Oblivious feelings…
The Mafia Hater is a Mafia
Chapter 32
Oblivious feelings…
Jaejoong is in his room laying on his bed while you were outside his room contemplating on something, *I really need to tell oppa about me… about my family… but should I still tell him… I might lose him… but I can’t lie to him anymore… * You inhaled deeply for the last time before you knock, *This is it!*. You heard a faint “Come in” sound before you entered, “Oppa…” Jaejoong looked at you and gave you a faint smile, “Hey babe, come here and sit beside me.” Jaejoong said as he motioned you beside him. You sat beside him and took another breath, “Umm…. Oppa, I don’t want to hurt you by remembering your past but… I just wanted to ask you something. I just really wanted to know.” You said, “Oppa, Black Rose’s—“ you started but Jaejoong interrupted you, “Babe, not that… I don’t want to hear anything about them while I’m with you and I don’t want hearing their family name with your mouth.” Jaejoong said as he looked at you with sadness in his eyes. He sighed deeply as he looked into your eyes, “~~~~~, promise me you won’t say anything about Black Rose from now on.” Jaejoong said. You looked away from his intense gaze, “I…” you inhaled and bit your lip. You met Jaejoong’s eyes again, “Oppa, I just… I just really needed this now.” You said desperately. Jaejoong searched your eyes, “Babe, that’s not what I want to hear from you! What do you need from that family?!” Jaejoong asked tiredly. “Oppa, I don’t want to lie anymore…” You whispered as your eyes started to water. “What?! Why?! Is there something you’re hiding from me?!” Jaejoong asked in outrage. He stood up and punched the wall. You jumped as you look at Jaejoong. You stood up and touched Jaejoong’s arms, “Oppa you don’t understand! This guilt is killing me! Every hour, every minute, every second I’m with you, I can’t help but think how I should tell you this…. This past that is chasing after me!!!” you shouted as tears started falling down your cheeks. “Jaejoong looked away not wanting to see you cry. It hurt him to see you cry but you bringing up Black Rose is hurting him more. He doesn’t want you to be involved in something as dangerous as that family. “Oppa…” you called out. Jaejoong looked at you, you can’t help but feel afraid at his dark, piercing eyes that is penetrating in yours, “WHAT IS THIS PAST OF YOURS HAVE TO DO WITH THAT FAMILY?! WHAT?! ARE YOU INVOLVED IN THAT FAMILY?! ARE YOU A PART OF THAT FAMILY?! ARE YOU SERVING THAT BASTARD?!... or maybe… you’re the daughter and successor of that family…” Jaejoong said angrily as he whispered the last sentence. Your eyes widened as you heard him say that. Jaejoong sighed, “~~~~~~, I know you’re not part of that family… how could you be with them when I know that you’re just a simple girl with sweet and innocent attitude. If you’re part of that mafia then I would’ve known it already.” Jaejoong said as he wiped your tears. *But… oppa, I really am a part of that family…* you thought. You held Jaejoong’s hand (the one that is wiping your tears) and put it on his side. You shook your head as you looked at him with remorse, “What if I am REALLY a part of that family? What if I am REALLY the daughter of that guy? Are you gonna make me suffer? Or maybe… kill me?” You whispered with bitterness in your voice. “Are you saying that you’re really part of that family and that you are the successor of that guy?” Jaejoong asked with his eyes turning darker than ever. He looked away, and when he looked at you again, you saw him looking at you in disgust and anger, “Then I will make you suffer… and I’ll make sure that bastard will see you suffer. I’ll crush your every part of your body in front of him and make him suffer more than ever. I’ll make him feel how I felt when I suffered when he killed my parents. I’ll kill you bit by bit and make you regret that you’ve ever met me….” Jaejoong said with gritted teeth. You looked at Jaejoong with wide, scared eyes, “You’ll really do that to me?” You whispered. Jaejoong snapped out and looked at your scared self, “I—I—“ Jaejoong started but didn’t know what to say. “I won’t because I know you’re not part of them…” Jaejoong whispered stubbornly. *EVERYTHING is already in front of you… but why won’t you get it?!* You thought as you looked at Jaejoong in disbelief, “Please… please get out of this room..” Jaejoong whispered. You looked at Jaejoong one more time before leaving the room.
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Since then, the two of you became distant, well, mostly you. Jaejoong tried talking to you again but you refused to come near him. You even refuse to meet his gaze every time he looks at you.
One night, you are in the dining table drinking water and just staring blankly ahead when someone suddenly called you, “~~~~~…” Jaejoong called softly. You immediately looked away and stood up, “Umm… I am… already sleepy so I’ll go ahead.” You said as you started walking but Jaejoong held your arms, “Wait!” he called out, “Please, let’s have a talk…” Jaejoong said with pleading eyes. You looked at his eyes this time, and gave in, “fine…” you mumbled. Jaejoong smiled weakly as the both of you sat at the dining table. Both of you stayed silent for the first 5 minutes, “Umm…” you both said at the same time, “You go first…” Jaejoong urged, “Oh no, you go first…” You said back. Jaejoong sighed, “~~~~~, I know that I got overboard that night… but I hope you know that I trust you and that I know that you’re not part of… that family.” Jaejoong said. You looked at Jaejoong in disbelief, “But…” Jaejoong continued, “I don’t want to judge you… I don’t know anything about you… I don’t know whose your parents are, where you came from, when your birthday is… I just knew that I don’t know anything about you except that your ~~~~~…. The girl I love.” Jaejoong said. “Oppa… You know I love you too right?” You asked as Jaejoong nodded, “… and as much as I love you… I don’t want to hurt you…” you said. Jaejoong looked at you in disbelief, “~~~~~, you’re driving me crazy here, you know?! You talk so mysterious that I don’t even understand anymore!!!” Jaejoong shouted in frustration, “That’s the point… you don’t understand even though it’s already in front of you and that you’ve already known it!!! You kept denying it!!!” you shouted in frustration, “Seriously… I don’t understand…” Jaejoong whispered. “You’re so smart yet you don’t know…” You whispered as you stood up, “I don’t want to continue this anymore… I… I want to stay away from you… I don’t want to hurt you more than I’m hurting you now…” You said as you started walking but Jaejoong blocked you, “Are you saying you’re leaving me again?” Jaejoong asked as his eyes saddened. You didn’t say anything but just looked away, that made Jaejoong more anxious, “Babe, Please… Please don’t leave me again; I don’t know how I will live without you… You’re not hurting me… Please, stay with me” Jaejoong pleaded, “But oppa…You’ll be more hurt if you realize this…” you whispered, “I don’t care! I don’t want to know it! I don’t care if I don’t know it!!!” Jaejoong shouted as he hugged you tightly and you heard him sob on your shoulders. Tears started coming down your cheeks as you held Jaejoong’s arms and put it gently on his side, “You don’t know what you’re saying…” you said. Jaejoong shook his head, “I know what I’m saying!” Jaejoong said. “Do you really still want me to be with you?” You asked hopefully. Jaejoong eagerly nodded, “Yes! I won’t ask anything anymore just stay with me… but promise me you won’t say anything about that family ever again…” Jaejoong asked with pleading eyes. You looked at him a second longer before nodding; “Promise…” you said unsure of your answer. Jaejoong smiled and hugged you tightly.
Tears rapidly ran through your cheeks, * I hope I won’t regret staying by his side...I hope you won’t regret it oppa… I’m sure that when you knew the truth… you’ll hate me, but for now… I want to cherish the time I’m with you… * you thought.
*I’m happy as long as ~~~~~ is with me… I don’t care where she came from or who she is… all I want is her staying by my side and I’ll make sure that will happen…* Jaejoong thought.
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