Jong Kook arrived at his family home in a hopeless mood. It’s a tiring day, physically and mentally. It was more tiring since he has been keeping all his feelings within himself. He cannot believe the happiness that he enjoys had been strike with the news about Ji-hyo.

“Annyeonghaseyo! I’m home…..”

“Owh…my beloved son is finally back…” Jong Kook’s mom greeted him.

“N-neh! How are you, mom? I’ve missed you so much…” Jong Kook hugs his mom tightly and never let go.

“Owh..jinja??”

When Jong Kook did not release his mother for few minutes, his mother knew he’s down and sad.

“Gwaenchanh-a?”

Jong Kook keeps quiet for a minute, before answering in whispers, “No…….” Jong Kook may seem tough and manly in front of others but with his mom, he’s always being a spoilt man. He’s the youngest in the family, and he’s very close with his mom.

Jong Kook’s mom pat his back to calm him. “How is Ji-hyo doing?”

Jong Kook releases his mom and look at her in sadness. “I…don’t know…..She deserted me the moment she knew about the news.”

“Owh….She must be totally hurt…Just leave her alone for few days. Then try to contact her again. Sometimes people need space to think peacefully….”

“But……I’m hurt too, mom…..”

“You must be missing her so much yach?”

Jong Kook nodded.

“Relax, son. Don’t force it your way, or you’ll make her distance herself further. This is not a small matter. She must be shocked as well.”

“She’s devastated, and I can’t do anything to ease her pain…”

“Hurm….Jong Kook ah, I never thought my son could fall deeply in love like this. I’m sure she’s a special girl, if she can make you crazy about her like this…..”

“She is…….…she’s the women that I love, after you mom….”

“Oww…thank you darling…but I hate to see you like this…Please cheer up. Don’t let the situation take over your life.”

“I will, mom. Don’t worry…..Ermm, mom…You don’t mind with what’s happening to Ji-hyo? I mean, about her past?”

“Frankly…..nobody wants a daughter in law with huge scandal like this…but, nobody is perfect. I’ve met many girls that you introduce before this, but none of them gives the glitter on your face. You may not come back home for a long time, but I can see the happiness in your eyes every time you talk about her. Even in the magazines, in the news, I saw what she brings out of you. Then what else can I ask for, if she’s the happiness that you’ve been searching all this while?”

“Yeah…I really love her, mom…so much…” Jong Kook looks down while expressing his feelings.

“I know. That’s why I ask you to bring her home. But suddenly this thing happened. She will need time to get rid of all the rubbish stories, and you should give her that time for herself.”

“But I’m not used without her, especially after the vacations. We’ve been together all the time, and suddenly she distances herself, it makes me feel like she has been kidnap. It’s hard, mom.”

“Trust me, Jong Kook. This is a test for both of you. If you both can handle it, you’ll be much stronger later. Maybe it’s the best for both of you to have some gap, so that you’ll appreciate each other even more after this.”

Jong Kook listens carefully to her mom’s advice. Everything she said is true, but it’s hard to train himself to accept the situation between him and Ji-hyo right now.

After chatting for few minutes, Jong Kook rest in his room. Lying on his bed and looking at the ceiling, he already feels empty. (Ji-hyo ah, please open up to me…I wanna be with you in this harsh moments..please, love…let me protects you….)                  

While his mind wandering about Ji-hyo, he suddenly remember the video speech that they left on each other’s mobile phones. He quickly find the video and play it.

“Ehermm…eherm….Annyeonghaseyo, oppa….err…..I’m usually not good with giving speech, but because of you, I will try my best okay? Ermm….I wanna say million thanks for these sweet gift, sweet moments…actually no words could express my happiness with this vacation, my thankful to you. It feels like a dream to be in this beautiful island with you. So, thank you sooooooooooooo much…and…..I wanna share with you a secret…I am in love with this man, I’m crazy about him…but I think that’s because he is crazy, you know, something wrong with his mind…hehe…..I love him with every breath that I take, but I’m scared that one day he will leave me….what do you think, oppa? Will he leave me? Hurm…if he ever think about leaving me, I will seduce him as much as I can..hehehe, cute ah? Ermm….….Oppa, I love you so much…I hope you will be patient with me and accept the ugly me. I know sometimes I’m hard to handle, but I will try my best to be good to you. Today is our last day together, I don’t know if I can handle missing you too much. Will you miss me, Kim Jong Kook? You betta…lastly, I may not know how to show my love to you, but please believe me that I’m deeply in love with you. You’re my man, my hero, my Sparta, my kookie, my tiger balm, my everything…please handle me with care okay? Hahahah….but it’s true…coz my heart is too fragile like a glass..got it? Hurm..I love you! Mmmuahhhh!! Okay, take care love….I’m out now…….aish, missing you already…tata!”

Jong Kook smile and put the phone on his chest with his closed eyes. “Pabo! Of course I miss you…but you’re making things hard for us….”

Jong Kook tries his luck to call Ji-hyo but the line is not active. He needs to know the progress of Ji-hyo since he’s been separated from her few hours ago. There is no way he will call Baek Chang Joo after that man pissed him off. He then call Haha and ask about his girlfriend.

“Dong Hoon ah…how is she doing?”

“Owh, hyung…she’s too upset…her eyes were soggy…Byul said all she did was crying…”

“Did you tell her that I wanna see her?”

“No, hyung. I didn’t get to see her as well. But Byul has try to mention about you, but she’s too ashamed to see you.”

“Ahh….did Byul told her that I haven’t saw any pic of her? Maybe if….”

“She did….but Ji-hyo still doesn’t want to see you…”

Jong Kook sighed loudly till Haha can hear him.

“Hyung, I’m sorry…give her times to cool off..”

“That’s what everybody has been telling me…but from time to time I feel like she’s getting further away…how can I leave her when she don’t even wanna say a word to me?”

“Hyung, there’s nothing we can do…this is a big issue..”

“Dong Hoon ah, are you still at Chang Joo’s? Can you let me talk to her?”

“Sorry, hyung. We already left. And Chang Joo hyung is sending Ji-hyo to her family’s house. They want Ji-hyo to be with them until this issue has been solved.”

“Damn it! I really don’t know what she’s thinking right now.”

“Calm down, hyung. Maybe you can go to her family’s house. Who knows you can meet her there.”

“Yach…I think that’s what I can do for the time being….thanks, Dong Hoon ah…say thanks to Byul as well.”

“N-neh, hyung!”

Later during dinner, Jong Kook has been interviewed by his father about what’s the news is all about. As being known, his father is from military, therefore he’s quite serious and strict.

“Jong Kook ah, you know how big this issue is….I hope you won’t get involve with it.”

“What do you mean? Of course I’m involved. The girl they’ve been talking about is my girlfriend.”

“Then just break it off.”

“What???”

“You heard me. There’s no way I’m gonna approve that kind of girl to be part of our family. And remember. You didn’t only carry your name, but also our family name, our pride. Your mom is well known in business; I am in military and your brother is a doctor, all of us need to maintain our good name and reputation. Even you are a well known singers with good reputation. Don’t ruin it just because of one girl.”

“But Ji-hyo is not a bad girl. Yes, she made mistakes during her teenage years, but everybody make mistake.”

“But not everybody can do such mistake like her. What was she thinking when she agree to act in such scene?”

“You know what dad, I’m not gonna fight with you about this. Coz I see no point to explain my opinion. Excuse me. I’m full.”

Jong Kook gets up and left the dining room. He already has Ji-hyo to handle, and now he needs to deal with his father judgments on Ji-hyo. He feels like he’s gonna explode.

The next day is a shooting day for Running Man. Jong Kook look forward to meet his girlfriend and use this time to talk to her. But surprisingly, PD Jay makes an announcement that demotivates him.

“As everyone knows, Ji-hyo’s situation right now is quite serious. Since it is related to the government as well, Ji-hyo and those related with the movie will be called from time to time for interrogation and there is no way she can commit herself with our shows. She had asked to be rested until the matters being solved. Therefore our shooting will proceed as scheduled, without her, until further notice.”

Jong Kook tries his best to hide his frustration. Not even single members of Running Man try to talk to him about it. Everyone knows Ji-hyo had been avoiding Jong Kook and they don’t wanna upset Jong Kook even more. Yoo Jae-suk feels like he need to talk to Jong Kook but Haha advise him to leave Jong Kook alone.

After the second day of Running Man shooting, Jong Kook drives directly to Ji-hyo’s family home. He hopes that he can at least see Ji-hyo with his own eyes. Moreover, he already missed Ji-hyo badly although it has only been two days.

At Ji-hyo’s house, Ji-hyo had refused to eat which makes her family worried.

“Ji-hyo ah, we’ll be together to face this. Don’t keep it to yourself. We’re all with you, Ji-hyo,” Ji-hyo’s dad advises her.

“Seong-im, please eat something. Why are you punishing yourself with all this? No matter what you did, you can never return back to the past. All you can do is moving forward. And you’ve prove to us you can move forward and leave your dark past behind.”

“Umma, appa, I’m sorry for all this. I’m sorry to drag everyone into this. I’m sorry for making everyone worried. But I just want to be alone right now,” Ji-hyo said, sounds very weak.

Both Ji-hyo’s parents leave her alone in her room.

They both get the front door after hearing the doorbell. They are surprise to see Jong Kook standing in smile in front of them, although there is sadness in his eyes.

“Annyeonghaseyo, sir, mam!” Jong Kook greeted.

“Owh, Kim Jong Kook….what a surprise. Come in, please!” Ji-hyo’s dad offers him.

Once they settled down in the living room, Jong Kook starts his conversation.

“Errmm….I’m sorry to suddenly barged coming here. I know, Ji-hyo did not wanna see me at this moment. But I can’t help it sitting alone and keeps wondering her condition. That’s why I make a drastic action and coming here without even informing. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not. You’re always welcome here just like our family. And it’s true that Ji-hyo did not wanna see especially you. We have tried to talk to her, but all she did was crying every time we mention about you. She didn’t eat a thing since she comes home,” Ji-hyo’s dad explained.

“Sir, mam…..I really don’t understand why she’s shutting herself from me. I want to be by her side and go thru the hard time together…but she never gives me a chance to even say a word. She totally disperses after she was informed about her pictures.”

“Jong Kook ah…..have you saw the pictures?” 

“No! I decided not to….that’s what I’m trying to tell her. She doesn’t have to be ashamed with me because I never saw the pictures. But she shut me off just before I say anything.”

“Jong Kook ah, it was really kind of you, to keep on standing by her side after all this. Actually, let me tell you how she got involve with all this. It was our mistake as well, for not giving attention to her during her teenage years. Ji-hyo as you know, is a little bit like a tomboy sometimes. That’s because during her teenage years, she is a rebellious girl. During that time, me and Ji-hyo’s mom had been too busy with our work and focus on her sister. Therefore she always gets into trouble to get our attention. Until one day she gets an offer to do this movie. She never discuss it with us, until she completes the movie and gets the payment. She comes back crying to us, saying she had made huge mistakes. She explained about the movie and the intimate scene she had been involved. She also said her intention to be in the movie is just to get our attention. But she never realized that she’s been involved in a controversial movie. Since then, we both focus more on her. We were glad when the movie was totally banned. We thought at least Ji-hyo had learn from her mistakes, and she had grown up as a very intelligent woman after that. But now that someone had bring it up, of course she’s devastated. It was a terrible mistake that she made, but it brings our family closer. Jong Kook ah….I really hope you don’t put the blame on her….She’s too young at that time, she always make a decision base on emotion.”

Ji-hyo’s mother wipes her tears after hearing her husband explanations. She recalls back the hard years their family had been torn apart.

“Well, I do hope for explanation from Ji-hyo. But now that I hear it from you sir, I’m glad and thankful. At least I know the truth of her past.”

“Jong Kook ah….do you want to see her?” Ji-hyo’s mother asks him.

“Of course…of course I want to see her….but..”

“Can you ask her to eat? I’m worried looking at her weak face.”

“I’ll try….but I don’t think she wants to see me…”

“Just bring this food and go to her room.”

“Err….are you sure??”

“Yes! We trust you more than anybody else. We believe she’ll be happy to see you, although she may not show it.”

“N-neh! I’ll try my best.”

Jong Kook is happy that Ji-hyo’s parents allow him to see Ji-hyo, although she’s in her room. He’s also glad that they trust him a lot. At least they have made it easier for him, not like his own dad.

Jong Kook knocks the door to Ji-hyo’s room.

“Come in……”

Jong Kook opens the door slightly and saw Ji-hyo lying on the bed, with her back facing the door. Jong Kook enters slowly and places the tray on the coffee table near the bed. When Ji-hyo heard the sound of the tray, she thought her mother had brought the food again.

“Umma, I don’t have any appetite to eat…,” Ji-hyo said without looking back.

When Ji-hyo hears no feedback from her mom, she turns her head and surprised to see Jong Kook standing in her room.

“Omo! Oppa, what are you doing here?”

But Jong Kook did not answer and keep doing his work.

“Oppa….I’m asking you…what are you doing here? Why are you in my room?”

Jong Kook still ignores her and prepares the utensil to eat. Ji-hyo lost her patient and walks to Jong Kook. She grabs the utensil in Jong Kook’s hand and place it harshly on the table. She force Jong Kook to look at her and answer her.

“I’m asking you….Why are you here?”

Jong Kook avoids looking at her and keeps on doing his work.

“Kim Jong Kook!!!”

Jong Kook still in silent. Ji-hyo starts to hit Jong Kook’s chest really hard to make him speak.

“Why didn’t you answer me, hah? Answer me!!”

When Jong Kook still didn’t move, Ji-hyo hits him over and over and started to cry.

“Wae? Why are you behaving like this, oppa? Why are you ignoring me??”

“That’s what you want isn’t it? Ignoring me, and to be ignored…..You doesn’t want to see me, you don’t want to speak to me…you don’t even wanna hear me…so let’s pretend we don’t see each other. But I need to make sure that you eat this. Then I’ll leave,” Jong Kook speak with no emotion.

“I see…......Well you might as well leave now…I’ll finish the food, don’t worry.”

“Sorry, I don’t come on your order. I came for your parents.”

“Fine!! Then you stay,………..….I’ll leave!!”

Ji-hyo walk to the door but Jong Kook quickly grab her wrist and pull her making her spun into Jong Kook’s arm. Jong Kook hugs her tightly while Ji-hyo fights to release herself.

“Let me go!!”

“I miss you, pabo! Why are you being so stubborn ah??” Jong Kook said.

When Ji-hyo finally getting tired, she cries on Jong Kook’s chest.

“Wae? Wae? Why did you deserted me? Why didn’t you let me be with you?”

“Oppa…..…I’m hurt badly…….I’m really hurt………” Ji-hyo speaks in her sobs.

“Then why didn’t you let me be with you? I’ll do my everything to help you, to take care of you, to protects you……..but you choose to deal with this alone…..”

“I’m so weak, oppa….Why are they doing this to me?? I don’t think I can face anyone after this…”

“Ssyhhh!! You cannot be weak! Those people who wants to bring you down, they are doing everything to make you upset. So you need to stay strong and fight back. Or you’ll never be able to live normally anymore. Love, let’s deal with this together…please….let me be by your side….”

Ji-hyo did not answer but continue to sobs in Jong Kook’s arm.

“Let’s eat something. Your parents are too worried of your conditions.”

Ji-hyo agreed. Jong Kook starts to feed her with the food that her mom prepared.

“Good girl. I haven’t seen you for two days and now you’re this skinny. No wonder your mom was crying thinking about you. Will you promise me that you won’t make your parents worry anymore?”

Ji-hyo did not answer but staring blankly at the floor.

“Ji-hyo ah…it doesn’t have to be this way…why are you punishing yourself? Your parents have told me the stories of your past, about how you actually got involve with it. But I don’t blame you; I still wanna be with you. Please give us a chance.”

“…………………………Oppa……..did you saw…what’s written on the internet?? They said you’re too good for me………….your fans want you to leave me………even the MC fans doesn’t want me to be with Kang Gary anymore………how bad is that ah?”

Jong Kook keeps on feeding Ji-hyo while she speaks.

“They don’t know what exactly happened. They saw the pictures and they make judgment without your explanation. But once you explain, they will understand and forget everything and things will be normal again,” Jong Kook try to convince Ji-hyo. 

“What is there to explain, oppa? The person in the picture was me. It’s not a super imposed. I was in that kind of movie. What is there to explain? Should I deny it?”

“I never said you should deny it. But at least, if you said something to them, rather than sitting and hiding quietly, maybe it will get better a little bit. Everybody make mistake, Ji-hyo.”

“Huh…this is worse than any other mistake. Have you seen the picture, oppa?”

“A-ni! I choose not to look at it.”

“Exactly. You choose not to look at it, coz you know it is so bad. You know if you saw it, you won’t be able to face me anymore; you won’t be able to forgive me anymore. So now did you understand how I felt? Did you understand why I’m avoiding you?”

“Ji-hyo, please…..for once, try to understand what I’m saying. Right now, I don’t care whatever people said, whatever happens. The one and only person that I care is you. I want to be with you. So please let me stand by you. Let’s face this together.”

“Don’t you understand what I’m saying, oppa? The one and only person that I couldn’t face is you!!! Every time I look at you, it will remind me of all the words from your fans, all those words from the internet….”

Jong Kook couldn’t find a word to soothe his girlfriend anymore. He let Ji-hyo express all her frustration. 

“Oppa,……this few days, I have been doing lots of thinking……and after considering lots of factors, I think………it is time, that we go on our separate ways.”

“What do you mean??”

“I mean,………..I want to break up…..”

Jong Kook feels like his face had turn white. He feels like all his blood had been out at once the moment he heard the word 'break up'.

“Wae? Are you blaming me now for everything that happened?” Jong Kook ask, still trying to control his anger.

“Of course not!”

“Then why did you keep punishing me for all this? Wae???” Jong Kook started to release his anger.

“This is for your best, oppa. I can’t drag you further anymore. You have been nothing but good all this while. I cannot be selfish and stay with you when I know that millions of your fans are hurting with me. Please….I’m doing this for you…you have a good name and reputation in the industry, I cannot drag you down with me.”

“Huh?? You’re doing this for me? I don’t think so. I think you’re doing this for yourself. Yes, you are selfish. All you think about is what you feel. You never care about me.”

“Oppa, pleaseee…..”

“Tell me something. What happened to Maldives sweet moments? Where have all the loves in Maldives go? Or maybe you don’t really love me as much as I think you did.”

“Oppa…..you know exactly my feelings towards you….”

“If you really love me, you wouldn’t make such decision. You know I can’t leave without you, you know I’m crazy about you….but you choose to hurt me in the best possible way….should I thank you for that?”

“Oppa,….I love you with all my heart….you are just angry right now that you can’t see the rational of my decision. When you have cool down, you will understand.”

“No! I don’t want to understand this stupid decision!”

Ji-hyo suddenly walk to the door and leaving it open.

“I’m sorry. I wish I could turn back time. But this is the best for everyone.”

Jong Kook get the sign that Ji-hyo wants him to leave.

“Ji-hyo ah….pleasee…..don’t do this to us….” Jong Kook said in whisper to Ji-hyo right at the door.

Ji-hyo gather her strength to look into Jong Kook’s eyes for the last time.

“I’m sorry, jagiya….I love you so much!..........But I can’t be with you anymore…….please understand me……….pleaseeeeee….” Ji-hyo starts to cry again.

Jong Kook seems to lose his words. There is no way he can coax Ji-hyo anymore. But before he left, he kiss Ji-hyo on her forehead for few seconds and tell her for the last time, “Take care, love…..I will always love you…” Then he walks out of the room.

After closing the door, Ji-hyo falls on her knees and cry out loud. “I’m sorry,.…...........I’m so sorry……”

Jong Kook say goodbye to Ji-hyo’s parents without telling in details what happen, and quickly left. When he walks to his car, he meet Ji-eun on the way.

“Owh, oppa. You’re leaving?”

“Ji-eun ah….do me a favor. Please take a good care of your sister, for me. And please always remind her,………………that I love her so much…………..”

“Mwuh??”

With that, Jong Kook walk on to his car leaving Ji-eun blankly. Inside the car, Jong Kook scream as loud as he can and let go of his frustration. He doesn’t care anymore when his tears flow like a river on his cheek.

PLEASE WATCH THIS SONG TO FEEL THE PAIN THAT JONG KOOK FEELS.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlaoK33KYpM

WISH YOU HAPPINESS - BY KIM JONG KOOK

Don't leave, don't leave now

Are you okay without me?

In front of me, looking at me

Are you crying? Yes you are crying...

Painfully, you are leaving me alone

While I'm still desiring love

I know the only thing I can do now is let you go

This is the last gift I can give you

Please stop saying that you loved me

That would make me look even worse

I wish you happiness, please remember this

You also feel sad about leaving me alone, don't you?

Just like me..

You were the only reason I lived

Without you, life is meaningless

Are you listening?

It's the last time so you listen to me

I don't know how to forget you and start a new life

We've been together for so long

And I'm sorry for that

Please stop saying that you loved me

That would make me look even worse

I can't leave without you

I need you

Please come back to me

Please do not leave me alone

I beg you.....

I still remember you told me "We'll be together forever"

But you don't need to find any excuses if you decide to leave

I wish you happiness..........