his stomach, at his appetite. Soon enough he skipped meals, came back home late, drunk himself listless so that he didn't have to think of all the problems in his life. He felt like a failure, like he had disappointed his children with his choices no matter how much Mrs.Kang tried comforting him.

 

It would have worked once in a far off land, but not now, not when everything he had put so much effort in building was now crushing down.

 

"Stop drinking" Mrs Kang removed the bottle out of his hands, placing it in the above cupboard and making sure that it was out of his drunk reach. The man sitting opposite her just slumped down on his seat, mumbling incoherently through dripping saliva. "You can't go on like this, you have to stop"

 

"How can... How can I...when I killed my child?" He murmured thickly, emotions clogging up his throat, "how how how?!"

 

This mistake threatened their marriage, until Mrs Kang was about to leave the house and never come back due to all the pain she was receiving when she was doing so much to help him. Everything was falling one after another and it took months of not talking to each other before both families started worrying and finally tried to pursue a family counselor. After that, it became a little bit better, a little less painful when Mr Kang realized that his wife was only here to protect him, not put him down nor be against him.

 

And then Haera came along.

 

They found her, on the sidewalk, bawling because she had been lost. It softened Mr Kang's heart at how much she resembled his younger daughter, and no sooner had he found out that she was an orphan that he started applying for papers of adoption. Due to this, row after row about Soa and their now dead younger child was put on debate, harsh words thrown like knifes across the room and doors slamming inside the too big of a house. Finally, after so much begging, his wife relented only as she thought it would take his mind off Saerim and he'd be able to move on, that he'd become stable again.

But it didn't.

 

The presence of Haera in the house was too stifling, suffocating. They felt like she was an intruder in their house, like a random friend staying over for a few days where they’d pray for the time he’d have to go. He didn’t particularly like it; neither did she; but they said nothing as the first year went by, then the second. Soon enough, Mr. Kang changed when he tricked himself into thinking that maybe this was another recreation of his young daughter, and that this time he couldn’t screw things up. Therefore, he showered her with gifts and expensive jewelry, everything she asked for, as he believed this was his way of repenting his horrible vengeful deeds.

 

“We disconnected Saerim because she had a lesser chance of surviving. Your dad believed it was murder” Mrs. Kang’s voice shook with trembling nostalgia and sadness washing upon her at the memories overflowing her brain. It was as clear as yesterday, felt as real what she was living. It almost felt as if Saerim was there, screaming at her and shooting questions as to why she had been the one to be sacrificed to save their debts.

 

Soa was speechless. felt dry and for a minute her vision went blank.

She wanted to say something, she needed to say something.

But what?

All she could think of was how many lies had sprouted out of her parent’s mouth, how they had hidden her from the truth in chances that she wouldn’t even question them. She shouldn’t have been shocked after everything she had discovered earlier on from Saerim’s orphaned state, but coming out of her mother’s mouth…she didn’t know what to think of it.

She felt empty; she felt the void in her mind.

She could not function.

 

“Soa, please understand that-“

“I need to go,” She blurted out, not missing the mixture of hurt flashing across Mrs. Kang’s face. Right now though, all her mind could think about was of her deceased smaller sister, “Where is Saerim buried? You did have the decency to bury her properly, right?”

 

Her statement caused the older woman to flinch back slightly as she mumbled the address of the cemetery in almost incomprehensible words.

 

At the doorway, she came face to face with her father and they exchanged unreadable looks before she pushed past him and ran out onto the road. Her father could wait, the discussions that came along as well. The priority was Saerim and Saerim alone. All this time, she had been living with a peace of mind that everything had become back to normal although she now questioned really what the definition of normal was, but knowing that her smaller sister was dead was another matter entirely.

 

Soa had not realized until she had come face to face with Saerim’s grave that she was crying. Ugly, dribbling tears were falling to her chin and snot was running down her nose to her lip. One would have found her gross jut by looking at her thinking that she was in a mental asylum. Soa stared at the bold pieces of lettering carved into the stone, her eyes traveling west and east while she read the words again and again just to make sure that they hadn’t made any mistake, that it wasn’t actually someone else other than her sibling, and that she’d return home to see Saerim smiling brightly and waving just like she remembered her. The memories played inside her mind like a movie trailer, all the things they went through together and then she realized just how much she missed her sister, she missed the one she could boss about, she missed their girly talks about who was hot and who was not. Her eyes finding the photograph now splattered with dirt did nothing to comfort her thoughts. The face looking so similar to her own, staring back at her with a seemingly peaceful expression was enough to cause more tears to fall, dripping down her chin while her vision became blurry from too much staring.

 

“Soa”

 

Just with the sound of his voice, she knew it was him without looking. She did not bother turning around and expected his arms that wrapped around her waist then, his warmth traveling to her cold limbs and letting his presence soothe her distraught feelings.

 

Her voice trembled when she asked him, “What are you doing here?”

 

“I knew it was gonna end badly,” He murmured through her hair, his breath hitting the back of her earlobe, “I followed you”

 

“That-“ she let a hiccup escape but chuckled softly albeit the situation, “that sounds stalker-ish”

Hoseok tightened his grip around her and rocked her back and forth slightly, like he would do with a crying baby. His heartstrings tugged to the side upon feeling the vibration of her body every time a soft sob echoed through her voicebox. The only thing he could do was hold her tight. There was nothing else to say when his words would only make her crumble to pieces, and Hoseok did not trust himself in those situations. So he held her, held her till she was too numb from crying, held her even when her sobs dissipated into small hiccups and her dried-up tears caked her cheeks. The guilt weighed down on him whenever her stare would faze out by thinking of everything saddening her, and he was relieved that he had had enough brains to follow her albeit she asked him not to. It didn’t look like she was annoyed by his presence; on the contrary, she looked like she was glad because he was here, because there was someone holding her when she most needed it.

 

“I cry too much” Soa breathed out when there was no more water to shed. Her body was dehydrated, “I’m sorry”

 

Hoseok turned her around with his arms on her shoulders, before bringing her close and pressing a tender kiss on her forehead, the warmth of his lips imprinting her skin for a few seconds. “Stop saying sorry”

“I’m always troubling you with my problems when you have your own” she replied bitterly and looked down at the ground, happy that her hair fell about her to hide her face.

 

His fingers reached out under her chin and tilted her face upwards, his mocha orbs clashing with her saddened ones. “You are my problem”

“No I’m not,” she answered weakly. He just pulled her closer and held her in silence before suddenly catching sight of the tombstone in front of theme. Clearing his throat, he stepped back from Soa and the girl was mildly surprised upon seeing him crouch down in front of the tomb, eyes staring directly at the piece of carved stone with a frown gracing his face.

 

Soa was about to question his actions when he spoke next, voice husky with depth, “Anyeonghaseyo, Saerim-ssi”

 

What in the world- through the numbness echoing inside her ears, Soa frowned at his crouched form and wondered whether he had lost his mind.

 

“I’m Jung Hoseok, I’m your sister’s boyfriend” he said it so calmly in contrast to Soa’s flushed embarrassment hitting the back of her neck. It took a few seconds to understand what he was doing, but his words confirmed her doubts as she realized with a pang that he was talking to her sister, to her dead sister. The thought of treating Saerim like she was actually there by their side caused a soft warmth to blossom through her chest. She was lucky to have such a loving boyfriend; he may be full of defaults and flaws but his positive ones overpowered them all, he was a good man deep down inside.

 

“She’s hurting, she’s hurting because she thought you were alive, that you were someone you were not” He reached out without looking at Soa and grasped her hand in his. “She’s gone through so much, I don’t even know how she managed it”

 

Soa gulped down the sudden clog of emotions in , looking down at the soft crown of his head, the light hitting his dark brown strands.

“I’m proud to know someone like her, I’m glad that I met her” Soa was left stunned at his next words as they kept flowing out like they had never before. Hoseok was not one to express himself easily and preferred to stay silent to wallow in his own feelings, most of the time due to the fact that he was confused himself; but this side of Hoseok, the emotional and sensitive side, it was the first time for Soa to be presented with his vulnerability.

 

“I don’t usually say things like this, but I have to. If not now, maybe never” Hoseok ran a hand through his hair and gripped onto his black locks, tugging in nervousness, “but I love her, and I hope I get your blessing” with a hand, he reached out to touch the stone with a finger, head bowing in deep respect while the other hand gripping onto Soa’s one squeezed slightly. The girl could just stare in half amazement and half awe, “That woman’s the one I want to marry. She’s the mother that will bear my children. Because you mean so much to her, I hope to get your approval”

 

Soa’s mouth dropped open at his last words as she replayed his statement again and again, sniffing slightly before understanding what he meant. A soft blanket of rose settled upon her cheeks like a dusty layer of peony petals while she looked down at the ground and thought of her important to him. She had never really asked herself how much she meant to him until now; because he never really told her openly about his affections. But she had been satisfied, she had been happy. Hearing his words now- so sincere and pure and just heart-throbbing- it left tingles of butterflies roaming across her stomach. She was lost as what to think of him, a mixture of happiness and elation filling her to the core as she kept staring at that broad back she had learned to adore.

 This man, this man standing right there, loved her.

 

She thought this day would have never happened, for she was not an easy person to love and never had been. What with the rejection from her father and her friends, Soa had thought that there was a problem with her.

But he just said it, he loved her, and he wanted to get her sister’s blessing.

 

“You didn’t have to do that,” She finally got the courage to utter the words that had been hanging on her tongue.

 

The boy turned his head and looked at her. What she glimpsed in his eyes were nothing but pure tenderness and …was that…love?

It was so strong that she felt embarrassed and just by holding his gaze, therefore sliding her own to the ground and biting her lip impulsively.

 

“I wanted to” Was his simple reply.

Standing back on the balls of his feet, the boy turned to her and tugged her to him while his other arm wrapped around her waist. Holding her close, he pressed his nose to her cheek and inhaled her scent.

 

“What did your parents tell you?” he murmured softly, breathe caressing her skin and igniting flames of desire over her body.

 

“They unplugged Saerim’s life machine b-because she wouldn’t have made it a-a-and they didn’t have enough money” her voice trembled but she was fed up of crying, fed up of all the unnecessary buckets of water she couldn’t control. What happened to the once stone cold Soa that didn’t shed a tear for just anything? Annoyed by this, she took hold of her sleeve and rubbed her face in frustration, not taking notice of her flesh turning a vivid red color.

 

That did not appeal to J-Hope, who grabbed her hands with his fingers and pulled it away only to replace it with his own thumb sliding across her cheek, “Hey, Saerim wouldn’t have liked to see you sad. You have to live for her as well. Your parents may have lied to you, it may seem like the end of the world, but they love you. You should remember that”

 

“I know but…” She trailed off, the unspoken words lingering in the air like bees buzzing around a field of flowers. He sighed and squeezed her hand, “I know how you feel, I know. I’ve been through there, remember?”

 

Wordlessly, she nodded and he took it as a cue to go on.

 

“But you can’t blame your parents nor the Saerim who was deceiving you. They did it because they had a choice to make. If things were to be different, I’m sure none of this would have happened”

 

Soa said nothing still.

 

“So don’t be too hard on them, or Saerim for that matter. She may look like a , but I bet she’s just doing it out of loneliness” J-Hope pressed a kiss to the side of her head, his mouth lingering there for a few seconds before pulling away and cupping her cheeks, “Just put yourself in her shoes for a minute. Wouldn’t you react the same way?”

 

She bit her lip and thought about it for a while, drawing silence from the two individuals while the only sounds were the chirps of birds singing to each other and the whistle of the wind rustling through their ears.

then twitched upwards slowly, “Since when have you become so wise?”

 

Hoseok was glad that she was taking it so well and with a chuckle, bumped his forehead into hers lightly, “Since I’ve been born”

 

She rubbed at her cheek again, wiping the rest of tears with the back of her palm. Then, Soa looked up to meet his gaze and tried to render a smile, although she was pretty sure it resembled more of a grimace. “Don’t flatter yourself”

 

“Nah, I’m joking” as he started walking away, he pulled her along by the hand as he intertwined his fingers with hers, “Since I met you”

 

She looked at him for a minute, contemplated his statement and burst out laughing even when the circumstances just before weren’t deemed fit, “Who are you and what have you done to Jung Hoseok?”

 

“Aish” pressing his lips together, he just looked away in response, “I was only trying to make you laugh’

“Liar”

 

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

“So, it’s all over? Just like that?” Jungkook looked more than a little bewildered as he leaned back on the couch and stretched his long frame. Chohee sat at his side after having brought some hot chocolate for the group. They had assembled two days after Soa’s confrontation with her parents, and though it had taken some time to wheedle the answers out of the girl herself, they had gotten a very good idea about the main outline of this event. When Soa had first set eyes upon all figures waiting for her expectantly with happy, flushed faces at the prospect of seeing her after so long, she felt the warmth and affection seep through her heart. The faces glowing back at her brought on the nostalgia of their school days together and struck her as melancholic. Jimin and Taehyung did not hesitate to pounce over and engulf her in one of their double massive bear hugs. Squealing, it had resulted in Suga and Jin forcibly pulling both individuals away while Jungkook stole her for himself and protested that if any one of them dared approach, he’d knee them in the groin.

 

That did nothing to deter Namjoon, who rolled his eyes and clasped Soa’s arm before wrenching her to his body like she was a doll they could throw around, daring to pull out his tongue in the process. A tug of war had proceeded between the hyungs before she’d been rescued by no other than J-Hope. She was thankful for once, that he’d come and caged her in his arms so that escape was not available, even if his body was a little too close for comfort especially when all she could see was his jaw line and Adam’s apple, that seemed all the more tempting in the dim glow of the room. She felt as though she was Eve being tempted by the evil Apple that threatened to kill her.

 

Of course, all their banters stopped once Chohee entered the room accompanied by Hani whom they had discovered had ade a truce wit the former girl. This was all the more relieving as no sparks would fly about the room no more, and they were glad for that. Not to forget that Chohee was a martial arts master, someone that shouldn’t messed with. Granted, they were pretty aware of her strength and decided that if they wished to live and reproduce, they’d be better off leaving Soa alone for now.

 

“So all’s left is Saerim right?” Taehyung thought out loud after a long silence. This caused nods and soft resonation of yes’s throughout the room. “She wouldn’t dare pull another stunt like before”

 

“Well she better not” Chohee’s knuckles cracked when the girl hand’s clenched onto themselves, eyes hard and unforgiving, “Or I’ll kick her ”

 

“What Saerim needs is to be whipped back to that ing orphanage and become a ing nun” Suga drawled his sentence so lazily and cursing so languidly like it had formed part of his tone that it took some time for the group to realize the impact of his words. When Jin came to his senses, he reached over to whack the younger at the back of his head with a random rolled up magazine.

“Language” He chided. Suga proceeded to roll his eyes, “Seriously, I’m nineteen and I still can’t swear whenever I want to. No wonder I’m single”

 

“There’s a difference between being single and antisocial” Jin replied back.

 

“I’m not anti-social” Suga huffed in defense, cheeks bloating like a pufferfish.

 

“Oh yeah? Who’s the one who ran away as soon as I mentioned that Chaeryung was coming huh?”

 

“I was busy”

 

“Bull, you didn’t have classes”

 

“I have a life other than school” Suga snapped, vein pulsing dangerously at his forehead.

 

“You do not”

 

“I do”

“You so do not-“

 

“-GUYS” Namjoon interjected when he pulled both males apart by the shoulders, “Back to the main argument here. As much as Suga’s inexistent love life is a very interesting phenomenon, the focus of the problem is still on Haera and how we’re going to stop her from bullying the life out of Soa”

 

“I do too have a lovelife!” The pink-haired man grumbled softly.

 

“She has a weakness, and that weakness is definitely her jealousy, right?” Jimin suggested, “Maybe we should talk to her, think things out”

 

Namjoon’s brow rose, “You think she’s gonna listen to you after everything that’s been happening?”

 

Jimin shrugged back, “It doesn’t hurt to try, right?’

 

“What I think is important,” Hani quipped from her side and Soa almost forgot that she was there in the room as well. She had to admit that during those few weeks, she did not feel the slightest resentment towards Hani, and had finally brushed off all the things she’d done because forgiving was a sign to move on, and Soa was more mature than just keeping a simple grudge when more important matters were at hand. “Is that Soa should be safe first. We don’t want another Jongin taking advantage of her like that”

 

“Well, what do you suggest? That we keep her in a Jam jar or something?” was Suga’s sarcastic comeback. Clearly he was still fuming from the attack on his pride earlier on.

 

“Chill your , bro” Jungkook chucked a pillow at him, which resulted in a glare from Suga’s side. Jin once more hit the youngest boy with his rolled-up magazine while muttering a soft ‘kids these days’ and saying out loud, “LANGUAGE, Mr Jeon”

 

“I’m a major, what you hitting me for?”

 

Chohee just twisted her boyfriend’s ears which rendered him a squealing mess of protests, “Don’t mind him”

 

“Ouch ouch ouch yah woman! That freakin’ hurts!”

 

Soa smiled despite herself. Trust these goods to make everything better just with their banal bantering and endless teasings that would never cease. It was amazing how just this small circle of people could help boost her mood from a negative one to the opposite side of the spectrum. She was lucky to have them, and the happiness must have shown on her face for Hoseok leaned down and pecked her quickly on the cheek when no one was looking.

 

“What was that for?” she asked curiously.

 

He shrugged and looked away, not daring to look at her in the eye, “Just because”

 

Yup. She really was lucky.

 

---

 

I know what you guys are going to say, I know it's been ETERNITY ever since I updated and OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY I APOLOGISE THERE ARE NO EXCUSES JUST THAT I HVAE MOCK EXAMS COMING UP NAD I CAN'T AFFORD TO FAIL THEM OR TO BE DISTRACTED WTIH MY STUDIES I'M SO SO SO SORRY T.T. I ust hope that this update makes up for it cause it's like super duper long ;) 4000 words to be exact :D Hope you guys like it, although there's not so much Hobisoa or Namni to be honest, but DO NOT WORRY NAMNI IS GOING TO ..... COUGHCOUGH SUSPENSE XD I thank all of you who are reading this, I'm so thankful that you guys are liking it and loving the story AND it's chracters, I love you all! MUAH! xx