You stirred slightly as you lifted your head, looking from left the right to figure out where you were. You found yourself in the middle of the living room, spread out on the couch. The TV was still playing in the background, showing some sort of movie. You couldn't remember watching it so it probably hadn't been very interesting. Heaving a deep sigh you blindly reached for your phone so you could check the time. It was two am, way past your bedtime. But then why weren't you there? You had to dig inside of your brain to figure out what had kept you up this late, what had caused you to pass out on the sofa. But soon you remembered. You'd been waiting for Jungkook, hoping that he would be down soon and the two of you could rest on the couch for a little while before heading off to bed together. Yet, here you were and there still seemed to be no sign of him. He had been working on one of his projects in the little studio he had decorated in one of the rooms of your house. He was editing a video he had shot and he wanted to get it over with. You understood his desire to get his work done, but this was going a little far. You didn't mind him working long hours, but not if it meant he had to give up his own sleep, causing him to put his own health at sake. He was human, he needed sleep, just like everyone else did. Sometimes you wondered if he thought he had some sort of powers that divided him from the rest of you, but the truth was that he wasn't. Yet, somehow it was impossible for you to get through to him. You pushed yourself up, steading yourself since your body was still filled with exhaustion. You had hoped that over time the two of you would get less busy and you'd have more time for each other. 

After all you both knew that being an idol was temporary and that one day you would have to leave the stage behind. That thought caused your heart to throb. Still, right now it seemed as if you were both only getting busier with each day that passed and neither of you was trying very hard to fight it. If it caused that the two of you weren't even able to sleep next to each other on a normal night, then what did this say about you? Weren't you both making things slightly impossible for yourselves? How were the two of you supposed to have time for each other if you couldn't even make time to properly take care of yourselves? You were dating Jungkook, but there were times you didn't even have the feeling you were in a relationship at all. When was the last time you'd had a decent conversation with him? One that lasted longer than ten minutes or one which wasn't done over a phone call because you were miles away from each other? The moment you had started a relationship with another idol, and especially someone with a reputation as Jungkook's, you'd known that things wouldn't be easy. You both took great value of your careers and neither of you was planning on sacrificing it for the other. Still, sometimes sacrifices had to be made, otherwise how were you going to survive this? You groaned as you reached for the remote, shutting down the TV and causing the room to be drenched in a crushing silence. You hated being alone with these kinds of thoughts. They circled round and round inside of your head, never left you alone or granted you a moment of peace. The worst part was probably that you wanted nothing than to talk to Jungkook about this. You wanted to tell him that you felt as if you were lacking, as if you weren't putting your all in what you had, which was a beautiful thing. You loved him, you couldn't imagine yourself ever loving someone else in the way you loved him right now, but that could be because your feelings for him had blinded you for everything else. 

Though, you didn't mind, you were content with it. But not if he didn't feel the same way or if the two of you would slowly start growing apart. You didn't want to have to go through that, see how your conversations would slowly die and how you would become strangers towards one another again. You weren't sure if you'd be able to handle that. And so you pushed yourself up from the couch and you started shuffling out of the room. A debate was going on inside of you. Were you going to talk to him or not? It wasn't always easy for you to talk to him about these sorts of things. He knew that, but these past few days he had kind of neglected his duty in asking you how you were feeling and so your emotions had been piling up inside of you. You didn't want to fight with him, you knew how those kinds of things ended. You had seen it with your parents, who had divorced when you had been around eleven years old. It had been terrible, hearing them fight every single night after they suspected you had gone to bed and you were fast asleep. At first you had been naive enough to believe that it was just a regular fight, that it would pass. But you bad been young and foolish, trusting that whatever your parents fell towards each other, that it was strong enough to survive whatever was going on between them. But as it had continued and the arguments had turned into rants and angry screams, you had just wanted it to end. None of it had been worth the pain they had been putting each other through. You couldn't help but wonder if the same thing would ever happen with you and Jungkook one day. If you would end up in the same way your parents had. Patting past the bedroom door you went straight towards the room where you knew he was hiding. 

The lights were dimmed, but you could still make out the light that came from his computer screen. How could he still be working after all this time? Heaving a deep sigh you reached for the handle and pressed it down, opening the door and looking inside. His back was facing you and by the way it remained that way you could tell that he hadn't suspected your appearance just yet. He was typing something while his eyes seemed to be glued on the screen, following the images of the video. You recognized Taehyung on it, walking around backstage. "Jungkook?" You whispered quietly, hoping that you wouldn't startle him. But of course that was exactly what happened. He flinched, clearly not expecting you to be around and his hands reached to tug out his earplugs. Swirling around on his seat he looked at you with big eyes, giving you a firm look. "Jesus ____________, you almost gave me a heart attack." He muttered as he brushed his fingers through his hair. It gave you the opportunity to study his face. He looked kind of pale, his eyes a little droopy. He was tired, but he was fighting it, unwilling to give into it. Crossing your arms over your chest you leaned against the doorframe, returning his stare. "Are you coming to bed?" You asked, knowing that there was only one right answer but doubting if he was going to give it to you. He seemed torn, between the need for him to finish his work and to sleep. Inwardly you counted the seconds that went by, the time it took for him to gather the courage to say what he wanted to say. "No, I'll be down in a bit. I want to finish this real quick." He shut you his bunny smile, the one that usually made everything alright, the one that should be putting you on ease. But today it did nothing of such sort. Your fingers tightened around the sleeves of your shirt and you could feel your jaw tighten. Still, you tried to sound natural as you spoke. 

"You mean like the last time you told me that? Which was four hours ago." You reminded him, knowing that when he said he was about to finish something real quick, that didn't necessarily mean it would be that way. It was almost as if he lost track of time when he was in this room, as if he forgot all about you. You weren't trying to annoy him, but you could tell that your words had stirred something inside of him. His eyes squeezed together the slightest bit, the first sign that he was annoyed. "I told you, I really want to finish this. You know it's important to me." He said, with a tone in his voice which informed you that he wasn't allowing you to argue with him. Yet, it was what you wanted to do, it really was. You wanted to tell him how much it hurt you that he wouldn't shut down that stupid computer and spend some time with you before you'd both have to go back to work tomorrow. You wanted him to tell you that you were important to him, that he wanted to be with you. But you knew that tone, you had heard your father use it on your mother many times before and you knew what happened if you would go against it. "Fine, I hope you have fun then." You growled, turning around, not even taking the effort to close the door. You were so sick of this. Something was boiling inside of you and you had no idea how to deal with it. Walked down the hall you aimed back for the stairs, lowering them until you were standing in the middle of the hall. You felt like screaming and crying at the same time. You hadn't even noticed that Jungkook had come after you when all of a sudden you heard his words coming from beside you. "What is that supposed to mean?" He asked, his frustrations clearly audible by now. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath in the hope that in that was you'd be able to clear your mind. When you opened your eyes your gaze immediately lingered towards your shoes and coat in the corner of the room. 

You couldn't go to bed like this, you needed fresh air. Perhaps that was the perfect way for you to cool down. "Just forget about it." You muttered, dashing forward until you were able to reach for your left sneaker. You stepped into it before doing the same with the other. Now you were happy you had fallen asleep on the couch with your clothes on. "No, I want you to tell me what you meant." Jungkook continued, his voice rising slightly, causing your muscles to tense. This was how it started. His reaction was probably heightened because of his exhaustion and the stress he was going through, but you didn't care. It was enough to make you grab your jacket and force your arms into the sleeves. "Where do you think you're going?" Now confusion was mixing in with it as he put another step forward into your direction. You couldn't bring yourself to look up at him. Instead you let your gaze wander away to find your keys. You didn't know what to do. He was asking you all these questions and you didn't know how to handle them. "I need some fresh air." You informed eventually, knowing that he did deserve an explanation. He had to know that you weren't planning on leaving, that you were going to come back