=======

‘What a dinner.’ You heard Junmyeon say to Kyungsoo before shutting the bedroom door behind you. Closing your eyes and tightening your chest, you thought about Baekhyun’s look of betrayal, knowing it would haunt you. And his words would scare you for a long time after. You groaned, remembering your schedule - tomorrow you’d have to Baekhyun to singing practice. You groaned again and slid back down against the door, forehead resting on your knees while you thought about Jongin’s silence and Kyungsoos-

You stopped yourself and counted to ten, hoping the world would stop turning. You tried to ignore what you saw in Kyungsoo’s eyes…

Distracting yourself…a small memory seeped into your mind-

-Taemin’s warm smile from earlier that day; ‘Will I see you tomorrow?’ He asked, bright-eyed. ‘Tomorrow?’ You repeated, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear; ‘I have work. Baek, I mean; Baekhyun’s got training for his musical, so-

-‘After?’ Taemin pressed lightly with hope in his eyes.

‘After…’ You knew you were thinking of making scallops with Kyungsoo for dinner but…

You bit your lip; ‘I can re-arrange.’ You said, trying to kick the guilt back and worry about it later. Taemin’s happy smile made it exponentially easier to forget.  

‘Let’s try somewhere other than the roof.’ He said jumping off his makeshift seat with enthusiasm. He pointed out, over the ledge and beyond; ‘There’s a private restaurant in Nonhyeon, no one will see us, trust me.’-

-Taemin turned to you, his expression warmed by the second; ‘Let’s go to new places and make new memories.’

Taemin held out his hand toward you and you looked back at him with growing enthusiasm; ‘Just you and me.’ He said in a near-whisper-

-You opened your eyes, exiting the memory.

‘Just you and me.’

You turned your head towards the door and ruminated on those words:

Was there a way? To be just that?

You continued to stare at the door and what lay beyond-

Can I give them up?

Can I become someone new?

You lay your head back against the door. Unsure.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket. Feeling low, you picked it up and stared at the screen-

Taemin.

Taemin was calling.

Of course he would, you’d ignored his messages. Pursing your lips and reading yourself, you answered; ‘Hi, I’m sorry I didn’t answer-‘

‘-IS THIS A JOKE?’ -You almost dropped the phone.

Eyes wide, quickly, you pressed it back to your ear -‘IS THIS A JOKE TO YOU?’

Your eyes widened.

The adrenaline immediately began pumping through your system.

That voice. No, it wasn’t Taemin.

Every muscle in your body tensed as you immediately recognised who it was. But it was shocking…you’d almost never heard Jongin yell-

-‘YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?’

You flinched; ‘Taemin.’ His name came out of your mouth in a whisper. Immediately you stood up, holding the phone in one hand and-

-

‘What a dinner.’ Junmyeon sighed while Kyungsoo looked over the now empty dinner table.

‘I wonder where Jongin went.’ The leader pondered out loud; ‘If I were him, I’d probably have a few things to say to Taemin. I’d go right up to his door and-‘ Junmyeon paused, brows furrowed; ‘But, Jongin’s not like that, he wouldn’t do it.’ The leader mused. Kyungsoo remained silent by him.

‘He wouldn’t do it, right Kyungsoo?’ Junmyeon looked for reassurance, but Kyungsoo silently left for his room- Junmyeon rushed in front, stopping him; ‘-Wait. Jongin’s not going there, is he?’ The leader looked slightly distraught; he was banking on Kyungsoo waving this stupid idea away.

Kyungsoo looked at Junmyeon momentarily, and then proceeded to walk to his room in silence- ‘Jongin isn’t that stupid, right?? He’s not going to fight him or anything?? Wait, what if he does? What if he comes back with a broken nose-or worse??’ Junmyeon slapped his forehead in despair; ‘It won’t get to that.’ Kyungsoo stated; ‘How can you be so sure? Shouldn’t we call someone, to be safe-‘

-They didn’t hear your bedroom door open, but your alarmed presence caught Kyungsoo’s attention immediately: you made eye contact, and Kyungsoo reciprocated a knowing glance while Junmyeon continued to tug on his sleeve.

He moved to step forward- I’ll go with you.

-He was going to say it, but Kyungsoo halted.  

Your eyes disconnected and you turned, rushing to the front door, grabbing a jacket and leaving the door to automatically close shut behind you.

Junmyeon paused; ‘Wait, was that ____? Where’s she going?’ He asked worriedly. Kyungsoo blinked knowingly.  

‘Oh God…she isn’t going- Kyungsoo wait!’ Junmyeon remained confused and alarmed while Kyungsoo walked back to his room.

-------

This was going to be nothing, just a meeting to satisfy his curiosity at best.

That, Taemin was sure of.

And then it happened. The first meeting…the second date…and then the third.

Once again on that rooftop, you’d arrived first holding coffees you’d bought.

He noticed you staring; ‘What’s up with my face?’ Taemin asked, feigning amusement.

‘What?’ You responded startled, almost spilling your drink on your lap.

‘You keep staring at something.’ Taemin said curiously; ‘Is there something on my face?’

-‘N-NO!’ You said abruptly, quickly putting the drink to your side; ‘No it’s not that. I’m sorry if I’m staring, I didn’t mean to-

-‘No it’s fine. I don’t mind, people are always staring.’ He said truthfully, taking another sip of coffee to put you at ease; ‘I guess it’d be more unnatural if you weren’t staring.’ He sniffed at the ironic truth of his words while you smiled, distracted; ‘It’s just…I noticed it the first time we met.’ You said abashedly-

-‘Is it my nose?? I know my nose is big! Please don’t look at it!’ Taemin covered his face with a hand ‘-No no, you have a lovely face! It’s pretty, it’s so pretty I don’t really know where to look at most of the time.’ It was only after the words came out, did you realise you’d actually said them…out loud.

-‘WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY.’ You cleared your throat, feeling your cheeks redden- ‘It’s your smile.’

Taemin’s surprised expression spurred you on to talk faster; ‘It’s just, when you smile…it’s so infectious. But…’ You checked his expression, to see if you could say what you were thinking. Taemin leaned forward intently, and you continued-

‘…I can’t tell if it’s just to put me at ease or…’

Taemin tensed and you pursed your lips together;

‘I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything-‘

‘-Go on.’ Taemin uttered without thinking.

You flushed and stared at your cup momentarily; ‘It’s just because…well...your eyes.’ You hesitated once more, flashing a look back at him.

Taemin didn’t realise he’d moved in even closer, one leg crossed over the other, his body language was taut instead of his usual looseness you’d encountered.

‘What about my eyes?’ He almost whispered the words. It was disarming and raw. His smile disappeared, replaced with a look of scrutiny.  

You gulped but couldn’t look away- ‘Your eyes say something else.’

Silence.

It was only tension that built up while he stared at you intensely. You didn’t blink-

-‘Your eyes don’t match that smile. So…I guess…I can’t stop staring because I want to know-‘

Questioning eyes bore into him. Taemin held his breath.

Unintentionally, narrowing the gap between you, you asked;

‘-How can someone with such a smile…hold so much sadness?’

He didn’t blink. His lips loosened in shock.

You leaned in even closer…‘Why are you sad Taemin?’ You said gently.

Taemin stared back into your eyes…and moved closer-

‘What’s your story?’ You whispered as if someone else was listening.

‘What’s yours?’ Taemin asked right back, a knee-jerk reaction.

Those eyes-

-They’d seen right through him almost instantly.

His breath had come back to him, but his heartrate soared. Adrenaline pumped through his veins, realising what it was he was feeling.

He stared back at you-One daring the other, at a standstill.

It felt like ecstasy.  

You’d left to take care of Sehun before he could know more.

But deep down Taemin knew

…he’d tell you everything.

And gladly too.

------

There was a reason why Jongin was here – maybe it was to congratulate him. Perhaps they could eat chicken together and enjoy the night.

Taemin moved to the door; phone in one hand and opening the door with the other, a welcoming smile on his face;

‘Jongin-‘

-Immediately, two hands gripped him by the collar.

Taemin stumbled back and slammed against the wall, winding him almost completely.  

His phone dropped to the floor with a clunk but neither party noticed-

-‘IS THIS A JOKE?’ Jongin growled, face close and expression fuming.

Taemin was stunned. He was left gripping Jongin’s hands in an attempt to release him. But Jongin remained, restraining his friend tightly against the wall of his apartment; ‘I said, IS THIS A JOKE TO YOU?’ Jongin yelled again. The door behind them locked automatically.

-‘YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?’ Jongin pressed Taemin harder against the wall, nostrils flared.

He was breathing heavily, and an air of perspiration hovered around Jongin, Taemin noticed; ‘You ran here?’ It was both a statement and a question.

‘Answer the question.’ Jongin hissed, fury in his tone.

‘She told you?’ Taemin tried to speak.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ Jongin snarled.

‘I only asked her today-‘

‘-That’s not what I meant.’ Jongin’s grip tightened.

Taemin dropped his hands, letting his friend exert his anger; ‘I didn’t tell you, because I thought it would go nowhere.’ He continued; ‘But it did. I’m just as shocked as you are.’

Jongin absorbed those words; ‘But…why her?’ His expression bewildered.  

Taemin looked back at his friend and saw something in Jongin’s eyes that he wished he could have unseen-

-‘Why does it matter if it’s her?’ He asked, surveying Jongin’s avoidant look.

‘She’s my manager Taemin-‘

-‘And you ran all this way for just a manager?’ Taemin prodded, watching the beads of sweat trickle down Jongin’s forehead, listening to his evident breathlessness while he tried to keep steady. Jongin loosened his grip ever so slightly, disarmed.  

‘She’s not just a manager. She’s…my friend.’ Jongin mumbled.

‘I hope you’ll run this far for me one day.’ Taemin jabbed, Jongin ignored his joke.

‘I’m not pranking anyone. This wasn’t a joke or a bet.’ Taemin said seriously; ‘And to be honest, there’s a lot more of a chance she’ll end up hurting me.’ Jongin didn’t ask him what he meant.

‘She cares about you a lot.’ Taemin whispered; ‘All of you.’ He jutted his chin out to the door and beyond. ‘So, she wanted to be the one to tell you.’

Jongin stiffened. Those words changed him. His anger melted in an instant…coming to the realisation of who exactly he was talking about.

You.

This was you.

The girl who cared about him.

The girl who cared.

He cringed, remembering the tears that flooded your eyes…that pained expression…

In an instant, Jongin released Taemin, falling backward until his back reached the opposite wall.

In his anger, he’d left you feeling hurt…all because he was-

-the electronic doorbell rang followed by a few aggressive knocks.

Jongin jolted.

Had someone come to get him? Was it Baekhyun? Had he also come to fight-

-‘Delivery.’ Taemin stated, readjusting his shirt and hair; ‘Do you want to stay for dinner?’ He asked with an evening tone.

Jongin didn’t answer, feeling unsettled he remained in place even while Taemin