====

You’d fallen asleep before him.

Taemin watched you silently and the corner of his lips lifted while he watched you; your body entangled in the sheets with one leg out and one leg in; a deep breath emitting from the back of your throat.

Your expression looked taxed. Even in the deep dark, he could see how your brows creased together.

Taemin could guess what you dreamed of, but ignored the sneaking suspicion, nonetheless.

Shifting his body, he moved to fall asleep with you in his arms, but something clunked against his hand-

-Gently, he pulled out the cold metal that was your phone. Swiftly shifting it and leaning over you, Taemin gently tried to place it on the bedside table, but he must have accidently pressed a button on the side as the bright light that erupted from your screen nearly burned his retinas. Taemin blinked tightly, letting his eyes adjust to the phone that now dangled between his fingers. He didn’t mean to look, but the colourful screensaver caught his attention.  

It was nothing offensive; just a selfie of you with the others. He tried to look away but was entranced by trying to work out the context; Do Kyungsoo, the one with the large eyes and dark brows stood by your side, smiling smally and looking up at the camera. Jongin stood beside Kyungsoo and smiled up at the camera, fitting in as best as he could while Byun Baekhyun stood on your other side with his mouth open, mid-sentence. Sehun, the Maknae looked caught off-guard right behind you, and the tall one with the bright smile; Chanyeol – he’d bent down to fit into the picture. Suho-no, Junmyeon, seemed to look concerned yet happy in the corner of the picture, right under Chanyeol’s arm.

Taemin absorbed it.

And tried to take in the warm picture that was also a warm memory for you.

A moment captured from a world where he didn’t exist.

He looked at you momentarily and tried to untangle the despair that formed in his stomach.  

It was your world.

Little by little he was seeing it; you lived two lives.

One where you were his and…one where you were-

-You turned your head and Taemin pondered for a second if you had woken up – but no, the snore that rustled out from the back of your throat signalled deep unconsciousness.  

He wanted to touch your face, to slide the tip of his finger along your lips and your cheeks…

It was hard to ignore it; the looks exchanged between you and Jongin. He’d tried so hard to move away- to pretend like it didn’t exist…

Yes. There was a bubble where you and they existed, but-

Your lips slightly parted as a breath flooded out. Taemin held his, silently watching you.  

Regardless of anything. There was one fact; one undisputable fact that should end this conflict within him and that was…ultimately-

You chose him.

Laying, sleeping in his bed right now – you had made that choice.

And right now, you both existed in a place where no one else could enter…making memories no one else could tamper.

Taemin loosed a breath and surveyed your troubled expression while you slept and tried hard not to think about it. Gently, he brushed strands of hair away from your resting face.  

He could remember it even now; the feel of your bare skin…your thighs and the way you pulsed and throbbed under his fingers-

-Stop.

It took a moment or two to calm down.

Then, he placed the phone on the table and settled back into position. Laying his head on the pillow, Taemin embraced you closely. You must have been exhausted, for you didn’t stir. Each time he held you…every time he breathed you in…the knot in his stomach loosened a little more. Your scent seemed to be the only remedy.

He nuzzled into you and inhaled some more.

Sleep found him soon enough.

=====

You gripped the steering wheel tightly. It hadn’t been that long since you were allowed to, or more-like, told by the company to drive the boys when Manager Kim wasn’t available. It was fine, you had a license back in the UK. But what was hard, the real task was simply trying to keep your thoughts on the road instead of the three boys in the back of the van; Baekhyun sat looking furious, Junmyeon seemed anxious and Kyungsoo looked…like Kyungsoo. You were heartily ignoring one, apologetically looking at another and could hardly look at the other.

Baekhyun remained perplexed, furiously typing on his phone from the moment he got into the van until the moment you reached Headquarters.

Taemin had offered to drive you himself, but you knew his presence, especially around Baekhyun at this time, would be far too testing. He’d even offered to make you breakfast- but there wasn’t time; you were already 10 minutes behind schedule and there was barely enough time to kiss him goodbye.

He’d asked if you were going to be in trouble with the boys, if he should take the blame or speak to Junmyeon, but; you knew it would be better if you yourself smoothed things over with them.  

By the time you’d arrived at the dorms; Junmyeon had just finished breakfast while Baekhyun was in the middle of his-

‘_____! Oh you’re ok!’ Junmyeon exclaimed, holding his cup and bowl with both hands; ‘We’re running late but you know what Baekhyun’s like-‘

-Baekhyun grunted in protest, looking angrily towards both Junmyeon and you. You were halfway past him, heading to your room down the corridor until Baehyun grumbled something-

-‘Remembered we exist?’ His mouth was full of food as you stopped and turned to him with tightening fists.

Guilt and anger.

It was simply guilt and and anger, but that didn’t stop you; ‘You have something to say?’ You replied curtly. Junmyeon lifted his hands in warning to both of you, but Baekhyun ignored him; ‘We could have just taken a taxi.’  

-‘Yah, don’t be like that, it’s early in the morning.’ Junmyeon protested. ‘You can take a taxi if it bothers you so much.’ It was a snappy response that you didn’t mean. Your cheeks flushed while Baekhyun’s ears began to redden-

‘Yah.’ Junmyeon turned to you as if betrayed- Baekhyun interjected; -‘Did your boyfriend drop you off here? Why didn’t you just let him take you to work in his car-‘

‘-Stop.’

All three of you turned your heads-

Kyungsoo

He stood right beside you, fully dressed and waiting. You’d forgotten you were standing outside both his and Jongin’s shared room.

‘Are you really going to keep being stupid forever?’ Kyungsoo scolded Baekhyun with a voice so full of frustration and disappointment, it also rendered you mute.

‘Yah I’m older than you-‘

‘-Then act like it.’ Kyungsoo cut him off with so little effort, Baekhyun glared but stilled; ‘Whatever.’ He clicked his tongue and continued to eat his rice. Junmyeon’s shoulders dropped in relief as he cast Kyungsoo a grateful look before heading to the door.  

You were staring. Staring at Kyungsoo who only flashed a look back at you before checking his trouser pocket, presumably for his phone; ‘Did you eat?’ He murmured. You almost didn’t realise he was talking to you; ‘Y-yes.’ You responded quickly and briskly shoving your hands into your jacket pockets- ‘We do need to go.’ Junmyeon tapped his phone before opening the door. Baekhyun quickly scooped as much food as he could into his mouth before getting up and heading for the door. Kyungsoo eyed him, but Baekhyun said nothing as he passed through the threshold, ears pink and a furious expression. You held in a sigh, desperately not wanting to make things worse…

-

You wished you hadn’t been awoken. Your phone alarm buzzed so loudly and angrily; it was a miracle you hadn’t smashed it into pieces already. Swiping the device off the bedside table, you noticed how oddly far away it was compared to normal-

-Something moaned.

In your room?

Opening your bleary eyes for a moment, you noticed the warm arm across your body-

-Taemin.

You looked at him again, feeling things snap into place – your consciousness as well as your cognitive function returned slowly while you looked around the room, totally forgetting where it was you had ended up. You shifted in Taemin’s large bed that sat in his large room in his large apartment.

It was absurd; you had no recollection of falling asleep, but the dream you had, seemed so vivid it had startled you; Kyungsoo was talking to you, and so was Baekhyun…Luhan even turned up lucidly. It felt as if you could touch them-

-Taemin stirred beside you. Both arms lay underneath his pillow; his face mashed into it before turning around. Even in a sleepy state he still looked wonderful.

Taemin.

Of course, you didn’t remember falling asleep, for you’d both been talking until the late hours of the night. Even in a sleepy state, he still looked wonderful. You wondered begrudgingly, what you must have looked like-

-‘Morning.’ He mumbled while you watched him for a second longer; ‘Mmm.’ You hummed back contentedly. It was hard to tear your eyes away from his face, to quickly flick through the notifications on your phone and hope that you hadn’t been fired while you were sleeping. ‘I was wondering…‘

‘Mm?’ You hummed again in question, trying to scan the messages and notifications as fast as you could; Missed calls from Junmyeon, a message from Jong Dae, another message from Luhan and one meme sent by Sehun-

…’So, do you know?’ Taemin looked at you expectantly, his arm propped up his head while his bangs sifted across his face. ‘Wait, sorry, what?’ You asked sheepishly putting your phone down. Taemin didn’t roll his eyes, instead, he smiled.  

‘I said-’ He leaned in closer, your knees remained close to your chest, your eyes meeting his stare. His inviting expression, the softness of his eyes had you all ears now; ‘-What ring size are you?’

You blinked; ‘Excuse me? Did I miss something?’ The words came out in a near-strangled mess- ‘It’s not what you think.’ Taemin tried to stifle a laugh, realising what it sounded like. Your worried expression eased a little; ‘I’m just curious since you have these on-‘

He lifted your left hand and gestured toward both rings you wore; one from Chanyeol and the other from Baekhyun, both distinct in shape and size yet equal in meaning. ‘Oh these? Well…’ How could you explain them honestly without…without-

-‘They didn’t tell me either. Chanyeol and Baekhyun that is. They just…got them…so I guess I’m average sized.’ You felt the blood rush to your cheeks but ignored the sensation. Taemin looked at the rings for a second longer before giving your hand back to you. It was hard to resist the urge to fiddle with the rings and twist them around your fingers. ‘Should I guess then?’ Taemin asked gently, but the sentiment suddenly didn’t match his eyes.

‘Guess what?’ You asked confusedly and Taemin chuckled; ‘Are any of them angry at you, or me?’ He tapped your phone. The lock screen lit up to reveal the group selfie that suddenly made you feel self-conscious. You grabbed the phone tightly; ‘I haven’t fully checked. Junmyeon won’t be mad, he’ll just be worried-‘

‘-Do you want to call him? I can go-‘

‘-No no don’t worry. I’ll talk to him when I get there.’ You replied reassuringly. It felt important…to reassure Taemin somehow.  He leant on one hand and pouted ponderingly; ‘Do you want me to take you? I have a schedule anyway. I can drive-‘

‘-No. I don’t think it’s…a good idea right now but, next time?’ Taemin considered your words and seemed to understand your meaning; ‘Well Let me at least make you breakfast.’ He responded merrily but you looked at him apprehensively; ‘I know how to cook. I don’t just live off fried chicken.’ He pouted, you smiled; ‘Well I guess I can have- NOPE!’ It only just hit you how little time you had to get ready. Taemin jittered in shock as you jumped out of bed; ‘NO. I am already late. Oh God! Where are my clothes.’ You hissed in desperation-

-‘You don’t need to wear what you wore yesterday. Just take what you want from the closet.’ Taemin replied loosely. You paused your search to look at him; ‘Really? No I can’t, I couldn’t-‘

-‘You can, and you will. It’ll be more obvious if you wear the same thing you wore yesterday.’ You tried not to look flushed by combing your hands through your hair and tying it up briskly; ‘Actually I think it’ll be more obvious if I come in wearing designer gear.’ You replied in exasperation. Taemin shook his head; ‘It’s not all designer in there. Well…not all obvious ones anyway-‘

He’d gotten up.

The duvet fell as he stood on his white rug on the tiled floor. You witnessed the leanness of his body as if you hadn’t seen it before. Well, you hadn’t really, since you were so busy-

His skin pulled tightly over his shoulders…his neck and collar bones looked so delicate, even more delicate than-

-You had to look away. Realising that small bruises bloomed along that delicate collar. Thankfully Taemin hadn’t noticed how you’d been rendered mute and continued to walk past you to the door. He opened in and invited you through, but his natural scent had your head spinning and you once again almost forgot why on earth you were choosing to leave this apartment. He smiled at you, about to ask why you’d gone silent while holding out a hand for you to take it. You shook your head while taking his hand, unable to think straight for another moment. Taemin led you to the walk-in-closet once again; ‘Here, here and here. You can even wear that to the schedule. No one will know…unless Kibum sees you.’ Taemin chuckled, and you really couldn’t tell if it was a joke or not. ‘Are you sure?’ You asked awkwardly; ‘If you want, you can return them…tonight.’ He said, closing the sock drawer behind him while turning to you.

You gulped.

‘Are you sure you’re not going to be sick of me hanging around here?’ You mumbled light-heartedly. ‘Maybe one day…but not now.’ He grinned as he leaned in for a split second to peck you. It was bait; a trap, just to test the waters. And you fell for it so easily, for you were the one who leaned in, tilted your head in a way that warranted another kiss from him. Taemin grinned, putting the pile of clothes to the side, dropping it onto whatever stack was beside him while he held your face in his hands and kissed you deeply. Tongue against tongue. Even if it was early in the morning, that heat never left you while kissing him back intensely- ‘Can I use your bathroom.’ You gasped, disconnecting the kiss. It only took the fear of losing your job and then some, to stop yourself from continuing. ‘What’s mine is yours.’ Taemin muttered, his lips were still drawn to you. Finally, tearing yourself away and with the self-control of a saint, you rushed to the bathroom, closing the door firmly shut behind you in tempered self-control.

-

-‘Give all the clothes you’ve stolen from Kibum back to him. Including this.’ You’d walked back into the bedroom with the folded pyjamas from last night and placed them on the bed. Taemin wasn’t there; ‘But it looks much better on you.’ He emerged into the bedroom holding a piece of toast, jam smeared on it, and coffee in a mug; ‘You have time for this, right?’ He asked hopefully. ‘Thank you.’ You took the piece of toast from him and took a big bite, trying not to wolf it down in one go; ‘I really have to go.’ You tried to say in between grateful bites and chews. ‘You didn’t have to do this and yes I do have to go- Mr Kim has an SM Rookie’s thing and Ms Park isn’t here. I’m the only one available.’ You walked and talked from the bedroom to the living room-

-‘Will I see you tonight?’ Taemin asked hopefully, trailing behind you with his hands in the pockets of trousers he now wore. You flushed; ‘If everything goes according to schedule then yes.’ You held your hand out and he took it as you squeezed tightly and shoved the last of the toast into your mouth, knowing you’d be embarrassed about eating so ravenously in front of him later. ‘I’ll book a place. No one will see and no one wil