Silently another tear tickled down the side of your face, but you didn’t put an effort in wiping it away. Your skin felt sticky because of your crying, your eyes swollen and puffy, but somehow you couldn’t stop yourself. You had been able to stand tall the past few days, to man up and to pretend as if you were fine. But today had simply been too much. Another minute passed as you stared up at the ceiling, painted in clear white. Even that simple color reminded you of him and caused your heart to throb inside of your chest. A trembling sigh passed your lips as you forced your mind to think about different things, happy things, but your entire world seemed colored grey at this moment. Last night you had tried to convince yourself that this had been the best decision to make and that one day you’d be proud of yourself for being strong enough to do this. So you had cleared out your room, had thrown out everything that reminded you of him. Everything that caused your heart to break over and over again. You had deleted the pictures you had taken of the two of you from your phone, had changed your background into some stupid quote you told yourself you believed in. You had lost yourself into your work, writing new songs for your upcoming album, improving your dance and working on your long desire of trying to learn how to play the guitar. You had thought that those things might be able to make you forget about him. But boy were you wrong. 

Each time you walked into the practice room you thought of him, reminded of all the silly times the two of you had spend in there. Challenging each other to show off your best dance moves or simply laying on the floor and listening to each other’s breathing. Each time you thought about any inspiration for a new song his face would pop up in your mind, his smile, or the sad look inside of his eyes when he’d told you his last goodbye. When you played your guitar you tried to think of how proud he would be of you to find out that you finally did something you had wanted for so long. Pain consumed you and you squeezed your eyes close, wondering if it was possible for you to drown in your own misery. You couldn’t hate him for what had happened, you couldn’t even be angry with him. The only person you could blame in all of this was yourself. It had been five days since your company had informed you that your relationship was destroying your career, and his. The two of you had been sitting at that table silently, both crumbling and breaking apart inside while trying to show off that you didn’t care. It had been a hard decision because no matter what happened you wanted to do nothing more than fight for your relationship with him. You loved him so much, you would go to the end of the world for him. There was no one you held so dearly as Jungkook. He was the person you’d seen yourself grow old with, the man who’s children you’d wanted to carry and the man you’d wanted to marry one day. But now all of that sounded like a dream.

You had seen it by the look that had been written all over his face when the two of you had walked out of the room. He had already made up his mind. No matter how much he loved you and how much he wanted to fight for you, he couldn’t do this to s. And neither could you. The both of you had worked so hard, had gone through so much hardships together with your bandmates, you couldn’t risk that it got all ruined because the two of you wanted to be selfish. But if there had been one single moment you’d wanted to be selfish, it had been then. Tears had rolled down your cheeks when you had realized that moment was the end. He’d pulled you close one last time, had kissed you with so much love and endearment in it that it had swooned you, and then he had turned around, and he had walked away without looking back. He had been stronger than you. He had been able to leave it behind, while you were still here, bawling your eyes out. You wished you could do the same thing, but you weren’t strong enough. Strong, it was a side of you which you thought he had never found. Because he had only seen you when your guard was down. Today the two of you had seen each other again for the first time after your break up. You had dreaded the fact that you might walk into him as the two of you had to perform on a live broadcast tonight. Yet, when you had crossed ways with him he had looked past you as if you hadn’t even been there. You had felt your heart breaking at the scene. You wished the pain would blank you out, so at least you didn’t have to feel at all. 

A little further down the hallway there was another human being sulking in his chair. His eyes staring dully at some random point in space, but not seeing anything at all. The other boys tiptoed around him, afraid that anything would trigger his anger, to burst the temper that had been building up inside of him the past few days. They didn’t know how to handle him. One moment he’d be fine, smiling as if nothing had happened, but they knew it was just a mask he wore. The other he changed into a broken man, snapping at everyone who tried to talk to him, or almost bursting into tears. There were bags underneath his red eyes, signs that he had barely been sleeping the past few days. He couldn’t help it, every single time he closed his eyes you were the only thing he could see. You filled his dreams at night. Those where he would have had the courage to stand up for what he wanted, to fight for you instead of causing you pain. He had seen the look on your face before when he had straight out ignored you and he had wanted nothing more than to take you into his arms and tell you everything was going to be okay. But he couldn’t, because he knew that once he was holding you he would never let you go again. He couldn’t look at you because he knew the sight of you smiling to others or smiling at him would make him shatter. He had never felt so broken inside. It was as if he had left a piece of his heart behind that day, when he’d walked away. He knew he would never get it back again. He thought he had done the right thing, the only possible thing. He couldn’t be the destruction of everything they had built up over the years. He couldn’t take his brothers down with him, not after everything they had done for him. But then why did it hurt so much? 

“That’s it. You’re going to talk to her and you’re going to fix this.” Yoongi snapped from the other side of the room, causing the youngest one to lift his eyes towards him and frown. He’d already tried to explain the situation to them hundreds of times before but somehow they didn’t seem to understand it. They didn’t get why he’d be crazy enough to throw away everything he had for some assumptions, some ideas that came from a few people but were never proven. That was the thing, he didn’t want those things to become reality. He had to stop things before they went too far. “You didn’t even talk to BigHit about it before you decided anything. Have you thought about the opportunities the two of you have? No! Just because of what her company tells you, you ruin everything.” It was obvious his hyung was angry with him. They were all sick and tired of Jungkook drowning in his misery and self hate. Working with him was almost impossible, sitting in the same room with him unbearable. Things couldn’t keep going like this, they all knew it. And if th