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It was during the big winter holidays that Soa’s family decided to give her a little visit. She hadn’t even been aware of it nor had they called for weeks now, and suddenly they had debarked onto her doorstep with big smiles on their faces.

 

That day, without knowing anything, Soa had invited the gang over. Unfortunately the other BTS members had chores to run, so only Jungkook, Chohee and Hoseok were around. She had felt bad for not inviting Hani, but then was reminded how the latter had turned her life upside down and was she crazy to invite the that had the hots for her boyfriend? Chohee had screamed her head off and Soa had backed down eventually while seeing reason. She still hadn’t brought up the subject with her boyfriend, and maybe she should while things were still going good and easy, because no one might know when bad things will start happening especially since they were both so stubborn in nature. 

 

Jungkook and Chohee had been playing Mario Kart with the younger boy’s console that he had brought over while Soa was sitting on the couch reading a book with Hoseok’s head plopped into her lap. He was trying hard to distract her from her yellow pages and instead whined about how he never had her attention. 

 

Soa was so immersed in her book, her favorite part coming up when a head suddenly plopped up between the two, “Soa” 

She sighed in exasperation, “What now?” 

“I’m bored” He blew out a raspberry. “Play with me” 

“I’m busy” Without further ado, the boy watched forlornly as he failed to grasp his girlfriend’s attention. An idea suddenly popped into his head and he bent down to blow onto her tummy, causing the girl to squeak in surprise. “What the- AHAHAH STOP! It tickles!” 

 

“Hoseok!” she cried before hitting his head with the book, “Stop it! I’m trying to read!” 

He bit lightly onto her arm in response, a grin forming on his face. 

“Yah!” She gasped as she tried hard to muffle her laughter. Chohee could only roll her eyes in response before Jungkook grabbed onto her head and kissed it, watching her own two cheeks turn bright red, “Stare at me instead” He winked. 

 

Ding dong! 

 

They all looked at each other before Soa sighed and got up “I’ll go look” 

 

She got the shock of her life upon meeting face to face with her mother. 

 

“Hi honey!” Her mom flew over and almost knocked her over as her arms twined around Soa’s body. The latter blinked in surprise before hesitantly hugging back the older woman “O-Omma? What are you doing here?” 

“I came to visit you, what a stupid question!” Mrs Kang retreated with shining eyes, upturned into a smile. All her friends jumped up from the couch the moment Soa had pronounced the ‘omma’ word, and they bowed now to her politely, saying together in a chorus “Annyeonghaseyo Mrs Kang” 

 

“My my, you’ve got such polite friends” her mother giggled lightly like a small girl as they each introduced themselves. “Here, Saerim darling bring the food in! Good thing I brought a lot for you guys!” 

 

Soa turned to the door in shock and saw her younger sister juggling the food “Saerim came as well?” 

“Hi eonnie!” The said girl flashed a grin. Soa forced herself to smile back although she was sure it looked more like a grimace. She helped her sibling to put the things on the table and Mrs Kang took no time in inspecting her flat like the clean freak she was. Meanwhile, Chohee and Jungkook were busy setting the table while Hoseok was pulling out and setting the food items. 

 

“Yah Jungkook, the napkin goes to your right” Chohee exclaimed with apprehension. The boy pulled out his tongue “No it goes to your left” 

 

“What would you know about table manners, huh?” She retorted, placing a fork on the table. 

 

He raised a brow at her, “What do you know?” He implied then sniggered, ducking away when she hit him playfully with a napkin. “Yah! Hahaha ouch woman that hurts!” 

 

“Wimp” Chohee muttered under her breath when he grabbed her around the waist and tickled her, breathing into her ear “What did you call me?” 

 

Soa had to smile fondly. It wasn’t everyday that the flat was as lively as this. Having those particular individuals around just made her day brighter. She got snapped out of her daze however when he mother called from her bedroom. 

 

“Yah Kang Soa! What is this mess?! This is horrible!” Her mother wrinkled her nose upon inspecting every corner and kicking some clothes aside. “I thought I taught you better than this” 

 

“Omma~” Soa whined while rolling her eyes “I don’t have time” 

 

“Oh my god, I should totally put an order in these things” Mrs Kang then noticed the photo on her nightstand and softened. “Look Saerm. It’s you” 

 

“Haaa Eonnie, I didn’t know you were so soft” Her younger sibling turned to Soa with a wink “So you do love me” 

 

“That’s not a question to ask” huffed Soa, shoving her hands inside the pockets of her sweater and rocking back and forth on her heels awkwardly. She still hadn’t recovered from the fact that it was still her sister. She felt like a complete stranger, someone that she just met recently. She even knew Chohee better than she knew Saerim. 

The awkwardness was just too much to take; it was a blanket of rigidity making Soa unable to breathe. Everything was just too forced, too mechanical, just too tense and formal. She hated it. But what was she to do? She was the one that had run away, so she was the one that had to endure it. 

She noticed that her father wasn’t around. So he hadn’t come, a deep part of herself was aware that her father was disappointed in her, because she hadn’t grown up how he had made her out to be. Maybe it was the coma that had changed everything, but she couldn’t even recognize her own father. The only aspect of home that still felt like where she belonged was in her mother’s arms. Her mother was her only pillar of su[port even when she had nothing, no one to lean on. 

 

“Lunch is ready” Hoseok’s murmur into her hair startled her, and scowling she threw him a pointed dirty look. He just smiled innocently in response and turned away to the dining table. 

 

It would’ve been more than awkward if her friends hadn’t been there, and somehow she was grateful right now for their presence. 

 

“So, Mrs Kang. Care to tell us any embarrassing stories about Soa?” Jungkook sniggered, wincing when Chohee slapped his arm. 

“Oh there’s so much to tell. Let’s see…how about the time where she peed in her pants during a play recital?” Mrs Kang smiled in affection towards Soa who only groaned in embarrassment “Not that, omma” 

 

“She had five years old then…’Soa dismissed her mother’s blabberings about her popular embarrassing moments that had marked her life because something had caught her attention. Something not quite right. 

 

“Are you and Soa friends?” Saerim was asking J-Hope while tracing her finger over her cutlery, batting her eyelashes in a very feminine way. But then again, Saerim had always been a bit too feminine for Soa’s taste. 

“Yeah” He nodded. 

 

“Ahh, do you dance? You seem like a dancer” Saerim giggled lightly, the sound appealing to everyone’s ears but Soa’s. She thought that it sounded like a cat being run over by a truck. 

Hoseok was taken aback “How did you know?” 

 

“I don’t know you seem to have the body of a dancer, your movements are very fluid as well” Her younger sibling tossed a bunch of hair off one shoulder “I mean, I’m a dancer myself so I guess it’s only natural” 

 

“What do you dance?” 

 

“Ballet. Unfortunately, I still have to do one final exam before getting my certificate” 

 

Hoseok grinned, “That’s great, only one year to go” 

 

They were talking like they had been long lost friends that were reunited once again. Why couldn’t she be as open or as cheeky like Saerim? No wonder the latter gained friends in such a short amount of time. She knew how to charm people, rolled them over the right way with her words so that they felt right at ease. It didn’t help that she was beautiful as well. Today especially she had wore a matching dress that seemed to ooze with a grace that could only be found in actresses in kdramas. It wasn’t fair; Soa thought while gripping so hard onto her chopsticks her knuckles turned white. 

 

It continued this way until the end of lunch, and it was only then that she realized she hadn’t taken one single bite from the food. The jealousy swimming at the pit of her stomach was boiling, churning, about to spring upwards and lash out at the culprit standing right across from her. 

 

It was impossible. Saerim was indeed interested in J-Hope by the way she kept looking up at him and smiling brightly like Christmas had come early this year. The worst part was that the boy wasn’t doing anything to push her away. Instead he just grinned and smiled and laughed along happily. He had never been at ease around her, he had never even smiled that much around Soa, so why? 

Her heart trembled at the thought, was she going to lose him to her sister as well? 

 

But Hoseok was not even aware of the situation between her and her sister, he thought that everything was just dandy and full of rainbows, she did not have a chance to tell him about it and had too much pride to actually tell him about her problems. 

“Well, it was so nice seeing you Soa. But I do hope you clean that room up” Mrs Kang batted her hand in a fluttering motion, “How can a girl live that way? I would’ve understood more if it was a boy but come on” 

 

“Omma leave me alone” Soa snapped, at the end of her tether. Her temper was running thin and had been on the verge to burst all day seeing her man and her younger sibling hanging out together. She would’ve murdered someone if she could’ve and right now was aiming her eye threats at Saerim. 

 

“Oh so stingy! Anyway good-bye Soa! Take good care of yourself arraso?!” Her mother kissed her cheek lightly, practically kissing air before pulling back. 

 

“Annyeong eonnie” Saerim grinned and she wanted to punch the latter for appearing so innocent and cute. 

Instead, she gritted her teeth together and clawed “Annyeong Saerim-ah” 

 

She waited with baited breath until the door swung shut, then stomped to her room before banging her door closed. Hoseok and Jungkook both jumped at the sudden noise and looked at each other with confused looks on their faces. 

“Is she PMS-ing?” The maknae asked innocently while scratching the back of his head. 

The older boy sighed and ruffled his hair, “I’ll go check up on her. Where’s Chohee?” 

Jungkook pointed downwards “Taking out the trash” 

 

J-Hope wasn’t even sure of the reason as to why Soa was angry about, but whatever it was it had to concern her family. He wondered about them and thought how she had never really talked about her family before. She always put up a barrier, a strong wall that he could not cross no matter how much he tried venturing out. Every time he did hit a soft spot, she’d close in on herself and avoid the topic. 

It was frustrating, true. 

But not impossible. 

 

Slowly, like he was treading into the dragon’s lair, he pushed open the door and caught sight of the girl lying face down onto her bed while burrowing her face into her pillow.

“Soa?” He took a step closer, “What’s wro-“ 

 

“I hate you” she cut him off with a mumble. It was a jumble of words but not if he listened closely.

 He in a breath and a frown etched over his eyebrows. Confusion jumbled up his thoughts, “What?” 

 

“Go away. You’re impossible” 

 

The frown on his face only deepened, “I don’t-“ 

 

“You don’t get it?” she suddenly looked up, and instead of seeing her tears like he’d been expecting, his eyes landed on her own, her brown irises glistening with a fire that burned within, like a calm before a storm. They weren’t like maroon like usual when she was in her normal state; they were cloudy, misty with a silent terror that freaked him the hell out. But he was confused, what exactly had he done this time? Had he humiliated her in front of her mother? He hadn’t done anything of the sort; he knew it because he was so nervous during the lunch it was impossible for him to make a mistake. He had been on his best behavior. 

 

Her laughter rang inside the room, more of a mockery as her eyes glittered dangerously in the dim light of the room “I don’t either.” She sneered, “It’s disgusting seeing you flirting with my sister”

 

“What? That’s bull, Soa” Hoseok half-snorted, “why would I ever flirt with your sister?” 

 

“Because it’s her trap!” Her eyes flashed dangerously once again, like lightning “Because everything she wants, she gets and steals it away from me!” 

 

“I-“ 

 

“No, you listen to me” Her voice reduced into a hiss and that scared him more than her crying or screaming ever would. Her face was contorted with rage and the look in her eyes screamed with something much more than pain. “All my life I’ve been trying to be the girl my family wants me to be. All my life I’ve been shunned and neglected because I wasn’t pretty enough, wasn’t smart enough or wasn’t feminine enough. My sister is the opposite, she is the perfect little doll that is the perfect gift for a man” Her shoulder suddenly sagged, the energy seeped out of her “and now, just when I found someone that thought of me better than anyone else, she has to just barge in and take him away as well!” 

 

“And the worst is that you’re falling into her ing trap and I hate it!” She couldn’t care whether she was acting like a major brat. The thing was, all her life she had been trying to live up to her parent’s expectations, had always received the blows without saying anything, had always been projected with foul accusations. She had never been the best daughter, and never will be. But now, the final seam of her temper was gone, she’d held onto that fake string of hope long enough. Her temper had to burst now, and she was sorry it was happening when Hoseok was around. The last thing she wished was for him to see her like this, in this state, but just too bad. 

 

“Who do you think I am?” 

 

It came out of Hoseok’s mouth darker and more like a hiss. His eyes narrowed into dangerous slits and his hands unknowingly curled into fists at his sides. She said nothing, staring into faraway with the same look of betrayal and desperation in her eyes. He had never seen her so broken and vulnerable before and part of him wanted to swoop down and hug her to his chest while telling her that everything was going to be okay. 

 

“Do you think of me as someone that would betray you? Do you see me as untrustworthy?! Huh?!” a flash of pain darted through his orbs.

 

He took a step towards her and closed the distance between their bodies as the girl stood up to meet his gaze head on; two bulls fighting against each other and standing their own ground. 

“You don’t trust me?” He finally growled. 

 

“I do” was her witty reply, and he blinked in shock. 

She did? 

 

“But I don’t trust Saerim” she spat out like venom “I wouldn’t trust her with my life” 

 

About to turn onto her heel and walk away from her room, the boy decided that he hadn’t finished with her and clasped his hand onto her arm before banging her against the wall, trapping her beneath his arms as he forced his lips onto hers in a heated kiss. He’d hoped that it would’ve stopped and weakened Soa’s will to fight against him, but not this time. She kicked at his shin and tried to push him away. Clamping her hands onto the wall beside her head with his own, he kept kissing her aggressively, biting her lip so hard it bruised. 

 

Soa threw his arms off her “You jerk! Bastard! I hate you!” 

 

And before he knew it, she was out of the door in a flash and out of the flat. 

Her eyes that held mistrust and desperate pain were enough to make the boy drop to his knees. 

What had he done? 

 

 

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Chohee sighed upon dumping the trash out near the bins. The night was cold and clammy, making her insides quiver and the hairs on her arms to stand on end. The darkness that enveloped the streets didn’t seem all that welcoming either, and with a last glance back at the darkened street, she hurried through the halls. 

 

Her feet were up on the first stair when she heard someone speak. Someone awfully familiar, like she had heard that voice the whole day. 

It certainly wasn’t her problem, she thought to herself, their family was their family and Chohee wasn’t meant to pry into Soa’s family affairs. 

 

But then she retracted her steps. She was just so curious! 

 

“No, Soa doesn’t know of anything” 

It was her little sister. Saerim or whatever. Chohee knew there was something odd going on with her ever since the younger girl’s attention had been clamped onto J-Hope from the beginning of lunch. 

 

“I’ll never tell her, are you crazy? The truth’s already buried. She’ll never know either because omma and appa are too scared” 

 

What was she talking about? Tell Soa what? Was there something that the girl didn’t know about herself or her family? And what did it mean that both her parents were too scared? Scared of what? All the jumble of thoughts kept tumbling across Chohee’s mind, and she bit her lip. She shouldn’t be here listening to this conversation, but she knew that she had to tell Soa. Something weird was going on and it wasn’t fair that the girl seemed so oblivious to it all. 

 

She was thrown out of her thoughts the moment Saerim’s footsteps echoed away, and taking a deep breath filled with relief – because the younger girl hadn’t spotted her- she decided to go up and tell her friend about it when suddenly she caught sight of the said girl tumbling down the stairs in fury, her eyebrows drawn together as she ignored Chohee and stomped towards the exit without even a coat across her shoulders. 

“Hey Soa, Soa wait up! What’s wrong with you-“ 

And she was gone. 

 

Chohee turned in surprise only to see Jungkook all breathless at the top of the stairs “I tried to stop her” he murmured while pushing back his hair “they had a fight” 

 

The girl sighed in annoyance, shoulders slumping “Not again!”

 

 

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Helloooo there!