You stared at your own reflection in the mirror as your hair stylist did some finishing touches. On your right side Elena mumbled something against her phone, and when you gazed at her out of the corner of your eye you could see that she was playing some sort of game, and was probably loosing it. “What game is that?” You asked, surprised by the hoarse sound of your voice and you quickly couched to camouflage it. On the couch near the doorway your leader’s head popped up, her eyes staring straight at you through the mirror. Silently you reached for the water bottle that stood a little further away, pretending as if you didn’t see her sharp looks. She’d been goggling you like that for a few days now, and you knew why, but when she tried to talk to you about it you tried your hardest to change the topic, or to simply avoid her. Like you had been doing for the past couple of days. She noticed something was off with you these days and you could tell that she wanted to question you. Your members knew you and they knew that you usually didn’t show this kind of behavior. Sometimes you sensed them watching you carefully, as if to see the reason why you were acting this way written all over your face. But you would usually just smile at them before going back to work. Amanda thought you were too busy these days, and that you weren’t taking proper care of yourself. Okay, it was true that you had been taking on much more work than before lately. But you did it because you felt like it.

You had asked your manager for more personal activities these days, something you had avoided in the past. You weren’t someone who liked being alone, but these days you found yourself trying to separate yourself from the others. And they seemed to notice. This morning you had been present for a table read of a drama you were about to join. The filming was about to start next month. Knowing you had a live broadcast today, you’d traveled back early in the hope to arrive on the hour that had been set, but you’d been ten minutes late due traffic. Your stylists had immediately started pulling at you the moment you’d walked into the dressing room, begging to do your make up so you’d be ready on time. Then you practiced before getting into your outfit and getting your hair done. There were another twenty minutes left before the last practice, in which the six of you would be completely in stage outfits. Somehow you felt nervous. And even though you always had that same old adrenaline rush before going on stage, even after all these years, it seemed different this time. You cleared your throat, thinking it was dry and reached for the water bottle again, needing the refreshment. “Is Jungkook coming?” Amber asked from the chair beside you, her eyes closed as she leaned back against the chair. 

The sound of his name caused your heart to jolt and you smile brightened, before it faltered again. “Yeah, they’re all coming.” You couldn’t hide the tension inside of your voice. It made heads turn into your direction once more and you inwardly cursed. They always noticed the smallest change, it was kind of annoying. Being the youngest member of the group had always caused you to have a special position. The others cared for you in a different way than they cared for each other. You were the baby, the one who was being taken care of, no matter your age. Over the years they had raised you, and they all worried about you much faster than they did about anyone else. Usually you couldn’t be more happy when the guy of BTS had the time to come to your concerts. Since you and Jungkook had started dating you appreciated their visits even more. You loved having your boyfriend and friends over, and to catch up in between busy schedules. But this time you weren’t able to shake off the odd feeling that came over you. You had avoided Jungkook the past few days, like you had done with everyone. He had texted you a lot, more than usual, probably knowing something wasn’t right. Your answers had been short and corrupt, giving little information to what you were doing and how you were. He had asked you to FaceTime almost every night, but you had used the excuse of being too busy. 

You knew that during the past few weeks you had been a terrible girlfriend and you were angry at yourself. You felt guilty for not being your usual self and for not giving him the attention he deserved. Still, your heart fluttered at the thought of him being here tonight. You missed him, more than you could tell. Some silky curls landed on top of your shoulders and you shook your head from left to right to let them bounce. It was the look you liked most on yourself. “I think you look pale.” Jessica said from where she was standing, one of your stylist reaching for her to help her inside of a glittering jacket. Her blonde hair was shining in the bright lights and she was eyeing you carefully, like she had been doing for a while now. Though, you brushed her worry aside, and plastered a smile on your face instead. “I’m fine though. Maybe it’s the make up.” You said,  but by the way she sniffed you could tell that she didn’t believe you. You had stopped trying to convince them, they knew you too well to be fooled. Turning around you looked at your own reflection in the mirror, seeing the way your make up artist had tried to camouflage the dark circles underneath your eyes. For a second you allowed the exhaustion you felt to wash over you and you let the loneliness you had created tear you down. It was the closest you had been in the last few weeks to bursting into tears and telling everyone the truth. That you weren’t fine, and that you hadn’t been for a while. 

Though right at that time your phone went off, and you looked down on your screen to see the missed (melding) appear on your unlock screen. It caused your stomach to drop and your muscles to tense. You grabbed your phone and turned it over, making sure that you wouldn’t see it next time something would appear. “Was that Jungkook?” Elena asked, looking up at you with furred eyebrows. These days they wanted to know every single detail of your life, everything you did and everything you texted. Anything so they could find out what was wrong. “Yeah, it was him.” You muttered softly, feeling terrible as the lie rolled from your lips with ease, though you weren’t able to look her in the eye. While avoiding everyone’s gaze you walked out of the dressing room, pacing through the halls before getting to the backstage. Several staff members started handing you your earplugs and mic, making sure you were all ready to go on stage. The others followed soon after, mingled in a conversation of which you were sure it was about you. You were sick of it, of people talking about you. “_______________!” You heard Hobi’s voice ring though the space and you stiffened before lifting your head and looking up. You could see the guys walking up to you, most of them wearing a smile on their faces. But the guy who was taking the lead was sending you daggers, and you could sense his anger all the way across the room. 

The others seemed to have already been informed as they lingered behind to talk to your friends as Jungkook made his way over to you. You swallowed, your eyes darting around the room to find yourself some place to hide, but you knew you couldn’t. It would be childish to run away from him, and it wouldn’t solve anything. Nervously you tugged your earpiece in and out of your ear, hearing it isolate the sounds around you before they all came back in at full force. He stopped right in front of you, almost making your chests bump and forcing you to look up at him when trying to look him in the eye. The two of you rarely fought, and if you argued it usually wasn’t that serious and you would solve it soon enough. But this was different. You could tell he wasn’t just angry with you, he looked upset. You felt horrible, knowing that you